Ouroboros

by

Trycee

Time Line: Season 6-7, Before All Things.

Disclaimer: I do not own the X-files, I wrote this for fun not profit.

Description: Story addressing the infamous tattoo and it's disappearance. *This is a re-write of my original Ouroboros story which was a one-shot/short story. I decided to expand it.*

Scully with Mulder's assistance straddled the cold leather chair with Dr. Harris tinkering with tools behind her. Mulder sat in front of her, in a small chair, fidgeting uncomfortably. "It's okay, Mulder," she smiled. "I'll be alright."

Dr. Harris instructed Scully to tuck her head into the circular opening of the black leather chair, cutting off her view of Mulder. It was an excruciating procedure but she was familiar with the process; she'd endured it numerous times before. It took over fourteen laser treatments just to get the black and the infamous red grass ink to even fade from her pale Irish skin. But this was her very last visit and she was incredibly grateful that it was now over. So many times she had endured the pain unbeknownst to Mulder, having given her body the weekend to recover and treating the wound herself, hoping that she wouldn't wince from Mulder's touch when he placed his hand on his spot on her back. She'd pop pills to dull the pain and spread out the laser sessions so she'd have time in between to heal and so Mulder wouldn't catch on to the fact that she was in pain. Mulder usually noticed everything about her, from the way she raised her eyebrows to how she crossed her arms. She knew it was difficult to hide anything from Mulder, he was a profiler, trained to pick up on little nuisances and changes in behavior. Yet somehow she had managed to pull it off. She hadn't been ready to explain what she was doing, not at that time.

Each time she'd an appointment, she'd come alone, not even her mother knew she had the Ouroboros tattoo. Only Mulder did. But Scully knew all along that she wanted Mulder there with her for her very last treatment. She knew what was at stake but she didn't care. It had to be done, she just needed to stop her stomach from flipping and her hands from shaking as she sat early that Saturday morning dressed and staring at her telephone. She forced herself to dialed his number, and she waited for his raspy voice to answer. She had simply needed to spit it out, "Mulder, will you go on an errand with me."

Without hesitation Mulder had answered, "Yeah, Scully, be there in 15", and hung up.

Scully could tell from Mulder's voice that he had been surprise to even hear from her on a Saturday morning of all things, after-all they usually kept their distance from each other on the weekends. Mulder hadn't even asked her what the errand was for, she noticed and so she waited for him to show up, as she slipped an Alka-Seltzer in a glass of water to ease her nervous stomach.

Twenty minutes later, Mulder arrived at her door, smelling fresh from the shower, dressed in tight blue jeans, tennis shoes, and a white t-shirt. It was obvious from his still wet hair that he had jumped into the worlds' fastest shower and rushed over to her place but she wasn't complaining. She cooked him a large breakfast, and smiled to herself and watching as he scarfed it down quickly. They ate in virtual silence and again Scully had noticed that Mulder still hadn't asked her what her about her Saturday errand.

She did notice the surprise expression on Mulder's face when she'd asked him if he would drive in his car to her appointment near her apartment in Georgetown. And to Mulder's credit, he kept his mouth close, placing his hand on his spot and walked her down to his car. She stared out the window as he drove to the address she had written on a piece of paper for him. He remained silent even as they pulled up to the five story glass office building in Georgetown. He parked and shut off the engine and sat back in his seat, waiting for her to speak. She twisted her hands nervously and then turned to face him.

Scully figured the best way to approach the situation was to just spit it out. It seemed to work that morning when her courage had failed her. "Mulder, I have an appointment for my last tattoo removal treatment."

She turned back in the direction of the office building in front of her, watching the doors swing open as people walked in and out, going about their business. Mulder was watching her closely, she could feel his stare burrowing into the side of her face. Her heart was pounding. This was a big step for them. It meant she would finally have to tell him how she felt about him and she was scared.

"Tattoo removal?", he had finally spoke.

She had turned to face him. "Yes, the last treatment. It's laser. It hurts a lot. And...I wanted to put that memory behind us."

She panicked then. 'US. Oh no! ', she thought to herself. 'I'd meant to say ME'.

Scully stared down at his leg avoiding his gaze as she waited for him to say something. Mulder continued his observation of her, noticing how uncharacteristically nervous she was. He had also noticed her use of the word, 'US'. He knew what the implications of her tattoo removal meant. He knew it was for him. He reached out then and touched her hand, enveloping it in his, stroking it tenderly and she had sighed, much to his delight. It was like music to his ears. "I think its a good idea to put this all behind us."

She smiled and watched in amazement as his fingers stoked her hand, sending electric shocks throughout her entire body. Her brain registered that he was holding her hand, he wasn't pulling away either as if it was forbidden. Mulder was stroking her hand in a way that made her entire body tingle.

At some point, Scully had figured out that in order for them to move them forward as a couple, she needed for Mulder to know that the tattoo was gone. She felt it in her gut that Mulder needed to see it for himself. Scully knew without a doubt that Mulder needed to be reassured. He needed to know from her that she was his and his alone. She sensed that without it, they could never move past longing. This was Scully's attempt at showing Mulder that she would always be his, even though they had yet to establish just what 'this' was. Scully could tell from the day he had visited her in Philadelphia in the hospital with the police photos of her tattoo in his hands that the tattoo bothered him. The tattoo was a permanent reminder of Ed Jerse, a man she felt was like a blemish interfering with their partnership and their future 'relationship'. Mulder grew quiet whenever her shirt accidentally rose up or numerous occasions when she'd laid in the hospital bed and felt his finger rubbing against the soft skin of her back in circles, tracing the tattoo.

She'd hadn't realized the tattoo's affect on Mulder until they were forced into the decontamination shower together by Diana with a low wall where they could see each other's naked bodies clearly. She had turned away from him after noticing his 'situation' as Mulder gawked at her own body. She'd turned her back to him despite being very pleased by his reaction to it but she couldn't let him stare at her body unchallenged. She had smiled to herself though, pleased by what she'd seen of his 'assets'. But then it had occurred to her that Mulder could still see her buttocks but he could also see the dreaded tattoo. She'd turned back to face him in but the look on his face was a mixture of pain, sadness and defeat. She tried to lock onto his eyes and pull him out of his thoughts but he broke his gaze away from her. And then she had noticed something else, that Mulder had 'deflated'. Embarrassed, Mulder turned from her and her heart sunk. All she wanted was him but now Scully knew that Mulder could never get past that period in their lives. Her Ouroboros would always be a reminder of the time she was nearly killed by a man who was attractive and sexually appealing but when he kissed her she had lost all interest. It was wrong, and as much as she wanted to be care-free and capable of a one night stand like everyone else in the world, the Catholic Girl in her screamed out in protest. But it was the feeling that she was betraying Mulder that got to her. She had an overwhelming feeling that she was cheating on him with a man she didn't know.

She'd pushed Jerse away. He had shrugged his shoulders, saying he was too drunk to perform anyway and fell asleep on the couch. She had changed into one of Jerses' work shirts but he smelled differently than the one man her heart ached for and so she had locked his bedroom door, and fallen asleep in his unfamiliar bed alone. And for years, she had let Mulder believe that she had slept with Ed Jerse, never once correcting him. It hadn't been his business, as she had reminded him, but it was obvious that it had bothered Mulder more than he had ever let on. The proof was in his reaction in the shower. Scully knew then that no matter what the future held between them, Mulder would always be reminded of what he thought was her betrayal whenever he saw her tattoo.

She knew what she had to do. She had to remove all doubt from his mind before they could consummate their relationship, there could be no hesitation, no reason for Mulder to ever be reminded of the past. She had to rid her body of Ed Jerse, the man that caused a division between her and Mulder throughout the years. She knew she wanted to do this for herself as well as for Mulder, they needed a clean slate. She was thinking about all of that as the nurse explained that she needed to remove her top and keep on her pants. The nurse handed her the blue half gown and then closed the door, leaving Scully and Mulder alone. Mulder stood up to leave but she grasped on to his hand and held it. "Don't," she sighed. "It'll take me just a minute."

He sat back down and she turned her back to him. He watched as she unbuttoned her blouse and then laid it on the chair. Mulder's eyes were bulging as he watched her, seeing more creamy skin than he'd seen since Antarctica and the decontamination shower. Scully was fully aware at that moment of Mulder's presence. She could feel him watching her with intensity. "Mulder, will you undo the back of my bra?"

She could hear Mulder clear his throat and then he stood up behind her and then unhooked it. He continued to stand there as she slid it off her arms and then tossed it to the chair. It was a brownish silk bra that he was sure he'd seen in one of her Victoria Secret catalogs. He could see the sides of her breasts and she heard his voice hitch as he stared. She slid the blue paper gown on, covering up her breast an exposing her back to him. He reached out and touched her back where the tattoo used to be. He could only see a few faint lines. She turned to face him and he reached up to adjust her blue gown on her shoulders, a smile on his lips. She smiled back at him. The door swung open and Dr. Harris entered with her chart, ready to start the procedure.

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