Peggi: Hey there, just me again, coming up with another one-shot story. This revolves around Tea and her thoughts, but even if you don't like her, you'll probably still enjoy this. It's kinda funny, there are NO bashings in this fic but be warned, some people do get insulted. It's not all that bad though.
Warnings: Language! I used a lot of not-so-kid-friendly words in this. It's not riddled with them and there is no appearance of the forbidden 'f' word on here (the four letter one, not the friendship one, although there is no friendship, either...).
Please read and review! This is a one-shot only, so no more chapters after this one! I might make other one shots similar if people really like this one, but no more about Tea (for now!). Hope you all enjoy! If not, oh well. I did!
Tea's eyes glowed red with anger. She was so sick and tired of reading fanfics on fanfiction. net that were so untrue that it almost hurt! Sure, 4Kids had turned her into a friendship-ranting mild-mannered hero-type person, but that simply wasn't her! She gave more insults than friendship speeches, and her temper was about as "mild" as that of an enraged bull! The one thing that bothered her the most about reading these horrible fanfics was seeing herself paired with boys she honestly couldn't date even if she were paid to! Pairings with Seto Kaiba, Yugi Moto, Pegasus J. Crawford?! And the worst pairing she'd ever seen was with Yami. The pharaoh?! I mean, c'mon, what did these people take her for?! Something had to be done.
The next day, the director from 4Kids was shooting a scene and Tea walked onto the set, smiling and in her usual attire, ready to be a supporting actress. Unknown to all of her fellow actors and to the director, she had switched the main camera lines around a bit after doing some research on yahoo, and now when they began recording, they would be broadcasting live feed all across the world! It was time to make her mark on the world!
The director made sure that everyone knew their lines, and then, "Alright everyone! Places! Lights, camera, and. . .ROLLING!!!"
On the set, Yugi was talking to Joey, encouraging him to just do his best in duels and as long as he was doing his best, no one could beat him! Now it was Tea's turn to give him a lecture on the importance of friendship.
"Joey, if you ever feel afraid while you're dueling, just look at us!" she began, everyone on set not knowing what was about to hit them, "Looking at us will always give you confidence! I mean, you could have far less lines like Tristan, have a psychotic murdering lunatic living inside of your jewelry, even though you're a boy, and yet you're wearing a tacky Millennium Ring. I mean you could even have electrocuted hair or be short, like Yugi! And look at Mai! She must be so cold in those skanky clothes that she wears, not to mention that chest must really hurt her back!"
At this point, not a single jaw in the room hadn't dropped to the floor.
"Also," she continued, "you could go around looking like a transvestite wearing eyeliner, gold jewelry, a white tank top and cargo pants that are way too tight and make everyone stare at your ass like Marik. You could have abandonment issues like Pegasus and force people to duel at your competitions just so you can pretend people like you, or even open up a game shop where you advertise your brand new duel monster's game just so people will start to notice you!"
At this point, not a single person in the room wasn't insulted or worried that they were about to be insulted.
"And the last thing," she walked up to Joey and gave him the biggest movie kiss of all time, "I just wanted to clear things up about me liking Yugi or his gay-ass alter ego. I don't. But baby, have I got a thing for you!"
With a dizzy smirk on his face, Joey just stood there while Yugi ran off of the set crying. Yami glared from one end of the room, hiding his rainbow colored wristband under his jacket cuff, Pegasus crossed something off of his list that involved a new dueling competition, Marik grabbed Tristan's coat from off of him and covered up with it all the way up to his neck, Mai pulled at her tank top and tried to make it stretch to cover more of her stomach and then moved her hair over her shoulders so that it hung in front of her chest, Yugi was still crying while Ryou tried to brush out Yugi's hair. Ryou gave the Millennium Ring to Duke, who was deleting evidence on a laptop of future games he'd planned on inventing and instead took the Ring hoping it would attract some friends, Tristan worked on writing some new lines into the script for himself, and everyone who had been watching TV and had had their program interrupted was now speechless.
4Kids Entertainment was pretty much crying, the director decided to quit, and Tea seemed pleased with her work. She then decided to convince an authoress to write it all down, because sadly, 4Kids Entertainment has evil powers. They deleted the information from the minds of all of the viewers who had witnessed this, but not before Tea had gone to someone she knew to be crazy enough just to post this.
The phone rang once, twice.
"Hello?" a voice came.
"Hi! My name is Tea, is this The Insane Goddess of Authoressness...ness...ness, Peggi James Crawford?"
"Why, yes it is! Hi Tea!"
"Can you do me a favor?"
"Sure! After what I just saw you do, I'll do anything you ask! 4Kids must be so mad!"
And so Tea agreed that they were quite angry. Peggi wrote down the events as she'd seen them, and barely managed to open up the document into her fanfiction. net account before 4Kids got to her. Sadly, all other evidence of this event taking place has been erased from our minds, but the memory of the day Tea decided to turn into a bitch will always live on in the hearts of millions who read about it, and maybe, just maybe, it will spark a memory and someone will remember. Until then, it will never be forgotten, in the profile of the insane authoress, Peggi J. Crawford.
Peggi: OKAY so it's not the most comical thing in the world. But you have to admit, poor Tea sure does get a lot of bashings because of the way 4Kids made her new-and-not-so-improved character. My insults to the other characters wasn't a bash, as the only character I still don't like at this point is Yami, and I would never openly bash him on a website, so all insults were distributed equally. I do these things to Tea too, so don't think she'll go completely untouched by my evilness.
Tea: I liked it. For once, someone showed the world how I really feel! Take that, mean authors and authoresses who bash me!
Peggi: Hope no one was offended, which you shouldn't be, as I insulted some of my favorite characters in this. Oh, and no, I'm not too partial to pairings with Tea outside of Tea/Joey, which is what sparked this, but I really have no problem with those types of fics, I simply don't read them. So no flames about that either, kay? Okay you can leave me some reviews now please and thank you!