This is a rewrite of my fanfic 'Turn back'. The old version still exists for whoever wants to read it or likes it better.

I will bring in new things or take some out.

You will notice similarities and differences to the old one but I guess that's normal. Please tell me about mistakes since my native language is german, not english, so help with that will make reading more enjoyable and improve my writing.

The rewite will not affect the continuation much ('Step forward') that is already out.

And special thanks to the Deviant x-cress who gave me lots of advice and help.

I don't own TAL, Kang Im does! Go support her on naver!

Turn back: The Pain of Life

„...Gotaya. Could- I rest a bit?"

„…"

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Yi-Mae stops.

„What? What happened?" Ignatio questions surprised while he supports Mu-Young.

Yi-Mae's mask cracks at the bottom as he looks at the sky.

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Baek-Jeong stretches his arm out in Jin's direction. He pulls it back and looks at Jin with his intact eye.

He reaches out again „Ja-Yun..."

Crack

I jolt awake with a terrible feeling. My body is shaking though I do not know why. I look out and notice it's still night. I walk into the kitchen, intending to drink a class of water when I remember why I woke up.

Memories rush into me, the glass falling down. The clirring of the shards remind me of weapons clash, the sound of it makes those memories even more alive. Everything, just everything... It hurts so much. My head throbs, my muscles hurt.

Those memories, are they real? They hurt so much, are so alive. I collapse on the floor, those pictures and sequences having taken their toll on me. I stand up despite my exhaustion, panic building up inside me.

„Hyung... Surely, he can help" I tell myself and rush to the phone.

I'm already halfway there when I catch a glimpse of the calender. I walk up to it and see what has been written on it.

/That's.../ Some sort of despair and uneasyness comes up in me /The notes I wrote down... Where are they? Why does it show this date? What the hell is going on here... This date is three days after granny's funeral.../

Dread froms, the dream coming to the surface again, images haunting me. I storm to the phone, dialing Mu-Young's number.

„You ASSHOLE! How DARE you call me in the of the NIGHT?!" It bellows with rage from the other side.

I freeze up completely, shock taking over.

„Hey! SAY something!" He orders.

My mouth opens and closes a few times before I'm finally able to say something „H-hyung..."

„Huh? That voice... Jin? I'm sorry, I didn't know it was you" Mu-Young apologizes for his outburst „Why are you calling so late? You should be sleeping"

I'm shaking, memories of Mu-Young lying down after being poisoned appearing inside me, clouding the other images of the dream „A-are you alright?"

„? I'm okay. And you? It's only been three days since your grandmothers funeral after all" He replies confused.

I stop shaking a bit. Hearing that he's okay made me feel better but it's weird. 3 days? Panic comes again, Baek-Jeong's corpse haunting my mind. Despair crawling forth.

„3 days? Hyung, it's been way longer than that..." I answer unsure and shaky „Is Ignatio with you? Is Baek-Jeong..." I can't even finish my sentence.

„What are you talking about?" Mu-Young wonders confused and worried „It's only been three days. Why would you think otherwise? And who are Ignatio and Baek-Jeong? I don't anyone like that. Were you having a nightmare, you sound a bit shaken"

/A nightmare...? That could be it. Chachaoongs don't exist, it was all just a dream! Maybe I listened to much to Li-Nae. But why does it feel so weird?/ My trepidation lessens a bit but remains still „You must be right, it was a nightmare, nothing more. I'm sorry for worrying you, it was too real"

„It's probably the shock from your grandmothers passing, she was your only family after all. Don't worry about some dream, you can always tell me when something happens" He assures me „I'll be back in around a month, hang in there"

„I will, thanks Hyung" I reply with a small, relieved smile „Have a good night"

He hangs up after that and I go back into my bed, yet, somehow, I feel that it's not right at all. The people in my dream, I miss them... But they're not real?

In the end, sleep slowly embraces me without anymore dreams.

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School sure is the same as always.

„Hey, Jin~" One of my classmates comes up to me and hand me a pile of papers „Can you bring them to the staff room for me, I'm kinda busy"

„Sure" I answer with a smile.

He thanks me and walks away in a hurry. I look after him and start going into the staff rooms direction.

/Huh?/ I stop aprubtly /That just now.../

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„Hey, Jin~" He hands me the papers „Can you bring them to the staff room for me, I'm kinda busy"

„I will, don't worry"

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/That can't be right!/ I stiffen, a cold shudder runs down my spine /The exact same happened at the beginning of my dream! ...A mistake. Yeah, I must have made a mistake, it was just my imagination!/

I hand the papers over and head back to my class. Li-Nae and my other friend are arguing with each other.

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„Come on!" Li-Nae says angry when she sees me „Jin, help me, this guy won't understand anything!"

„That's not true" He argues „I told you it's not possible, listen for once!"

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/What the hell was that? Another part of my dream, why...? It's not like it will happen/ I ridicule myself.

„Jin, help me, this guy won't understand anything!" Li-Nae tells me.

„That's not true!" The other says angry „I told you it's not possible, listen for once!"

I stand there frozen /What...? How.../

A new wave of dread and despair hits me, my body becoming cold. This can't be happening, definitly not. Noticing my lack of reaction, the two turn to me.

„Jin, are you alright?" Li-Nae wonders concerned.

„He obviously isn't" The other responds worried „He's completely pale. Come on Jin, I will bring you to the nurse, you look really bad right now"

My body becomes numb, I'm struggeling to stand straight „Why is everything..." I lose consciousness.

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„Nngh..." My body aches, my mind fuzzy.

I open my eyes slowly, blinking at the light flooding in. My head feels hazy and my body hurts. I can make out objects, the nurses room. I sit up, the motion making the pain in my increase.

„Lie down again" The nurse says stictly when she comes into view „You fainted in the classroom, though I cannot tell why"

„I'm okay again" I tell her with a slight smile „Just a bit dizzy, I didn't sleep well last night"

A lie. My head is killing me. What I heard and saw making my mind numb.

The nurse sighs „You will stay here until the current lesson is over, then you can go back to class. Don't stay up too long at night, it's bad for your health"

The conversation ends there.

The next days aren't any better. Li-Nae tells me the same things I already heard in my dream. I tried changing the topic and somehow succeeded but everything kept happening like before.

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/Let's say it wasn't a dream/ I muse /Then I should be able to find Chachaoongs somewhere. When I find one it could prove that at least a part of that wasn't just my mind playing tricks.../

I stand up and go out of the house. I wander around the streets, seeing people happily chatting with each other. Looking at them makes me remember those people from my dream. Though we argued, there were times when we laughed.

I say that it must have been a dream, but secretly, I'm wish that it is reality. I faintly hear the sound of metal clashing against metal and lift my head. I head into the alleyway it's coming from and see two men fighting with each other. I hide behind the corner and observe quietly.

When one of them loses his weapon, a new one appears and the fight continues. Seeing this, I realize that it wasn't a dream all along.

/I'll try summoning a weapon once I get back home. ...What should I do from now on?/ I sigh uncertain and scratch my cheek, this is troublesome.

I walk back rather slowly, uncertainity lingering in me.