A/N: I think I've established by now, that I own nothing in my fics unless stated otherwise. This song is so beautiful. Taylor Swift is writing my life. And the characters that live in my head, their lives too.
Julian looked through his shades and out the window, watching the world beneath his private jet, which happened to be several thousand feet in the air.
"You're doing the right thing," the female's voice said from behind him.
"Why doesn't it feel like it, Carmen?" the actor shot back, not missing a beat.
"I don't know. All I know is, she—"
"How do you know it's a she?" Julian asked, turning his head towards her slightly.
"So it's a he?" she asked, raising an eyebrow questioningly.
"Maybe it is, maybe it isn't," he replied nonchalantly.
"Well, he or she wouldn't want you to pass up this chance," the publicist finished.
"Whatever. It doesn't matter anymore. It's done. I made the deal. You don't have to do this," he said, facing the window once again.
"Julian—"
"Just go," he spat, pulling the hood of his jacket up.
Carmen opened her mouth as if to say one more thing, but then pressed her lips together into a firm line, and left him alone.
'Finally,' he thought, letting out a soft sigh of relief when she was gone.
He stood up and made his way to the open cabin near the front of the plane. There, his team had placed a laptop and piano keyboard for him to practice with, courtesy of the producers.
Julian would be playing a shy songwriter named Ryan in his upcoming movie. His character was in his sophomore year at a prep school in Hollywood and he's desperately in love with his best friend, Olivia. The only problem for Ryan? Olivia aspires to be an actress, and she finally lands a role on a new TV show. Her popularity soars through the roof and she falls in love with her costar, Nicholas.
Then there's this whole part thing with a stalker situation. But long story short, Ryan wins over Olivia. Julian thought the whole thing was terribly cliché, but wasn't this almost exactly like his life?
At some point in the movie, Ryan writes a song for Olivia, which she doesn't hear until Ryan lands in the hospital. For lack of time, the writers and directors received permission from several singers to have the cast cover their songs for the soundtrack.
Opening the laptop, Julian started up the iTunes and clicked the playlist labeled, "For Ryan." In the playlist were two songs. Julian would be singing Invisible by Taylor Swift. One track was the original version of the song. The second was the instrumental.
Julian pulled up the lyrics and read the note preceding.
"Julian, these are the lyrics we would like for you to record the track with. We've modified them slightly from Taylor's original version, but memorize the ones we've provided. Thanks."
He didn't bother plugging in headphones. Why should he? He's Julian motherfucking Larson. Plus, it's not like he'd be bothering other passengers.
Within the next hour, he had every note of the song committed to memory. An hour or two after that, he'd learned the piano accompaniment.
When the plane touched down in Los Angeles, the first thing Julian asked to do was go to the recording studio. Unfortunately, he wasn't scheduled until the next day. Carmen convinced him to go home and sleep instead.
But instead of sleeping, he sat at the grand piano for a while and continued practicing. The housekeeper didn't bother asking him to rest. Once Julian Larson got into the zone, there was no stopping him.
The next morning, he woke up at the piano.
'Oh, I must've dozed off last night…' Julian thought when awoke. When he picked up his phone to check the time, he saw two new messages.
One was from Derek, asking if he got to California okay. He rolled his eyes and quickly sent back a reply, 'Yes, Mama Derek. I'm fine. Go worry about the squid.'
The second was from Carmen. 'Julian, where are you? You're late!' Noticing the text was sent only 5 minutes before, he sent back, 'Sorry, slept in. I'll be there in 20.'
Traffic didn't agree with him. He arrived at the studio 45 minutes later.
He breezed through the halls until he reached studio seven.
As he walked through the door, the director began speaking, "Julian, you're—"
"Late. Yeah, yeah. I know, Dan," Julian said, without even batting an eye.
He made his way to the piano and sat down, putting the headphones on, "Let's do this thing."
The music producer set up the levels on the control panel and then gave her okay, "Whenever you're ready."
Julian nodded through the glass then turned his attention to the piano in front of him and began playing.
Though the song was meant for one character to another, it meant much more to Julian.
He can't see the way your eyes will light up when you smile.
A small smile appeared on the actor's face as he recalled the way the blond boy's eyes shone brightly when all was right in the world. He rarely saw that anymore.
He's never noticed how you stop and stare whenever he walks by.
The countertenor would have to be unbelievably oblivious to not notice the way Logan stares.
And you can't see me wanting you the way you want him,
But you are everything to me.
'Lo's the ignorant squid,' Julian told himself as his eyes were beginning to mist, 'That's something that'll never change.'
Logan never noticed anything that Julian did when he was occupied with a crush. It killed Julian inside. Why did he have to be so oblivious?
From the other side of the glass, Dan saw Julian's extraordinary acting. Julia, the vocal coach, heard the voice of a regretful boy, desperately in love with someone who couldn't see him. She was impressed with his vocal acting as well as his physical acting. But was it acting? Was it really?
Ordinarily, Julian would never let anyone see this side of him. But this wasn't just any ordinary circumstance.
The only person in the room who saw through Julian's mask was the Carmen. She could pick up the small traces of emotion in his voice almost instantly. His façade was slowly cracking and only she knew.
There's a fire inside of you that can't help but shine through.
I'm always gonna see the light, in everything you do.
Even though some of the boys thought badly of Logan, only Derek and Julian knew the real Logan Wright. Julian could never overlook all the good Logan had done.
And all I think about is how to make you think of me
And everything that we could be.
Each time Julian left Dalton, he tried to subtly drop a reason for Logan to thing about him. Leaving a pair of sunglasses behind, stealing his iPod and hiding it with new content added, anything to get him thinking.
And I just want show you, he don't even know you.
He's never gonna love you like I want to.
Logan could hope all he wanted, but they all knew Kurt would never come around. He and Blaine were like the last pieces to each other's puzzle. They were perfect. Not even Logan could break the bond.
And you just see right through me, but if you really knew me,
They were best friends, but could Logan see right through him and choose not to? Or was he really that unaware?
We could be a beautiful miracle, unbelievable,
Instead of just invisible.
Julian closed his eyes, opening them only to check his hand position periodically. But even so, he was playing the song flawlessly, and singing with every ounce of emotion he had in him.
Like shadows in the faded light. Oh, I'm invisible.
I just wanna open your eyes and make you realize.
Nearly invisible tears began streaming down his face, one by one. How could he still love Logan even after he repeatedly put him through hell? How could Logan not notice?
I just want to show you, he don't even know you.
Baby, let me love you, let me want you.
No matter how hard he tried not to love Logan, he couldn't do it. He couldn't bring himself to stop. It hurt too much.
You just see right through me, but if you truly knew me,
We could be a beautiful miracle, unbelievable,
Instead of just invisible.
Tears were falling in slightly larger streams as the song came to a close.
He can't see the way your eyes will light up when you smile…
After a few moments of silence, the director, music producer, vocal coach, and publicist began applauding.
"Fabulous job, Julian! Flawless, absolutely flawless! Do you think you can act that well when we film the scene?" Dan said into the microphone.
"Of course I can, I'm Julian Larson-Armstrong. What the hell can't I do?" the actor replied, smirking casually to which everyone laughed.
"So Julia, do I need to go over any parts of the song?" he asked.
"Nope. Like Dan said, it was flawless," she replied, smiling warmly as she checked her clipboard. "Now, we have to record the background vocals."
"Awesome," he said, taking off the headphones and moving to the microphone in the middle of the room.
"I'll be right back," Carmen said to Dan.
She slipped out of the studio and into the recording booth where Julian was setting up the music stand. Then she took the sheet music from her clipboard and handed it to Julian.
"Is everything alright?" she asked, with a concerned look in her eyes.
"Yeah, I'm fine," he replied, with absolutely no hint of lying in his voice, even though he was.
"You just seemed really emotional, is all. I just wanted to make sure you're okay."
"That's a little thing called 'great acting.' And I'm fantastic, but thanks for your concern," he said, avoiding her eyes by fussing with the sheets on the music stand.
"Alright," she said, walking back to the studio area, still unconvinced. She knew he was hurting. But if he wouldn't accept any form of help, what could she do?
Through the glass, she saw Julian smiling at his phone as he typed.
His latest text was from none other than Logan Wright.
'Well, thanks for saying bye. Y'know, you should really let the prefect know before running off to do another movie.'
Julian smirked as he replied, 'Great way to start a conversation. Y'know, you should really not yell at your best friend for taking a potentially career changing job. Love you too.'
"Julian, are you ready to record?" Julia's voice said through the speakers.
"Yeah, I'm ready," he said, shoving his phone back into his pocket, still smiling.
Late that night, Julian sat up in his bed and reading over the script. When he finally decided to sleep, he picked up his cell phone, ready to dial. His thumb hovered over the call button, but he couldn't do it. He couldn't call Logan. Sighing, he sunk into the bed and pulled the covers up. Whispering to himself, he said, "Someday… Maybe someday, I'll tell him…"