Selfless

Chapter One

HANNA Marin sat on the comfortable, leather seat of her husband's company jet, looking out her porthole shaped window. If this trip had been like any other then her muscles would have immediately melted into luxury and she would have been peacefully asleep by now. However it wasn't, so instead Hanna was tense and restless. A loud, sleepy sigh escaped the tiny body next to her and a proud smile immediately made her heart shaped face radiant.

"Is she still asleep?"

Hanna looked over at the handsome man sitting across from her. He was peeking at her through one sleepy, hazel eye as he inquired about their two year old daughter. Hanna loved that he was as in tune with their daughter as she was. He was not the type of father who believed that taking care of a child was only a mother's job. He was nothing like her own father, Tom Marin.

Hanna assumed it was because of everything that she and her husband had been through, which made him so protective of their daughter and herself. Besides the fact that theirs had not been a traditional marriage, Hanna wasn't like regular women. She was one of those unfortunate ladies who had had to endure traumatic hardships and trials that normal women prayed never happened to them on a daily basis.

When Hanna had been sixteen she should have been … sweet. Her biggest problem should have been her then boyfriend's virginity pledge. Not for her though. She and a group of her best friends had been stalked by certifiable bitches, going by the initial "A", for years, having their secrets exposed and their lives turned upside down as they tried to maintain some semblance of normal that they had all craved. That had not been the worst of it though. At eighteen the girls had been kidnapped and tortured before the person responsible for their pain had finally been captured.

Afterwards she and her boyfriend at the time had moved to New York. Caleb Rivers had been Hanna's rock; he had been there for her throughout high school, through the darkest of times. Like when she had been falsely accused as an accomplice to a murder (which had been a complete ruse in the first place) and sent to jail.

Hanna sighed, dredging up old memories was not something she did often. Her life had changed drastically from those gruelling years. And while it still hadn't been all rainbows and butterflies after the "A" apocalypse, at least she was dealing with issues without a nut job sending her threatening texts and trying to dismantle the life she had worked so hard to create for herself and her child. And through it all, Hanna was strong. She had conditioned herself long ago. And it seemed that circumstances had only served to bring her husband and her closer, something Hanna could not be more grateful for.

Jordan Hobart stretched lazily as he woke up fully and Hanna smiled appreciatively at her attractive husband. However a small frown creased her creamy skin as she noticed the beginning of dark circles under his hazel eyes. Lately his muscular shoulders seemed to slump more often and the well defined angles of his face looked slightly hollow.

Hanna sighed. "You should get more rest, babe." She said softly.

Hanna had watched Jordan take on bigger projects in the last two years but none had been as strenuous as this. Of course her husband rarely complained about anything in life, but Hanna knew him well now.

"It's just a headache." Jordan had been having those often lately. "We'll land shortly." He rubbed a large palm down his face. "I'll just go freshen up." He stood up and squeezed Hanna's manicured hands before brushing a soft kiss on their daughter's fine blonde head.

Hanna closed her eyes for a moment, her thoughts being redirected from how tired Jordan looked recently. Yes, they would be landing soon. Their destination was not somewhere Hanna wanted to be in willingly, but she had no choice since she was returning to her hometown for one of her best friend's wedding. She had been surprised to find out that Aria Montgomery was choosing to marry in Rosewood. Aria was an artsy, quirky woman. Hanna would have expected her friend to tie the knot in some untraditional way and destination. However, Aria was also very sentimental and romantic so maybe that was the reasoning behind the decision.

Hanna had not been back to Rosewood in five years and while she could deal with a weekend in her hometown for the sake of a best friend, somehow Jordan had convinced her that he had a better idea. They would stay in Rosewood longer while his Investment Banking group opened up a new branch there. It didn't make sense. Hanna had reasoned. Wouldn't it be better to open up a business in Philly, where Rosewood people could still go to but at the same time be in a more commercial town, on a larger scale?

Jordan hadn't seen it that way at all though. He had told Hanna that at least they would have more reason to visit her hometown now and didn't she want Lys to know her roots as well.

To be honest Hanna wouldn't mind her daughter never knowing anything about Rosewood – ever. But after Hanna's own mother, Ashley Marin had rebuilt her life in Rosewood and it seemed like her friends still held the small town close to their hearts for the most part, point in case Aria's wedding venue, Hanna knew that she would always be tied to the town. Weather she liked it or not. So wasn't it time she started making new ties to Rosewood? Ties that weren't attached to pain or regret.

Hanna also knew that Rosewood had changed. It was a town resided by powerhouses now. Senator Veronica Hastings, New York times best selling author Ezra Fitz and even her mother held some grandeur as the manageress of a hotel that had garnered much national publicity for being an old psycho sanatorium.

"Hey," Jordan cajoled when he came back to join Hanna, "it's going to be alright. It has been safe to go back for years now and you're not the same person anymore."

Hanna mustered up a brave smile for her husband's sake. He knew her well enough to know when something was bothering her so there was no point in trying to deny it. Hanna was the only one from her band of friends that had not stepped foot in Rosewood for five long years. She did not want to look at a corner and be reminded about how she had to stuff a dozen of pig faced cupcakes in her mouth while a few jocks sat next to her and oinked in mockery at her. Or the time when she had been run over by her best friend Mona Vanderwaal, who had been one of the "A"s who had made Hanna and her friends' lives a living hell.

But most of all she didn't want to remember the good times she'd had with her first love. The man who had visited her in jail, refusing to give up on her, who had taken a job in New York so he could pay for her dream.

Hanna wasn't disappointed with the way her life had turned out now, she just wasn't sure she wanted to think about how her life could have turned out. Hanna looked at her sleeping daughter, bending down to also give the child a soft kiss on the forehead. Lys looked just like Hanna. Soft blonde curls, big crystal blue eyes when open and a full, pouty red mouth. Hanna would always do what was best for her daughter. Even if it meant she still had to tell a few lies along the way.

xxx

Hanna was excited to be sitting on the same couches at The Brew, a coffee shop that had been a regular jaunt when she had been a teenager. It was all the more special today because she was surrounded by her three best friends once again. They were hugging each other in every other direction and taking a few memorable pictures, content to remain in their bubble of happiness. Hanna had missed this, missed her friends, and was glad there was no lingering tension amongst any of them. The young women slipped back into an easy sync that made Hanna relieved about her return to rosewood.

"So, why Rosewood?" Emily Fields, the caramel coloured, exotic beauty asked Aria and Hanna and Spencer Hastings turned to the petite bride to be.

Aria shrugged delicately and then turned to look at the attractive, dark haired man smiling at someone from behind the cash register at The Brew. "This place has kept Ezra and I connected." Aria smiled at her friends, her dark eyes brimming with happiness.

Hanna knew that Aria too had not had it easy when it had come to love. Aria had fallen head over heels for her English teacher at sixteen, and while a relationship like that was doomed from the start, Aria and Ezra had always managed to find a way back to each other. Even with distance of continents and other people put in between them, they always wound up right back to each other, right back in Rosewood. It was sentimental but it was also true to the couple and Hanna respected them for it.

"We're going to travel for a while after the wedding, then come back here." Aria seemed so content with her decision that Hanna felt all the happier for her friend.

"This is the first time we've all been back here too." Spencer said in her husky voice. "I'm glad it's for such a happy occasion."

The other girls nodded and smiled at each other in agreement before the conversation inevitably turned to their significant others. It was a little awkward when Spencer told Aria and Emily she was dating Caleb for the last six months.

Hanna could tell that Spencer still felt a little uncomfortable with the situation and even though Hanna had assured the brunette not to be, it did make her shift in her seat as well when Aria and Emily turned questioning eyes on her. Hanna was surprised that Spencer was only just now telling the other girls about Caleb. Caleb clearly was still living in the Hastings barn and working for Veronica Hastings so things were obviously serious between the pair.

"I'm married now, remember. And I have a daughter." Hanna answered Emily and Aria's silent looks and flashed her wedding ring as if in proof.

"Yeah, let me see that." Aria grabbed Hanna's hand, always the one willing to defuse a tense situation amongst the four friends. "It looked bigger when you posted it." She teased.

Hanna swatted Aria playfully and then picked up one of the numerous bridal magazines the brunette brought with to The Brew. Hanna looked a little wistfully at it.

Spencer, with a platinum IQ and perceptive as always noticed this. "I honestly thought out of all of us, you would have been the one who made sure she had the entire fairytale wedding, Han'." The brunette said, sipping from her coffee while eyeing Hanna over the top of her cup.

Hanna had never had a traditional wedding with all the trimmings. She had fallen pregnant with Lys and her baby girl had become her entire world. It was like Hanna had aged a few good years during her nine months of pregnancy and suddenly she became less idealistic and more realistic.

She was nineteen years old, single and living alone in a tiny apartment, working for an absolute cow while she tried to graduate college. Yet three months into her pregnancy, when she could no longer lie to herself, all Hanna could think about was how she was going to provide for her daughter and be the best mother she could. Hanna had been fortunate though, her own mother had always been there for her, but Ashley had also made some really questionable decisions that had landed the older woman in even more questionable positions along the way. Hanna did not want history to repeat itself.

She certainly did not want her only child to grow up without a father, or worst, one who was half there or never there. Hanna came quite close to a poster child for daddy issues herself. That was why when Jordan had proposed, offering her stability and support, she had eventually accepted.

Hanna had learned to love her husband, how could she not?! Jordan was attentive and considerate; he loved her unconditionally and was an amazing dad to their daughter. Hanna could definitely forgo a dream wedding for what she had now.

Hanna shrugged. "Having a baby thrown into the mix can do that to a couple." She joked, rerouting the conversation down a different route.

The four women excitedly poured over wedding catalogues and got caught up on Rosewoods finest and not so fine. Ezra joined them towards the latter part as well and Hanna noticed that Aria and Ezra seemed to be more in love for all that they had gone through in the last eight years. She didn't envy them that because she knew just like her, her friend would be happy.

xxx

Hanna stood over Lys' bed, watching her beautiful daughter as the little girl slept peacefully. Hanna always enjoyed being home to tuck her baby girl in. It was a luxury she had been afforded with Jordan's support. After Hanna had dumped her former boss and started working as a receptionist, life had been tough. Hanna had still been in school. She had been pregnant and had only a trickle of experience under her expanding belt.

However she had always been passionate about fashion and not one for quitting, Hanna had persevered. It had been like fate for Hanna when one of her best friend's mother had been renewing her vowels and had been let down by a designer in New York. Of course Hanna would willingly help Ella Montgomery but it had also been the birth of a small, personal business that was now a nation wide, brand label with her husbands support.

Hanna felt a strong hand on her right shoulder and her world felt right again. Smelling the cool aftershave of her husband, Hanna placed her smaller hand on his, resting her head contentedly upon their fingers.

"Let's go into the lounge for a nightcap before bed." Jordan told her and Hanna smiled.

She truly was the luckiest woman alive. Jordan thought of her every need and as far as husbands went, he was quite perfect. Hanna snuggled up next to Jordan on the plush chaise. Her mother had given them a beautiful suite at The Radley and it gave Hanna a sense of detachment from Rosewood. Seeing her friends had eased most of her anxieties but it was only the first night back and she did not want to wake up tomorrow morning to her outdated wallpaper in her old room and feel as if she were stuck in a time that had been less than pleasant for her.

"Thank you." Hanna said slowly.

Jordan gave her a soft kiss on her forehead. "I didn't want you to run forever, Hanna."

Hanna sighed. Jordan was right of course, he always was. The most important thing to Hanna was that she did not keep any secrets from Jordan which could shake the entire foundation of their relationship. She had been completely honest with him, brutally so, right from the get go. Always. And miraculously he had accepted her for who she was and loved her unconditionally. It was one of life's mysteries Hanna was only too happy to never question.

Her marriage with Jordan was simple and there were no bombshells waiting to explode between them. The old Hanna would have considered a relationship like this boring but she had changed, every decision she made now revolved around her daughter.

"How does it feel to be back?" Jordan questioned gently.

"Hmm." Hanna thought about the question for a while. "Surprisingly easy and not as nerve wracking as I thought it would be."

"Even with Spencer dating Caleb?"

"Of course." Although Hanna replied immediately she frowned in thought at the question.

When Spencer had made a surprise visit to New York six months back Hanna had told Jordan exactly why one of her best friends had showed up on their door step seemingly with no hidden agenda. Hanna always tried to be as honest with Jordan as she could be; she had been burned by her lies before. Plus she had been pleasantly surprised to learn that relationships actually worked better with the truth.

"He must have been some boyfriend if Spencer has to ask for your blessing." Jordan said with interest.

Hanna shrugged even though her muscles had tensed. While Jordan always respected her boundaries they were honest and open with each other on everything except one matter. Something that had been a deal breaker for Hanna and Jordan had respected her wishes. He trusted her and loved her enough to know that if she refused to talk about something she had a good reason for it.

"She didn't come for my blessing." Hanna replied. However, when her husband had raised his eyebrows at her she had rolled her crystal blue eyes at him before explaining how Caleb had come to be an important part of her life.

In the present Hanna turned to her handsome husband, seeing that same searching look on his face that she had seen six months ago, when she had spoken about Caleb to Jordan for the first time. It hadn't been a topic of conversation she had particularly enjoyed but she would never patronize her husband either.

"Is he – "

"No." Hanna had cut Jordan of abruptly. She had known exactly what her husband was going to ask and was in no mood to open that can of worms. She was still mentally scrubbing images of Spencer's long legs wrapped around Caleb's slim waist. When Hanna had stared back at Jordan with a stubborn expression that could make CIA agents quake, Jordan had relented.

Hanna employed the same tactic now and was relieved when Jordan smoothly changed the subject. "Well, at least Charlotte Dilaurentis is no longer a threat." Jordan pointed out.

Hanna nodded enthusiastically. Two years ago Hanna and her friends' tormentor "A" had been found dead after years of being convicted to a mental institute. It was also the reason their other best friend and younger sister to Charlotte, Alison Dilaurentis had moved away from Rosewood. Alison had tried her best to help Charlotte "rehabilitate" but the fruit cake had ended up with a few two many nuts to be truly helped and had wound up killing herself.

While Hanna had expressed her condolences to Alison for friendships sake, how Hanna truly felt on the matter was good riddance to bad rubbish. Hanna, Spencer, Aria and Emily could not feel any remorse for a psycho bitch that had kidnapped them, placed them on lockdown in a dollhouse, implanted them with tracking devices and posted ghastly pictures of them with no make up on in an art gallery. Not to mention that those heinous crimes was only the tip of the iceberg.

"Yeah." Hanna agreed. "That definitely makes it easier to be back and sleep at night."

"I'm glad." Jordan said quietly. "We're going to be here for a while yet."

Hanna didn't feel too adverse to the idea anymore, now that she was back in Rosewood. She smiled. She was certain that this could be a good thing for her. She would catch up with her old friends, Lys could spend more time with a doting grandmother and maybe Hanna could start a new collection for this fall. Probably even have a showing here in Rosewood and possibly even merchandise her designs to some of the Rosewood boutiques now that Jordan would obviously be returning here more often in the future.

"Ah, I can here the wheels turning." Jordan teased lightly and Hanna smiled up at him.

"You know me too well, babe." She smiled and lifted her head to kiss him lovingly.

xxx

"She's doing well you know." Spencer said tentatively that night as her brunette head rested on Caleb's bare chest.

Caleb's hand momentarily stilled in her long hair before he kept stroking her wavy tresses. "I'm glad. You did say the girls were doing really well."

He wondered why Spencer was brining up Hanna singularly after they had just had sex. Whenever they talked about their friends they talked about the girls as a whole, because as much as Caleb also loved Aria, Emily and Hanna, he had loved the third in a very different way. A way that he had thought would have lasted for ever. But that was probably because Hanna had been his first real love.

Spencer lifted her oval shaped face, placing her chin on his chest now. Caleb eyed her tiredly. Did he really want to be having this conversation about his ex girlfriend while naked with his current girlfriend? He knew that Spencer had spoken to Hanna before she had admitted her feelings for him. The same way he had made sure that Toby had been okay with it, even though Toby was engaged to another woman now. There were rules when it came to friends like them. Friends who were closer than family and had gone through the worse together.

He had not seen Hanna in almost five years. In which time she had gotten married and had a baby. This had happened only a year after they had split up. But their relationship had been on the rocks for a while before then. It had hurt, it had killed a little piece of him but Caleb had also been able to deal with loss from a younger age and he had been taught how to detach from someone more easily that a well adjusted child could.

"Will it be awkward for you at Aria and Ezra's wedding?" Spencer asked in her husky, intelligent voice.

"Spence, they're my friends just as much as they're Hanna's and she knows I'll be there too. There shouldn't be a problem."

"I know." Spencer agreed. Caleb sensed a but not too far away though. "But you haven't seen her in five years. You haven't even spoken to her and I just don't want the two of you to be placed in an impossible situation."

Caleb raised his dark eyebrows at this. "How impossible can it be to greet Hanna and her husband?!" The words still felt raw for Caleb to say but he told himself that that was to be expected. He and Hanna had a lot of history. However they were adults now, they had both moved on and Hanna had given Spencer and Caleb her blessings.

"Listen, Caleb, I still don't know exactly why you and Hanna split up. But as much as you both say it was amicable, I just hope you two can still be friends.

Caleb sighed. "Spence, Hanna and I will probably be like Toby and you." This time he felt Spencer tense for a moment before she shrugged against him and left his chest to lie flat on her back.

It was hard when you loved someone with all you had for a long time. That emotion became an integral part of you. You couldn't automatically turn off your feelings, even when you moved on. A part of Spencer would always love Toby, as he would Hanna, but they were not the same people anymore. They had grown up, grown apart and moved on. Look at Hanna, today she was married with a kid. How could Caleb hold on to what they had shared?

"You better than anyone knew how hard it was for me when Toby and Yvonne got engaged." Spencer's voice was small. "But Toby and I at least broke the ice. I went over to see him the day I got back to Rosewood and I spoke to Yvonne as well. So when he proposed to her, some part of me was prepared."

Caleb turned to look at Spencer. "Are you saying I won't be prepared? It's not like I don't know that they're married, Spencer."

Spencer looked at him before she sat up in bed, pulling a sheet to cover her nakedness. Caleb knew that look in her coffee brown eyes. They always got brighter when a light bulb went off in her busy brain.

"Yes, but hearing something and seeing it with your own two eyes is not the same thing." Spencer reasoned. "She's changed, Caleb, a lot. She's still the same Hanna we know and love, but there's something different behind her eyes now. We've all had that determined look after A, but this is more." Caleb watched as Spencer frowned in thought, knowing his girlfriend hated puzzles she couldn't solve.

"Spence, Hanna has probably grown the most from all of us. She was always so focused on her career but we know that she's juggled a marriage and baby as well." Caleb could not hide the note of admiration and tinge of bitterness in his voice. Hanna had always been strong but she had come a long way from her Rosewood days.

The truth was they had broken up because Hanna and he had had issues connecting with each other even though their apartment had been the size of a shoe box. Caleb had hardly seen Hanna, they had drifted apart. It was real life issues. Hanna had focused so much on her career that Caleb had begun to feel like a hindrance. There had been no balance in their relationship and he had hated it.

"If I don't go, I'll lose my job." Hanna had said desperately.

"You said that on my birthday. Your birthday. New Year's Eve." Caleb argued. "Your life is on a loop. I'm barely a part of it."

The words they'd exchanged all those years ago still haunted Caleb till this day. Hanna had become single minded in pursuing her career and he had hated that she had started to make him dislike her for putting him last. The truth was Caleb was also irked. How was it that not long after they had broken up, she had managed her career and a family? Hanna was married for three years now and had given birth to a baby girl not long afterwards, but clearly her husband and she made it work.

Caleb had seen pictures of her and her husband on Spencer's laptop a while back. He hadn't been searching for it; Spencer had been looking at one from an email Hanna had sent her when his girlfriend had been interrupted by a work phone call and left the barn to answer it. Caleb had looked up and immediately felt his throat constrict. He was in no doubt that Hanna's husband loved her because Caleb knew that expression the other man wore when looking at Hanna. Caleb had worn that exact same expression for years.

"I know, but all I'm saying is that you haven't seen her yet." Spencer broke through his thoughts.

"What are you trying to say, Spencer?" Caleb was finding it hard to hold back on his irritation now. He didn't much like it when Spencer tried to get him to come to a conclusion she wanted him to, instead of just outright telling him. Did she feel that if he arrived there on his own he would believe that it was not her idea but his instead, making him more receptacle to the suggestion?

"All I'm saying is that I think you should visit Hanna and Jordan." When Caleb knitted his eyebrows together in clear surprise Spencer hastily added. "You know, as an ice breaker before abruptly coming face to face with them at Aria and Ezra's wedding. That way there won't be any pressure when you're forced to come together under the scrutiny of two hundred guests and our old friends.

Caleb sighed and ran his fingers through his long, black hair. He had been meaning to cut it for a while now but after Veronica Hastings had won the election for state senator he had simply left it alone. Caleb was glad his new girlfriend didn't have an opinion on his hair because she was like a dog with a bone when she had an idea. Like now. But maybe she was right.

Caleb would be lying if he said there was no curiosity as to what Hanna was like as a mother and a wife and how she was doing now. After they had broken up he had left without his phone. He had backpacked through Europe, leaving Hanna behind as well.

Of course he knew her number by heart, but he could never bring himself to call her. Spencer had been the only person from Rosewood he had managed to keep in contact with for a long time, because he had met her in Madrid during his backpacking days. They had connected there and he was glad that she had been the one to tell him about Hanna's marriage and kid. He wasn't quite sure how he would have handled the news otherwise.

"Fine." Caleb saw the surprise in Spencer's eyes. Clearly she had been expecting a fight. Caleb enjoyed surprising his girlfriend. It kept her on her toes. Which was not an easy feat for just any man, but Caleb and Spencer were a lot alike.

"Thank you." She said quickly, kissing him even faster, as if afraid he might change his mind if she said anything else.