I didn't think I would ever post this. It's been sitting on my computer for quite some time now. It was an idea I was messing with ever since seeing the picture I used for the cover, which has also been sitting on my computer, but for way longer. It didn't come out like this until I decided to go back and revise it. I still don't think it's fully formed, but oh well. Feedback is appreciated.
The night was cool and the stars were out for once. It was a nice night to be out of the house. Especially today. I couldn't stand to be home, not when my parents were both there. I had gotten so used to being alone that when they were around I didn't want to be anywhere near them. They didn't know me and we would never be able to connect again. I tried before, but as soon as I felt we were coming to an understanding they were lost in work once again and all progress seemed lost. It was better for me if I just kept my distance. I sighed and looked up at the stars from where I sat on my car. I drove as deep as I could into the trees before parking and using the recently shut off car as a heater, taking a seat on the hood. Being out at night was always calming for me. Although I was alone it felt different when I was out in the wilderness with trees on all sides and the sounds of wildlife surrounding me. I prepared to lay back on the windshield when a howl cut through the crisp air.
I froze, my heart skipping a beat when I saw the bushes ahead rustle. I slid to the ground, ready to jump in my car and leave, but the unexpected sight of a wolf no more than feet from me halted me in place. It whined as it limped, ears and tail down. Its fur was a dark russet under the layer of dirt and grime. Dried blood was my guess. I was stuck between wanting to help and wanting to get the hell out of there. With a whimper it finally gave in and collapsed on the ground, motionless. I stood there debating a moment and finally decided to check on it. I armed myself with a discarded branch along the way, readying it just in case. When I was close enough I peered down at the injured animal. Was it just me or was it bigger than any wolf I had seen? I stared at its side, looking for any signs of breathing. I saw none. With a heavy exhale I turned to head back to my car. I was almost across the clearing when the sound of movement reached my ears. I spun around to see the wolf on its feet again.
It was unsteady but still managed to move forward. I looked into its eyes and gasped at the level of intelligence I found there. It felt like it was looking right through me. Hazel eyes locked me in place, and without much thought, I raised my hand out to it. Its muzzle met my palm and held there as its eyes closed. A strange feeling flowed over me, a powerful energy I couldn't make sense of. In my confusion to try and understand what was happening I belatedly noticed that the wolf was now growling. In the blink of an eye my arm was trapped between sharp teeth. I cried out at the sudden pain and tried to pull away but I was yanked to the ground. Teeth dug into my leg and I reflexively kicked out. The wolf snarled as it was forced back. I scrambled to get to my feet but it lunged, throwing me down hard. I tried to get up again but it already had my side in its jaws. I screamed in agony as I was torn open, my blood wetting the grass.
With all the strength I could manage I swung the sturdy branch, landing a blow to the beast's head. It yelped and released me, stumbling until it fell to the ground. I didn't know if it was only stunned or if I had caused enough damage to kill it, but I didn't stop to find out. I forced myself to move, my hand gripping at my side in an effort to hold myself together. My leg burned with each step but I kept going. My bloody hand slipped on the door handle but I got it open after a few tries. I didn't think, I just had to get away. Once I got the car started I backed out and onto the road, forcing myself to stay focused. I barely made it to the edge of town before I had to pull over. My vision was blurry and the pain was all I could feel. I fumbled for my phone but couldn't find it. I fell back against the seat, tears tracking down my face. I was running out of time. I knew sitting there wasn't going to help but my eyes still fell closed. Soon, I knew nothing but darkness.
I weaved through the trees at a fast but steady pace. My spirit soared and my heart was content. I was free to roam once again. I had just hunted and I was full for the night. I took to exploring as I usually did, killing time before the night passed. For as long as I had been living with the wolf spirit within me I did all I could to understand it. I craved to be out most nights, but not all. Tonight the moon called to me especially strong. There was a change in the air I couldn't place. I galloped through the trees, winding my way to the sparkling body of water I liked to frequent. I lapped at the water before continuing on, following my instincts blindly. I stopped questioning that side of me a long time ago. There was no place for over analyzing things when I just knew without explanation. It was a different level of trust in myself as well as my senses. The scent of decay hit my nose and I stood absolutely still, ears perked and tail down at an angle. When I began walking again I approached with caution. I pushed through some bushes to see a wolf splayed out on the ground. By the smell I guessed it to be dead a few hours. I walked closer to see that fresh blood covered its mouth. Whatever it attacked must have fought back.
A glance around and I knew what must have happened. Tire tracks carved into the dirt not too far away. I trotted over, nose to the ground. Burnt rubber, gas, a splash of human blood. There was something else. Something that was almost familiar. I raised my head to the broken and twisted foliage that was the car's cantankerous path out to the road. It looked like whoever it was got away. I looked back at the dead wolf and tilted my head. I wondered if it was a shifter like me or just a normal wolf. Only time would tell, I guess. I ran from the clearing, deciding on heading home. The need to run as a wolf waned and I could feel it grow. I was ready to return. I stopped where I had started the night and prepared myself. Even after years of shifting I wasn't quite over the sensation of bone and flesh churning as it rearranged itself into another form. I gasped and braced myself on my hands and knees when it was over, the last bone cracking into place. I took a few minutes to settle before uncovering my hidden bundle of clothes. I threw them on and left my second home feeling a mix of happy and sad. It happened every time even though I knew I would be back again. The dead wolf I had found stayed on my mind all the way up until I was in bed and falling asleep.
The bright rays of the sun woke me up, blinding me even with my eyes closed. I groaned and held up a hand to block it. I tiredly pushed myself up to see that I was laying across the front seats of my car. My body ached and protested every movement I made. The dried smears of blood reminded me that I had been attacked. My eyes flew open and my hands hastily ran over my body. My arm, side, and leg were perfectly fine. How? Nothing but a slight headache was left, my body worn out and tired. It was like I was just getting over a sickness yet I knew I had been mauled by a wolf last night. I took a moment to calm down before starting the car. I was lucky the road I took barely saw anyone because I would hate to have someone find me looking like I just killed someone. In reality, I was the one who could have died. But here I was. It made no sense. I pulled up in the driveway of my house and looked around before getting out, rushing to the front door. I unlocked it as fast as I could and ran inside, shutting the door and leaning on it, hoping no one saw me.
I listened to the quiet house and knew no one was home. It was too late in the morning for either one of my parents to be there. I headed right for the bathroom, shedding my torn and bloody clothes before jumping in the shower. I turned the water on hot and scrubbed until my fair skin was red. While getting dressed I noticed the faint scars marking my body, evidence that last night really happened. I put it out of my mind for now so that I could clean my car. With that done I searched for something to eat but nothing interested me so I returned to my room. My thoughts revisited the terror and bloodshed of last night. I really thought I was going to die. How did such fatal wounds heal that fast? I refused to believe anything out of the ordinary was going on. It just couldn't. That stuff didn't exist. I shook my head and stood up, swaying when I did. My head hurt and my stomach rolled. I held a hand to my forehead and hugged at my torso. I tried to take a step but stumbled. I was heating up.
I dragged myself to bed and fell onto it, curling up. In a matter of minutes I was too hot for my shirt and pants so I pulled them off before sliding under the blankets. I broke out in a cold sweat, my body flaring. I laid there for hours, possibly. It was too hard to concentrate, to move, to think, to call out for help. So I laid there, waiting for it to end. It was all a blur, one that I was sure I blacked out from because darkness accompanied most of it. I almost didn't recognize the moment when it got easier to breathe again and I wasn't so tense. Slowly I unwound and was left feeling fatigued. When I was able I opened my eyes. What I saw confused me. I was lying on the floor and my room was a mess. It looked like someone trashed it. I pushed off the floor in my haste and instantly fell back down, too weak to get up. I gave myself time before trying again. I was stark naked and the little bit of clothes I had on were no more than tatters now. With a distressed sigh I set my mind on the task of cleaning up. I didn't know what was going on, but right now I couldn't even begin to accept it.
It was a bit odd not seeing Jade when I met up with the gang at Nozu. I thought I heard her agree that she would be there but maybe I heard wrong. That, or she was just being Jade and decided that she didn't want to spend her day around me. Even Beck didn't know why she suddenly changed her mind, and he was her best friend besides Cat. He tried calling her but she never answered. He shrugged it off but I considered it the whole time we were out. When we parted I took a detour home, passing Jade's house. I pulled up outside, wondering if I should check on her. No matter how many times she claimed we weren't friends, I knew better. The times we effortlessly got along or hung out without the others told me that she was more than comfortable around me. It just had to be on her terms.
She was always a bit controlling. She disliked anyone else having control over a situation regarding her. I shut off the car and got out, glancing around as was habit. I walked up towards the house but stopped when the breeze carried a scent on the wind. There it was again, the same one I smelled when I found the dead wolf. Was it Jade? Or was it someone else who was now following her? I didn't like the sound of that possibility. I continued to the door and knocked but no one answered after a few minutes. I tried the doorbell next but got the same. Either she wasn't home or she was ignoring me. If that was the case I would leave her alone. It was never a smart idea to bug Jade when she was in a bad mood. I could try again tomorrow. I turned and headed to my car, glancing back only once. I hoped she was okay.
What was wrong with me? I groaned as another shudder wracked my body. It was almost the same uneasy feeling I fought through yesterday except it felt different in a way. It wasn't as debilitating but just as annoying. As the day passed I became more and more restless. I ate almost everything in the fridge when my stomach demanded food. I had never eaten so much in my life but I wasn't as full as I knew I should be. I was pacing my room now, anticipating the night. I didn't know what I was waiting for but I knew it would come to pass once the sun set and the moon took its place. Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse a sharp pain jolted down my back, causing me to whimper. I fell over and curled up, gripping at my arms. I felt like I was on fire. Tears stung my eyes and fell as I writhed, powerless against the pain. I heard the sound of glass shattering, rumbling growls, a flash of green. The smell of soil and plants hung heavily in my nose followed by something metallic. For a moment I thought I was in motion, but that couldn't be. I was too paralyzed by pain to do that. I cried out suddenly as my back seemed to snap into place, like someone had twisted it back into shape.
I clawed at the ground, body tense and waiting for it to pass. When I was left weak and tired again I opened my eyes. I was lying on my side in my backyard. I was naked again and smeared with dirt. I had to force my fingers to relax their grip on the grass. I raised them to see red painting my skin. Blood. But was it my own? My other hand lifted to brush at my face, scraping off more dried blood. I could taste it on my tongue, bitter but not necessarily unpleasant. My hands shook and I clenched them to steady myself before getting to my feet. As calmly as I could I made my way inside, catching a glimpse of myself in the mirror hung up in the hallway. I looked wild, nothing like myself. I closed my eyes against the image and padded to the bathroom. Once I was cleaned up I entered my room, shivering at the chill that swept over my body. The window was open. No, it was broken. I sighed. This couldn't be happening. I could tell myself that as many times as I wanted, but the truth was, it was very much real. Something happened to me ever since that wolf attacked me and no amount of refusing it was going to change that.
I ran at full speed, enjoying the trill of dodging trees and jumping obstacles once again. I slowed down into a trot when I neared my destination. I had to focus. In my current form I could better scope out Jade's house and maybe get a clue as to what that scent was. I bounded over a fallen tree and let my senses guide me in the right direction. I came out down the street from Jade's house and continued along until I was standing in the backyard. I lifted my muzzle to the air and inhaled, instantly catching the scent I noticed before. It was stronger here. I quickly followed it around back, stopping to nose at a patch of torn up grass. I scratched at it, circled it, and stuck my nose into the blades until I realized what I was sampling. Another wolf had been here. I growled, hackles rising.
Jade was in trouble if this wolf had plans to hurt her. I couldn't let that happen. I had to protect her. I turned to face the house and looked up, seeing a broken window. Was that Jade's room? Did the wolf already try to get in? The sudden sound of a car door slamming spooked me. I skittered back, crouched low, and ran for the trees. I didn't look back until I was completely hidden. It was just a neighbor arriving home. I looked to Jade's house again before leaving. There wasn't anything I could do at the moment. I could only hope Jade wasn't the target of this new wolf. I was sure it was a new wolf too because I had never come across its scent until now. On my way home I made a decision. If I had to, I would fight for Jade.
The day was so ordinary I could almost forget how confusing my weekend had been. Almost. But I couldn't. It weighed on my mind all through school. I couldn't pay attention. My thoughts were scattered. I was officially checked out of reality. It didn't help that I was so tired. I avoided everyone. Especially Vega. I didn't think I had the tolerance to deal with her peppy mood. I took note of the way being around others seemed to be forever changed too. People had strong smells and I could hear so clearly. The smallest things caught my attention. The arrival of new abilities wasn't lost on me. After the denial and pity party I threw myself for the past few days I was finally starting to feel like myself again. My head was the most clear it had ever been and I knew what happened to me. That didn't mean it was an easy concept to accept. I still felt a bit lost, like I didn't fit in among people anymore. All I wanted to do was go home.
The desire increased tenfold when I felt the beginning of the familiar aches that dug deep within my bones. It didn't worsen until I was home. I fought to stay conscious, determined to experience what I knew would be a whole other world open to me. It was equal parts interesting and frightening. So when my body finally gave in to the push and pull by some unseen force governing my will I finally got to witness what the intense pain didn't allow me to before. The trees passed me by as I ran, the feel of the ground under me uneven yet I could traverse it with ease. I silently stalked prey with ease and soon my hunger was sated when it fell victim to my jaws. I was glad the blood I had woken up to before hadn't been human and this only proved it. I allowed my body to explore, as if it had a mind of its own and I was merely watching. Instinct told me where to go and what to do.
When I felt it ebb away I knew it was time to return home. Finding myself sprawled out in the backyard again wasn't new. In fact, it felt like waking up from a dream. I laid there, looking up at the sky. I closed my eyes and inhaled, ready to exhale when I caught a new scent. It was barely there but I knew I hadn't made it up. I sat up and looked around before raising my nose again. I followed it to a patch of grass, sniffing at the blades until they tickled my nose. What was that smell? Somehow I knew it was someone and they had been here recently, but that was all I could make out. A feeling deep in my gut warned me of another wolf. After all, if there was one out there then there could be others. I got up and went inside, trying to hold on to the scent, but after a long relaxing shower I lost it. I thought about returning outside to poke around but decided I needed the sleep more. So I turned in for bed as soon as I could.
I only saw Jade in passing at school. I was really worried for her. First she ignored everyone over the weekend and now she was avoiding us. I brought it up to the others but they kept writing it off like she was just being moody. Maybe it was my worry concerning the wolf hanging around Jade's house that gave me more of a reason to think something was wrong. I tried searching for Jade any chance I got but one glimpse of me and she ran off. According to the others they weren't even lucky enough to see her. To top it off, I couldn't track her down anymore. It was like she left no trail. By the time night fell I set out to her house again. Her window was boarded up and the patch of grass I inspected before still carried the other wolf's scent. The weird thing was, it didn't smell as hostile this time. It actually smelled, well, nice.
I took int the curious scent a few times before plopping down to roll in it. I had to memorize this smell. Once I collected enough of it I left. From what I learned and experienced scents didn't usually change like that. Unless…no. That wasn't it. I couldn't possibly be interested in this new wolf if I never even met them. Or had I? What if it was someone from school who just recently turned? It didn't happen often but it was still a possibility. Maybe that was why I had trouble decoding it last time. It was halfway between their old human scent and their new wolf one. Oh my god, was it Beck? Was he trying to get Jade's attention somehow? Or maybe even someone else who had a bone to pick with her? No, it couldn't be Beck. I would sense it. I had to pay better attention at school. I had to find out who it was, and fast.
The usual ache didn't bother me when I was at school. Instead, it replaced the torturing pain I endured once night fell. I was ready for it. I sat outside and waited until it twisted my form into another. The next time I stood it was on four legs. Everything was lucid and sharp. My body remained steady and strong, waiting for my command. A rush of primal strength seemed to race through me before I tilted my head back and howled. I couldn't help it. The sound was almost startling, even to me. My muscles bunched, and with a single lunge forward, I was darting into the wilderness beyond. I moved swiftly through the undergrowth and dodged obstacles in my way. I never had this much control until now and it was exhilarating. I let out a sharp bark, scaring off some birds. I skid to a stop and looked up as they took off. My ears swiveled in the direction of a new sound.
I scented the air, smelling fresh water. I made note of the direction before running off to find a meal. I crouched low, careful not to be seen until I was ready to strike. After I had my fill I casually headed for the water I sensed earlier. I stepped out from cover, looking around before showing myself. I made sure there were no threats before leaning down to drink, the water cleaning my muzzle of the red tinging it. When I was done I stretched out with a yawn, thinking about heading back. The urge wasn't strong but it would arrive soon and it was better to be close to home when it did. The wind blew, and with it, a familiar yet foreign scent came with it. I ran for cover, just in case, then peeked out. If I could gasp I would have. Instead, my ears pricked forward and my eyes focused on the wolf that just walked up to the water. I couldn't help stepping back out to get a better look.
I slowed to a trot and stopped at the shore of the lake to lean down and get a drink of water. The breeze shifted through my light brown fur and the scent of another came to me on the wind. I raised my head, my ears perked in interest. There, across the water, stood a beautiful black wolf. She looked back at me with the same amount of interest I gave her. I hadn't ever seen another besides me. This had to be the wolf I was searching for. She didn't seem like a threat. By her body language alone I could tell she wasn't looking for a fight. I took a step forward but jumped back when I remembered I had been close to the water and was about to walk right into it. Her eyes sparkled, laughter in them. I ducked my head sheepishly and then carefully skirted the lake to get closer. Her body tensed at my advancement but she stayed where she was. When I was close enough I took in a stronger dose of her scent, instantly recognizing it as the new wolf.
She moved to meet me halfway and stood slightly taller than me. Up close her eyes were lovely. Without thinking I nuzzled her, burying my face in her neck. She stepped away, unsure, but allowed my affectionate gesture. I sat back on my haunches when I was happy with our exchanged scents. She raised a paw and pushed at me, like I was an annoyance, then turned to walk away. I jumped up and followed her, blocking her from going anywhere and dropping down in a playful manner. I barked and waited for her reply, hoping I had a friend. She slowly fell into a crouch, accepting my request to play, and I launched at her. She easily fended me off, clearly stronger than me. She pushed me away with her head but I nipped at her ear and held on. She growled her frustration and tackled me to the ground. Her teeth grabbed at my scruff while she held me down. I whined and tried to get out of her hold but I couldn't. She released me after I had no choice but to submit. Well, she sure knew how to win.
She stood over me, ears and tail relaxed. I rolled over on my stomach, tongue hanging out in a happy pant. She looked down at me and then tilted her head. I pulled in my tongue and looked back at her just as she leaned down to lick at my muzzle. I closed my eyes and raised my head, allowing her to continue. Her ears flicked back when she touched her head to mine and then she bounded away, too quick for me to catch up even if my stumbling start didn't hold me back. She was obviously faster than me too, no matter how hard I ran to catch up. I whimpered, my ears and tail falling. I missed her already. I felt connected to her and she was so familiar. It had seemed like she didn't want to play, but with a little push it turned out that she was willing. I could still smell her on me so at least there was that. I quickly perked up at the chance that I might see her again the next time I went on a run. With that in mind I headed home.
Who the chiz was that? In all that happened I never stopped to think that I could run into another like me. Heck, I didn't think they even existed at all to begin with. But the wolf I met; it, no, she was playful and receptive. She accepted me and wanted to interact with me. I didn't know what to do. I was caught off guard. In the end I decided that it wouldn't hurt to play along. Now that I was back home and grounded in an environment I was more comfortable in I wanted to believe she was an ordinary wolf. Nothing more. Yet I just knew that she wasn't. She was like me. She held intelligence in her eyes like the one who changed me. And her scent, I recognized it somewhere before. I just couldn't put my finger on it. My natural reaction was to be on the defensive, but something told me I didn't have to put up walls. I trusted the wolf and felt comfortable with her. Maybe even safe. I shook my head at the nonsense my thoughts were going to, because I came to the conclusion that I wanted to see her again. I wanted to know who she was.
I could have someone who would understand and help me through it. But who was she? I went to bed remembering her scent, trying to match it to everyone I knew. I fell asleep before I could make any progress. By morning I felt more relaxed and arrived at school without a hint of agitation. It was like I was at peace now that I came to terms with the wolf inside me. I didn't feel the need to avoid anyone either so it was almost expected that I would run into Vega. Well, our eyes met from across the hall where we stood at our respective lockers. Neither of us looked away. Vega's eyes narrowed, scrutinizing. Her head lifted just barely and it was then I noticed what she was doing. Her nose flared. She was scenting the air. I found myself doing the same, catching that familiar scent from last night. Almost at the same time realization hit, both of us tensing. Vega was the other wolf. That was the reason I trusted her. Damn. How did she always manage to be there and help me when I needed it the most? I just had to be so lucky.
I walked into school feeling energized. The run last night was perfect. I met another wolf and we got along great. Ever since I willingly accepted my new lifestyle I felt so alone and lost. I dealt with the condition all on my own. I started to lose hope that I would find another to share it with until last night. She was gorgeous, her fur pitch black in the light of the moon. Her scent was stuck in my nose even now. If I concentrated enough I could still smell her on me. I went about my day, enjoying the routine, when Jade walked by me in the hall on her way to her locker. Suddenly, all my senses were on alert. I could smell her. Not Jade, but the wolf I met. Or, was Jade the wolf? I glanced over at her by her locker and saw that she was already looking over at me. I scented the air again, just to make sure. It was definitely her. I could see the same realization on Jade's face. But she showed no signs of being a wolf and I had never seen or sensed her out there before. She had to be newly turned, but who did it? We ended up staring at each other before deciding at the same time to look away.
I shut my locker and began to approach but she hastily avoided any interaction, striding off in the complete opposite direction. Okay, so she didn't want to talk just yet. I could wait. Or, I could find her later tonight. I allowed Jade to keep her distance all she wanted, but once night fell, I diligently searched for her. I found her again at the lake. She was sitting by the shore, eyes on the gently rippling water. I made a point to make noise when I walked over so that I didn't startle her. Her head turned and her eyes pinned me in place. I carefully stepped closer, my belly to the ground to show submission. She watched me with something like curiosity. She probably wasn't familiar with what I was doing but I knew it would have the same desired effect. When I was close enough to her I leaned in and licked at her muzzle before nuzzling at her. She lifted her head to allow me closer and I happily did so. We sat shoulder to shoulder now, almost as close as we could get. I wondered if Jade felt what I did. My thoughts scattered when she leaned into me as she stood. I did the same, looking to her. Her eyes met mine, ears perked.
I cocked my head questioningly but she just bounded away, stopping to bow. She wanted to play. I barked a reply and answered with my own bow. As soon as I did she took off and I chased her, barely able to nip at her tail. She was really fast. I put on a burst of speed, lunging to crash into her. She stumbled and I took the opportunity to knock her over. I jumped on her, holding her down with a bite to her scruff. This time I was going to win the scuffle. She didn't want to stay down though and struggled a bit. Eventually she calmed, panting. I lifted my head to look down at her from where I stood over her. She had been on her back with her belly to me, a sight I enjoyed, but when I let her go she rolled on her side. I scooted closer to her, dipping down to nip at her ear until she lifted her muzzle to bite me back. It was an amazing feeling, being so close to her like this. It was simple. No words to complicate things. It was just me and her. It seemed to be the first and only time we ever got along so well. I nuzzled at her to get her attention before standing up. I waited until she would follow before leading the way back into the trees.
I was hungry and I knew she would be too. I wanted to hunt with her, to further connect as only wolves could. She followed my lead effortlessly when I spotted potential prey. Even though she was a new wolf she understood every signal I gave her until we had our prey cornered. I made the killing blow but let her eat first. She licked me before tearing into our catch. When she had her share she backed away and looked to me. Only then did I dig in. She stood watch, body relaxed but senses alert. When I was done I sat next to her. She turned to look at me and I wasted no time cleaning the blood off her muzzle with care. She let me, surprising me by returning the favor. We ran together again, wrestling and chasing each other until our time was up. If only Jade let me be this close to her in our human forms. But humans were more complex with feelings that often conflicted. I was lucky enough to even share this with her. Jade looked in the direction of home. I bumped her, whining. She licked me once, an assurance, and then trotted off. I watched her go, reluctant to leave her side, but when I lost sight of her I headed home too.
Did I seriously just spend last night playing with Vega like we were two puppies? We even hunted together. It was such a rush cornering our prey, watching as Vega brought it down with fierce ease. A sense of admiration, or pride, or I don't know what the hell it was swelled within me. But I couldn't feel that way about her. It just couldn't happen. But then she let me eat first and waited until I had my fill before eating the leftovers. The small actions we exchanged seemed so inconsequential, but in reality, they meant so much. I could feel it no matter how much I didn't want to. Everything that happened between us meant something and I couldn't deny it anymore. Seeing Vega at school still made me want to keep my distance, but this time it wasn't because I didn't want her around. I did it because I wanted her around.
So much so I didn't trust myself to behave if we found ourselves alone. I wanted Vega for my own. That much I knew, but I had to understand what all of it meant first. I had to know Vega's past and be able to share my own before anything could happen. So after school I drove straight to her house to get some answers. When she opened the door she offered me a simple smile then wordlessly led me up to her room. I sat down at the foot of her bed and looked to her. She stayed silent, shutting her door before turning to me. I inhaled, taking in her scent. I had this need to roll in it. Ugh, disgusting. What was I thinking? She wandered closer but stopped feet from me, probably to give me space. She didn't look like she was going to say anything so I started.
"What happened to me?" I asked her, slightly pleading but mostly confused. Only when I embraced the wolf in me did everything seem so easy and simple, but when I was in this form I constantly second guessed everything.
"What do you mean?" she replied, a bit reserved. I sighed and held a hand to my head. What was she playing at? Did she want me to put it out there? Because I would.
"Over the weekend I was attacked. I had a fever the next day and then blacked out that night. I thought I was dreaming at first, but now I'm sure. I was a wolf. I spent nights in the woods running and hunting. I even met another wolf," I explained, studying her for any kind of reaction. She remained quiet and just listened up until I mentioned the other wolf. Only then did she look up from the floor to meet my gaze.
"I was scared at first, but with her I felt safe. I felt like I could trust her," I continued to explain. Vega's brows creased with concern, like she wanted to comfort me. I could recognize the expression as the same one that appeared when she wanted to hug me but knew I wouldn't allow it.
"And you came to me for this?" she responded, no doubt trying to gauge me first before admitting anything. Smart. I pinned her with a steady gaze and then pushed off the bed to walk over to her. I stopped as close as I dared and leaned in to graze her jaw with my nose. I breathed in and let it out slowly. I felt her shiver but held back a pleased smirk.
"You smell like her. You smell like the brown wolf I met. I thought…well, I hoped you could explain some things to me," I finally clarified, leaning away just enough to look her in the eyes. I needed her help. I would admit it to myself but I hoped she wouldn't make me voice it aloud. It was common knowledge that Vega and I didn't get along, but we connected just fine as wolves so I knew with a bit more effort that we could do the same now. I was being civil so far, after all. Vega seemed to understand and let out a sigh, nodding.
"It sounds like you were deemed worthy of carrying the spirit of a wolf. Your body wasn't used to the change so you were understandably struggling with the changes. Lucky for you I can help you," she answered, tone gentle.
"So you are the wolf I met. What do you mean I was worthy?" I inquired. She offered me a sympathetic smile and shrugged.
"Just what I mean," she replied. I huffed and crossed my arms.
"Don't get all mysterious on me now, Vega. Explain," I demanded. She rolled her eyes, something I scowled at but let slide.
"What we are takes more than a simple bite. You have to be accepting of it too. Only then can the wolf spirit intertwine with yours and live within you," she clarified.
"I didn't accept anything," I told her, thinking back on the night that changed my life.
"You must have in some way, otherwise it wouldn't have happened," she disagreed. I let out an exasperated grunt as I fell back on her bed. She carefully sat down next to me, leaning on her hand. Having her close calmed me, settling my unease.
"Tell me what happened," she coaxed, reaching over to rest her hand on mine. I opened my eyes but kept them on the ceiling, unable to meet hers just yet.
"I don't really understand it," I began. Her warm hand only squeezed mine but didn't say anything so I had no choice but to share.
"I was out in the woods to get away from home. A badly injured wolf showed up almost half dead. I wanted to help it, I just didn't know how. It let me touch it, and for a moment I felt…something. But then it attacked me. I thought for sure I would be dead, even after I got away. Waking up the next day to see fatal wounds healed like they never happened was hard to wrap my mind around," I explained, finally looking to her for answers. She nodded knowingly, eyes flicking down to our joined hands. Her thumb started to pass over mine some time ago.
"As far as I know these kinds of things are passed through the family," Tori stated, eyes lifting to mine again. My brows furrowed as I tried to understand what she meant.
"As in there are more?" I asked. She nodded.
"There are all kinds of spirit animals, though I only personally knew one. That one being my dad. He met a panther one time though," Vega said, casual, as if it was an everyday thing to say. It might be so for her, but not for me.
"Your dad is a wolf?" I questioned. A sad frown pulled at her lips.
"Was a wolf. He, um, he was injured in the line of duty. Shot in chest. He hung on long enough for us to visit him in the hospital where he passed his wolf spirit to me. He didn't want to risk losing our family heritage should he not make it, but…the exchange was too much and it killed him. He died to make sure it was passed on as it should be," she whispered, her voice cracking. I sat up, suddenly needing to comfort her. I gripped her hand in mine and leaned in to rest my forehead on the side of hers. I never knew that was how she lost her father. No wonder she never liked to talk about it.
"Whoever that wolf was must have felt that you wanted to help. They had to have seen something in you to offer up their spirit," she continued, sniffling. I felt honored now that I knew how important a decision like that was. The wolf could have died and lost it forever, but instead, it was entrusted to me.
"And I unknowingly accepted it," I mumbled.
"I never knew what happened to someone who gave up their spirit while in animal form, but it sounds like they become nothing more than a normal version of what they once were," Tori remarked thoughtfully. I pulled away with a shrug.
"It could explain why it tried to maul me right after," I agreed. She nodded.
"You carry something of great value, Jade. I know it's hard to understand and get used to at first, but I want you to know that I'll be there for you anytime you need me," Vega told me, a promise in every word she said.
"Then I'll be sure to bug you on a daily basis," I promised in return, smiling when she laughed. She playfully shoved me and I tackled her, tickling her until she ran out of breath from laughing so hard. We laid there afterwards, content to just share the silence before I decided to get going. Vega pulled me into a hug I readily accepted and gave in return before she walked me out. When I got home I sat in bed hugging my legs and resting my chin on my knees. Vega and I were friends. In a way, maybe even more than that. What a concept.
To say Jade and I suddenly became friends in these past several months would be an understatement. Not that she showed it, unless it was just us two. When we were at school or around our friends in public she wasn't as hard on me anymore. We also used our shared ability to communicate through actions instead of words. When we weren't at school or around our friends Jade was almost as affectionate as she was when we ran together as wolves. It shocked me the first time she playfully nuzzled my jaw or brushed her nose with mine, but now all it did was pull a happy smile on my face. With school during the day or hanging out with the gang and then seeing Jade almost every night there was never a time when we weren't together. I began to worry that I was being too clingy or maybe Jade would get tired of me. It was such a constant worry that I knew it was obvious in my expression. Especially today since it marked the fifth night in a row that we spent together. Jade pulled up at our usual spot near the woods and shut off the car before turning to me. She reached over and took my hand in hers.
"You ok there, Vega?" she questioned, tone light and teasing. It was rarely sharp unless she was truly upset. I hadn't seen her legendary death glare directed at me since the time I pushed her in the lake. She got me back for that one soon enough though, changing her glare into a smile complete with a laugh I couldn't get enough of.
"How come you still use my last name? Can't you use my first now that we're friends?" I replied, pouting just a bit.
"We may be friends, but that doesn't mean I'll stop calling you Vega," she answered with a shake of her head.
"Besides, I prefer it. It's like my own little nickname for you, don't you think?" Jade inquired, leaning over to whisper the words in my ear. I shivered, highly aware of how close she was. That was another thing. Sometimes Jade and I would blur the line of friendship. At those times I had to question her motives and I was sure Jade did the same when my emotions got the best of me. I couldn't help it. When it came to Jade it was very easy to let things flow naturally. Our wolves seemed to agree, whether we were human or not when the moment struck.
"Ok," I gulped, refusing to look at her. She chuckled and moved to get out. We stripped on either side of the car and then threw our clothes inside before shifting. I padded around the front of the car to join Jade who was waiting for me. As soon as I caught up she bounded away and I followed. We playfully fought and I had a feeling Jade let me win this time. We took a break before hunting and then cleaned up at the lake. I plopped down next to Jade who was already laying down. She was looking off in another direction so I rolled over to reach out and tap her muzzle with my paw. She looked over at me disapprovingly but gave me her attention anyway. I pawed at her again and she huffed out a breath yet complied, as I knew she would. She stood up to step over me then sat down so that our sides were pressed together. She then leaned down to lick at my chin, cheek, and muzzle. I loved when Jade groomed me after a hunt so I purposefully missed spots when we washed up, claiming it was always an accident.
Despite knowing the truth Jade still catered to me. When she was done I rolled back over, ready to play again, but she bit at my ear and tugged until I whimpered. Apparently she wasn't going to let me get away with my request without a little payback. I nosed at her neck but she turned away with a short and clipped growl. I knew just what she wanted. I laid on my belly, head down, and looked up at her. My ears were down and so was my tail, begging forgiveness. Jade liked begging. She pretended to ignore me before pawing at my shoulder, bolting away quickly with a bark. I jumped up, excited to play, and ran after her. We chased each other until I caught up and pounced on her, successfully holding her down all on my own. I eventually let her up and she stood in a defensive stance, a glare as I knew it. I only barked, bumped into her, and then ran off again. We returned to the car hours later. Once we were dressed Jade drove me home. We pulled up outside but I stalled the time until I had to get out.
"Tori?" Jade questioned, my name falling from her lips with such care and concern that I turned to her.
"I just…would you make fun of me if I said I don't want to leave your side yet?" I confessed, trepidation clear in my voice. She chuckled.
"Of course," she replied with certainty. I whined, figuring that she would. Her hand found mine, getting my attention.
"However, I think I'll let you off the hook this time," she continued, a warm tone to her voice. I brightened and she smiled. Her normally defensive blue-green eyes looked to me with affection. My wolf surged forward, wanting to be with hers. I could feel myself straining to get closer, but I held back. Jade might treat me better and I might have gotten to see a side of her that I knew no one had, but that didn't mean she felt the same way about me that I did about her. I held her hand tightly in mine and leaned over to brush her hair back. She reacted to my touch with a whimper that caught me off guard.
"Jade?" I whispered. It was my turn to be concerned. I pulled her into my arms and she willingly held onto me. Her nose nuzzled under my jaw in a sign of gratitude and affection before pulling away. I pressed my forehead to hers and brushed her nose with mine.
"I tried so hard to block you out, but I couldn't. You're everywhere. I don't think you know what you do to me," she murmured. I pulled back a little and our eyes met. A wave of heat passed through me and my breath hitched. I heard her breath catch as well. I felt like the Earth stopped in that moment. All my attention was on Jade. She was everything. I stared at her in awe of the strong feeling taking over me and Jade mirrored it. She was looking at me with an intensity I never saw or felt before. Her hands came up to brush over my face and then she held me in place so that her mouth could meet mine. I groaned and pressed as close to her as I could, wanting everything she could give me. My hands buried in her hair and hers smoothed over my neck and down my body until they slid around my waist. The kiss heated up with equally reciprocated eagerness until we both parted, breathing hard.
"What the hell was that?" she gasped, pulling out of my arms and putting distance between us. She brushed her hair back and then looked at me with wide eyes.
"I…I don't know. But you felt it too, right?" I asked her hesitantly. She stared at me a few seconds more before nodding.
"Yeah, it was…" she tried to explain.
"Yeah," I agreed. She let out a heavy exhale and then looked out the windshield.
"Where do we go from here? What do we do?" she asked me, uncertain. I had reason to believe that we somehow just created something between us in a way we would never truly understand. Nothing would be the same anymore.
"I don't know, but whatever happens let's stick together, alright?" I advised. She nodded and I offered her a reassuring smile. She looked lost in thought, her brows pulled down, so I leaned over and licked her cheek. She flinched and blushed, staring at me with a cross between outraged and flustered.
"What the hell, Vega!" she exclaimed.
"You don't remember the countless times you did that to me?" I asked her, referring to our time as wolves.
"Yes, but that was different. I was following my instincts," she replied, stern.
"How? I feel something for you and I'm letting you know. It really isn't any different. Don't you feel the same way?" I inquired, deciding to quit dancing around what I knew we both felt. Jade hesitated but eventually nodded.
"Then it's the same," I concluded, reaching up to gently bring her closer so I could kiss her again. She quickly reciprocated, and soon, we were lost in each other. When we finally pulled away we were both flushed. Jade smirked and licked my jaw playfully before nudging my shoulder with her own.
"So, same time tomorrow?" she asked. I nodded and she kissed me again, hot and fleeting, before pushing me away. I laughed but got out of the car. I ran into my house and shut the door, leaning against it with my eyes closed. I could still feel her on my lips and taste her on my tongue. I couldn't wait for tomorrow. Since the morning I felt like the day wouldn't move fast enough for me. Almost as soon as I woke up I was mentally trying to rush time itself. A strange coiling in my gut set me on edge until I caught sight of Jade. Then it just doubled. By the time we pulled up outside the woods I couldn't keep my hands to myself. Jade shut off the car and instantly turned on me, a hand in my hair and the other sliding up my thigh. I moaned into her mouth and she pulled away to drop kisses down my neck.
"Let's go," she urged, after a nip to my shoulder. I could feel it too. That overwhelming need to be running wild and free together. I followed her into the trees as soon as we shed our clothes and shifted. We took long strides, winding deeper and deeper into the woods, our howls answering each other. We only stopped when Jade skid to a stop in the dirt next to me, her impressive form drawing me forward to rub against her. I licked at her and she nipped at my ear with a playful growl. I pulled away but she tackled me, holding me down. I wiggled and squirmed until I was free and then jumped at her. She dodged and circled me only to push me over again. She grabbed at my neck and I whined, upset I couldn't catch her. She laid down next to me and I took advantage to push her over. Whether she let me or not didn't matter because now I had her ear in my teeth and I tugged on it a little to get her riled up. She snapped at me and shoved me away into the dirt. She then took off again and I was hot on her heels.
We played tag and shoved each other all the way back to the lake where we first met. I barked and snapped at her and she barked back in response. She stopped at the shore but I didn't, colliding into her until we toppled into the water. She pulled herself up, soaking wet, and shook water from her fur. I stood up, panting heavily but happy. Jade suddenly shifted back into her human form. She sat in the shallow water, pale skin glowing and water droplets running down her body. I shifted effortlessly and walked over to sit next to her. She was looking away, a blush on her face, but I made her look at me. I watched her eyes dart over my body and darken with desire. I briefly wondered if it was her wolf lusting mine or her own desire for me, but I didn't care. I simply responded. I crashed my lips on hers and shoved her to the ground, sending water arcing around us. My body tangled with hers, my hands and mouth exploring.
She gave back just as much as I gave her. We let the passion between us run its course. I had never felt anything like the sensations running through me now. I felt complete. I couldn't help marking her as mine with bites, but neither could she. I would never forget sharing such a beautiful moment with Jade. When we were ready to relax we relocated to the grass and just held each other. Jade was incredibly affectionate, her hands caressing me every so often, her lips gracing my neck. I smiled and drew her in to kiss her again, slowly this time. She smiled at me and then slipped from my arms to get to her feet. She helped me up and we wordlessly backtracked to the car. We were in agreement that our energy was spent for the night. Jade drove us to my house, pulling up in the driveway. I turned to her.
"I'll see you tomorrow?" I asked, holding her hands in mine. She leaned in to kiss my neck then my cheek before pulling away.
"Yes, and the day after that, and the day after that, until you get tired of me," she replied, smirking pleasantly. I shook my head.
"Impossible," I told her with conviction. I kissed her one last time, soft and sweet, then let her go to get out. I watched her drive away down the street and only went inside when I couldn't see her car anymore. When I first accepted the wolf spirit I wasn't sure I could live peacefully with it, but for the first time since then, I felt like I was finally ready to fully accept it now that I had someone to share it with.