Still With Him
Disclaimer: I don't own Glee (no matter how much I wish I did)
Note: Missing scene from 'On My Way'
The Hudmel family was sitting at the dining room table eating in silence. They all kept glancing at Kurt in concern. He hadn't touched his food, just played with it.
"Kurt, sweetie, do you want me to wrap that up for you and you can go lie down for a bit?" Carole asked Kurt and he looked up at her.
"Um, can I just go lie on the couch?" he asked her.
"Of course sweetheart, go on," she said and Kurt stood. He walked into the living room and lied down on the couch in the dark. The other three finished quickly, none of them, even Finn, overly hungry. Burt walked past the couch and went to sit in his chair when a small voice stopped him.
"Dad," Kurt said quietly and Burt turned around. Kurt was sitting up slightly, looking up hopefully at Burt. Burt smiled and sat down next to his son, who immediately curled into his side. Carole and Finn each sat down in a chair and they turned on the TV. Kurt buried his face in his father's shirt and at first Burt thought that Kurt had fallen asleep. However, he soon realized he was wrong when he felt his son's shoulders shaking and hot tears soaking through his shirt.
"Kurt?" Burt asked concerned and Finn and Carole looked at the boy, "Buddy, what's wrong?" Kurt didn't answer his father's question; instead he just gripped his dad's shirt tighter and continued to cry.
"Shh, buddy, it's okay," Burt whispered as he rubbed slow circles on Kurt's back. Carole stood and walked out of the room, returning a minute later with a glass of water. She sat on the table, glass in hand, and ran her hand gently through Kurt's hair.
"Take deep breathes sweetie," she said quietly. It was a few minutes before Kurt calmed down and Burt and Carole kept up their mantra to help him.
"I thought about it," he said so quietly his family almost didn't hear him.
"You thought about it?" Finn asked confused, "Thought about what?"
"Suicide," Kurt said and his family froze, "Last year, I thought about it." He turned his head so his cheek was resting against his father's chest, but he could see his family. They had shocked looks on their faces and his dad's face had gone deathly white.
"I'm sorry," Kurt said, "I'm sorry, I don't know why I said that." He went to stand, but his dad held him tighter and wouldn't let him move.
"Why didn't you tell me?" Burt asked, "Why didn't you tell me it got that bad?"
"I didn't know how," Kurt said, "But dad, it was fine –"
"How was it 'fine' Kurt? Hmm? How is the fact that you thought about killing yourself fine in any way?" Burt had gotten to his feet and was staring at his son.
"Dad, I don't feel like that anymore," Kurt said, "It just got really bad at one point last year."
"What changed?" Finn asked his brother.
"I… I went to spy at Dalton," Kurt said quietly.
"You met Blaine," Carole said, realization dawning on her face.
"He saved me," Kurt said, "I had someone to talk to. Someone who had dealt with the same stuff. He was there right when I needed him and he's been with me ever since." Carole smiled at her stepson, but Burt was fuming.
"So you'll talk to your boyfriend, but not us?" He said angrily.
"Dad I talk to him about everything," Kurt said.
"We are your family Kurt!" Burt shouted and Kurt leaned back into the couch. No matter how old he was, he hated it when his dad yelled at him.
"What is so different between telling Blaine and telling us?" Burt continued.
"He just, he gets it dad. He gets me, he understood what I was dealing with," Kurt said, trying to make his dad understand.
"Oh and we don't? We don't 'get you' Kurt?" Burt said angrily.
"Not like he does," Kurt said.
"Really? Not like Blaine?" Burt shouted, "Well then maybe you shouldn't spend so much time with him anymore so that we, your family, can 'understand you better'."
"What? Dad, no!" Kurt said, getting upset, "You can't stop me from seeing him!"
"Actually Kurt, I can. From now on you go to school and then you come home. I'm not trying to punish you Kurt, but something needs to be done if you think you can't talk to us" Burt said. Kurt gaped at his father as tears slowly made tracks down his cheeks.
"Burt, why don't you go get a drink and cool off?" Carole suggested. Burt nodded and followed his wife's orders.
"Kurt, honey?" Carole said gently as soon as Burt was out of the room. Kurt looked at her, trying to hold back his tears.
"M-Mom," he gasped, looking up at her. Carole's heart broke, both at the look on his face and the way he addressed her.
"Come here sweetheart," she said and pulled the boy into her arms. He started sobbing and grabbed the front of her shirt.
"He – he can't go this!" Kurt cried, "He can't punish me for this and he can't stop me seeing Blaine!"
"Shh, it's okay sweetie. I promise you he won't stop you from seeing Blaine, okay? His punishment for you won't stand; I won't let that happen, okay? He's not actually mad at you, he's scared. He's scared he's going to lose you, and while we both know that's not about happen, it still scares him." Kurt nodded in understanding, but kept crying. Finn walked over to his brother and held the phone out to him. Kurt looked at him confused.
"You said it makes you feel better when you talk to Blaine, so…" Finn said.
"I – I can't," Kurt said sadly, turning his head toward the kitchen, "He'll get mad at me."
"Don't worry about your dad, okay?" Carole said, "You call Blaine and I'll deal with your dad."
"Okay," Kurt said, "Um, mom?" She heard the hesitance in his voice and smiled at him, trying to reassure him that she was fine with the new title.
"Yes sweetheart?"
"Um, is it bad that Blaine is the one I go to about stuff? Like, is it wrong that I go to him when I'm upset?" Carole could hear the worry in the boy's voice. This was his first relationship and there already so many new things to discover and be aware of. Kurt really didn't need anymore worried or doubts put in his head.
"No sweetheart, it's not bad or wrong," she said as she sat down next to him, "You love him, and when you love someone you tell them things like that. You tell them when you're upset because they know exactly how to fix it. When I have a bad day all I want to do is come home and tell your dad. It's how relationships work Love, and your dad isn't going to take that away from you." Kurt nodded and then leaned over to hug her tightly.
"Okay," she said, pulling away, "I'll go deal with your dad while you call Blaine." He nodded and wiped his eyes before dialing the familiar number and heading upstairs. Carole walked into the kitchen to find Burt leaning against the sink. He looked up at her when she entered the room and all she could see in his eyes was guilt and regret.
"I overreacted, didn't I?" he asked.
"Yes you did, very much so," she told him and Burt sighed.
"I should do talk to him," he said and went to head upstairs.
"Ah, not yet," she said, "He was really upset so I told him to go ahead an call Blaine." Burt just nodded and Carole knew he hadn't meant anything he'd said. He'd seen how happy his son had been lately and knew Blaine was the cause of this. Burt would never take that away from him. Burt and Carole talked for another ten minutes before Burt decided to head upstairs. He could hear Kurt talking quietly when he knocked on the door. His voice paused for a moment while he got off the bed to open the door.
"Oh, um, Blaine, I'll call you later," Kurt said gently, "Yeah, everything's fine." Kurt walked over and sat down on his bed again. Burt followed him slowly, watching his son carefully.
"I love you too," Kurt said, a contented smile on his face as he hung up. There was silence for a few minutes before Burt finally spoke.
"I would never stop you from seeing him kiddo," Burt said quietly, "I was angry, not at you, but at the guys who made you feel like that, and I never should have said that to you Kurt. I'm sorry."
"I don't want you to be mad at me," Kurt said quietly, "I know I should have told you, I just didn't know how."
"I know buddy, I know you didn't know how," Burt said as he sat down next to his son, "I never should have gotten mad at you." Kurt still wasn't looking so Burt gently placed his hand on Kurt's shoulder. Kurt looked at his dad and Burt saw that there were tears in his eyes.
"I'm sorry dad," he choked, "I'm so sorry."
"Shh, don't you ever apologize for any of this, okay?" Burt pulled Kurt into his arms, "You have done nothing wrong, you understand? Absolutely nothing." Kurt nodded slowly and Burt held his son tighter.
He knew there would be more to discuss; a lot more to discuss. But for now, he just wanted to hold his son and know that he was still with him.
Alright, so I wasn't too sure about this one. I wrote it really early in the morning and as I was typing it I was going 'I'm not sure what people are going to think'
So please, let me know, thanks! *insert smiley face here*