Title: Stages of Getting Over Kurt Hummel
Author: Atolia
Word Count:
Rating: T
Pairings: Blaine/Kurt, Blaine/OMC (multiple), Blaine/Warblers (platonic)
Warnings: Minor spoilers for "The Breakup" included
Summary: After they break up in New York, Blaine figures out a way to move on with his life. A new year brings new friends, new journeys and maybe a new love.
Chapter 1: The Break Up
Blaine means to take it back when he goes to New York. He knows Kurt expects it as they sit next to Finn and Rachel in a fancy restaurant. But Blaine realizes with a sinking feeling, that he doesn't belong here. New York, which has been their dream for so long, is not the city for him. Sure, he likes the freedom he has to hold Kurt's hand in public, but he hates the constant rush of the city and endless steel structures that make him feel tiny and insignificant. This isn't the first time Blaine's been to the city, (his father owns an apartment in the city that Blaine visits every now and then just to escape the humdrum of Ohio), but this is the first time Blaine feels just as trapped in the city as he does in the corridors of McKinley.
It's Kurt that suggests the walk in Battery Park, and it's private enough to suit Blaine's purposes. He knows that Kurt expects them both to apologize for their mistakes on this walk and promise to try harder until they can be together again. But Blaine finally realizes that he will never be happy living in this city. The city that is the completion of Kurt's dreams. He finally understands why most high school sweethearts don't make it. It isn't the love, because he loves Kurt just as much as he always has. His heart aches just looking at Kurt looking so perfect under the streetlamps. No, it isn't the love. It's the dreams. And as much as Blaine wants to forget them, to force himself to be happy here with Kurt, he knows he will never succeed. This isn't his place.
"Blaine?" Kurt asks.
Blaine hadn't realized he'd stopped walking.
"Blaine, I know you're mad. I'm sorry, baby. I promise I'll do better to make our Skype dates. The internship is just a little crazy now. It'll settle out."
It would be so easy to just nod, and say his own apologies and not say anything about it at all. So easy to just go back to pretending that everything is fine. But Blaine doesn't want to drag this on further. Doesn't want to wind up resenting Kurt. Doesn't want to wind up hating him.
"I think we should break up," he blurts.
Kurt's eyes widen. "No! It's just a rough patch, Blaine. We can work this out, okay? It's just a few more months, and we'll be together again."
Blaine takes a deep breath and confesses, "I'm not coming to New York, Kurt." And Kurt says nothing, just gapes at him. "It's not here, Kurt. I'm not meant to be here." And he knows Kurt understands what he means by the broken look in his eyes. "I still love you-."
"Stop! Just stop!"
And Kurt turns on his heel and walks quickly away. Blaine calls after him, but Kurt doesn't stop, and he doesn't look back. Part of Blaine wants to go after Kurt, and keep explaining, to tell Kurt that he wishes with all his heart he could love the city too. A larger part of him knows that this isn't the time, and he will only hurt Kurt more. So he turns away and walks back the way they came, tracing his own footprints on the ground. Kurt will undoubtedly call Rachel, who will make sure he gets home safely. Blaine fingers the key to his father's apartment. He'd brought it in case he and Kurt had wanted some privacy after they'd talked about their fight. Now, he thinks, he just wants to be alone. So he calls Finn and unsurprisingly gets his voicemail.
"Hey, Finn, it's Blaine," he says, trying to sound as cheerful as possible. "I'm going to stay at my dad's apartment tonight. I'll see you tomorrow for our flight back home. Bye."
He exits the park and hails a cab. Going back to the apartment is an out of body experience. Blaine thinks his heart should be crushing itself, but instead he feels strangely free. He knows he'll feel much worse in the morning, but for now, he relishes the relief of finally getting a secret off his chest. The doorman knows Blaine from his previous trips, and this isn't the first time he's shown up here alone, so he has no problem getting buzzed into the building. He goes up to the penthouse and collapses on the queen sized bed in the guest room. Blaine glances out the window at the bright city lights. Somewhere out there is Kurt, and Blaine knows he's hurting right now, but Kurt is tough, and he'll find someone who can share his dreams in the city. Blaine turns back to look at the ceiling and lets out a lungful of air he didn't know he was holding.
A/N: Short first chapter. They'll get longer as I go. More information about the Klaine breakup to follow in later chapters.