Chapter 1

A Roll of the Dice

Sakura huddled in the underbrush, muscles tensed in anticipation. Yet again she tried to force herself to relax so as to remain limber. She pressed her earpiece firmly into its canal, verifying that she wouldn't miss an order – if one came. Being assigned to a backup team on her first mission wasn't as glamorous a role as she'd hoped for, but as the team's medic, she couldn't complain.

"At least it's S-ranked..." She mused contentedly to herself.

Things could be less glamorous.

Suddenly her earpiece crackled to life in the darkness, and a less than comforting sound penetrated her eardrum, causing her to freeze instantly with trepidation.

"Team 2 – formation C – back... up..." The last words were just a gurgle over the radio. Sakura's next inhalation was sharp with worry and more than a little fear, but she leapt ahead, hoping desperately that her team was doing damage control ahead of her. As the medic, it was her responsibility to administer first aid to the survivors of team 1, and it was her team's responsibility to ensure her safety. Sakura heard the clash of metal on metal in the trees just after she saw the sparks fly. The sounds were followed by a curse.

"Summon team 3 – repeat, summon team 3. There's more company than expected." Her commander's voice called over the radio. Sakura looked around haphazardly; suddenly the sounds of battle surrounded her. Her hand flew to the scroll at her hip and she sent a pulse of chakra through it back to Konoha, alerting HQ of their predicament. Immediately afterward, she took up arms and dashed toward the first commander's last known position.

"No time to panic. We're here to save lives." Inner Sakura admonished. Even so, Sakura's hands were already glowing green over an injured nin's chest.

But it wasn't long before everything went black.

Sai's eyes scanned the forest floor, assessing the damage. The targets had long since vacated the scene. All that remained were the still bodies of his comrades. Sai's expression didn't change as he knelt, but his stomach flipped as he reached toward Sakura's pink locks. Gently, he wove his fingers through her damp, bloodstained hair, pressing his fingertips lightly to her throat. His breath caught slightly in response to his discovery, and with new hope he hurried to check the ANBU under her for a pulse.

"Yamato taichou..." He breathed. Silently, Sai made a signal to the medic on his team. They'd stabilize the two survivors and bring the fallen home.

It was their duty, after all.

Sakura stared tiredly at the backs of her eyelids, unable to move, brain foggy and confused. The shallow sound of her own rapid breathing was deafening. Her fingertips tingled, yet she could not move them. She tried to open her eyes with a vain, half-hearted effort. Suddenly she felt so fatigued... As she drifted off, the last thing she heard was less than encouraging, a sordid whisper in the darkness...

"She'd have been better off dead with the rest of them..."

"Dead? ..."

There was no opportunity to decipher the stranger's commentary. There was only the darkness.

Painless, quiet darkness.

Gradually, the blackness in her mind gave way to a deep, pulsing redness... a painful redness. Sakura scrunched her eyes in an effort to escape the light but as her level of consciousness increased so did the pain in her head. She released a dry, stifled groan into the oxygen mask that covered her face, then immediately she attempted to remove the obstruction. She found that as she tried to reach her face, someone stopped her, and she struggled against her captor, grunting at the person who dared restrain her. Sakura's eyes flew open and she was assailed with an intense brightness that nearly blinded her. She blinked slowly against the light, once, twice, and the hands around her wrists released her just as slowly.

"Sakura? Sakura-chan?"

The words reached her as though her head were submerged in water.

Sakura stared at the ceiling and didn't respond.

"I've been here before... this place..."

"This building... so... sterile... Doctors – nurses..." Her breathing was erratic as she panicked, searching for the right word.

"Hospital." A shadow invaded her line of sight, alleviating some of the pain caused by the brightness surrounding her. The weight of her companion's hand rested, comforting, on her shoulder.

"Naruto." She responded as her eyes adjusted and she recognized his whiskered face.

The blonde broke into a wide grin. "I'm glad you remember me, Sakura. You had us all really worried..." Though his expression radiated joy, his tone betrayed his concern. "You got hit on the head pretty bad..."

Sakura stared blankly at her old friend for a few moments, and the pain in her head began to throb, dully at first, then sharper. She gripped his wrist weakly as the nightmare played before her eyes again; the dark woods, the crackle of her earpiece, the faint glow of her chakra on Yamato-taichou's chest. Her ears rang in the relative silence as she tried to remember the events that led to her loss of consciousness.

"Dead." She whispered, and Naruto's smiling face fell slightly.

"What?"

"Dead! Everyone is dead!" She cried out suddenly, agitated. Sakura tried to get up, she had to find them, to prove herself wrong! But the pain in her head, the pain she had temporarily forgotten, seemed to double. Sakura realized that her neck pained her as well.

"Sakura, calm down! You shouldn't move!" Naruto's free hand flew to her other shoulder in an attempt to hold her still.

"Rrgh! What... what hurts so much?" Sakura slurred over the rapid beeping of the heart monitor that suddenly seemed to dominate the room.

"You were hurt really badly on that last mission..." Naruto reiterated. At that moment a nurse stormed into the room, clipboard in hand.

"Step away from the patient!" She barked at Naruto, who stepped away from Sakura slowly. Overwhelmed, the injured kunoichi slumped back onto her pillow limply, staring at the ceiling again. "You should have called a nurse up the instant she woke up!" The brunette admonished as she took Sakura's vitals. "You suffered severe trauma to the cranium. Your neck is stiff because your spinal cord is inflamed." The nurse held Sakura's eyes open as she shone a penlight into them and the pinkette groaned weakly in pain, screwing her eyes shut after the ordeal. "It looks like the worst has passed. But Tsunade-sama will be by this afternoon to evaluate your condition." Sakura lay still, eyes still screwed tightly shut. The nurse stared at Sakura for a few more moments as though waiting for a response, but Sakura ignored her. Finally the callous woman turned on her heel and left. Naruto returned to his friend's side.

"Sakura..." He placed a hand on her bed.

"I don't understand. I don't understand how … it happened... Two teams. There weren't that many of them. Were there more? I didn't see them all... Maybe I wasn't paying attention... I should have. Formation C – medics don't fight in formation C. Should I have fought... instead of healing? I don't understand." Sakura slurred rapidly.

"Shh..." Naruto squeezed her hand, understanding only half of what Sakura said. He tried not to, but he couldn't help it. Naruto looked on her in pity. The nurses had warned him of the side effects that Sakura might suffer from her injury. Muscle weakness, difficulty speaking, confusion, agitation, pain, inability to process emotion. Classic symptoms of severe trauma to the head, they had explained. Worst case, she might remain comatose for a long time, or forget that he had even existed. Naruto released a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding, and he forced himself to smile as he gave her hand one last squeeze before leaving the room.

At least... at least she remembered him. At least she was awake.

Naruto shoved his hands deep into his pockets as he left the hospital in search of the one person he knew would be able to help Sakura. If he couldn't help, then no one could.

Meanwhile, Sakura replayed the events of the night of her mission over and over in her head. She could find no flaw in her performance, yet she couldn't help but feel that there must have been something more she could have done.

"I feel so useless. I couldn't even finish stabilizing Yamato-taichou before..." Sakura fought the urge to cry. "I'm already as weak as can be here... the last thing I need to start with is that."

Gradually the sky began to glow a deeper gold as the sun dipped further toward the horizon, and soon enough Sakura heard the familiar clack of Tsunade's heels on the linoleum. Slowly Sakura turned her head toward the door in anticipation of her Shishou's arrival, and the Hokage didn't disappoint her. Tsunade entered the room quietly and gently placed a hand on Sakura's forehead, sending a cool wave of chakra into the girl's brain both to assess and soothe. Sakura closed her eyes and sighed with relief as her teacher's familiar chakra wiped away the pain. She felt pitiful for accepting the help, yet she was beyond pride. With a faint smile, Tsunade soon pulled her hand away.

"I knew you'd make it." She smirked at Sakura, who couldn't bring herself to smile back.

"And the others?" She tried hard to speak clearly, but Tsunade noted the effort, and duly noted the pinkette's poor results. Sakura watched as her teacher's eyes lost their hard glint and Sakura's stomach twisted in fear.

"Yamato made it."

That the others hadn't went without saying. Sakura struggled to maintain her demeanor. She looked away slowly, toward the window.

"It's my fault." She whispered. "I should have saved them."

Tsunade shook her head. "You didn't stand a chance. None of you did. I'm lucky the two of you came back." "I shouldn't have sent you."

"If I had been on Team 3..."

"Then everyone would have died. If it hadn't been for you, Yamato wouldn't have survived."

"Oh."

Sakura's brow creased lightly in her confusion. "Right, I was working on Yamato..."

Tsunade sighed. "You are already doing better, but..." She bit her lip and continued. "Your recovery will take... time. But I am confident you will make a full recovery."

Sakura sighed. "You sound … determined."

"Because I know what you're capable of. You'll be back on the field within the year."

Sakura's eyes widened slightly. "A year... a whole year?" Sakura pushed down the panic that welled in her chest but her breaths came sharper.

A tense silence filled the room.

Slowly, Sakura composed herself. "Yes, Tsunade-sama."

Tsunade looked on her student with pride and smiled wryly. "I knew you'd pull through." She turned from the girl and walked toward the door.

"Oh – your therapy will start soon. Give it your all." Sakura could hear the hope and confidence in her Shishou's voice, but she didn't feel it. Yet she responded accordingly.

"Hai."

The word felt empty, not at all like she was trying, just as though she were merely agreeing.

The door slid shut quietly behind Tsunade and Sakura was left alone with her thoughts again.

Kakashi's eyes scanned his book without really reading and he turned another page, all while walking toward his apartment. A nagging voice reminded him where he should be headed, reminded him of the promise he had made Naruto.

"I never said that I'd go today."

He turned another page and walked a few more steps, feeling just a little guilty.

"Hm." He pulled the key to his apartment from his pouch. "I'll visit her soon." He promised himself, while excusing himself from duty for that day. "Soon." He told himself as he stepped lightly up the stairs to his apartment.

"Soon."

A/N: I know it's a short chapter to start with, but I wanted to get the ball rolling. I'll try to post weekly, bi-weekly at worst. Review, comment, rant, etc. I want to hear it :D I'll leave you alone. But I hope it's a stronger beginning than my other stories had. I feel like I'm so bad at "chapter 1's" LOL. :D Love u guys!