Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.
Author's Note: Well, my muse has been wanting some angst for a long time now and when I finally give in, this is what he decides we need to write. I'm still not very happy with him about this but I still like it. Even if it is so angsty it almost made me cry while I wrote it.
Read, review, and please enjoy!
Note: Sasuke is about mid forties in this story.
Sasuke stood in the doorway, a yellowing piece of paper crumpled in his clinched fist. He scanned the dark foyer, willing his body to move, to take that first step inside. He took a deep breath, dust making him sneeze softly, and stepped across the threshold.
Dust bunnies floated in the air, old wallpaper curled and hung in ripped pieces from neglect. He left footprints in the dust covering the floor boards as he slowly made his way into the living room. The house was empty, had been for years now, but Sasuke still couldn't bring himself to sell the old place. He didn't think he ever would.
Sunlight filtered through the windows, illuminating the gloomy rooms as Sasuke slowly made his way through them. Every room held memories, things he would never forget, things he sometimes wished he could and things he held dear to his heart. The bedroom where they'd slept together for almost eight years, the small breakfast nook where Shikamaru had grumbled and complained about having to get up early, the living room where they'd spent late night watching movies and relaxing after tiring days of work.
Sasuke leaned against the old kitchen counter with a sigh, fingers smoothing over the worn piece of paper. Sometimes, late at night, he still woke up thinking Shikamaru would be there beside him, sprawled across the Uchiha in slumber. But the bed was empty now, had been longer than Sasuke cared to recall some days.
He knew better than most that life was short. He'd been alone so long now, he didn't know how to be anything else. He'd lost his parents when he was five to a house five, lost his brother when he was sixteen, lost his last living relative, his uncle, at twenty-seven and then the one person he'd wanted to spend forever had been taken too.
Sasuke closed his eyes and let the memories wash over him. Naruto had introduced them back in Sasuke's first year of college. He'd hated the Nara at first, the teen was just so uncaring and easy going while Sasuke was nothing of the sort. But as he got to know Shikamaru, Sasuke had envied him and how carefree he was. The Uchiha wished he could be so carefree. But being the head of his family's company at only eighteen left little room for a carefree life.
As they got to know each other, Sasuke was drawn to the way the Nara lived his life, but not only did Sasuke love the man's personality he loved how smart he was. Shikamaru's intelligence rivaled his own and that stirred something in the Uchiha that he'd never known. Not long after they first met, Sasuke asked the Nara out. Sasuke had never been one to waste time. He'd know what he'd wanted and so he aimed for it. Shikamaru agreed and Sasuke had found himself in a relationship that spanned over ten years.
Shikamaru had kept the Uchiha on his toes, been there through his uncle's death, through college and into the hard years of heading a corporation afterwards. They lived and loved, fought and broke up, but no matter how many times Shikamaru had walked out that front door, Sasuke went after him, or the Nara was back in that doorway, annoyed grimace on his face.
Sasuke could still remember the sound of his voice, that lazy tone that had somehow annoyed the Uchiha even as he loved it. He remembered the feeling of the Nara's body pressed against his own, the hot fan of breath against his lips, the way his lover moved against him unashamedly. Sasuke could remember the yelling the screaming, the words neither of them really meant, the apologies, nights spent making up...There wasn't a single second of their time together the Uchiha didn't remember and every single one of those memories broke his still aching heart.
Ten years. Ten years since Shikamaru had gone for a morning run. Ten years since Sasuke had woken up to that phone call. Sasuke didn't think he'd ever despised humanity more than he had that morning. The man who'd been rushing to work, talking on his phone, had apologized more times than the Uchiha could count. But he didn't want an apology. He wanted Shikamaru back. He' wanted his best friend, his lover, not words that meant nothing and could never bring the Nara back.
Sasuke gently opened the little note, thumb smoothing the creases from the paper. He traced the Nara's neat script with shaking fingers. He stared at the note for a long moment before folding it neatly once again and tucked it into his pocket.
He pushed himself off the old counter with a shaky sigh. Taking one last longing look around him, Sasuke shuffled his way out of the kitchen. He traced a finger along the hallway wall, uncaring that he stirred up dust. Sasuke glanced over his shoulder as he opened the front door, tears threatening to brim over. He smiled sadly at the empty house before shutting the door with a soft click behind him.
"By the way
You left without saying
Goodbye to me
Now that you're gone away
All I can think about is
You and me"
- "By The Way" Theory of a Deadman
Author's Notes: Well, I'm going to go write some fluffy stuffs. I hope you guys enjoyed it. Thank you for reading!