I've gotten bored…so I decided to try to write a humor/parody thing of sorts. This is all about Gaara and his adventures working in a Starbucks that is inside a Safeway. Just to clear a few things up, Gaara is nineteen and taking a year off before college because he needs money and can't afford to go to college at the moment. Naruto is only seventeen and Neji is twenty-two. Sasuke is going to be eighteen and a senior in high school that he attends with Naruto. Oh most importantly Gaara is asexual but there will be some action between him and someone (Neji) because that someone (Neji) likes him. I hope this will make it more clear for you to understand my story as you read. Please enjoy!

Warning: Language, shonen-ai, and Gaara's personality

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, Starbucks, or Safeway.

IMPORTANT: I in no way am trying to offend people with my story. If anything in this offends you I'm sorry. This was made for humor only and none of this is really very serious. It's all just for a good laugh. So please don't review saying how rude I am or something. It will not be appreciated or tolerated since I gave you fair warning. If you have a problem with my story at all just hit the back button and forget about it. Sorry if that sounded rude I just wanted to get a point across.

Beta-ed by Red Deep (Please go read her stories! I love them and I'm sure you will too!) And special thanks to Rayne who helped me think of the title for this! Sorry Rayne I forgot what your pen name was so I just wrote your name.

Chapter 1

"I hate this job," A red head mumbled banging his head on the counter top of the small booth he worked in. His blonde co-worker gave him a questioning look before voicing his question aloud.

"Are you okay Gaara?" The boy asked.

"Do I look okay?"

"Not really…"

"There's your answer… now go die," Gaara muttered standing up and looking around the store they were in. He really hated his job; the only reason he was still working there was because he needed the money and hadn't been fired yet.

"Why are you so mean?" The blond boy whined frowning deeply, although it looked far more like a pout than a frown.

"Because God hates you," Gaara replied glaring at the boy. He really didn't like his co-worker Naruto all that much either.

"That doesn't explain why you're mean!" He said indignantly pointing an accusing finger at the slightly taller boy.

"Yes it does. You just haven't realized it yet," Gaara explained watching a little girl pull on her mother's arm screaming about wanting ice cream.

"Why are you like this?" Naruto complained sighing loudly as he glanced around the store.

"Because God hates me too."

With his green eyes still watching the mother and daughter he didn't notice the little boy walking up alone to the booth until he began speaking.

"I want hot chocolate!" The boy yelled stomping his foot.

"Do you have any money?" Gaara said with a sigh.

"No! Just give me my hot chocolate!" Gaara was now thoroughly irritated and decided to take it out on the little boy.

"You know what?"

"What?" The boy asked confused.

"God raped you last night…" He paused adding effect. "And you enjoyed it!"

"GAARA! Don't say that to little kids!" Naruto yelled. "And what do you have against God anyway? I thought you were atheist."

"I can say whatever the hell I want and yes I'm atheist but I can still use God against people who do believe in him." Gaara said glaring at Naruto as the little boy ran off to go find his parents.

"No you can't! You might have mentally scarred that child!" Naruto yelled back.

"Watching television can scar a child! I am doing any worse than what society does!"

"Don't blame society for your own problems!"

"Society is what lets people classify themselves into groups and hate others purely based on who they are grouped in with! Society is fucked up!" Gaara silently cursed under his breathe as a passing lady walked by gasping at his language.

"Excuse me but what did you just say?" The lady questioned. Her hair was tied in a loose bun and pajama pants and a sweatshirt covered her body.

"I don't need to take crap from a woman who can't even dress properly before going into public."

"You asshole! How dare you say that to a customer!" She replied hotly.

"You didn't buy anything so technically you aren't a customer." Gaara remarked dryly, he seriously didn't need to deal with anything else today and yet things kept happening.

"I am going to speak to a manager here and complain!" The lady said as she started to briskly walk off.

"Just so you know I'm the manager for the Starbucks here!" Gaara called after her.

"What is your problem?" Naruto questioned his eyes wide in shock at Gaara's behavior.

"You know what? You should really not work the same hours as me. I'd appreciate it if you'd pick different ones next time."

"I can't! I have school!" Naruto exclaimed.

"They let anyone in these days don't they?" Gaara said laughing to himself. Naruto turned red in anger, as he fumed silently not liking being made fun of.

"I'm going on my break," Naruto stated walking out of the booth.

"Finally! Now maybe I can actually hear myself think without constant chatter," Gaara said smirking at the blonde's obvious anger. He decided that if he could enjoy torturing the poor boy all day then maybe he wouldn't mind working with him as much.

Hearing that just made the other boy walk away slightly faster. Now with the boy gone, Gaara got out his book and began reading but as soon as he started, a costumer walked up to him. He sighed as he put his book down and looked up at the man before him.

"What do you want?" Gaara questioned grabbing a notepad and pen readying himself to write down whatever the man said.

"Hmm…Grande Carmel Frappucino," The brunette said placing the necessary bills on the counter as Gaara took them and placed them in the cash register before giving the pale man his change. "You can go wait over there while I make it." Gaara pointed to the edge of the booth and the tall man silently walked over to it.

After feeling the man's gaze, Gaara questioned, "Can you stop staring at me?"

"No," The man replied still looking at Gaara.

"Here you go,"Gaara said handing him his drink as soon as he finished making it. He was just glad to be rid of the creepy man; his stare was unnerving in a way.

"Thank you," Was the polite reply as the man walked off leaving the store.

Once again it was peaceful in the small Starbucks booth and at times like this Gaara had to wonder why he worked in a Starbucks located in a Safeway.

"Hey Gaara!" A blonde girl with her hair put into four pigtails called out waving at him as she walked by.

That was when he remembered that it was his sister, Temari, who had in fact gotten him this job. She worked in the Safeway. It turns out her current boyfriend was in charge of hiring people but found it too 'troublesome' to do it himself and left it up to her, which all in all wasn't such a great idea.

"Hey," Gaara mumbled knowing his sister would get angry if he didn't reply, then went back to thinking about his job.

Although, it had a decent wage and was close to his apartment so he really didn't mind the job at all. His previous jobs were just as bad, but usually involved more grease or more thought. Working at a retail store required too much 'teamwork' and fast food places reeked of grease, neither very pleasant for him to have to deal with. So this job was slightly better than the other two.

"Coffee black," A woman said walking up to him.

"Thank you for making my job so much easier," Gaara said taking her money and giving her back the change. He then poured some coffee into the right sized cup before handing it to her.

"Thank you," She said quickly before rushing off. Thinking about it she was probably the last costumer for the morning and he'd have it easy until lunchtime when people decided to have Starbucks with their food.

He grabbed his book once more and began reading, offering a simple hand gesture to Naruto to show he knew he had returned when the blonde boy came back. This time the blonde didn't speak and his face was an odd shade of pink, but he chose not to ask. He'd learned over the years that many things were better left unsaid.

So the two worked, more like stood around, for the next few hours of their shift helping any costumers that came in a calm and peaceful silence. Gaara thought that maybe he'd finally be lucky and get to leave work on time because no problems had arisen, oh but how wrong he was.

Life never was easy for him.

To be continued… that is if anyone likes it.

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