I was there with every intention to tell her the truth. For weeks I had been playing this charade; playing the character of Lance in order to get information out of her. However, it had started to take a toll.

I could tell I was starting to forget about my assignment when I cooked Chinese food at her apartment for the first time. We were standing in the kitchen, side by side at the sink while I was peeling onions. I could smell past stinging scent to find the smell of her perfume. Lavender. She looked up at me and noticed that I was staring at her hair. She smiled faintly at me when I caught her eye and I quickly turned away. If I was being myself now, she would have blushed however, she thought I was Lance. Her gay gossip pal and a part of me hated that.

Of course, that's where it started; with that night. Now every time I see her at an AA meeting I get a fluttering feeling in my chest; only for a moment. Until she smiles at me and calls me by my characters name. Lance. I've come to despise that name more than the people I was assigned to catch in the first place. Because Lance gets to be close to her and I don't.

Every time I was with her it only made it harder not to reach out and touch her.

So, here I am. Outside of her apartment; number 236. We didn't make plans to cook a cultured meal but I decided that tonight I was going to put my cards on the table. Most of them anyway. I can't imagine what she would do if I just walked in and said, 'Hey Sara, by the way my name is not Lance. I'm not an addict. I work for the government, and I'm actually using you to get to Michael and Lincoln.' Probably wouldn't be such a good idea.

I knock once and wait for her to open the door. When she does, she looks so beautiful that for a fleeting moment I believe that this is all going to work out okay.

"Lance! I wasn't expecting you." She says with a soft smile. She is wearing green, which is my favorite color on her. It makes her hair stand out more than ever. My breath catches in my throat and I have to curse at myself to stay calm.

"Yeah, I know. I hope I'm not interrupting anything." I say out loud.

"No, of course not. Come on in." She says with an even bigger smile as she makes way for me to enter her home. I do and breathe a sigh of relief as the smell of lavender reaches my nostrils. She follows me into the living room and she takes a seat on her couch. I decide its best to take a seat next to her so I join her on the couch. My pulse is racing a mile a minute and I'm sure she can tell.

"Sara…there's some things I need to tell you." I say softly, almost too soft for me. I've never been like this before, never been this nervous to make a confession.

"Okay, you know you can tell me anything." She says reassuringly, just as she had done with dozens of past conversations about our addictions. All the while not knowing that she was one of them. I took a deep breath and readied myself for the back lash of my lies.

I looked into her comforting green eyes and lost myself for a second as she waited patiently for me to say something.

"I'm…" I started and then stopped. I took another huge breath and started again.

"I'm not gay." I said matter-of-factly, which seemed like the most appropriate way to do it. She stared at me silently for a few seconds before blinking. I waited for her to say something but it was obvious after ten seconds of silence that she wasn't going to. I broke her; she was at a loss for words. That was either a very bad sign, or a good one.

Without warning, she stood and started to walk towards her bedroom. I panicked and stood up after her, letting everything gush out of me at once.

"I'm really; really sorry that I lied to you but I froze and I didn't know how else to recover after you rejected me at the meeting. I couldn't think of any other way to rebound…it's just that I really like you…" She stopped and turned around to look at me. Her eyes sent shock waves, she looked so conflicted. Every emotion bouncing through her all at once.

The room suddenly felt too warm; like it was getting harder to breath. I stood in front of her, defeated; waiting for her to berate me with angry words.

"I'm so sorry." I said finally, not knowing if it would actually help. Her features then started to soften, her eyebrows un-furrowed and she stepped closer to me. I let my eyes cast downwards as I looked at her creamy white collarbones and suddenly I felt very unsure of the situation.

Yes, I had come here with the intention of telling her the truth but now I just wanted to run away. Which wasn't something I did often. I was Paul Kellerman, the go-to-guy when someone wanted to get something done. Now, all I wanted to do was be out of this room.

She looked up at me and I met her eyes. I felt nervous, anxious and most of all…terrified.

"What's your real name?" She asked in a husky whisper. I looked down at her pale pink lips for a moment; she was close enough to touch. I took a deep breath and told her.

"Paul. Paul Kellerman." I said with the most honesty I had ever used in my life. Now, if only I could tell her the part about me being a Secret Service Agent. No. She smiled at me gently.

"Paul." I inhaled sharply as she said my name aloud. I closed my eyes to savor the moment until I felt something brush against my stomach and wrap around my waist. I opened my eyes to find Sara right up against me. She lifted her eyes to meet mine. The emotions were so overwhelming they felt almost claustrophobic.

I put my hands on her arms and pushed her away lightly. I looked down at her face and noted the sadness that was stuck there. I immediately regretted my decision and took a step back towards her.

"I just want you to understand how important it was for me to tell you the truth…but…I have to go…" I said softly. She looked disappointed and I hated it.

"Okay." She said, matching my quietness. She looked up at me one last time before she started walking to her front door to let me out. I walked out and stood in the empty hallway.

As I turned back to look at her I was caught off guard when her lips met mine. They tasted like vanilla and were the softest things I had ever felt. I let my hand drift over to rest on the side of her face as she wrapped her arms around my neck. Her chest pressed into mine as we both held our breath.

After a few frozen seconds she pulled away and gave me a smile that screamed possibilities. I smiled back.

"Bye Sara." I said with a lighter tone before turning around and walking down the hall to the elevator. Realizing just then how much I had just dug myself into a bottomless hole.

To Be Continued…