10 Reasons why Obito's, Madara's, and Kaguya's plans are doomed to fail
1- My Hero Academia
"Canyon Canon" A gigantic woman taller than even the largest Akamichi clan members seemed to appear out of nowhere and drop kick the Kyuubi away from the village. "Bad dog," The woman yelled smacking the giant fox like an unruly pet. "Don't you give me the puppy dog eyes, and would some one tell me what the hell is going on. One minute I'm fighting some villain with a warp gate and the next minute I'm fighting a giant dog. This has to be all Endeavors fault."
2- Pretty Cure All Stars
It was a rather odd site that the ninja's of the Shinobi alliance arrived to. Instead of the massive horde of white zetsu clones, they instead found a group of young women in rather interesting outfits blasting away at Obito, Madara, and the captured tailed beasts among a sea of shurbs and trees.
"Why does this happen every single time we plan a get together," several of the girls/ women yelled.
"I know, and we even went to another planet this time," another one replied.
"Um, who are you people," Tsunade asked.
"We're the pretty cure, and sorry about all this," one of the members replied as the beasts charged again.
"Bad kitty," a purple haired girl in blue yelled punching the two-tailed demon cat into the ground. "That is not how cats are supposed to act."
"I think she might stronger than you Tsunade," the old Tsuchikage said.
"I think they are stronger than the entire alliance," Mei added as some one named Shiny Luminous sent Madara back to the afterlife with a rainbow-colored heart shaped blast.
3- Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha (video game continuity)
"Are you sure this is the right planet?" Hayate asked.
"Pretty sure," Reinforce replied.
"Pretty sure," Hayate said raising an eyebrow at her something of a mother figure.
"It's been a while but it is the right one," Vita said.
"And it seems like he is still around," Zafira said sniffing the air.
"Hehehehehehe Madara dear," Signum giggled like a little school girl before racing off.
"Should we be concerned," Hayate asked.
"Not really," Vita replied.
"Is this the best you can do," Madara said scoffing at the attacks of the 5 kages before a pink missile shattered the impenetrable susano.
"Madara-kun," Signum gushed pressing the revived ninja's face into her bosom.
"Signum….." Madara stammered realizing just who was hugging him.
"Yes, and are you being a naughty boy again," Signum said looking him in the eye.
"No…." Madara replied.
"Don't lie to me Madara," Signum pressed looking him straight in the eye.
"But it was for a good cause…." Madara protested.
"We talked about this Madara-kun," Signum said. "Now what is the problem?"
"Kaguya and the Ōtsutsuki's," Madara replied.
"Reinforce will handle it while you go apologize for being stupid before Shamal fixes your head again," Signum said.
"Yes dear," Madara huffed.
"Are you seeing this," Mei Terumi said.
"Yes, and I'm no where near sober enough for this," Tsunade replied.
4- A Certain Scientific Railgun
"Kuroko….." Misaka growled, electricity arcing dangerously through her hair. A feminine screech filled the air as electricity discharged causing Kuroko to convulse.
"Um, where are we," Saten asked looking around the warzone they seemed to have landed in.
"I have no idea, but I think that the experiment malfunctioned," Uiharu added.
"You think," Misaka sighed pointing at the gargantuan multi armed beast across the field from them.
"Evacuate the civilians," one of the ninja yelled.
"I don't know how you got here, but you need to leave now," Sakura ordered.
"I think that's a good idea," Saten said.
"Why does everyone forget I'm a level five," Misaka screamed summoning down a massive lightening bolt down right on top of the beast.
"Um are you a ninja," Naruto asked stunned by the display of power.
"I'm the third level 5 of academy city and I am tired of people thinking I am just some weak little girl. First that idiot blows me off, then I have to deal with those crazy scientists again, and now this. I really need to blow off some steam and you are going to be the perfect target," Misaka hissed using her power to summon the dropped weapons to her side before launching them at the beast. Kunai thrown by even the best ninja, had nothing on the metal being sent Madara's way at three times the speed of sound. Needless to say, their healing abilities is what saved them after being turned into human pin cushions. As for the ten tails well let's just say that a pissed off Misaka experiencing that annoyance that all women must face increased her anger and power to a new level. Plus, everything dies once you burn its entire body to a crisp it just took a bit longer than it did with the AIM beast.
"And that's what you get for calling me flat," Misaka said using her signature railgun on Obito as the ten tails breathed it last.
"Scary," Naruto whimpered hiding behind Hinata.
"She is so cool," Saten cheered.
5- Miss Kobayashi's Dragon Maid
The group of Dragons and humans were enjoying a rather nice picnic on another planet so the Dragons could stretch their wings, before Kanna returned after a brief flight, shifting into human form and leaping into Kobayashi's arms. "What's wrong Kanna?"
"Ōtsutsuki…" Kanna muttered.
"What's an Otsutsuki?" Kobayashi asked.
"They are…." Lucoa began to explain.
"Dead," Tohru hissed standing up.
"But I thought you didn't each people anymore?" Kobayashi asked.
"I don't and technically they aren't human," Tohru said.
"The Otsutsuki are a race of parasites that travel from world to world, sucking the life out of every planet they come across," Lucoa explained.
"And they did this to….?" Kobayashi asked.
"They tried before the dragons and humans drove them off," Lucoa explained.
"My friends," Kanna whimpered.
"Tohru," Kobayashi hissed looking her dragon maid right in the eye.
"Search and destroy," Kobayahi said her words like steel.
"Yes ma'am," Tohru replied with a salute before racing into the sky the dragon of chaos ready to deliver ragnarok to the Otsutsuki.
"Um you saw that right," Naruto said unable to take his eyes away from the carnage.
"This is impossible," Sasuke added.
"Seeing is believing," Sakura muttered as the newly released Kaguya was turned into a roasted dragon snack before the giant tree that was once the ten tails was burnt to a crisp.
"Sorry about that but she is an evil bitch who needed to be put down," Tohru said.
"Dragons can talk," Naruto gasped.
"Of course, I can talk, and tell that demented fox in your gut that if I hear him causing any problems, I'm going to rip his tails off and stuff them down his throat," Tohru explained.
"You know about that," Sakura gasped.
"Hello dragon, and just tell those tailed beasts to behave or else," Tohru said before flying off.
6- Bastard!
Dark Schneider was understandably confused after battling through hell and all that, but had finally emerged somewhere on the mortal coil. Of course it wasn't Earth, but at least he was back in the mortal world. Great news for the strongest Dark Wizard to ever live, not so much for the inhabitants of the world he now found themselves in, or at least that's how it was supposed to work. Fortunately or unfortunately for the inhabitants of the shinobi world, Dark Schnieder landed right in the middle of a battle between a reincarnated Madara and the 5 kages. Now the old man, the boy, and the idiot didn't interest him to much but the women on the other hand were of great interest after several years dealing with the demons of hell.
"Hold it," Dark roared stopping the battle in its tracks. "Now who did it?"
"Did what?" Onoki asked the new arrival.
"Hurt the read headed babe," Dark said pointing to Mei.
"That would be me, and you're a fool for interrupting," Madara replied smugly looking down on another pathetic civilian caught in a shinobi battle.
"A zombie did all this, man you guys suck, but I'll forgive you for being so talented ladies," Dark chuckled.
"You dare mock me," Madara roared.
"Blah, blah, blah, go scare some kids," Dark replied kneeling down next to Mei. "Now then what do you say we go have drink."
"Die," an enraged Madara roared running Dark through with the energy blade of his susano.
"Oh, please like this is going to kill me," Dark chuckled crushing the blade extending one hand towards Madara. "Ego Ego A Zara Gorai Ego Ego Zame Ragon! Prince of darkness and elder of evil, in the name of the future king. Germs of evil be sated by this offering! Devour him with flesh and bones! Led Zeppelin!" Dark spoke as a dome of all encompassing darkness surrounded Madara.
"Is he sealed away," Tsunade asked alternating between staring at the black dome and the rapidly healing wound in Dark's stomach.
"Sealed, why would I seal a zombie," Dark replied helping Mei to her feet.
"But….." Mei stammered.
"I didn't seal him," Dark replied.
"Then what did you do to him," Mei asked.
"I wouldn't touch that," Dark said as Tsunade reached out towards the black mass.
"Why?" Tsunade asked.
"Because big tits, Led Zepplin summons the souls of hell to devour the target," Dark chuckled before Tsuande tried to punch his head off.
"Oh, I like feisty ones," Dark laughed.
7- Fate Stay Night
"Once I pull this off then even Sasuke will have to say how great I am," a young Naruto said as he finished the hand seals for the summoning jutsu he saw several ninja perform for his academy class earlier in the day. The seals finished he summoned up all the energy he could before slamming his fist into the ground with a shout. "Summoning Jutsu."
"Dam it Rin what did you do this time," Shiro groaned from the bottom of the pile he now found himself in.
"Why is it my fault," Rin shot back.
"Because you are usually the one performing the experiments," Shiro replied.
"You have a good point, but it wasn't my sister this time," Sakura said.
"Are you my summons," Naruto asked.
"Oh, come on you have got to be kidding me, a summons in another holy grail war, this has to be all your fault Shiro," Rin screamed kicking Shiro.
"But he doesn't have any command seals," Shiro pointed out.
"Fine, but I'm still blaming you," Rin grumbled.
"It's all my fault," Naruto muttered tears beginning to form before he found himself swept up in Sakura's arms pressed tightly to her bosom.
"It's not your fault little one, and we aren't mad at you, just a little confused," Sakura said.
"I was trying to summon a ninja animal so the others wouldn't make fun of me anymore," Naruto said softly. "I was doing what the ninja's did plus this extra step an old man with red eyes gave me to make it extra special. He said they would be the best summons ever."
"Dam it Zeltretch, this is all your fault," Rin roared the heavens.
"Calm down Rin at least we know what is going on," Shiro said.
"You'll have to excuse my sister Naruto, she is a tsundere," Sakura chuckled.
"Um so what happens now?" Naruto asked.
"I guess that's up to the people watching us in the trees," Shiro said creating a pair of blades as Rin pulled out several jewels.
"No fighting," Sakura said as tendrils of darkness restrained Rin, Shiro and the newly arrived ninjas.
"Who are you," the third Hokage said entering the clearing.
"Grandpa, look who I summoned," Naruto cheered.
"My name is Sakura, and that is my sister Rin, and our boyfriend Shiro," Sakura explained.
"Our boyfriend?" Rin shot back.
"I do not mind sharing, but that is neither here nor there," Sakura said as Shiro fainted. "The real question is why a phantasmal beast is sealed into this child."
"Oh bugger," the hokage sighed.
8- Tenchi Muyo
"Is there something wrong Sasami," Tenchi asked as the young girl and incarnation of the goddess Tsunami stormed out of the house.
"Not really, I'm just going for a walk," Sasami replied.
"Um, did I miss something?" Tenchi asked.
"It seems Mihoshi was telling Sasami about this evil demon tree causing a war on a planet she passed by recently. She tried using her ships weapons, but regenerates at a frightening speed and she was told it was the strongest tree in the universe," Washu explained.
"And that made Sasami go for a walk," Tenchi replied.
"Tenchi what is Tsunami's natural form in this dimension?" Washu asked.
"A tree….. oh now I get it… Oh crap….," a wide eyed Tenchi replied.
9- Gurren Lagan
In every other version of reality, Gai would charge Madara opening the 8 gates to buy enough time for Naruto and Sasuke to recover. This charge would cost him his life in some realities, but in many Naruto returned in time to save him. However, in one particular reality Gai tripped and instead of his thumb opening the 8th gate a small drill shaped rock did instead. This one small seemingly inconsequential difference, changed everything for that world, even if the green glow now surround Might Gai looked almost identical to the opening of the 8th gate.
"Impossible," Madara gasped as Gai's glowing green fist punched straight through his black shield made from his truth-seeking balls.
"I thought that in opening the 8th gate caused the death of the user shortly after opening," Gaara asked as Gai continued to use Madara like a pin ball.
"It does and it should have killed him by now," Kakashi explained.
"That's because Gai sensei is in the spring time of his youth," Lee cheered.
"I have nothing to say to that," Minato said gaping at the scene.
"So, what did I miss," Naruto said arriving as Gai vaporized Madara in a green blast of energy.
"Gai killed Madara, using the 8th gate and didn't die, or something like that," Kakashi said.
"Ok, cool, now let's go get some ramen," Naruto said.
10- Oh My Goddess
"Hello this is the goddess relief helpline, a representative will be with you in just a moment," a pleasant sounding female voice said over the phone.
"But I was trying to order ramen," Naruto groaned as a knock sounded on his door.
"Demon relief office," a female voice said through his door.
"Give me a break," Naruto groaned. "If this is one of your pranks Kiba I'm going to kill you."
"Sorry I don't know any Kiba," a tall dark skinned silver haired beauty said stepping out of his TV.
"Don't you know how to open the door kiddo," a pale skinned, blond haired beauty said entering Naruto's apartment.
"Urd, Mara," the women growled from across the room at each other.
"Um what the hell is going on," Naruto groaned.
"Fate has deemed you worthy having a wish granted by a goddess," Urd said.
"Why me," a stunned Naruto said.
"Having a Goddess step out of your TV doesn't surprise you," Urd asked.
"Not really considering I have a demon fox sealed inside me," Naruto shrugged, and I've seen one before.
"One the fox isn't a demon, he just likes to think he is, and two where in the hell did you see a goddess," Mara said looming over him.
"I got up late one night use the bathroom during a mission and I saw a goddess dancing on the water," Naruto explained as Urd fell down laughing.
"She wasn't a goddess, but you have good taste," Urd replied.
"Ok, but that still doesn't tell me why you are here," Naruto asked.
"Fate has decided to have a goddess grant you a wish on account of your trying life," Urd explained.
"Chaos has decided that a demon should grant you a wish," Mara said.
"and I can wish for anything I want….." Naruto asked.
"Yes," the pair replied.
"Excellent," Naruto grinned as the goddess, demon, and the world shuddered.