The Sighs that Yondu Cares. Part 17

Wash Your Sins Away

Happy New Year everyone, so here's the latest part. Yes, it's a bit angst ridden, but it does get better soon.

So Peter is recovering at last. But Yondu has to come to terms with his own sins, and the sins of Peter's father.

Chapter One

Yondu hated sick people, he hated being sick himself. He had no patience for it, happy to leave people doped up on whatever to cure them and go on his way. Ravagers had no time for sickness or weakness, and everyone knew that.

However, Peter had been drifting in an out of consciousness for the last few days while his brain recovering and Yondu hadn't left his side.

Several times Peter had woken up and found it strange, strange that Yondu was caring about him, strange that his hand was brushing through his hair.

"Did you really kill Writusa?" Peter had asked more than once, too which Yondu just said he had before Peter fell asleep again. Knowing the Ravager was dead gave Peter some comfort, as did the fact that Yondu hadn't ripped him off, but Peter had never asked for the money, and Yondu was saving it all. All he had to do was ask, but Peter didn't, he was too scared too.

Sometimes when he saw Yondu at his bedside. Peter let himself go into the other place, it was familiar even though he knew he shouldn't. Peter knew he had depression, this feeling in his body and mind but didn't know what to do about it, and neither did Yondu.

For Healer Raziel, who was observing this, while treating Peter, every day she had to fight the temptation to kick Yondu, Kraglin and especially her nephew for what had happened to that teenager. But she kept silent and investigated further. Though it was a surprise to the Captain when she came in and brusquely summoned Yondu into another room.

Leaving Peter's side, Yondu followed her into a small lab. The remains of the creature cut open which had been removed from Peter's head were exposed on a table, making it look bigger than it initially was. Yondu could see the membranes which had burrowed into Peter's head and caused all of this while Raziel enhanced the screen in more detail.

"We did an autopsy on the damn thing, it's from his father literally a piece of him, cut deep into his brain, causing him to go mad" Raziel explained further.

"It's meant to lie dormant for years, ebbing at his brain and his confidence the older he got. However, when he was comatose after surviving the vacuum of space, the trauma from the event, made it activate faster. The kicker is that it is possible this is the reason he could have survived being braindead for so long."

Yondu shifted remembering all this and not liking where this was going.

So that thing was meant to kill him but had also saved him before it began to deteriorate his brain. God the concept was so sick, Ego truly was a bastard.

"Over time, Peter would have questioned everything, depression and uselessness but it wasn't meant to be so obvious, but it would have come to a head eventually. "As you can see there is a message embedded in the damn thing."

The Healer enhanced the screen once more so Yondu could see it, some word he couldn't decipher while the Healer explained everything further.

"What does it say" Yondu finally asked, while the Healer offered a small smile, rare on her face.

"Kill your father". Then she signed.

"Alezduren explained to me what happened when he was abducted, that his father tortured him, with that question and Peter said that it was you.

His father's plan was for Peter to kill you. When he came back from the dead, Peter was confused and scared, he wanted affection from you. Apparently what he's always wanted from you, was scared at how he felt, that led too self-harming, and depression and the trauma on his brains robbed him of the ability to even grasp sensations.

Peter couldn't kill you, so he felt like he had to kill himself". She finally finished and tried to judge Yondu's reaction.

Yondu tried to digest this, Ego had done all of this, all of this to his own son, because of.

"He did it to punish me" he finally said trying to keep impassive and failing, He had caused of this, Ego and Yondu. Shit, Yondu himself had caused all of this.

"What can I do?" he finally asked, trying to make sense of this and the teenage currently seeping on a biobed too which Razels exhaled.

"Peter's depressed, I can't cure that, he needs reassurance and…"

"And?"

"You pushed him away, Yondu, he feels like this was his fault and hates himself for it. you need to show that you give a damn about him".

Yondu just thought see more and rubbed his hand over his fin.

"How the hell do I fix him?"

To which the Healer just rolled her eyes. "You can't fix him; he needs to get better in his own time."

Yondu digested this information, and seeing that damn thing, which was ripped from Peter, it seemed that it was taunting him. Yondu excused himself and turned on his feet. He knew Peter was sleeping and hadn't really left his side. But he needed to escape, at that moment.

Stepping out into the organised chaos of Knowhere was like a slap in the face, and Yondu felt like trying to find a bar, internally he felt pissed every time his thoughts went back to Ego and Peter.

Yondu knew it was the Celestial and had tortured him, he knew where Peter was and could have taken him at any time, but he didn't give a shit, like all the others. Peter had no idea about his dead half-siblings, but apparently, he lacked the thing that Ego needed. To Ego, Peter was just a nothing and had tormented him with that information just to make the boy go insane.

And Yondu…shit he knew about it, but like hell could he tell Peter that. How could he sit the teen down and explain everything?

Mentally Peter was damaged, and Yondu had to try something to change it. Finding himself walking to clear his head, even though Knowhere was the last place to even attempt that. He found himself going through the markets. Peter had no clothes, and Yondu could at least get him something, wondering if Peter would appreciate the gesture.

Selecting the right clothes, Yondu made a mental decision not to get anything red, even though he knew it was Peter's favourite colour, back when he was desperate to wear the coat and flame of the Ravagers.

The Ravagers, Yondu couldn't even think about that now, it hadn't been said, but he knew that Kraglin and Alezduren had taken over all that and informed the crew of something, but was strange that they cared so much even though up to this point Yondu hadn't given a shit.

Throwing the t-shirt and jeans into a bag the seller had supplied even though Yondu wasn't in the mood to engage in conversation over his shoulder. He was so deep in thought that he almost collided with a group of teenage boys, roughhousing on the street.

They ignored Yondu and didn't even bother to apologise, the little sods, and just laughed amongst themselves causing Yondu to stop suddenly. They were all about Peter's age, all unclean, since that was impossible on Knowhere, from their age, their childhood would soon end, but right now they were just kids having fun. Just like Peter should be, and could be.

With his kind formulating an idea, Yondu patched a call to Kraglin, he was finally going to make this right. He promised himself, while in a small Healing Centre in Knowhere Peter Jason Quill was drifting out of unconsciousness while the Healer WAS replacing his nutrient drip and Peter immediately looked around in a panic.

"Yondu", he whispered his voice still too raw from the screaming during the surgery.

"He'll be back Peter, he just stepped out" Razels placed a hand on the boy's clammy forehead, in a bid to be reassuring, while Peter just looked into the distance. This was strange, people with real authority giving a shit about him.

"He's going to leave me, isn't he? He's going to leave me with you and never come back". Peter's voice was so small, and he hated it, as the Healer just grabbed his hand and caressed it like a mother would.

"No Peter, he just stepped out. He won't leave you, but…"

"But what?"

"Would you like him too, if he asked?"

Peter thought for a moment, but he just came back to the same conclusion he always did.

"No, because he's all I've got" Peter just mumbled to the Healer, and just tried to sleep some more, wishing he was elsewhere but wishing to be nowhere else.

To be continued

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