Naruto Rants on Pairings Pt. 1

Hehe, yes. My first creation for is Naruto ranting about pairings.

Warning: He may bash some pairings you might like. You have been warned. Enjoy!

Note: I do not own Naruto, no matter how much I might like to... Oh yeah, SPOILERS!!!

Alright, I guess I (Naruto Uzumaki, believe it!) should clear up a few things, huh? First things first for all you Narusaku or

Sakunaru or whatever fans out there. It's. Not. Happening. Sakura and I are NOT going to be together. I have accepted this fact

long ago. She likes Sasuke. Though, we also know this isn't happening, either. What straight guy has 'uke' in his name? X3 And did I

mention his Shippuuden outfit? Can we call Queer Eye for the Straight Guy on that one, please? And yet, Sakura still wants him... And, if I may ask,

where the fuck do you people get the ideas for some of these pairings?! Out of your asses?! Half the crack pairings that have been

created are with people that haven't even met or, rather, people that barely know each other! Deidara X Ino? Yuck! and what's up with

Sasori X Sakura? SHE KILLED HIM!!! I've ran across Lee X Sakura, too... Don't tell Sakura, but I like that one X3 Ugly babies, thought, huh?

Pink hair with bushy eyebrows and big, bug eyes 0.o Sounds scary... Well, off that subject, I myself seem to be the 'ultimate uke' for you people.

What, am I just not seme material? For God's sake, you made me uke to GAARA! Well, he would probably have to be seme...so aggressive...

The most famous pairing with me, I noticed, was Sasunaru. I pondered this and realized this wasn't COMPLETE crack. I mean, though

accidental, we did kiss. There are small hints of Sasunaru in the series. He's not bad looking, I guess. Not ridiculously good looking,

but not aw-... You know what, never mind... Anyway, I discovered lemons, but was confused with the term. Thinking Sasuke and I were having

a lemon eating contest, I foolishly clicked... You people have destroyed my mind. Everytime I think of or see Sasuke... Well, you don't want to

know... Hn, ramen time! Guess I'll have to finish this rant later, believe it!

Author's Note: ridiculously good looking from Zoolander

I discovered lemons, but was confused with the term... true story about how I first discovered

lemons...no lie...X3