A/N:

So this cute little one-shot was inspired by something I saw on the Ask the Anderson Brothers tumblr. That website is hilarious! Check it out if you haven't already. Anyway…the post that inspired me was this:

Anonymous asked: Blaine, hypothetically speaking, what would you do if Sebastian decided he wanted Kurt?

Blaine: Get out of the firing line

Cooper: Buy popcorn. Bring seats.

Blaine: Oh, god, Kurt would…yeah, that wouldn't be pretty.

Cooper: Sit back and watch the show.

Isn't that funny? Well, it inspired this. I hope I did it justice.

Wes' birthday was in two weeks and Kurt and Blaine had made the trip from McKinley to Dalton to help David plan a surprise party. Once they'd set up a guest list, a time, decided on decoration and figured out how to keep Wes from finding out, David went back to his room and Kurt and Blaine decided to look around and see what had changed at Dalton.

They passed Blaine's old dorm room, visited some of their teachers and checked out the library and cafeteria. The best came last. They walked into the Warbler's practice room, holding hands and looking around fondly. It hadn't changed a bit.

Blaine walked Kurt over to one of the leather sofas and sat down, pulling his boyfriend into his arms beside him. They sat in silence for a bit, just looking around and reminiscing about all of the life changing things that had happened in that room.

It was calm and peaceful until a loud chime broke the silence. Blaine blushed lightly and pulled his phone out of his pocket. His face lit up when he saw the name on the screen. "Sorry. Mind if I take this?" he asked. Kurt smiled and told him to go ahead. Blaine got up and jogged out the room. Kurt heard him answer before the heavy wooden door shut behind him.

Sure, Kurt was wondering why Blaine had to go out of the room to take the phone call and wouldn't tell him who it was or where he was going but Kurt didn't let it get to him. Instead he just found a Vogue magazine in one of the side table drawers and sat back down on the sofa with his legs tucked underneath him to read. It was an old issue, most likely from when he and Blaine attended Dalton.

He had studied over half of the outfits in the magazine and Blaine still wasn't back. Kurt was worried and really curious. Not jealous though. After all, Sebastian was way out of the picture after the slushie incident and Kurt knew he had nothing to worry about.

"Hey, Kurt."

Kurt glanced up from his magazine at the familiar voice. Speak of the devil because above him stood the devil himself, Sebastian Smythe.

"What do you want, Sebastian?" Kurt snapped, not even bothering to be polite. He kept his eyes on his magazine. Sebastian didn't say anything. "Was there something you needed, or are you intending to just stand here like the creeper you are?"

Kurt looked up long enough to see Sebastian smiling down at him with that evil smile of his.

"Actually," Sebastian said, "there is something I need."

Kurt rolled his eyes, still looking at the magazine. "Well, Blaine isn't here and I can guarantee there's no way in hell he wants anything to do with you after that stunt you pulled anyway."

The other end of the sofa sank slightly as Sebastian lowered his weight onto it. Kurt slid even closer to the opposite end and luckily, Sebastian stayed where he was.

"I'm not looking for Blaine," Sebastian said. His voice was slightly deeper but Kurt didn't even notice. He was too busy trying to figure out why he had circled a scarf that now seemed hideous to him. Sebastian continued, "In fact, I haven't been looking for Blaine in quite some time. Haven't you-"

"Get to the point and leave me alone."

Sebastian sighed in amusement. "I'm over Blaine," he announced.

This time Kurt looked up. His eyebrows were raised, his skepticism obvious. "Really?" Sebastian nodded, still smiling mischievously.

Neither boy said anything else for a while. Kurt went back to his magazine and Sebastian just kept…staring at him. And then he did the last thing Kurt expected him to do. He slid smoothly across the leather cushion until he was just a few centimeters away from Kurt's knees. Kurt remained calm and ignored him but inside he was wondering what the hell was going on.

Encounters with Sebastian were a lot of things, most often infuriating, but this was just plain weird.

"He isn't man enough for me," Sebastian finally said. It was more like a deep whisper. Kurt almost thought he hadn't heard him correctly but judging from the way Sebastian was watching him expectantly, he knew he had.

Sebastian was close, way too close. He was leaning on one hand so that his torso was leaning towards Kurt. If he wanted to all he would have to do was lean forward enough and they would bump noses. A little more and their faces would be completely pressed together.

Kurt was freaking out. He had a million thoughts going through his head. The first, after the resounding 'WTF?' was 'Blaine is manly. Very, very manly'. As much as it made the situation even more uncomfortable, Kurt blushed. Then he blanched thinking of what this would look like if someone, especially Blaine walked in. He wanted to push Sebastian away but touching him was just…eww. Plus, this was most likely just Sebastian trying to make a fool out of Kurt and giving him any kind of reaction would just encourage the demon meerkat.

Okay, I'll just play along until he leaves, Kurt decided.

He looked back down at his magazine, no longer actually paying attention to the words and photographs on the pages. But he did turn his page for good measure. "Oh, really," he said to Sebastian, "and who exactly is 'man enough for you'?"

Sebastian said something but it came out as more of a soft growl. It almost sounded like he had said…"you".

"Excuse me?"

"I said you," Sebastian said in his normal voice. "I said you are the one that's manly enough for me."

Kurt snorted. Yep, this was officially one of Sebastian's stupid games. Maybe he thought he could get Kurt to give in to him, tell Blaine, break them up and then get the Warbler's ex-soloist all to himself. It was actually kind of amusing.

"What happened to me having a 'bad case of the gay face'?" Kurt asked. His tone was flat, not offended and definitely not interested, just stating a fact.

Sebastian moved to rest a hand on Kurt's knee. Kurt pushed it off calmly. "Oh Kurt," Sebastian said, "I didn't mean that"

Kurt snorted again. "Sure you didn't."

"I'm serious," Sebastian insisted. "I think…I think it's like how when you're little and you have a crush, you're too embarrassed to say anything so you're mean to the person you like just to get their attention. I just wanted your attention, Kurt,"

Kurt closed the magazine and looked Sebastian square in the eye. "Okay, cut the crap, Smythe. Seriously. What. Do. You. Want?" Kurt was glaring fiercely with his best bitch face and Sebastian was still just gazing into his eyes. If Sebastian wasn't such an arrogant, conniving asshole, it would have been pathetic and kind of sweet.

"You," Sebastian whispered. He tried to touch Kurt again but got his hand slapped away. "I'm so glad Blaine jumped between you and the slushie. I would hate for anything to happen to your beautiful eyes."

And that was it. Kurt lost it.

He forgot all about his previous disgust at touching Sebastian and pushed him squarely in the chest with so much force that Sebastian landed on his back against the couch cushions. Kurt jumped to his feet, still clutching the magazine, now rolled up like a baton.

"I can't believe you," Kurt shouted at him. "You are the most unbelievable, wretched excuse of a human being I have ever met!"

Sebastian's eyes traveled to look at something behind Kurt and then he looked back up to the furious boy. "Kurt…"

"No, Sebastian," Kurt interrupted, hitting Sebastian on the head with his rolled up magazine hard enough to shock the seated teen. Kurt was never violent in any way but Sebastian had just gone too far. Plus, it's not like a copy of Vogue was going to do that much damage.

Kurt continued, "I have wanted to say this for a very long time but you were Blaine's friend and he thought you were an okay guy so I was going to give you a chance. But you took every opportunity that Blaine wasn't around to let your true self show. And you know what your true self is? It's sneaky, deceptive and completely, undoubtedly evil. You decided that you wanted Blaine-really that you just wanted to get into his pants-and you didn't care about anyone but yourself in trying to get him. Don't you get how selfish you are? We love each other. Blaine and I have both been through so much and we finally found each other. Who the hell do you think you are to try and take that away from us? If you actually cared about Blaine, if you actually cared about me as you now claim to, then why would you want to hurt us?"

Sebastian tried to reach out to Kurt but Kurt stepped back. He glared sharply at Sebastian. If looks could kill, Sebastian would have been dead a hundred times over. Sebastian sighed and looked down at his hands. "You know Kurt, we're more alike than you think," he said.

Kurt's glare got even more feral, if that was possible. He leaned over so that his face was even closer to Sebastian and enunciated his next words carefully. "We. Are. Nothing. Alike." He straightened up, still looking Sebastian dead in the eye. "I am completely and madly in love with Blaine. But I would let him go if he had decided that he wanted you. Sure, it would crush me but I care more about Blaine's happiness than my own. You're the only person that you care about. And that's the biggest difference between the two of us. And don't even get me started on that goddamn slushie. You're so pathetic. You don't get what you want so you through rock salt into somebody's eyes. You could have made Blaine –or me since that's who you were aiming for – blind forever."

"Kurt-" Sebastian said, standing up. He smirked, still looking as calm as ever as if Kurt's words had had no effect on him whatsoever. He kept leaning closer and closer to Kurt with a devilish smirk on his face.

It wasn't until he was only a couple inches away from Kurt, that the shorter boy stopped glaring and started hitting. He smacked Sebastian in the chest with his magazine, over and over again. "Stop it! Stop it, stop it, stop! Get it through that thick skull of yours to your tiny pea-sized little brain. I want nothing to do with you!" Kurt yelled at him. The magazine slipped from his hand and slid under the sofa so Kurt grabbed the next best thing, one of the leather decorative pillows from off the sofa and used it to smack Sebastian with. He knew it didn't hurt but it got his point across. "So now you are going to stay away from me and Blaine and stop trying to ruin everyone else's lives or you will forever regret the day you met me."

Kurt was red in the face and breathing heavily from the exertion of swinging the pillow repeatedly and the adrenaline but Sebastian remained as stoic as ever. "Think of what you're passing up right now, Kurt," Sebastian said.

Kurt stopped hitting Sebastian with the poor, abused pillow. "Oh, I know what I'm passing up right now," he said, "The chance to do some serious damage to you but guess what Sebastian? You aren't worth it and you never will be. You've been warned, stay away."

With that, Kurt dropped the pillow onto Sebastian's lap and adjusted his jacket with a dignified hmph. He was about to turn and walk out of the practice room to find his boyfriend but he stopped. "One last thing," he told Sebastian. "You had better be very glad that Dalton has uniforms because I've seen you without the blazer and let me just say, you are a disgrace to gay men everywhere. Versace is rolling over in his grave."

Kurt spun around to walk out and Sebastian opened his mouth to say something. Both of them froze when they heard the applause. It was coming from the doorway.

There stood a 20-something year old man with dark hair and eyes, leaning against the doorframe and clapping. He had a huge smile on his face.

"That was amazing!" he said to Kurt. Kurt blushed, embarrassed that someone had seen him go so totally ballistic. The man turned to someone behind him that Kurt couldn't see. "That's your boyfriend, right?" Now completely confused, Kurt walked towards the man to see who was there.

Blaine stepped from behind the door into the room. "Yep, that's my Kurt," he said, smiling proudly at Kurt. He was still shaking slightly from his silent laughter. "I told you you'd like him."

The older man grinned even wider. "That was so kickass!" He patted Kurt on the back and high-fived him with his free hand.

"Um…thanks," Kurt said. He looked curiously at Blaine who was just smiling adorably back at him.

"Seriously," the man continued. "Welcome to the family!"

It clicked for Kurt. "Oh, you're Blaine's brother." When he looked closer he could see a certain amount of resemblance between the two. They had the same thick dark hair even though Blaine's was way curlier and glued to his head with a ridiculous amount of gel. Their eyes were also both hazel but the thing that was the most shockingly similar about them was their smiles.

"The one and only," he said.

Blaine moved to stand on Kurt's other side. "Kurt, this is my brother Cooper. Cooper, this is my boyfriend, Kurt."

"I've heard a lot about you, Kurt Hummel," Cooper said.

"As have I you."

Their introductions were cut short when someone cleared their throat directly behind them. The three guys turned to see Sebastian standing behind them.

"Munchkin, Lady Face," he said coldly. Sebastian pushed in between Blaine and Kurt, making sure to slam both of their shoulders with his own as he walked past.

Kurt's face turned red. "What did I just say, Sebastian? What the hell did I just say?" Kurt shouted. Sebastian, Blaine and Cooper were frozen in shock at his outburst for a second. Then Cooper started laughing, Blaine smiled and stared at Kurt, and Sebastian turned back around slowly with a smirk on his face.

"I don't know, Kurt," Sebastian said. "Enlighten me."

Kurt stepped forward so that he was right in Sebastian's face. Neither Cooper nor Blaine bothered to pull him back. They were enjoying it far too much.

"Don't push me, Smythe," he shouted. He stabbed Sebastian in the chest with every word. "Don't you dare pretend that you didn't hear me, you demented ignoramus!"

Kurt was so worked up that Blaine thought he was about to haul off and punch Sebastian, and as entertaining as that would be, Blaine knew Kurt would regret it later. He moved to wrap a comforting arm around Kurt and pull him back but Cooper stopped him.

"Stay out of the firing line," Cooper warned his younger brother. "Sit back and watch the show."

Kurt ignored them completely and continued berating Sebastian.

"Since you're so dense, I will say it again. Stay away you immature Neanderthal. Because next time you so much as breathe around us, I will show you just how much limited edition Marc Jacobs lace-up boots hurt. Because I can guarantee, they will do a whole hell of a lot of damage to that slimy meerkat face of yours."

Sebastian stared back at Kurt. He was shocked but he didn't let it show. "Whatever," he mumbled and turned and walked away.

Even after he left no one said anything. Cooper was leaning on a slightly calmer Blaine in hysterics. Finally, Kurt turned around, still red in the face and straightening out his clothes again.

"We should go," he said. "I promised Dad and Finn that I'd make their favorite chicken dinner tonight."

The laughter in the room subsided.

"Oh my God," Cooper said. "You just did that to the asshole and you can cook? Blaine you are one lucky guy."

Of course, being Cooper, he couldn't just leave it at that. He wrapped an arm around Kurt and smacked Blaine on the back with his other hand.

"Baby bro, you'd better be glad I'm not gay because you'd have some serious competition. Although, depending on how good your food is, I just might have to go gay for you Kurt."

A/N:

I hope everyone liked! And I hope no one got offended by any of the things that Kurt said.

Let me know what you all think and give me some ideas for Klaine one-shots featuring Cooper!