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But do thy worst to steal thyself away,
For term of life thou art assured mine;
And life no longer than thy love will stay,
For it depends upon that love of thine.
Then need I not to fear the worst of wrongs,
When in the least of them my life hath end.
I see a better state to me belongs
Than that which on thy humour doth depend:
Thou canst not vex me with inconstant mind,
Since that my life on thy revolt doth lie.
O what a happy title do I find,
Happy to have thy love, happy to die!
But what's so blessed-fair that fears no blot?
Thou mayst be false, and yet I know it not.
Shakespeare Sonnet 92
She looked at the phone and saw the caller ID and cancelled and she felt angry when she saw the phone ringing again .
How dare he call her now to mess with her date ..it was just like him but she wasn't allowing him to play her and mess with her life any more so she cancelled the call and went back to her date with the man who was always there for her , who wanted and appreciated her .Marcus pike .
'so you're gonna get on stage and sing ' she said giving Marcus her best flirty smile .
…
Jane held the phone with one hand the other was on his chest trying to suppress the blood flow with no good when the call went to voice mail the second time the pain in his heart over topped the pain from his wound .
He had mixed feelings of loss , grieve and disappointment .not in Lisbon but in himself . he had hurt her so much that she hated him now , he broke what they had beyond repair and now she had given up on him .
His mind kept going back to many places he despised to ignore the physical pain , he was back in the cemetery watching Red John's dead body with mix of satisfaction and grieve when he realized that the only thing that kept him alive all these years was gone so he decided to go too .. just like a tragic hero from one of those Shakespearean novels he loved so much .
But then he saw her face so beautiful but sad and tainted with tears and melancholy and knew that he loved her enough to live for her , but now the Shakespearean words came back forcefully demanding that he gave up and let go .
He had heard abbot talking to Pike that morning about how he would owe him big deal for stealing one of his agent away and Pike laughed , she hadn't even told him that she was leaving probably afraid that he would mess that opportunity for her .
she was better off without him , and he felt so tired of the pain he cause to himself and others .another reason to go .it was for the best .
He moved his hand away from the wound and let the blood to seep on the dirty pavement and he wanted to smile but gasped instead ..he felt cold .no pain any more and it was like he was floating on a soft lonely cloud in a clear sky .
…
The club was very crowded and she could barely hear her boyfriend's play but the performance was nice .she chuckled as she realized that the word nice described pike in every way but decided not to think much of it and widened her smile when he waved to her from the stage . she had to pretend to be enjoying herself .that's what a good girlfriend would do and refused to listen to the voice in her head telling her that a girlfriend shouldn't have to pretend or fake excitement in the first place .
The phone rang again and she didn't really hear it but felt the vibration in her pocket . it was Cho . she really hoped it was a case .
' Jane is in the hospital ..shot ..limited information ' that was all she remembered from their conversation on her way to the hospital her mind aching from the loud music still echoing in her ears .
she jumped from the cab and went to the reception desk not able to form a coherent sentence ' Patrick Jane ..please ?' .
The nurse looked confused and she almost screamed in anguish when Cho came to her rescue ' Lisbon ! ' it was all he said breathing heavily worry evident in his dark eyes and she knew that a worried looking Cho meant that things were very bad .
' He's not dead ' She let out and she couldn't believe that she had just said that but it seemed like was just speaking her worst thoughts out loud without much thinking .
Cho shook his head and she released a breathe she was holding .
'He is still in surgery .. a young couple said that they found him in a dark street lying unconscious bleeding on the pavement and the guy felt his pulse ..it was weak but it was there so they called the 911 and local cops called Abbot when they saw Jane's identity ' .
She sat on the plastic chair in the waiting room and Cho went to buy them some coffe , her mind had just started catching up with what had happened and she made it to the drastic realization , he had called her because he needed her ..he was scared and in pain and dying lonely and called her for help but she didn't answer because she thought he selfishly was trying to ruin her relationship with Marcus .
What the hell happened to her , she was the closest person to him or used to ..he trusted her more than any body to save him like she had for years but she failed him in the worst possible way .
Her phone rang and she closed her eyes ..she just ran out of the place when received Cho's call and completely forgot about pike .
Cho came back with coffe and she hung up after explaining what happened and apologized several times ..pike wanted to come but she refused and told him she was fine .
'It's not your fault ' Cho told her and she nodded ' ok , Who's fault is it then ? ' she asked and Cho looked away and they were back in a comfortable silence waiting for the ultimate news .
Two hours later :
'Luckily the bullet missed the heart but he lost a lot of blood , he's stable now but he will be in a critical condition until he pass the next 24 hours ..all we can do now is pray for him 'said the doctor .
Lisbon went down on her knees and in the safety of the four walls of the chapel she let her tears fall .. no body would judge her here .. a hand on her shoulder startled her but the man smiled calmly to her .
' will you pray for him too . father ' .
' I will pray for both of you .my child ' .
…
Once the doctor gave her permission she hadn't left his side ..watching him lifelessly asleep for so long made her realize how stupid she was .thinking that maybe keeping her distance from him will help her get over him .
If he would just wake up .she promised herself that she wasn't going to let him go this time .
…..
He opened his eyes and she was typing some thing on her mobile when she looked up and saw him , he saw some thing in her eyes he hadn't seen since he came back from the island . all he had seen in her eyes since then was grudge and pain . but it was some thing like love or fear ..maybe both .
'Jane .you gave me a scare ' she said her eyes misty and held his hand .
After she called the nurse who checked on him and said that every thing was fine , There was a pregnant moment of silence which they spent staring at each other .
she broke the silence first ' Who did this to you Jane ?' she asked and sighed .it was a safe topic to approach .
' I didn't really see his face , it was dark . I heard some a woman scream so I followed the voice to a small house ..i moved around the house trying to see any thing but saw no thing so I called you then and walked away but some one was behind me and when I turned around it was dark and..' he paused for a moment ' he shot me ' .
She flinched again .he was alone and scared and you failed him ..failed him .
'you called again ' she said and he nodded ' why didn't you call the 911 , Cho or Fisher ? ' .
He looked away uncomfortable under her intensive gaze ' You know . I told you if I were dying I would call you ' and attempted to smile but when he looked back to her she wasn't smiling .she looked as If about to break down and he realized that it was the wrong thing to say .
' I have to go home . I will come see you tonight. alright ' she said getting up and he nodded ' you don't need to come again .I am sure moving is hard enough to deal with right now ' .
She froze in her place ' You know about DC . how ?' .
He shrugged ' Does it matter ? ' his voice was low , defeated and she shook her head ' No it doesn't ' she said then walked towards the door but stopped in her track and looked over her shoulder one last time ..he was staring at the window on the verge of tears ..she opened the door and left .
….
A few days later he was charged from the hospital , he hadn't seen Lisbon since the time and Cho was the one who was there to take him home .
The traffic was a nightmare and Jane was exhausted his forehead sweaty and his breathing short ' How is Lisbon ..when is she leaving ? ' he asked .
Cho sighed ' I don't know what you're talking about ' he said and Jane could tell the man was honest 'I forgo to tell you , we checked the home you talked about .it was for sale and there were no sign that any body occupied it except for a few empty food cans ..we know no thing ' .
He appreciated the information though he didn't really care and whoever tried to kill him was welcomed to try again any time .it's not like some one cared if he lived or died any way .
…
He made a cup of tea and didn't bother to take the pain killers .he was okay with physical pain right now . He heard a knock on the door ..thinking it must be Cho or Abbot checking on him but he was surprised to see Agent Marcus Pike .
'Hello Agent Pike ' he said a little disturbed by the strange visit but tried to sound unfazed .
'Well I am happy to see you're doing fine , Can I come in ? ' the man asked politely and Jane let him in and offered him a cup of tea and Pike shook his head ' no thanks ' .
Jane sat down and so did pike on the opposite sides of the small kitchen table ' I know you're not here to check on me Pike , what's going on ?' Jane said taking a sip of his tea .
Pike nodded ' It's Lisbon , I need to know .did some thing happen you two ?' he asked and Jane raised his eyebrows ' Why ask me ask her . I hadn't seen her for three days ' .
Pike frowned ' She isnot talking to me too , she keeps saying that she needs some time to think about things ' .
Jane felt a bit satisfied by the piece of information but sad too ' I don't know how is that related to me ' .
Pike frowned and looked a little irritated ' well . you are the only thing stopping her from leaving although she is denying it ' .
Jane felt really sorry for the man ..they were both agonizing over love in different ways ..pike was agonizing over doubt .
' I can assure you that I am not doing any thing ..i want her to be with you ..i know you will take care of her better than I ever did and the only thing I want for her is to be happy ..she deserve it ' .
Pike nodded ' And I will do my best to make her happy ' and Jane smiled ..they were in agreement at this point .
' make sure she eats ..she can forget herself completely in the mess of work ..and on the bad days don't let her drink her coffe black even if she says she want it that way ..give it extra sugar ..it makes the day better , and don't ever drink too much ..she doesn't like that and make sure she sees her brothers it will make her feel better about her life and ….never take her for granted ' the unspoken words 'like I did ' weren't needed , if he was going to let her go he had to make sure that she will have a happy life even if it's another man who gets to see her smile .
'Take care of yourself .Jane ' Pike shook his hand and left looking a little more peaceful than when he came .
Jane lied down on the bed staring at the ceiling ..if letting go was the right thing to do then why did he still feel like dying in that alley ? .
…..
He went back to the office and Lisbon wasn't there 'Cho . where is Lisbon ? ' he asked and Cho shrugged so he asked Abbot casually ..trying not to give himself away and the man smiled a knowing smile ' she asked for some time to prepare for the moving ' .
Jane frowned ..so soon .he thought he would have some more time with her .but may be the sooner the less painful their farewell would be .
' There is a case in Miami and they are requesting for your help .are you okay with that ?' asked abbot and Jane nodded ' no .that's great' he needed to get away .
...
He pulled up in front of the hotel Abbot where they had reserved him a room and gasped at the beauty of the place .And wondered when did the FBI start providing such luxury for it's employees .
He took the room key and opened the door , his eyes widened at the sight of the room or to be particular the woman on the sofa inside the room ..was he having hallucinations again ..he had to be because a stunning looking Lisbon in a sleeveless pink dress was closer to a dream than to real life occurrence .
After blinking twice she was still there with amused look on her face ' Lisbon ..what ..how ? '
She walked to him slowly and stopped few inches away ' How what .Jane ' .
'Abbot said that you were moving ..preparing ..' he stumbled with the words and she grinned ' Well . I am here now Jane ..it took me some time but I am here ' .
Jane gasped ' Why ?'
She blinked her eyes misty ' Because . god help me Jane . I am not ready to let go ' .
She closed the distance between their faces and caught his lips in a soft unsure kiss but she pulled away when realized it wasn't reciprocated and Jane stood still for a moment eyes closed then opened them ' What about pike ? ' he asked in fear and anticipation .
She smiled ' I talked to him .he wasn't happy but he understands ' .
Jane grinned at the words then pulled her closer and their lips met like two pieces of a puzzle fitting perfectly together to form a perfect picture .. this time none of them let go .
Thank u for reading and sorry for any mistakes ..reviews appreciated .
