This Modern Love

Marissa and Kevin lay in bed. Kevin took a cigarette out from his deck, put it in his mouth and sparked it up. He inhaled the smooth, dry smoke. His lips slightly parted, thin wisps of smoke curled into the air.

"Why do you smoke so much?" Marissa asked. She sat there, her eyes looking at his lips and then to the cigarette that was lightly held between his fingers.

"Why do you care?". Kevin replied. the same answer he always gave to anyone who asked. Marissa reached over and snatched his deck, took one out and sparked it up. She gave him a quick grin. Teasing him.

"I don't want you to smoke so much". he said, slightly blushing, as he knew he was a hypocrite for doing so.

"Why do you care?" Marissa asked dismissively.

He didn't know what to say. Awkward silence in the late afternoon, watching a crappy tv show. He put out his cigarette and turned to Marissa. Kevin started to speak...but then stopped. Marissa, caught him in the act.

"What? Did you want to say something?" she paused, looking at him deep into his eyes. Kevin froze. There was just so much he felt like telling her, about how he felt.

Actions speak louder than words he always believed. If Marissa didn't notice or knew how he felt than obviously he wasn't properly showing her how he felt. Did he really need to voice it? Did he really need to say the words out loud?

Marissa, was caught off surprise. Again, another afternoon with Kevin had taken a turn to much more serious matters. He was about to say it. She could feel it. He was going to tell her how he felt. She was afraid to push him. She didn't want to drive him away. So she sat there, watching him, waiting, hoping for him to speak. 'Please Kevin, just tell me, just say the words' Marissa thought to herself.

Marissa waited, not taking her eyes of him. She knew how he felt, and she sure as hell knew that Kevin was aware of how she felt. She still wanted him to tell her though. She needed for him to say it... but he didn't.

Kevin leaned in and kissed her. Marissa let him, then she pulled away.

"What's wrong?" he asked. A guilty look on his face. Marissa took a deep breath.

"You know." she sighed. Kevin couldn't look at her then. He couldn't look her in the eyes. He felt guilt. He came so close to telling her.

Marissa got up. She put out her cigarette and went to grab her purse.

"Wait, Marissa, wait." Kevin didn't want her to leave. She turned around. Kevin took a deep breath.

"You know how I feel, don't you?" he asked. Marissa, expressionless.

"Yeah, thought so. But Marissa, isn't that enough? Do I really need to voice everything? It still wouldn't change anything." He waited for her to respond. Marissa put down her purse. She looked frustrated now.

"Kevin, we've been dancing around this thing for a while now. There is something between us that needs to be talked about. It's driving me insane. I can't just keep it all inside." She looked at Kevin. Her sad eyes said it all. Kevin knew she was right though.

"Kevin, it hurts me that you can't tell me you love me..."

Kevin felt his stomach flip. There it was, the elephant in the room had been revealed. Love. Kevin had to take a few deep breaths before speaking. He felt nervous.

"Babe, Marissa, you know I... You know I love you..." Kevin felt lightheaded. He sat down. That was a first, that damn L word.

Marissa sat down next to him. She wrapped her arms around him and held him close. She knew it was hard for him to admit it out loud. He so rarely spoke about anything he felt. Kevin was still stunned about saying it.

"I didn't want to make a big deal of it..." Kevin murmured.

"Yeah, and look how well that went..." Marissa added.

She was right, again. He had avoided saying it. Shying away from occasions that he felt the urge come on. He held his tongue so many times, and now, like a weight lifted off his shoulder, he had said it... and it felt good.

"Wait a minute. How come you never say it?" Kevin asked. The tables suddenly turning. Marissa opened her eyes, and felt herself blushing.

"I, well... I dunno... " Marissa was put on the spot. She didn't see this coming.

"If it was driving you insane, you could of just told me."

"Yeah well, I didn't want to scare you away..." she said sheepishly. Kevin laughed.

"You see how ridiculous this is? A four letter word that could make or break a relationship." Kevin was amused.

"Yeah well, it's out in the open now isn't it." Marissa said.

Marissa got up close to Kevin. He could feel her breath on his neck. It tingled. He tried to play it cool, his face neutral. Then she kissed him softly. her lips pressing gently against his neck.

"I love you Kevin." Marissa whispered. His heart melted. Kevin kissed her lips softly at first, Marissa's tongue eased between his lips. They kissed passionately.

"I'm so in love with you Marissa." Kevin whispered.