Keith was having a crisis. Granted, this not an unusual event for him, but this was the last straw. Lance was just so goddamn cute. And nice. And funny. And wonderful. And-
"Dude are you okay? You've been staring at that wall for a while now."
Keith looked up. Hunk and Pidge were standing in the doorway, their faces a mix of concern and amusement. "Define ok."
Pidge shrugged. "I dunno, maybe not staring off into space with a pained expression on your face." Keith grimaced. Was he really that obvious? Pidge's expression softened. "You can tell us what's wrong you know. We're your friends." Hunk nodded behind her.
He took a moment to consider it. The last time Keith had tried to ramble about his crush on Lance to Shiro, he looked like he had lost all hope for Keith. But then again he was Keith's brother. The man had ample material to come to come to that conclusion (seventh grade had been rough). Maybe it would be nice to get another source of advice.
"I have been experiencing...feelings for a while now."
Hunk sat across from Keith. It was like he could smell drama. "Do you have a crush?"
Well there went subtlety. "Yes" he sighed. "I do."
Pidge joined Hunk. "Is it on Lance?"
Dammit they knew. He'd been hoping to do a big reveal. Keith buried his face in his hands. "Also yes."
They nodded sagely. "If I may ask, how did you guys figure it out?' he asked.
"Well, you always stare at him with a lovestruck expression on your face. You smile at him all the time. You make a big deal out of the bonding moment. You were frozen for two minutes after he put his arm over your shoulder. Put it together and bibbidi bobbidi boo, the one with a crush here is you. "
"Fair enough."
"So...if you don't mind my asking, how long have you liked Lance?" asked Pidge.
"Since the Garrison."
Pidge cocked her head. "But you pretended not to know him. Why would you do that?"
"I panicked and I have no impulse control."
"True. That wasn't the best question." She sat up. "But that just means you can just ask him out!"
Keith looked at her as though she had suggested setting Coran's mustache on fire. "No,"he said incredulously. "I most certainly cannot".
Pidge frowned and turned to Hunk. "Was that just me being an inexperienced lesbian?"
Hunk looked up at the ceiling as though there was a solution written in the tiles. "No Pidge," he sighed. "Keith is just ignoring your good advice." He turned to Keith. "You and Lance are perfect for each other."
"Why can't you just ask?" Pidge adjusted her glasses. "It seems like you're making this more complicated than it has to be."
"Why didn't you talk to that cute engineer on Paelia?" Keith fired back.
Pidge turned bright red. "That was different! I'm never going to see her again and she said she was married to her work! And you're dodging the question."
Hunk looked proud. "I have trained you well, young padawan."
Pidge preened.
Keith stared at the wall. "You guys know I like facts. Cold hard evidence might mislead you, but it was ultimately you that failed to understand it or to get enough information. Evidence doesn't change. But crushes...those are hard to predict and they can cloud your judgment. They make you think someone could care about you as much as you do about them. Or they make you really want to believe that. So when you get hurt, you really should have known better. So I stick to the sidelines." Well that was enough sharing for the rest of the decade, thought Keith.
Hunk and Pidge stared at him. "Damn", muttered Pidge.
"Hypothetically, if Lance asked you out first, how would you react?" Hunk had a dangerous gleam in his eye that made Keith feel wary.
"Not gonna happen."
"We're gonna table that discussion for another day, but I said hypothetically."
"Alright well, hypothetically," Keith shot a pointed glare to Hunk and Pidge who simply smiled like the angels he knew they weren't. "I'd say yes. Because then it would mean that he'd see me I guess. And if he sees me when I'm not being obvious then it means he wants to." Keith fidgeted. "See me I mean." Okay, now he was done sharing for the decade. It wasn't completely awful though. Maybe Shiro did have a point about letting festering emotions out. Maybe.
"But what if Lance really likes you too but is too nervous to do it because he thinks you'll just reject him?"
Keith shot him another glare. "I'm not talking hypothetically anymore Hunk."
Hunk and Pidge shot each other a significant (and somewhat exasperated look). Keith decided to ignore this.
Pidge checked her watch. "We should probably head to dinner now."
Hunk looked at Keith. He sighed. "I guess."
"You guys go on. I'll catch up." Hunk and Pidge left, but not before giving each other the side-eye.
Keith just stayed on his floor for a few minutes, trying to collect his thoughts. It wasn't like him to spill so much personal stuff. But then again, this was Hunk and Pidge. He trusted them with his life, and they did the same with him. And that trust had paid off for all of them.
And even though they said the same thing as Shiro, it had been nice to get some more opinions. And while maybe his crush wasn't Keith's deepest or darkest secret, it was a good starting place.
He wanted to connect to people. He did. It was just kind of hard after spending a huge chunk of his life moving around. Shiro had been the most stable presence in his life, which was kind of depressing. Keith supposed that it only took one person vanishing from your life to make you paranoid. Keith had two; his parents.
Whatever his future, Keith did not want to end up like his dad. Steve Kogane had spent his life chasing after someone who did not love him as much as he loved them with barely any regard for his sons. Then when Keith was eleven, he had just dumped him with Shiro and his mom to go back to wandering. In hindsight, this had been a good thing. Keith could finally have a real education. And health insurance.
And family that stayed.
But old habits die hard. Keith had never had any need for forming connections when he lived with his dad. He'd just be moving on soon so why bother? Plus, the abandonment of two people who, in theory, were supposed to love you still stung. It made it hard for Keith to convince himself to make connections when his parents hadn't wanted to.
He was getting better though. Being trapped (for better or worse) on a spaceship with a small group of people didn't leave much room to escape. Keith got up from the floor and headed to the hall for dinner.
Oh no.
It seemed Lance had the same idea. Maybe if Keith just sort of floated up to him it wouldn't be weird. Hopefully. Or he could just sort of walk behind him and hope Lance wouldn't see him and call him out for his weirdness.
While Keith was stewing, Lance looked back and smiled. Keith's heart almost stopped right then and there Jesus Christ he was cute.
"Hey dude! What're you up to?"
Pining like a fool. "Oh not much. Just heading to dinner."
"Me too." At this point, they had fallen into step beside each other. Lance's hand brushed Keith's and if his heart could, it would have run around his chest screaming. "So, on a scale of one to ten, how Star Trek-ish was that last planet?"
Keith cocked his head and tried to keep his crisis off his face. "A solid six. Their tech looked almost identical."
"Right?" Their hands brushed again. Keith felt his soul leave his body. "Their laser guns looked exactly like the ones in the show."
"Yeah. And the overall aesthetic reminded me of the show," said Keith.
Lance grinned and the sight made Keith very weak. "Very true. Couldn't pin down a particular episode though."
"Me either." They were coming up on the dining hall soon. Keith was in no rush to end the conversation. Lance's hand brushed his again and he felt weak. Maybe there was hope for him, but that could wait. For now he could enjoy this moment and wait to make a move.