I've been trapped in my house all day, with no-one to talk to, and few replies to my email, other than GWML.
Then, I heard a truly mindboggling commercial on the radio, and it spawned this...
Inspired by SOUNDWAVE.com's latest radio ad...
Disclaimer: I don't own GW. I don't own the Ad that inspired this. And if you haven't heard this radio ad yet, you're probably better off that way.
Treize walks onto a stage, dressed in tux and tails. He's obviously selling something
Ladies and gentlemen, it has come to our attention that a great deal of people are having trouble choosing how to spend their time. Interestingly enough, the most difficult choice, and consequently the largest amount of time, is between Gundam Wing, and "Humping a Pillow."
Treize coughs politely, as he raises an eyebrow
Therefore, we've set up a small comparison of the benefits of both choices, in hopes you, the listener, will make the proper one.
First, the benefits of humping a pillow:
1. Practice, Practice, Practice. It does make perfect, eh, Dragon?
Wufei nosebleeds offstage
Wufei: Kisama!!
Treize: We'll discuss that later. Continuing, then:
2. Fullfillment of sexual fantasies. Well, I can't really say a feather pillow was ever something I desired, but who can say what you might enjoy?
3. 25 minutes of fun. I'm surprised they're done that quickly...
Of course, this not to say that Humping a Pillow is completely risk free.
You have the constant dangers of:
Breakage. And believe me, feathers can scratch. Your parents could find out. Never a good thing. And most importantly, constant laundring of your linens. They wear out quickly, and you have to try to explain things to your parents when they buy new sheets, leading right back to the second problem.
On the other hand, Gundam Wing has the following benefits...
1. A dramatic, compelling storyline populated by powerful and dynamic characters like me.
Tell me, wouldn't you like to be able to observe the lives and desires of men like me as we try to save the world?
2. Fully Functional Bishounen. I can attest that this benefit is a major plus. And unlike a pillow, they never break or lose their appeal.
3. Rabid Fandom. While this seems like an odd benefit, the GW fandom pumps out so much beautiful artwork, fanfiction, and homage websites that you'll always be able to find what you desire.
Duo: Especially if me and Heero are involved!
Heero latches onto Duo's Braid
Heero: Mine. Baka.
Drags Duo Offstage
4. 24 hour access. You can always have Gundam Wing, over the internet, at any time, on Cable twice a day, and at your beck and call if you own DVD or VHS copies. And if your parents barge in on you enjoying Gundam Wing, then it's merely a cartoon.
glances offstage
Unless you happen to be reading about the things that Heero and Duo are doing right now.
5. Gundam Wing Never says no.
Especially Duo.
Duo (Offstage): Hey hey hey!! I heard tha-Heero! I didn't say you could stop!
Treize: I rest my case.
If these benefits weren't enough to convince you that Gundam Wing is a far better way to spend your time than humping a pillow, let me leave you with this final thought.
Lady Une is wearing her glasses. Do you want to tell her that you don't have time for her right now?
The End
Blind Zen Archer
Please send comments to: BZArcher@gundam.com