Author note - I recently re-read the Wizard of Oz books by L Frank Baum and got this weird idea to do a parody of it. I bounced around some different animes that I could use, but landed on Haikyuu. Basically because I love all of those volleyball dorks and I'm kind of on a Haikyuu kick recently. This is strictly a parody for fun and I do not own Wizard of Oz or Haikyuu. I hope if you read it, you get some enjoyment out of it. Thanks!
Kageyama was alone in his house. He preferred it this way. It was quiet and peaceful being alone and that's how he was going to weather the raging storm outside. Alone. He opened his fridge and pulled out his last lonely bottle of strawberry milk making a mental note to go buy more tomorrow if the weather let up. It had been raging nonstop all day. Wind whipping and howling. Walls of his house shaking. He shrugged, kicked off his slippers and cuddled into the blankets of his bed.
He woke to birds chirping and bright cheerful sunshine pouring through his window. He cringed at how bright it was. He got up and shut the curtain. At least it wasn't storming anymore. He could finally walk to the little convenient store and stock up on more tasty treats and strawberry milk. He threw on a light blue t-shirt over his slim toned body and a pair of jeans that rode comfortably on his slim hips. He then ventured outside.
(What the hell?)
His dark steely blue eyes took in the scenery. It was like a rainbow threw up all over the place. Colors so bright assaulted his senses and he was pretty sure he was going to be sick if he wasn't already. (Maybe I should have checked the expiration date on that milk last night…or I'm just trapped in an awful nightmare…a really awful color filled nightmare). He grimaced and made a gagging face.
His midnight black hair swayed in the cool breeze that was blowing as he looked around at his surroundings. He watched as a tall lanky guy with spiky red hair walked away from where he was standing. The guy was whistling and it was grating on poor Kageyama's color shot nerves.
"Oi you, red head! Come here I have some questions" he shouted at the back of the lanky man.
The tall red head turned towards him and looked him head to foot with down turned ruby red eyes. He then proceeded to shrug and kept meandering on his way.
"Oi what the hell?! I'm talking to you" Kageyama yelled again. (What a complete and utter asshole! Who the hell does this guy think he is?) He started to run after him, but then tripped over a pair of legs that were…were sticking out from underneath his house. He stopped in surprise and looked at the manly looking legs with wide shocked eyes. His mind blanked as he tried to process the fact that there was a man smashed underneath the cement footing of his tiny home.
"Oh don't mind Tendo. He's probably just off to tell the rest of his team that you killed their Captain by means of…house slaughter I guess."
Kageyama turned to face the new cheerful voice next to him that seemingly came out of nowhere. It belonged to a tiny man with spiky dark brown hair with a blonde-ish toned patch in front. The short man had his hands on his hips and a giant smile plastered on his face. He was dressed in an orange attire with black stripes down the side. (Where the hell did this pixy sprite come from?)
"Thanks for that by the way. Ushijima was a complete buzz kill. I'm Nishinoya. It's a pleasure to meet you" the short pixy sprite greeted him as he stuck out his hand.
Kageyama glared at the outstretched hand. (Nope. Not touching that thing. I have no idea where it's been and I might catch some fatal glitter disease.)
"Where the hell am I and what the hell is going on? I didn't just kill that man. Did I?" Kageyama chose to ignore the outstretched hand, but the tiny man named Nishinoya didn't seem to mind and just put it back on his hip. Smile still firmly in place.
"Um…you did, but it's ok. It's not like you did it on purpose right? So you're not really a murderous lunatic, right?"
Kageyama turned towards the new hesitant voice and looked up into the face of a tall broad shouldered man. He had brown hair that was tied in a lose ponytail. His gaze was averted and a tiny unsure smile was playing on his mouth. His cheeks were tinted pink. His hand was scratching the back of his head and Kageyama could make out the firm muscles in the bent arm. Like Nishinoya his outfit was black and orange, but seemed to be reversed in order.
(Just my luck a dumb pixy sprite and a blubbering giant. Why aren't there any normal people around?) Kageyama gave them both little glares and looked around again searching in vain for someone…anyone…else to talk to.
"Asahi of course he's not some axe murder! I mean just look at the man. He looks like a cuddly little dolphin" Nishinoya said lightly.
"Dolphins are not cuddly" Kageyama responded. (Really this guy seems like a moron).
"Sure they are. Haven't you ever seen them frolicking in the water with their shark and whale friends?"
"There is so many things wrong with that sentence…" Kageyama trailed off exasperated and looked around again.
He had to be dreaming. Maybe if he just locked himself back in his house and tried to go back to sleep he would wake back up in the normal world not this world that looks like rainbow vomit. On that thought he turned away from the two curiously annoying men and started back towards the door to his house.
"Oh hello Nishinoya and Asahi. What brings you two this far East?" a new voice inquired.
Kageyama glanced one more time over his shoulder to see who the new voice belonged to. There were two new faces behind him. They appeared to have come out of nowhere as he hadn't heard anybody else approach.
The first man was broad shouldered with short dark brown hair. He had a reassuring smile when he looked at the three men in front of him including Kageyama. He gave off a commanding aura which was reflected in his formal looking clothing. The coloring was similar to Nishinoya's and Asahi's being made up of black and orange.
The second man was of a slender build with grayish hair. His hazel eyes reflected only pure goodness. If Kageyama was honest with himself, he would have to admit that the man almost seemed angelic with the soothing aura that he exuded. He wore clothes similar to the first man again in the same color pattern. (Do they not have any other colored clothing in this place? What's with the Halloween theme?). The man's eyes lingered curiously on the raven haired man that he had never seen before, but was assuming was the cause of the information that they had just gathered about the Captain in the East.
"Nothing in particular Sawamura-san. We were just coming to talk to some of the Shiratorizawa team about some stuff…" Nishinoya said evasively and scratched the back on his neck.
"W-we weren't doing anything really I swear!" Asahi stammered. His face paled and a bead of sweat trickled down his forehead.
"I suppose that Tanaka is somewhere around here as well? I haven't seen him today…" The gray haired man's attention changed to the two other men standing off to the side of the house. There was a weird glint taking place in his kind eyes and Kageyama shivered involuntarily.
"Umm…yeah of course. He'll be back momentarily. He had some stuff to take care of…" Nishinoya trailed off again not quite meeting the gaze of the newcomers.
"This 'stuff' isn't anything bad I hope. I would prefer not to clean up anymore messes for a while" the man with dark brown hair said with a layer of authority in the tone.
"N-no of course not!" Asahi shivered and stood behind the shorter man.
Kageyama rolled his eyes and snorted. (What are you trying to do? Hiding behind a midget isn't going to do you any good. What an idiot). The noise reverted the newcomers' attention back onto him and Kageyama met their curious looks with a glare of his own.
"I'm afraid we haven't met before. I'm Sugawara and this is Sawamura the Captain of Karasuno" Sugawara said in introduction and stuck his hand out.
(These two seem reasonable enough I guess). Kageyama shrugged and returned the handshake this time. Shock registered on his face for a moment by the iron grip of the other man's hand. He quickly schooled his features back into his natural frown.
"Kageyama. Where did you say you were from and where the hell am I?" Kageyama greeted them as friendly as his broody spirit would allow him to.
"We are from Karasuno in the North and you are currently in Shiratorizawa in the East" Sawamura clarified. Kageyama furrowed his brows in confusion. He had never heard of this Karasuno and Shirato-a-whatever the hell the guy had just said.
"Yeah those places don't exist in Japan. What kind of game are you two playing at?" Kageyama looked at them with clear suspicion on his face.
"Japan? Where's that?" Nishinoya piped up again. Kageyama rolled his eyes again and looked at the deluded pixy sprite man.
"I've never heard of Japan" Asahi added.
"Neither have I" Sugawara continued.
"Nope. There's no such place as Japan in the world of Haikyuu" Sawamura stated clearly confident in his statement.
(Haikyuu? Where the fuck is that? I really should have checked that expiration date. I'm clearly stuck in some kind of nightmare) Kageyama continued to glare at the four men in confusion.
"Not to change the subject or anything, but since you have so thoroughly smashed the Captain of Shiratorizawa, you might as well put on the Ruby Sneakers of Champions" Sugawara stated as he pointed at the red sparkly shoes that were now just lying on the ground. The manly legs seemed to have vanished into thin air leaving only the shoes behind.
Kageyama bulked at the idea and made a gagging face. (Oh hell no. Those shoes look like they belong to some 11 year girl with a glitter obsession).
"Yeah that is not happening. Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to go back to bed and try to wake up from this god awful nightmare" Kageyama grumbled and started back to the front door of his house.
Unfortunately his movement was stopped by the iron firm grip of Sugawara. Kageyama looked at the hand and then looked at the man it belonged to. That weird glint was back in Sugawara's kind eyes and Kageyama felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up as a shiver ran through his body. At this point he wasn't sure if he was looking at a demon disguised as an angel.
"You really should put the shoes on. They rightfully belong to you now since you have bested Ushijima. They hold untold magical powers… so I've been told. It would be a shame if you just discarded them" Sugawara stated calmly, but Kageyama felt that it was more of an order than a suggestion.
"You've got to be kidding me? Look at them. There god awful looking with all that red glittering crap. What kind of self-respecting person would wear them?" Kageyama glowered at the gray haired man who at this point he decided was just as weird as the pixy and the giant.
"If he doesn't want them, I'll be happy to take them off of his hands…or feet so to speak" Nishinoya volunteered cheerfully.
"Now now Nishinoya you shouldn't try to take something that doesn't belong to you" Sawamura scolded lightly with a shake of his head. Nishinoya gave a little grumble and Asahi put a comforting hand on his shoulder.
"Just put the shoes on. They're supposed to be extremely comfortable. I've heard it's like walking on clouds all of the time" Sugawara said as he looked at Kageyama with a friendly smile. However, there was a layer of iron in his cheerful voice.
"I bet they'd look really nice on you" Asahi volunteered with a shy smile on his face.
"It's only right that you wear them" Sawamura stated with that same commanding tone he had used on Nishinoya and Asahi earlier. (Oh for the love of god. These people are obnoxious).
"Fine. Fine I'll put on these stupid shoes if it will shut you all up" Kageyama grumbled and plopped down on the ground. He slipped off his own white sneakers and slipped on the obscene red sneakers instead. When he stood up, he had to admit they were actually really comfortable.
"Good choice Kageyama. You truly are wise for your young years aren't you" Sugawara slapped him on the back in comradery. Kageyama staggered forward almost losing his balance by the sheer strength of the supposed friendly slap. He glared at the smiling demon.
"Well not that this hasn't been fun, but I would really prefer to return back to Japan now" Kageyama grumbled.
The four men looked at each other and then started talking amongst themselves. They were trying to come up with a solution to their new broody friend. They really did feel bad that he was stuck here and not in this Japan place that he seemed so fond of. Nishinoya received a glare when he stated that maybe Kageyama wouldn't be so grouchy and bristley if he was back home. Kageyama was torn between a cynical humor at his predicament and just pure frustration having to listen to these morons.
"Well I think his best bet is to go to Kuroo since he seems to know everything" Sawamura finally stated.
"Oh that's a brilliant idea Sawamura-san! You're a genius" Nishinoya agreed readily.
"Yep. That makes the most sense. Kageyama you should go see Kuroo. He's the Captain of Nekoma and lives in the dead center of Haikyuu. All you have to do is follow this brick path and you will eventually get there" Suguwara explained happily to the now extremely pouty broody man who, besides the occasional snort, has stood by silently listening to them.
Kageyama wasn't sure if this Kuroo really could help him or if he would end up being a moron like the rest of them, but really what did he have to lose at this point? He shrugged and gave them a nod.
"Alright. Thanks. How will I know when I find the right place to see this Kuroo guy?"
"You'll know. He lives in the ruby city of Nekoma. It shines and sparkles because of all the rubies that were used to build it" Asahi stated. (Great more red sparkly shit. This place is just freaking peachy).
"Oh and be careful Kageyama. Oikawa, who is Captain of Aobajosai in the West, is kind of a loose canon and is really, I mean really, obsessed with those sneakers you're wearing. He will probably try to do anything to get them, but you can't let him. He'll be just god awful to deal with if he does. Good luck" Sugawara both warned Kageyama and then proceeded to give him a wet sloppy kiss on the cheek.
Kageyama jerked out of reach of the gray haired demon with a look of surprise. It quickly morphed into a look of disgust as he wiped at his cheek trying to remove the lingering saliva.
"Oi! What the actual fuck was that?" Kageyama demanded.
"It was for luck and protection. You didn't think I would just let you go off to battle without some form of protection did you?" Sugawara asked innocently with puppy dog eyes.
"I don't need protection and I am not going off to battle! You people are freaking nuts. I'm out of here" Kageyama growled and stomped off.
"Have fun!" Nishinoya shouted after him.
"Do you think he'll be able to withstand Oikawa's wrath?" Asahi asked quietly when Kageyama was out of earshot.
"Only time will tell. He seems resourceful at least" Sawamura stated wistfully. "Anyways back to the original topic, I believe you two were telling me what you were doing here?"
Asahi blanched and Nishinoya looked sheepish. They then glanced at each other and started backing away slowly from their Captain and Vice-Captain while very plausible excuses fell from their lips.