With a View to a Kill, Come Undone

by SnarkItOut

He knows what he likes—boobs, high heels, skirts, and long hair. Then Kurt Hummel screws everything up.

Title: With a View to a Kill, Come Undone

Author: SnarkyGirl101

Rating: PG

Summary: He knows what he likes—boobs, high heels, skirts, and long hair. Then Kurt Hummel screws everything up.

Spoilers: Anything up until the Sue Sylvester Shuffle episode.

Word Count: 2,290

A/N: I'm still trying to figure out Dave Karofsky, and the SB episode opened up a plethora of Dave development. Honestly, he's rivaling Kurt in how much I like him. The title is from Duran Duran's "A View to a Kill" and "Come Undone." I swear, Duran Duran has been my muse for Dave, it fits pretty well. Also, much love to heygirlie for being my beta! :'D

He wasn't gay, okay? He did not dig guys. Boobs, high heels, skirts, long hair. That was totally what he was into. Especially those high heels. They were called flamingos? Stilettos? Wait, kitten heels, he remembers that from watching some show where the guy got skewered with them. But yeah, girls were totally his thing.

So when he starts to zero in on Hummel, he reasons it's because he's too girly. He's messing with what makes a guy a guy, and a girl a girl. Girls should be the only ones in corsets. Girls should be the only ones in kitten heels. Girls should be the only ones with high-pitched voices. Girls should be the only ones that care about chick flicks. So Hummel had to be taught he was doing it wrong.

He starts to realize, okay, something's wrong with himself. Before throwing a slushie at Hummel, he checks out that pert rear of his – it was pretty nice. But he shook it off, telling himself he mistook Hummel for a girl. C'mon, the little fairy was probably wearing girl's jeans to begin with. So he shakes it off. He was into boobs, high heels, and long hair.

He happens to walk by the choir room, just to look in for a scoff, and he sees the crazy wigs they've got on. Hummel was playing with the long blonde locks, twirling them, and it actually looks kind of good on his head. What was he thinking? No, it did not look good, it just doesn't look right. He did not think Hummel looks pretty in that wig. He did not like Hummel, and even if he did, he was pretty much a girl any ways, right? So that didn't make it gay. He was into boobs, high heels, and skirts.

Then Hummel comes in dressed like a truck driver, talking in a lower range and grimacing right and left, all fake manliness as he held hands with Brittany. And he just happens to be walking by the choir room, okay? Not like he goes there to see if he was singing or anything. But he's walking by there, and he swears he hears Hummel singing "Pink Houses." Now that can't be right, Hummel probably doesn't even know that song, let alone what it's about. But sure enough, he peeks in, and he's still in his trucker clothing and singing in a range he didn't even know that Hummel could hit. Was that a growl? Dave didn't know, but whatever it was, it wasn't supposed to sound good to him. No, he reasons, he was probably just thinking of something else. Not how Hummel's tongue seemed to be poking his cheeks out and especially not that last gravelly note. No, it was better to forget that ever happened.

Then the glee club seems to go even crazier with the whole Gaga fiasco, and seriously, it's going too far. The only thing he knew about that weird freak shemale was she obviously did not want to pick up her telephone. And she dressed all funny. Obviously she must be like some sort of God to those losers. So they mess with them a bit, but Hummel gets on them. "Excuse me, were you dropped on your heads? Pick on me, that's fine, but don't throw around a girl." The only thing going through Dave's mind was the fact that Hummel was looking him straight in the eyes, all thanks to those freakin' hooker shoes. Hummel is actually looking down at him with disgust, and doing a much better job of sneering from the same height. This is an entirely different angle he's never seen before, and it kind of freaks him out, wig and weird glitter mole notwithstanding. Hummel is looking into his eyes, and he's looking back, and he never quite realized that his eyes changes colors, it's kind of nice—anyways, it just freaks him out. And it makes his eyes tired. He just doesn't want to see this, it's too much. And once Hummel yells that line about Supercuts, getting all gravelly at the end, well, he just had to say some kind of a comeback. And it was true—they loved walk-ins. So it felt like a victory to him, and he tried to forget how the silvery fabric hugged his chest or the heels stretched his calves. Because he was into boobs and skirts.

He seriously thought that the summer would mean that this sick fascination he had with Hummel would stop. That was two whole months to get a girlfriend and forget. But every date he went on, he would find them lacking. One's skin looked like a skin cancer patient just waiting to happen, another's voice was too rough, and none of them had the fashion sense that Humm—no, he did not think that. Anyways, the right girl had just not come along yet. He was into boobs and skirts. He knew it, really.

But then school started up again. "Next time, instead of posting an anonymous comment online, say what you have to say to my face." Hummel is dressed as odd as ever, but when he throws that first slushie, he misses his face entirely. He's just lucky that Azmio was able to get the head shot. Dave couldn't figure out why he kept missing until he realized that Hummel had gotten taller. As he watches him in the hallways, he noticed they were almost eye-to-eye now. That was not good. But other problems were even bigger.

One day Hummel struts into school and he's wearing a freakin' skirt. It's ridiculous, the way it swishes around, and flounces and he walks next to his geeky friends. Despite the fact that Hummel wears pants underneath, it still seems to move just like a skirt would, and it distracts Dave like none other. And it's so frustrating, because he does not like Hummel. And then they do that assembly, that Britney Spears song? That was really hot, not that he was looking at Hummel. He was totally looking at Santana and Brittany, even Rachel because they were obviously smokin', judging by what Azmio was saying. The motions of the hats were highly suggestive, and he couldn't help as his gaze drifted to Hummel's hat, twisting as he moved his hips. When the song ends and the alarm goes off, he was grateful he didn't have to talk to Azmio about who was the hottest, because it was probably obvious any ways.

But the whole eye problems was starting to pop up again with the fact that Hummel could look him straight in the eyes after he wiped the cold syrup off his face. What was even more troubling was when Hummel would lick his lips to get rid of the residue. So instead of direct eye contact and darting tongues that slushies could bring, he started to push him into lockers.

That idea starts to become dumb very quick. He finds that the contact allows him to feel Hummel's warmth and muscles a little more than he had anticipated. Then, the day he yells at him—"What is your problem?"—he's a little dumbstruck for a moment. Hummel's voice is still very high, but it had so much frustration. Honestly, this game of cat and mouse (more like bully and the bullied) was starting to get old.

So when Hummel finally confronts him, he's slightly relieved. Throwing that comment about the girl's locker room is a last ditch effort to convince himself he's not gay. So when he kisses him, the dam breaks. It's like every frustration he's had in the past few years is going into this—'don't you see what you do to me?'

'Maybe this will work, maybe he'll understand,' is the thought running through his head. His whimper, holding onto some hope that Kurt would get it— he leans in once more to be pushed away roughly.

He didn't get it.

He runs away, angry at himself when he's finally recognizing that he is gay. He's gay; he hates boobs, high heels and long hair. All he really wants is Kurt Hummel. He'll never have him.

And Kurt will never understand.

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He knows he's pushing it too far once he starts to wink and run his fingers down Hummel's chest. But he can't seem to stop. He's had a taste, and he's not sure he can give up his addiction. He knows he's going about this wrong, but how else can he? Hummel obviously doesn't want him; it's clear from his face. And bringing his perfect prissy boyfriend to tell him he's not alone? What a lie. He's gay and very much alone.

Getting called into the office is the first obvious sign that things aren't going as planned. When he said he'd killed him, he didn't mean it—it was said because of what would happen if he didn't do anything. He's scared, he can admit to that. He had to say something to make sure he wouldn't tell anyone other than that shellacked smarmy prep boy. But to go to the office? Sure, he realized that Burt Hummel was very protective (now obvious from the slight bruising on his neck – "You like picking on people? Why don't you try me?"), but he didn't think he'd call him into the office. Expelled, until further notice. He's screwed, unless his parents bail him out. He knows they will, but the disappointment will fog the house like a foul stench, suffocating him. He loves his parents—he doesn't want to be anything other than the perfect son. But he's a bully and gay on top of that. He's nowhere close.

Hummel's gone, just like that. He comes back and finds his temptation is gone. He'll be free to be as straight as he can be until high school is done. So he throws around more gay slurs and jokes than ever before to cover up. "That's funny Karofsky, how you're calling everyone gay all the time, but you never seem to have a girlfriend." Stupid Hudson, pointing out something he hoped wouldn't be noticed. So he makes sure he pays Hudson back for that, and now it's led to this.

The Glee club. The club not even the losers want to be in, meaning that makes the people in it almost lower than scum. The dancing and singing seems all too much. But then he starts to get the hang of it. "You're actually really good." Mr. Schuester would say that? He actually can sing and dance? He doesn't know why, but this makes him happy. He can be something other than a bully and the closeted gay; everyone here is with him.

The slushie scares him more than it hurts. 'Do they know? How would they have figured it out?'So he quits. It's not worth it if people are going be suspicious of him. No matter what Schue says, he just doesn't have it.

Going out to the field, he sees they've already started. It looks amazing. And he could have been a part of it. "Under the moonlight, you see a sight that almost stops your heart. You try to scream, but terror takes the sound before you make it." He hears the people cheering, and is astonished to see that people think this is cool. Looking back again, he now is overcome with the need to join in, to be a part of this. There's still time, isn't there? Putting on the jersey, he dashes and quickly jumps into the dance movements. This is exhilarating. At this moment, no one is afraid or suspicious of him, they're clapping and cheering. No one cares about sexuality and in the rush of it all, Hudson and the others accept him. He doesn't feel alone, he feels like a part of something. Maybe football was supposed to feel that way, but this number had the team more in sync than they ever were at drills. He likes this.

If only it could last. Asking him to join Glee club? "I was thinking that maybe we could go together, to Dalton to apologize to him." His main fear is seeing Hummel with his new friends, in a place that he obviously likes more than here, where Dave is. But let's be realistic—everyone will forget the dance, things will go back to normal. Better to face the facts now and not be found out later. He might not be much of a bully anymore, but in the end, he was going to be gay and alone. All he could look forward to was getting out of Lima, where he could be everything he wanted to be with no qualms or fears.

He couldn't have what Kurt and helmet head have. That guy could have Kurt. But he knew he could never have Kurt himself, it just could never happen after the bullying. Kurt doesn't understand, he never will.

Until then, he'll just have to go it alone.