A/N: Okay, so this is my first fic on here. I'm not really an experienced writer. I've done a few drabbles and stuff but looking over everything, I decided to post this one. I'm still trying to find a style that suits me, but hopefully I'll be able to stick to the same general style throughout but please tell me what you think! Tell me how to improve since I'm still kind of new.
Rated T for language. May change in the future.
Disclaimers: I do not own Pitch Perfect or any of the cast/characters.
I'm never going to see her again. It had been six years. Six stinking years and I return to find that she's long gone. And I've broken my promise. The promise that kept me alive with the hope of seeing her again after all these years. The promise that is destroying me now. I stand across the street from her old apartment, staring in the window of the abandoned building as I remember that promise.
We were walking through the park hand in hand with our fingers intertwined. She looked at me with bright blue eyes and I couldn't help but smile despite the bad news I'm waiting to tell her. She always did that to me. No matter how I was feeling, whenever she looked at me I just couldn't help but smile and feel happy. It's as though she could tell something was wrong and she wanted to make it better. Her eyes could do that. They were just so bright and entrancing that I just always got lost in them and forgot about all my problems, even just for a minute as I let myself get lost in cerulean blue pools. This time, however, I was shaken from my reverie a little earlier than usual. She offered a smile, sensing that something was off, and gave my hand a reassuring squeeze, but I didn't return it. Instead, I just let out a deep sigh and headed towards the nearest bench, tugging her along to sit beside me.
"What's wrong, Becs?" she asked, her eyes now clouded with concern and tone laced with worry. She'd never seen this before. Every time she smiled, I smiled back, but not this time. She knew something was wrong. She placed her free hand over our intertwined ones and looked in to my eyes, waiting for my answer. I was a little hesitant, I wanted to put it off for as long as possible. I didn't want to have to tell her. I had really hoped that I could just leave a note on her dresser explaining everything, but that wouldn't cut it. I couldn't run. Not this time. Chloe deserved to be told directly, not through a stupid note. "Please tell me." She pressed and it honestly sounded like she was begging, but Chloe Beale didn't beg, she was just concerned.
Well, Mitchell. Better get it over with. Now or never. I took a deep breath and finally looked up from our joined hands. I opened my mouth to speak, but my breath caught when our eyes met. Her eyes. Wow, those eyes. Still so bright, but shining with an emotion I had not yet seen from her. But beautiful none the less. I reluctantly swallowed the lump forming in my throat. I had to do this. I was sure the poor girl sitting in front of me would combust with worry and fright if I didn't speak soon.
"I- I'm moving." I managed to choke out, but it was barely above a whisper and I'm pretty sure my voice cracked.
"When are you leaving?" she asked simply. She did a good job remaining calm, but I could tell she was internally panicking. The thing about me was that although I was closed off and socially awkward, I could read people pretty well.
"Next week. My dad- he got a new job. He's gonna be the professor at Barden University. He was talking to my mom after he got the job, and they decided that I had to go to college." I'd never wanted to go to college anyway. I was going to be a DJ. I didn't need college. "And it had to be Barden so my dad can keep an eye on me to make sure I'm actually doing my studies." I explained. I was trying not to cry. There was still more to come. And I knew for sure that Chloe wouldn't like it.
"Where's Barden?" Chloe asked now. At least she was keeping her questions short. And keeping herself calm, which is more than I can say for myself.
I took another deep breath. This was the tricky part. She wouldn't like this at all. How was I supposed to tell her? Would she break up with me once I did? No. Chloe wasn't like that. She'd understand. She wouldn't be mad. She wouldn't flip out like I'd imagined to many times. Right? I mean, this is Chloe Beale we're talking about. Of course I was wrong! She wouldn't be mad. Chloe Beale didn't get mad. Not with me anyway. Everything would be fine.
"It's in Atlanta."
"Atlanta?! Beca that's all the way across the fucking country!" Okay, I was wrong. She's mad. She's freaking out and she even added in a cuss. That was unlike Chloe. I'd have to be careful now and try and stay calm. How the hell can mentally retarded Beca Mitchell keep calm when the usual cool and collected Chloe Beale is freaking the fuck out? Okay, Beca. Deep breaths. I can do this. "How the hell are we supposed to see each other? How long will you be there?" Great. She's now asking more questions. Ugh, can't anything ever just be simple? Apparently not.
"Well.. I can come visit on breaks. Or you can come visit me. And It's not like I'll be gone forever. It's only a four year course I'm taking."
"Only? Only four years? You expect me to only see you for like one week every couple months for four years and everything to be alright?" Oh god. She's now standing in front of me. Yelling. I quickly look around to see if anyone is staring but thankfully, there's no one around. As I return my gaze to her, I see that her face is now as red as her hair. Well, that just shows how angry she is.
"I know it's not ideal and I know there are gonna be some problems, but it's my dad. You know it's the last thing I want. I mean, he'll be moving there with the step monster, if I had a fucking say in the matter I'd be on the first plane to LA." I almost instantly replied, not really thinking about what I was saying until I saw the furious look in Chloe's eyes. Before I had a chance to correct what I said, she was yelling again.
"Oh, so what your saying is that if you were given the chance, you'd move across the fucking country to LA and still leave me? Good to know you fucking care." Oh God.
"No, that's not what I meant." I tried to defend myself. She gave me an expectant look and I nervously offered a small smile but she just crossed her arms and tapped her foot, obviously impatient. I didn't really know what to say. I'd thought about it tons, but it was a lot harder to put it in to words. So I decided to just say exactly what was I was thinking. "Moving to LA is my dream. You know that. Three months ago, If given the choice I'd have gone straight to LA. But now? I dunno. I wouldn't have minded leaving everything behind, but I have so much to lose now."
She was silent for a long time. I looked down at my shoes and didn't look back up. I was afraid. Afraid that if I looked up, I'd see those deep blue eyes full of seething anger. But if I'd have just looked up, I'd see that they were in fact soft and full of love. Chloe let out a sigh as she relaxed her apparently tense muscles and sat beside me again. She didn't say anything. We just left each other to our thoughts. What was I supposed to say anyway? There wasn't anything else for me to say, so I simply delved in to my thoughts. I was thinking about the short two months Chloe and I had been together. It wasn't long, just a month after we met, but she had a way of just breaking down my walls and implanting herself in my life. And once she was there, it was hard to get her out. Not that I wanted to. I had grown accustomed to her lack of personal space and I couldn't help but think how I would miss her invasive, bright and bubbly personality while I was gone. Reality struck me and I was pulled out of my thoughts as she gently placed a hand on my own. It was a little awkward at first, we had just been practically screaming at each other after all, but after a couple minutes of silence, I was a little more relaxed as I noticed that Chloe had calmed down quite a bit. She let out a long breath before tilting her head to rest on my shoulder and I couldn't help but smile. It felt so natural as I breathed in her warm scent. The faint scent of strawberries filled my nostrils and if possible, my smile grew a little. It was the strawberry scented shampoo I got her. She wouldn't stop complaining that my shampoo was nice, so I bought her some too.
"I'm gonna miss you." she muttered as she nuzzled further in to the crook of my neck.
I sighed. I was going to miss her too. A lot. "I love you." Shit. My eyes went wide and my muscles tensed. Should I have said that? Neither of us had said it before and I wasn't sure if she even felt the same. I mentally kicked myself as I felt her move both her head and hand, but I felt that I immediately missed the contact. I took a deep breath as I slowly turned to look at her. I expected her to run, to look at me as if I was a piece of shit on the sidewalk. Instead, I saw a beaming smile and I had to be slightly confused. Before I could process anything however, I felt plump lips pressed against my own. My eyes closed on instinct and my arms snaked around Chloe's waist as I turned slightly so I was slightly more comfortable.
It felt good to kiss Chloe again. The sensation of Chloe's tongue massaging my own always sent me numb. It sent electric waves pulsing through my body. It was something that I couldn't explain. We had not long ago shared our first kiss and it was the best day of my life thus far and every time our lips touched, even if it would be just for a brief moment, I felt myself become genuinely happy. Chloe Beale did that to me. And I wouldn't change her for anything.
When we finally pulled away, she was wearing that bright toothy smile again and her cerulean blue eyes sparkled with pure joy. I was sort of expecting her to say it back, but her face scrunched up, her smile fell and her eyes clouded over. Oh boy. I had a feeling that she was having second thoughts and didn't really love me after all. With that thought in mind, I was about to stand and bolt. Leave everything behind me. It would save the pain. But before I could, she grabbed my hand and intertwined our fingers. It's as if she could sense my doubt, because she offered me a small smile that left me immensely confused. Okay. I was good at reading people, but Chloe was complicated and quite often left me confused. It's part of the mystery that attracted me to her in the first place. I mean, I know I have my secrets and I'm closed off, and I'm a mystery to most people, but no one has really took the time to look past all that to find the real me. Chloe did that. That made her different. That made her dangerous. But I didn't care. She made me feel things I'd never felt before. I was scared as hell, but strangely enough, I was alright with that.
"Promise me. Promise me that you won't forget me. Promise you'll text or call every night so we can talk. Promise we'll Skype so I can see your face. Promise you'll visit if you can. Promise me you'll come back." She finally spoke and suddenly, realization hit me like a brick square in the face. She was scared. Heck, I was scared. We were both scared that I'd move across the country, we'd not have time to talk and end up breaking what was probably the best thing in both our lives. It was definitely the best thing in my life. We were scared that I wouldn't come back because let's face it, we both knew that when things got tough, I would be the one to run away, or actually just stay away.
I knew these promises would kill me. She was asking me to promise something that wasn't me. But for Chloe, I'd do anything. So after a few moments thinking, a debate between two mini Beca's on each of my shoulders, I gave a slow nod. She instantly wrapped her arms around me and pulled me in close. I returned the hug, my own short arms wrapping around her frame and rubbing soothing circles on her back. I could hear slight sniffles, and I knew that she was either beginning to cry, or trying to not cry. I felt a tear of my own drip down my cheek. Ironic. I'd hadn't cried since I was twelve, when my dad walked out on my mom to be with another woman, and I didn't plan to soon, but then again, this was Chloe Beale and Chloe Beale seemed to bring out a different side of me.
I gently moved a strand of fiery orange hair from Chloe's face and pressed my lips to her ear. "I promise I'll never leave you. I could be on the other side of the freaking world, but I'll still be with you. Always." I whispered before pressing a light kiss to her cheek.
She grinned, her pearl white teeth on clear display. With a satisfied nod, she took my hand once more. Our fingers were instantly intertwined and I couldn't help but smile. It was so natural for us now, but before I met Chloe, if anyone even tried to touch me I would have punched them square in the face. I felt Chloe's hand under my chin, guiding me to look at her.
"I love you too, Becs." And that's all I needed to hear. I didn't care how people saw me. I didn't care that I always ran when things get tough. I didn't care that I was going to be on the other side of the country for four years. I would make this work. I had to because I wasn't willing to lose Chloe. She was my everything and I was determined to get through this. I would return after four years to be with Chloe.
I let out a sigh. I quickly flipped up my hood on the dark blue hoodie I was wearing and shoved my hands in to the pocket of my black skinny jeans and turned around to head home as it began to rain. I had no idea why she left. I had no idea where she'd gone. But I would find out. My mother still lived here, and as far as I was aware, they had begun to talk a little more once I went to Barden. The café that Chloe used to work at on weekends was still also here, so I was sure that someone would know where she went. I would find out what happened to the first girl I fell in love with. But for now, I would head home and try and get some sleep. It had been a busy day and a long flight back to my teenage neighbourhood, just a few miles out of Brooklyn. Not the best neighbourhood but I had been born and raised here. It was home.
I had already decided that since it was getting quite late, I would talk to my mom for a while once I got home, then go to bed and unpack my things in the morning before starting my search for Chloe. Yea. That was the plan. My mom had already told me that she wanted to hear all about Barden. Oh, if only she knew what happened in college. Of course I wouldn't tell her everything. I was ashamed of what happened. She would be too. I knew my mother. She had high standards and I was used to being her little disappointment. Her little mistake. But I wouldn't be able to tell her. Not yet anyway. Not until I manage to at least sort my shit out.
I hadn't even realized that I'd been walking for a while, but I was already stood at the fence surrounding my mother's house. I quietly opened the gate, knowing that its creak was rather loud and I didn't want to wake the neighbours. A sly grin began to grow on my face as I made my way to the front door. Let the fun begin.
A/N: Please review. I'd love to hear what you think so that I can improve in the future. Currently I have about 4-5 chapters planned for this, I'm not sure whether it's worth continuing after that since I'm still relatively new to writing so I wouldn't want it to drag, but tell me what you think. Thanks for reading!