Chapter One
'He got the action,
he got the motion.
Oh yeah,
the boy can play.
Dedication.
Devotion.
Singing all the night time into the day'
"QUIET!!!"
"I don't see the point" Pansy said in a low voice, looking around the
classroom and sticking her nose up into the air begrudgingly.
"You will when you're a single mother with bills to pay and mouths to feed"
McGonagall told her sternly, overhearing her talking to Milicent Bullstrode.
Pansy sniggered.
Obviously her comment had hit a little i too /i closer to home than she
had expected.
On the other side of the room sat Harry.
He looked at the board in bewilderment.
"How come McGonagall is taking TWO lessons this year?"
"Because she's greedy" Ron answered him, also looking at the board.
"I think it's a brilliant idea!" Hermione told them excitedly.
Trust her to get excited about something as ridiculous as this!
"Okay, class" McGonagall announced, finally making her way to the front of the
room and standing to the right hand side of the blackboard.
"I don't get it" Malfoy announced from the back of the class. "Why are we
here to talk about babies?...or is it just Weasle and Potter that don't know
where they come from?"
The Slytherins giggled.
Both Hermione and Harry turned around to glare at him.
He sat there with the arrogance of a Prince.
His legs upon the desk, whilst his hands came to rest at the back of his
head.
Yes, that arrogance was definitely something to glower at.
"That's quite enough, Mr Malfoy" McGonagall told him. "Ten points from
Slytherin"
The Slytherins moaned this time, looking over at him with annoyance.
"What?" He asked them, putting his hands up in the air innocently. "You were
all thinkin' it!"
McGonagall ignored the blonde haired boy and continued.
"As you very well know, Professor Dumbledore and myself have been in
discussion for some time now as to whether or not we should go ahead with a
'Life Lessons' Class."
The students groaned.
This was just another attempt to make them watch mating documentaries and
show pictures of the male penis...
Nothing that Longbottom hadn't seen before.
McGonagall continued over the protests from students.
"As with any class, I expect you to pay every bit of attention in lesson,
and homework will be issued once a week"
Hermione's eyes lit up at the thought of homework.
"However," McGonagall said, with a hint of a smirk upon her lips. "this will
not just be any kind of life class"
The students looked at her strangely.
Oh, they were going to hate her for this.
"This class will require the practical" She told them casually. "You and
your partner will have to assist each other whenever possible."
Draco rolled his eyes.
Another class where he needed to partner up with someone that he didn't
like.
Hermione's hand shot up into the air, almost as if she had been bursting to
ask questions for all those two minutes that McGonagall had been talking.
"Professor?" She asked eagerly.
"Yes?" The teacher asked, sounding slightly irritated by the interruption.
"If you don't mind...What do we have to assist with?" She asked, almost
holding her breath in anticipation for the answer.
McGonagall shook her head. If the girl would let her finish a sentence
instead of asking inevitable questions, then maybe she could continue.
"This is not a lesson where you will sit and copy notes off a board that
explain the ins and outs of sex-"
"Too bad, Longbottom...you'll have to ask your gran!" Malfoy shouted across
the classroom.
Most people sniggered.
Neville just blushed.
"Instead, you will experience it first hand"
"What?" asked Malfoy this time. He brought his legs off from the table,
stamping them onto the ground.
To say he was shocked was an understatement. "We're gonna have sex in a
classroom? ...been there, done that..."
Parvati blushed bright red when Malfoy quirked his eyebrows up at her.
Yes, it seemed that the Slytherin Prince had now tired of his own house
whores...
"No" McGonagall told him sternly, close to lose her patience. Sometimes he
was just as bad as Miss Granger! "The practical will focus on the after
effects of consummation"
"Consummation?" Ron said in a posh voice. "She makes it sound like a
chore!"
"You and your partner will go through the stages of pregnancy together"
The whole class looked at her with their mouths wide open.
'That got them, the hormone driven menaces!' McGonagall smiled to
herself.
THAT hand was up in the air again.
"Professor" She asked, in shock. "Is that the whole nine months?"
McGonagall was glad she asked. "No, as the school year will not allow us to
go through the whole nine months, you will have two months of
pregnancy...and then your own child to look after for the remainder of the
year"
The class looked at her in awe.
The girls started panicking.
"I'm gonna get stretch marks!"
"I'm gonna get fat!"
"I haven't got a vagina!" Yelled Seamus suddenly.
All the boys looked at him.
He couldn't be serious, could he?
McGonagall continued. "Girls, you will go through actual labour." When the
girls started panicking again she interrupted. "But this is not a 'real'
baby that you are dealing with...it is a simulated baby that will have the
magically transformed genes of both the mother and the father." Upon seeing
some the girls relax a little, she added. "But the baby will look as real as
you or me, so you may want to be careful"
"Will it go through the natural growing up process?" Hermione asked again,
this time not putting her hand up in the air.
This intrigued her to no end.
If this didn't put her off ever having sex, then nothing would.
"Your child will age every couple of months" McGonagall told them all. "It
is September now, so it will be November when your Children are born. In
January they will reach Two months of age...and from there they will grow
from Six months to four years of age by the time July comes around"
There was suddenly a buzz of excitement around the room.
"However" The teacher stated, looking rather sternly. "This is a life
'test', and therefore your results will be assessed in July, depending on
how well your child has turned out from your tutoring and Love. And
hopefully some of you more hormonal-
She looked directly at Malfoy.
"-teenagers will learn a thing or two about what can happen when mistakes
are made"
"Is there any theory?" Parvati asked tentatively.
"Only a small diary that you must make on your progress" McGonagall
answered, telling the rest of the class. "I want you to jot down your
feeding times, and sleep patterns"
"And what do we do when we're in the classroom?" Harry asked, getting a
glare from Hermione for asking the question before she could.
"You bring your children with your and I will go through the proper care
procedures, and how to get the best results for your 'assessment'" She told
him blandly.
She looked around at them all.
They really had no idea at all.
She had already devised the list.
She knew who would be paired up with whom.
She had decided that since half of them were sexually active, that she would
partner those with people who were probably not doing any bed-hopping.
It put her mind at ease, knowing that with the groups she had chosen, no
night time frolics could possibly come from the pairings.
"How do we get impregnated?" Pansy asked, a grin on her face as she looked
over at Malfoy.
He scoffed and rolled his eyes.
He would not be going there again...
Not after what he had heard from Goyle...genital warts, indeed!
"I need you all to stick the cotton bud Q-tips in front of you into your
mouths for a DNA sample-
She looked over at Neville, shaking her head.
"-And do not follow Mr. Longbottoms example...its does not go in your ear
to clear out any Waxy problems you may have!
I will not have anyone having actual intercourse during this
experiment, as doing so can be disastrous for the project! The girls will
be 'inseminated' with the conjoining DNA that will make the Child."
The class did as they were told, grumbling as they did so.
Who in their right mind would not want to have sex for the rest of the
year?!
When they put their swabs back down, The teacher collected it, and then
paired the swabs from one female, and one male.
She put one swab of each into a plastic container, before heading back to
her desk.
"Tomorrow" She told them. "When you come back in here, I need each girl to
come to the front and be injected with the conjoining DNA samples. This will
be your Child"
The bell rang in the background, but the buzz of excitement in the classroom
meant that no one was making the effort to move.
So they were going to have children...for a whole 10 months they were going
to be mothers and fathers, looking after their off springs.
It was different.
Nothing like this had been attempted before.
And if anything went wrong...the only ones to blame would be the teenagers
themselves.