Prologue: The 'Legion Insider'

"It's here! It's finally here!" Shouted Garth Ranzz, better known as Lightning Lad, dashing into the lounge where three members of the team reclined and chatted quietly amongst themselves.

"What's here?" Chameleon Boy asked, glancing up at the redhead.

Lighting Lad smirked. "The Legion Insider's latest edition: 'Exploring the Intricate Mind of the Legion's Good-Looking Genius-- Brainiac Five'!"

Brainy groaned and slouched deeper into the overstuffed couch he was sharing with Invisible Kid and Chameleon Boy. "I was afraid they'd go through with it."

"Are you kidding?" Lightning Lad crowed, "This'll be great! We'll know all your secrets!"

"The Legion Insider's articles are sixty-five percent extrapolation," Brainy snapped. "And five percent accurate."

"And the last thirty percent?" Invisible Kid asked, glancing at Brainiac Five.

"Pure propaganda," Brainy said bluntly.

"Okay, so we'll have what we think are your secrets," Lightning Lad acquiesced. "This will still provide plenty of ammo. Like this line, for instance: 'he brushes a golden lock of hair away from his glowing magenta eyes, which contrast beautifully with his clear green--"

He was cut off by Brainy, who sighed loudly. "My hair is too short to fall in front of my-- wait, does it actually say that?"

Lightning Lad cackled in reply, handing his copy to Invisible Kid. "I'm dying over here," he complained, and doubled over in a fit of laughter.

Brainy rolled his eyes. Lyle began to snigger, then laughed out loud. Chameleon Boy leaned over and glanced at the article and began laughing also. Lightning Lad leaned over the back of the couch and joined the two in their frivolity at the Coluan's expense.

Brainy held out for three minutes of obnoxious laughter before he turned on the two sitting next to him. "Give me that!" he demanded, extending a hand expectantly.

"No way," Chameleon Boy replied, "You'd probably destroy it! Oh, this is too good-- this is better than the piece they did on Cosmic Boy!"

"Definitely," Invisible Kid cackled, "How did they describe Cos, again…? Oh yeah, 'raven colored locks swept across a noble brow'… 'piercing blue eyes staring boldly'… 'shapely nose'-- what constitutes a shapely nose anyway?" And the three boys descended into hysterics once more.

Brainy sighed, slouching even further into the couch. After bearing another three minutes of laughter, he stood up abruptly. "Well, not that this half-hour hasn't been enlightening, but I'm going to my lab."

The three hovering over the Legion Insider glanced at each other. "Tactical retreat!" they shouted at once, and began laughing with gusto.

Brainy rolled his eyes and strode from the room.

A/N: I have to thank my sister for this one. You just never know what's going to happen when you discuss fanfiction while washing dishes... I mentioned that I couldn't write romance, except comedy, from the guy's point of view. One thing led to another, and... well, here it is!

Another A/N: Is Invisible Kid in the Cartoon? I have no idea. I've barely watched any of season two-- this is set before season two, though just barely. Either way, I like Lyle... I should probably explain why I'm suddenly using him, though. On spring vacation, my family camped at a lovely seaside town. One day, we went into town to get some fish'n'chips and explore the shops. I noticed an out-of-the-way used book store, and checked it out. I found a bunch of 'legionairres' comics, and 'Legion of Super Heroes' and two of 'The Legion'... I was pressed for time, so I just grabbed any 'Legion of Super Heroes' that had Brainy on the cover, or within the first three pages. Anyway, long story short, I have seventeen comic books, and I've been having a field day with them. (Brainy has a mullet! gaah! *Hysteric laughter ensues*)

I've met the Time Trapper, Brainiac Four, COMPUTO, several incarnations of characters with different names *cough Live Wire cough* *cough Apparition cough* *cough etc cough*, And Brainy with four different hairstyles. *cue more hysterical laughter* Okay, the author notes are getting longer than the story, so I'll just post this now...

I do have to mention, however, that THE BRAINIAC ADVENTURES: "It's A Wonderful Legion" in Issue #100 is just about the funniest thing I've ever laid eyes on...