This is my first fanfic for Brittana. It's a supernatural fanfic. I always thought that Brittany is not stupid; she is a woman who's intelligence goes beyond what most people call "normal". I've come to realize as I watched the whole season 3 again that Santana sees that, sees what I see, sees that Brittany is a woman who is intelligent beyond the "normal." This is why I love Brittana.
I hope you guys like this. :)
~ Mar
169 Words
The wind is heavy on Santana's skin as it is in her heart.
Moving is never something Santana enjoys doing. They moved too often, her family did. They moved to so many places that she can no longer count them all. Alabama…Arizona…Kansas…Florida…Colorado…Idaho…Iowa…Maryland…Montana…Wyoming…Virginia…Texas…Maine…Nebraska…the list went endless!
Along their journey towards their new home, Ohio, they stop by a field to catch some fresh air. Santana stomps away from her family, blowing of the anger she felt for moving again. She understands, really she does, that her family can't help moving. Her father was an officer of the army, a second lieutenant. Of course, that meant that their family was always on the move wherever her father was needed. She was proud of father but because of moving so much, she never made friends. She grew all alone with no one to talk to but the air itself.
When she finally feels calm again, she picks a dozen dandelions from the roadside, watching idly as they blew off one by one, carried away by the wind. At the back of her mind, a strange feeling arises, like Santana's flying like the dandelions before, up into the air and danced with the wind. But it comes as fast as it goes and soon Santana is herself again, seating on the side of the road and wishing to be any place else but here.
I got to get out of here. She thought.
Later, when her parents decide to fiddle with their furniture in the truck, Santana takes this as her chance and seizes the chance.
She delves into the first thing she sees in front of her, a field with long grass hiding her from the rest of the world. She doesn't know where she's going but her feet took her to wherever the wind blows, and when she bursts out of the field, it is a tunnel she sees, long, narrow and pitch-black like it's about to swallow her up.
It feels as if the wind is coursing through her fingertips, through her veins, and Santana has thrown all care to it. She strides forward, entering the tunnel with nothing but belief in her gut. There's not a single speck of light in the tunnel leaving Santana blind to her surroundings. Her footsteps echo too loud and her breath rattles her bones too forcefully, but still, she knows she can't turn back now.
I'm never going to back to that hell hole of a truck.
When she emerges from the dark tunnel, it is yet another field she sees. Except, it is night time and the stars above are shining brighter than ever. An inexplicable feeling rush through her veins and the air tastes a lot like…dare she say it…freedom.
She plunges into the grass once more.
There are random flecks of lights floating in the air, like the stars are closer than ever before. The grass seemed to sway more gracefully like they were dancing and her footsteps are somewhat lighter than before. Everything was strange and different feeling from Santana's normal self, but not a bad one either. Emerging from the tall grass sends Santana crashing into a person, tall, blonde, beautiful, and eyes shining like candle lights.
"I'm sorry!" Santana blurts, her heart pounding and mind cursing her carelessness. "I didn't see where I was going and it's my first time here so-" She explained.
The blonde's eyes widen in surprise, and she seizes Santana's left wrist, abrupt and sudden. Flipping it over, she glances at the underside of a stunned Santana's wrist, and lets out a soft gasp.
"Human," she whispers, and lets go of Santana's wrist, who retracts it back immediately. Santana is fairly stunned and confused as she rubs her wrist for good measure. Human. What the hell does she mean by that? Of course I'm human!
"What on earth is going-" She began but was cut off by the blonde.
The rest of her words are muffled by a hand clamped onto her mouth. "Shh," the stranger says, and checks her wrist for the second time.
57. The blonde reads.
"Brittany," the stranger says, gesturing to herself, releasing her grip from Santana's mouth. My name is Brittany. She points to Santana, and tilts her head, like a question mark. What's yours?
"Santana," Santana replies, and she is about to open her mouth again when Brittany holds a hand up, a gesture of silence. Then she points to the town behind them, lanterns lining the streets like little souls. "Spirits," she says, then points to herself once more. "You're not supposed to be here." Brittany points out.
I know that but where was I supposed to go to. I only had once chance to escape. Santana thought but she can't escape feeling nervous with the strange blonde woman.
"But I was- I just walked through a tunnel and-" Santana protests, heart welling in panic and legs trembling in nervousness.
"Shh," Brittany says once more, except more forcefully. She points to her left wrists, and gestures for Santana to do the same. Raising her arm to the air, Santana scrutinizes the underside, and is taken aback when she sees black ink spreading from the root of her veins, leaving deep angry marks behind.
20.
"What is the hell is the meaning of-" Santana asks, frantic and stunned once again, but gets cut off once again by the blonde.
"169 words a day," Brittany explains. "You exceed that and you can never return here."
"Oh,"
Santana thinks. Oh.She's never been good with keeping her mouth shut. But she has twenty left, till the sun rises again.
"So what do I do now?" she asks, helpless and afraid. The numbers on her wrist fade, and materialize again immediately after.
9.
She's got to be careful now.
Brittany tugs at Santana's sleeve, and leads her into the town, a wary lookout for any suspicious glances. Santana's a little different after all. Humans always are.
It's not the first time a human has wandered in, but it's been a long time since the last one did.
Brittany sighs.
Having a human with you is hard work. They never listen to you. But then again…this woman seems different…
Along the streets Santana catches sight of a blob, translucent, a mask on its face, carved in a perpetual frown. And another man, face shaped like a radish, body painted in soft yellow. Then another, a bird with wings shaped like coconut tree leaves, who spoke in lyrics Santana doesn't quite catch. The buildings are wooden, but shine like bubbles catching dawn's first rays, and they are suspended above ground, like they're no longer rooted to the earth. Like no one in this town is anymore.
Where the hell am I? What is this place? Santana thought .
Brittany brings her to a building tucked in a corner street beside one that's shaped like a teapot. Inside is no different from any other house Santana has ever seen, and Brittany leads her to a bed, before tucking her in soon after.
"Sleep," Brittany says. "Talk more, tomorrow."
Santana stares, and nods hesitantly, only adverting her gaze when she lights go out and all she can feel are her tears and fright wound around her skin, like vines refusing to budge.
Maybe I shouldn't have taken the chance.
167
Morning comes and Santana awakes from a dream of flying past dandelions and turning into a translucent man, mask on her face. She lets out a sigh of relief at the sight of the beautiful but weird blonde, and smiles softly.
"Morning," she mumbles. Though Brittany shoots her a stern look thereafter, like a silent don't waste your words, she sighs in all helplessness and smiles back. "Morning," she replies, and Santana swears Brittany's smile is the brightest she's ever seen in her life.
"Talked to Overlord," Brittany says over a cup of tea, though the tea isn't like any other; it glows and shimmers under the sunlight. Santana brings the cup to her mouth hesitantly, sips, and sighs in contentment. "Thursday she will bring you home."
Santana blinks. It takes a while to get used to the chopped up sentences, in effort of saving on the words spoken, but she nods all the same. Thursday, she thinks. Five days from now, and she'll be back. I get out of this weird place.
"What now?" Santana asks, curious.
Brittany grins, and extends her hand to Santana, who accepts it gratefully. Santana is brought to the teapot shaped building, and to her amusement she realizes it is a cafe where Brittany works at. "Don't wander," Brittany instructs, sitting Santana down on a chair in a secluded corner. "Scary people out there too." And Santana gulps at that, before she nods.
The last thing she needs is to die and truly belong here.
Observing Brittany at work makes Santana realize a lot of things.
Like life after death isn't that momentous, or as different as life on Earth. Or how everyone uses gestures and facial expressions as a means of communication, and yet their eyes still smile in quiet understanding. And how spirits are a little different after all. Santana catches sight of another translucent blob, this time in a mask painted with a tear on this cheek. An angel-like human too, wings majestic and feathers white and pure like doves.
"Different?" Santana asks when Brittany's having her break time. She's slowly catching on now - how to convey her feelings with minimal words. She points to the customers.
"How they were as humans," Brittany explains. "How they are now." It's the longest Santana's ever heard Brittany speak.
Funny enough, she gets exactly what Brittany's trying to say, and her eyes shine in that of wonderment. Translucent spirits would mean a perpetual desire to disappear from the world, Santana guesses. Angel wings would speak of innocence. And the tear-
She freezes. Finally understanding.
Dying doesn't speak of freedom after all. Neither does it speak of happiness.
When Brittany works, Santana tries her best to listen in on rare slips of conversation. Surprisingly enough there aren't many topics - except life before death, love and true feelings. They say when you die you lose your memories.
They also say love lasts forever.
Santana wonders how many words a spirit actually uses a day.
She also notices, right from the very beginning, how Brittany walks with natural grace in every footstep she takes and how her eyes are ever so kind, and they sparkle brighter than everyone else. It's as if Brittany's eyes are the only ones that shine, like the other spirits have lost their souls and are left with deep, bottomless pits as a replacement.
It's a little strange, but it makes Santana blush a little too.
"Is it better this way?"
Santana asks, when night falls and they are making their way back to Brittany's house. "Not speaking."
Brittany is quiet, as if in deep thought. Only when they settle in bed does Brittany speak, and it's a whisper right to the very crook of Santana's ear, making her shiver.
"In silence you share each other's feelings better."
All Santana can shear is her heartbeat though, loud and thunderous, like love's approaching in the form of an earthquake, rattling her bones and her being.
That night she dreams of Brittany's eyes and smile.
Despite Brittany's warnings, Santana manages to form small friendships with a few of her customers over the next two days, and to Santana's content, with a few words spoken.
The translucent blob with a tear painted on its mask is not as frightful as compared to that of the first glance. Her name is Quinn and the bird with wings like coconut tree leaves is her best friend. They do not remember dying but they remember their love for singing, so they spend their words every day on melodies and harmonies.
The radish-like man is Sam, and he conveys his thoughts in musical notes on paper. Sometimes Santana wonders why can't people write instead of speak, but then Brittany explains to her later that no one can remember how to write anymore.
Santana wonders how Brittany can.
Sometimes in between conversations with Quinn or Sam, Brittany will budge in and offer Santana a cup of coffee, or a glass of iced green tea. Sometimes she rambles, unlike that of her usual self with a watchful eye over the word limit, but it is silly things she says and it makes Santana blush and giggle.
It's as if Brittany's a little jealous.
Santana enjoys this.
On Tuesday Santana nearly goes past the word limit due to her conflicted feelings.
It's been a few days, and definitely not long enough for Santana to fall in love, but Brittany is so charming, so happy, so free and so beautiful that Santana cannot help herself. She tells Brittany this, because Santana's never been a person that holds her thoughts back when she needs to, instead blurting everything out because impulse governs her life. "What if I say I love the way you smile and I love the way you hold my hand so gently - and I love the way your eyes light and I- I," Santana stutters, her expression towards Brittany ever so frightened yet hopeful. Brittany's face is unreadable.
"I-" She falters. Brittany sighs, checks her wrists and gasps.
0.
"Don't," Brittany says, forceful and panicked. And points to Santana wrist, expression of horror etched on her face. "Don't."
She shuts her eyes, as if tired from Santana's confession, and they go to bed thereafter, Santana ignoring the sinking feeling in her chest and Brittany's heavy breathing. She tries to tell herself that she's not the only one affected by her confession.
She dreams that night of Brittany telling her she reciprocates her feelings and kisses her.
Morning comes and it is awkward between the two of them, Santana a little too silent and Brittany a little too jumpy. When they head to the cafe, Santana tries very hard to console herself that it's only a day more before she returns home.
But then she is greeted with Quinn's squeak and Sam's amused stare, and wonders if home's really the place she had thought to be after all.
She tries to focus on the low hum of Quinn's voice and Sam's sheets of music, but somehow Santana's eyes always seem to revert back to Brittany. Brittany's smile…Brittany's eyes…everything that makes her ever so breathtaking.
When the shop closes Sam leaves Santana with an unfinished sheet of music and Quinn a melody stuck in her head. Brittany heads towards her, and blinks at the sight of her score sheet.
"It's been a long time since I've played the piano," she says, first words ever spoken that day.
Santana nods. "I loved the piano," she says, then stops. "Wait - how come you remember?"
Brittany is stunned, and very silent. She adverts her gaze from Santana, and settles down on a seat next to her. "I-"
"I went through that tunnel too," Brittany whispers in the end, soft, quiet with unspoken regrets.
"Sometimes I wonder how my life would have turned out," she continues. "If I didn't pass through that tunnel,"
Santana is quiet, heart filled with inexplicable sorrow for the beautiful woman next to her. Inside, she realizes now, how Brittany's eyes are different from the rest and how she knows exactly what Santana is and what she's going through. But then she realizes how Brittany's still so very young, and probably had such a bright future ahead.
"Are you happy now?" Santana asks, a little frightened of the answer.
Brittany smiles, shakes her head, as if trying to clear her doubts, and faces Santana once more, eyes sparkling so bright it makes Santana fall for her all over again. "I was going to be a dancer," she says.
Brittany pauses. "But yes," she grins in she end. "I am."
That's all there is to life, or death, isn't it?
Happiness.
When Santana goes to sleep that night she tries not to think about how it's her last night here and how she's never going to see Brittany's smile again. Later, when the lights are about to dim though, Santana catches Brittany's gaze, and for a moment she swears she sees a little regret, longing, and too much love in her eyes.
It makes her think about leaving so much more.
And it makes her entertain the idea of staying too.
On the last day before the scheduled meeting, Brittany brings Santana around the town. They will be sheading towards the fields at noon, and apparently Santana is to catch a train that runs through the tunnel and back home.
The walk around town is silent, but comfortable. They meet Quinn and Sam mid-stroll, and Santana proceeds to greet them with a tight hug, though it's more of a farewell than a greeting. There are tears in Santana's eyes after she's done and she cannot believe the emotional attachments she'd made so quickly and so strong. That's the thing about her, she realizes. How she plunges into things too fast and sticks to people too quickly and too tightly that sometimes she can't break off and she can't ever head back if ever she makes a wrong turn.
Brittany brings her to a park, where flowers are in abundance and so different from that of Earth. There, the flowers never wilt and the trees are evergreen. The air is fresher and although it's a place of death, there's more life to it than Santana's ever seen.
"I'll miss this," Santana finally says, and it startles Brittany for a moment. Brittany smiles, a little forced, and shrugs.
"You'll miss your home more," is a reply she gets, and Santana pauses. Will she?
"I'll miss you," Santana continues.
Brittany's expression is unchanging, and she fiddles with a dandelion, watching the whites get carried away by the wind. Then she faces Santana, abrupt, and for a moment they are so close Santana can count the lashes on Brittany's eyes and she can feel Brittany's breath lingering on her cheeks. Their lips are almost touching when Brittany pulls back, a flush on her face and her gaze stubborn on a faraway bird, refusing to meet Santana's eyes.
"I'll miss you too," Brittany says moments later, when they get up and head to the station.
"I definitely will."
At the station, the lighting is dim but Brittany's eyes are brighter than ever.
"Your eyes shine too," Brittany eventually whispers to her, when they're waiting for noon to strike, and Santana turns to face her, eyes wide and in wonderment.
A hand extends and rests on Santana's cheek, and Brittany lets it linger for a moment, as if in longing. The bell cheers twelve times and soon the train approaches, its sound loud and thunderous.
"Take care," Santana says, and no - she can't cry now. She hasn't cried for a long time.
Brittany nods, and then clutches onto Santana. "Wait-" she shouts.
"What if I say I love the way your eyes sparkle and how you smile with your heart- that I love the way you befriend others so easily and how you look so peaceful when you sleep and-" Brittany babbles, and it's as if Brittany's been saving all her words for now.
"What if I say I love you?" Brittany asks, hesitant.
The train whistles blares and Santana is a step away from boarding. She thinks of life back on Earth and how she's never been truly happy, then she thinks of Brittany and her smile ever so kind and carefree, she thinks of love and she thinks of Quinn and Sam and everything else that's too amazing and too different from her life as a human, where hate plagued her heart and everyone loved to leave scars on her life whenever they moved.
Santana brings her left wrist to her hand, and smiles.
0.
Somehow, the tunnel doesn't seem that dark anymore, and Santana feels so much like the dandelions now, carried away by the wind. She raises her foot, and lets it linger midway, in between the platform and the train carriage, then she tilts her head and faces Brittany, expression frightened and filled with anticipation.
Happiness, Santana thinks. Its ironical how, she who loves to speak, found happiness in silence.
And she's never going to let it go.
"I love you too."
With that she leans over and gives Brittany a kiss, sealing her faith and their love.
She made the right choice.
There you have it folks. Hope you like the story.
~ Mar