Painted on My Heart
by: gengen0776
Chapter 1
"Dude, what the hell?" Sam cried from the passenger's seat. He hit his head awake as Dean dangerously arced the Impala into a U-turn without slowing the car. It had been two weeks since they'd left Wyoming, one since they'd left Bobby's and about twenty-four hours since they'd left Chicago. They'd been in Chicago for another demon exorcism; it had been one after another since that night in the graveyard. The lower level demons latching themselves onto whoever they could and Dean, Sam and Bobby had been working overtime exorcizing every demon that crossed their path.
"Dean what's going on?"
"Gotta get to San Antonio," Dean stated simply, without looking at Sam. He hoped that Sam would just leave it at that, that he wouldn't start asking questions, but he knew it was no good.
"Why Dean? What's in San Antonio?" Sam's rapid-fired questions were causing Dean to cringe. Again the pained look on Dean's face quieted Sam's questions. Dean sighed loudly, knowing he'd have to explain what was going on to his brother. He'd just hoped to put it off until he'd had time to consider the implications of Bobby's cryptic phone call.
"There's someone there…someone that needs me," Dean murmured, his voice sounding far away. As his mind drifted Dean's gaze coming to rest on the ring he wore on his right hand. "Ronnie" he breathed shaking his head to bring himself back to reality, to this time and place. "How long to get to San Antonio from here college boy?"
Sam pulled out his laptop to search of the information Dean had requested as questions filled his head. Who had called Dean? Who was Ronnie? When had Dean been to San Antonio? Why was it so important to get there now? Sam forced himself not to bombard Dean with these questions, he knew his brother would tell him when he was ready. Dean would never leave him in the dark about what they were hunting, Sam just wondered if this was an actual hunt.
"It's gonna take almost a full day's drive, over eighteen hours," Sam informed after a few minutes on Yahoo maps looking over at Dean to gauge his reaction. Dean stared stoically ahead, his nod so imperceptible that Sam wasn't sure Dean had actually heard him until he felt the car pull a little harder as Dean floored the accelerator. "We should drive in shifts." Again Dean nodded, appreciating that his brother understood the urgency he felt to get to San Antonio as quickly as possible though he hadn't explained why. Dean wished he knew himself; but Bobby had been cryptic, simply repeating that Ronnie needed him, refusing or not knowing any details that could be given over the phone. Dean had hesitated only momentarily, he'd long ago promised himself to keep her safe from the demons and evils that they hunted, even if that meant he had to stay away. So he had never spoken about her, never called her, reminding himself that if the demon realized she was important to him it might hurt her or worse. There was no way Dean could deal with that, so he stayed away, vowing to find her when it was over; when the demon couldn't harm her. Unfortunately, before they'd killed that yellow-eyed bastard he'd let out a lot more of his friends. Besides how he could he tell her he only had a year left to live.
Remembering his deal with the demon Dean began to wonder if he'd sacrifice his time with her for nothing. His mind flashed with the image of Jessica burning on Sam's ceiling reminding him of what letting someone get close could do. Suddenly, Jessica's face became Ronnie's and Dean's heart clenched as he pushed the image from his mind. Nothing could be worse than losing her. Nothing Dean thought knowing he'd pissed off a lot of the demons that had escaped, demons that could do the same as the yellow-eyed demon or worse.
"Dean?" Sam's voice brought him back to reality, though he could still feel the heat of the flames, that had enveloped Ronnie's form, on his skin. He turned to see Sam eying him cautiously. "You okay?" Dean simply nodded as he returned his eyes to the road. "We should get off the next exit, get some gas and food," Sam suggested. Dean simply nodded again, trying to push the image of Ronnie as far to the back of his mind as he could. He had to believe she would be alright, had to believe he could save her. If not what was the whole point of staying away?
"Yeah, maybe you can take a shift driving then. What do you think Miss Daisy?" Sam simply nodded ignoring the Miss Daisy comment. He was just happy that Dean was willing to let him drive a while and that maybe he'd get some rest. Dean looked exhausted, having driven for hours before the phone call and who knew what was waiting for them in San Antonio. When they arrived at the rest stop, Dean jumped from the car tossing the keys to Sam and heading to the men's room, leaving Sam to fill the car with gas and get the supplies. "I'll be back in a few."
Dean entered the dingy bathroom, stepping in front of the sink and running the cold water without looking at his reflection in the mirror that hung above it. When the water was good and cold he splashed some on his face and neck hoping to relieve some of the fatigue he was feeling. He'd been driving for more than twelve hours straight. When he hazarded a glance at himself, he sighed loudly. Between his bloodshot, glassy eyes and his five o'clock shadow long overdue, he looked haggard and exhausted. There was a fear in his eyes that was unsettling, not knowing what was going on and why Ronnie needed him was killing him. Yet he kept himself from calling her, that couldn't help her, she needed him there whatever the reason.
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Ronnie stared down at the telephone for a long moment after she'd hung up with Bobby. He's on his way she thought, her heart swelling with emotion as she realized she would see Dean Winchester again, something she hadn't been sure would ever happen. I just wish it was under happier circumstances, she thought staring out the window and allowing herself to be caught up in her memories of him from long ago.
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Sam was exiting the Quick Mart with a large brown paper bag filled with provisions and two steaming cups of coffee for the long drive ahead when Dean returned. Dean grabbed the coffee from his brother and headed to the car without so much as a peek at what else Sam had bought. He paused at the driver's side of the Impala as though considering whether he could continue to drive, but he moved on to the passenger's side thinking better of it. He knew Sam would rag on him if he didn't get some rest and he wasn't in the mood for a Sammy sermon. Especially, when he knew his brother was right. Sam remained silent, a satisfied look on his face as he slid into the driver's seat and proceeding to unlock the passenger's door for Dean.
They'd driven a few miles in silence when Sam finally hazarded a glance at his brother. Dean sat staring out into the darkness. Sam switched on the radio in an effort to fill the silence between them, hoping it would keep him from filling it with the unanswered questions dancing around his head. Dean had him worried. Since the phone call he'd barely strung together two sentences and was constantly staring off lost in thought.
The rock station pumped out the last set of Metallica's Wherever I may Roam and again Sam looked over at his brother for some kind of reaction knowing it was one of Dean's favorite songs by one of his favorite bands. Still nothing except that his eyes were now closed and his head pressed against the passenger's window. Sam sighed at least he's getting some rest he thought as the pounding sounds of Metallica faded and were replaced by the smoother sounds of a ballad by the Cult.
I thought you'd be out of my mind
And I'd finally found a way to learn to live without you
I thought it was just a matter of time
Till I had a hundred reasons not to think about you
But it's just not so
And after all this time, I still can't let go
I've still got your face
Painted on my heart
Scrawled upon my soul
Etched upon my memory, baby…
Dean had closed his eyes after Sam had looked over and turned on the radio. He could see the questions, he'd been so thankful Sam hadn't voiced earlier, were now making Sam edgy. He knew he'd have to explain his need to get to San Antonio, just who Ronnie was and why she was so important to him. He just wasn't ready to talk about it yet. So he'd closed his eyes and pretended to sleep, knowing his brother wouldn't disturb him. They still had at least fourteen hours before they got to San Antonio and Sam would force himself to wait until Dean's next turn to drive to ask as long as he thought Dean was sleeping now. Dean didn't like to lie to Sam, even faking sleep, but he was exhausted and feared that voicing his fears would somehow make them come true. So he'd closed his eyes and lost himself in the pounding sounds of Metallica.
Then the song changed, Dean recognized it immediately and nearly laughed at the irony. It was The Cult Painted on my heart the one song that always reminded him of Ronnie. It wasn't only that the lyrics spoke volumes about his feelings for her and how he tried to keep her out of his thoughts. It was that it had been their song, the song that had been playing when they'd first kissed. A small smile adorned his lips as he thought back to that night.