Total Drama Revenge of Pahkitew Island
Episode 1: The Start of a New Era
Chris: Welcome to another season of Total Drama! This season, we have gotten a mass of the smartest people, most athletic people, and some… a mixture of both. And without further ado, let's get started on a whole new season… Total… Drama… Revenge of Pahkitew Island! Led by your host, Chris McClain!
Chef: I still get no appreciation around here...
Chris: This season, we have collected 20 victims- I mean, 20 contestants to participate for a grand reward of 1 MILLION DOLLARS! Let's introduce you to the cast. The rules are simple, and they haven't changed. This season, 20 teens will be competing! At the end of each episode, one of these teens will be eliminated, by either
(Boat comes to Island)
Chris: And here's the girls boat! Our first contestant is the ASB student leader, Macaria!
Macaria: Hi guys, it's so good to be here. I've always watched this show in the past, and I'm so excited to be a part of it!
Chris: You won't be excited for long… (manically laughs). Anyway, moving on! Our next contestant is the headstrong smartie, Aaliyah!
Aaliyah: This competition is mine! I'm going to SO walk out of here with the million dollars!
Chris: Good luck with that! Our next contestant is out Aura Reader and environmentalist, Dawn!
Dawn: So many disturbed auras… The wildlife is… unnatural.
Chris: What? Whatever. Next up is surfer chick Bridgette!
Bridgette: Ugh. I hate this show… Why did I come back again?
Chris: Because of this! (shows 1 million dollars in pure hard cash)
(Contestants get googly-eyed)
Blaineley: Hey y'all! You guys just know that I'm going to walk out with that money. It's mine!
Chris: Well she needs no introduction… But our next player is the determined athlete, Kaelyn!
Kaelyn: I'm so happy to be here! I really hope I win! I've watched this show since I was 8!
Macaria: You too? Nice!
Chris: Cut all the sappiness! Ugh. Our next contestant is the smarty-pants, Sabra!
Sabra: I'm going to win that money… easy! I got the brains, and the friends!
Chris: And now, here's Jessica! Flexible! And that's about it! I think...
Jessica: There is a Playa De Losers, right?
Chris: Of course! I love that place! Our final two female contestants are Kaarina and Magnolia! Both are not afraid to speak their, mind, and can be slightly mean sometimes!
Magnolia and Kaarina: Really? We just came here! Hey! Stop copying me! No! You stop copying me! Ugh…
(A second boat comes by, with blaring music and guys hanging out)
Chris: Hey, here comes my ratings getter- I mean, the boys! The first three are Noah, the smart aleck, Cody, your favorite string bean, and Don, your super nerd!
Noah: Whatever Chris!
Cody: String Bean? I'm ripped dude! (flexes puny muscles)
Don: I have no comment.
Chris: The next three boys are Silas (funny and wild friend), Jack (future football coach), and Jason (lovable oaf)!
Jason: I love this show! WOO HOO!
Silas: Let's do this Jack!
Jack: Yeah!
Chris: Our next three are three formidable athletes. Corwin, the runner. Jared, the giant. And Satchel, the hunter!
Corwin: I'm in it to win it. Anybody in my way will lose,
Satchel: Fat chance of you winning, you need size and strength to win this game.
Jared: Well, I do have the most size here…
Chris: And finally, we have Ambrose, the scholar-athlete!
Ambrose: Hey Chris, how's it going? I'm pumped to be here…
Chris: I'm fine, thank you! But anyway, let's get ready for a whole new season… Total… Drama… Revenge of Pahkitew Island!
Confessional:
Ambrose: Sure, I'll play the hero for now… But I'm here to win. It'll be a tedious process, but I'm walking out of here with the million dollars. Who's gonna stop me? Those three athletes… they could be trouble on in later episodes. I'll get rid of them when I can. ASAP.
End of Confessional
(Intro Song Plays)
Chris: Welcome back to Total Drama, Revenge of Pahkitew Island! We are now going to do our first challenge, which will be similar to Total Drama Revenge of the Island's first challenge. But first, we'll need to split into teams. Jared, Jason, Noah, Aaliyah, and Jessica, you are now officially the Wacko Whales! Corwin, Satchel, Kaelyn, Blaineley, and Kaarina, you are the Mistro Maggots! Silas, Jack, Don, Dawn, and Sabra, you are the Crazy Cows! And finally, last, and hopefully not least (for my ratings), Ambrose, Cody, Maya, Bridgette, and Megan, you are the Sick Seagulls!
Confessional:
Jared: I guess I'll take Jason. He does play Center in football. But besides him, we got no size on this team. Besides me of course.
Satchel: Hey! Nice! I got Corwin on my team! I'll use him for the team challenges, but at the merge, he's done.
Corwin: It's useful to have Satchel on my team… but at the merge, he's done.
Sabra: Ugh… No brains on this team! Besides me!
Silas: I'm pumped! I'm on a team with Jack!
Jack: Nice! I'm with Sid. My goal is to get in at least the top ten. This will be a good start for my coaching career.
Ambrose: Can I at least get somebody useful on my team? They're all question marks... At least I know what I'm getting with Cody and Bridgette! Cody's... A good kid... Easy to manipulate, and not very strong. Bridgette is a surfer girl.
Cody: Ambrose huh? Reminds me too much of Alejandro... I'll have to keep a close watch on him. Gwen, if you're watching, call me!
End Confessional
Chris: Alright campers, go to your cabins and pack up! It's going to be a long stay... For some of you. Oh wait! I forgot! Your challenge today is to find your cabins! First team to get all of their members to the cabins wins!
Campers: Ugggggghhhhhhhh
Confessional:
Corwin: A race to the cabins? Hah! My team has this one in the bag!
Satchel: We got speed, and even better, me!
Noah: Great. Another athletic challenge. I've had enough of these already.
Jason: I loved watching this show, but I saw the torture Chris put those competitors through. Something is wrong with this challenge.
Ambrose: This challenge is too easy... Something is wrong.
Silas: I've seen my team. I don't think we have the definite advantage in athletics... Mostly because of Don. Nice kid... But I don't know if he's fit for this show.
Dawn: Don faces a near injury... I must prevent it.
Jessica: This doesn't look too hard... Does it?
End Confessional
(Campers start racing to cabins, taking their stuff with them)
(Camera flips to sick seagulls)
Bridgette: Alright guys, I have the most experience in this game, and I have a feeling that our cabins will all be hidden right next to the other teams cabins.
Cody: Actually, I believe I've lasted in more episodes than you.
Bridgette: Only because of Alejandro!
Ambrose: Guys, let's not argue! We need to work together as a team in order to win!
Macaria: He's right. Teamwork is key.
Magnolia: Let's move faster! We want to win, don't we?
Ambrose: You guys continue on! I'll look in another area for the cabins. I'll come back to find you.
(Ambrose runs off)
Confessional
Ambrose: I need to get the trust of my team, and the best way to do that is to lead them to a victory in the first challenge! But I also need to spy on Dawn. Her abilities could ruin my plans...
End Confessional
(Camera flips to Crazy Cows)
Silas: Come on guys, let's go faster!
Jack: We're coming!
Sabra: We're trying!
Don: What's the point? We're way behind. There's no point in rushing. This team is suited for mental challenges, not physical ones!
Silas: That doesn't mean we give up!
Dawn: Your auras are displaying anger... Please calm down.
(Pair of eyes in background watching the Cows)
Jack: Is someone there?
Dawn: Indeed, someone was there, but he's gone now. Their aura left a trace.
Confessional
Jack: I'm not trying to be mean, but Dawn really scares me sometimes!
Ambrose: Looks like I won't have to worry about this team. Yet. But Dawn could be a problem...
Silas: I could have sworn I saw Ambrose... He's up to something.
Dawn: The aura was pure bright... But there was one dark spot that worries me...
End Confessional
(Camera flips to Mistro Maggots)
Blaineley: I say that I should be team leader because I am the most experienced here!
Kaarina (grumbles): By like five episodes!
Blaineley: Hey! I'm Blaineerrifc!
Satchel: Will you shut up? Anyway, we got this competition in the bag! Our team is the most athletic!
Corwin: But I worry about Ambrose... The dude seems like a threat. Chris described him as a scholar-athlete. Also, Jared is huge, Jason plays football, and it looks as if Silas and Jack can work together really well.
Kaelyn: Don't forget about all the girls as well! We have some ability too!
Satchel: Seriously? I guess you, Kaarina, and Macaria are okay... And I guess Aaliyah isn't bad. But it's a boy that's going to take this competition. I'll eat my socks if a girl wins!
Confessional
Kaelyn: Then I guess I'll just have to win. So that jerk can eat his socks. That didn't sound mean... Did it?
End Confessional
(Camera flips to the Wacko Whales)
Jared: Come on, move it!
Jason (wheezing): If I could I would, but I have asthma...
Noah: Whoop-dee-do... Another contestant who will end up in ER because of this stupid show.
Jessica: We can't just give up!
Aaliyah: We won't win this one... But I'm not getting last either. Move it!
(Team hurries up)
Chris: The teams are getting closer to the cabins! Who will win? Will we find out Ambrose's plan? And, when will Jason pass out? The answers will be revealed on Total, Drama, Revenge of Pahkitew Island!
(Come back)
Chris: The teams are hurrying to get to their cabins… Some are far in front
(Camera shows Sick Seagulls and Mistro Maggots)
Chris: Others… not so much.
(Camera shows Crazy Cows and Wacko Whales)
(Camera flips to Wacko Whales)
Jason: There's no way I'll be able to continue much longer… my asthma is acting up.
Aaliyah: You better keep moving, I am NOT losing the first challenge.
Jared: Relax, there's no way we'll get last. This is too easy!
(Jared runs into a trap… more specifically, a snare)
Chris: Oh yeah, I forgot, I may have laid out some surprises for you along the way.
Confessional
Ambrose: I knew it! Not bad…
Jared: A snare? That slowed us down a bit…
Don: Running was hard enough, but there's traps too? Damn it.
End Confessional
(Camera flips to the Crazy Cows)
Silas: This isn't so bad!
(It starts raining)
Sabra: Why did you say that? Are you stupid?
Dawn: Calm down. Your aura is heating up!
Jack: I'm just worried about Don.
(Don steps on trap, falls in a ten foot deep pit)
Don: HEEEEEEEELP!
Jack: We'll help!
Sabra: Ugh… We are so getting in last place.
(Camera flips to Mistro Maggots and Sick Seagulls)
Ambrose: Come on guys! We're right next to them!
Corwin: You are not beating us!
(Cody runs into a trap)
Confessional
Ambrose: Okay… most of the traps were hidden, but that one was plain obvious. Come on!
Magnolia: If we lose this challenge, I feel sorry for Cody. He'll be a goner.
End Confessional
Cody: Get me out of here! There's something on my butt! Wait… AHHHHHHH! IT'S A CRAB!
Ambrose: Chill! We'll get you out of there! Okay guys… how exactly are we going to get him out of there?
(Team looks around)
Bridgette: There's a branch! We can lower the branch down so he can climb up it!
Macaria: Great idea, let's do it!
(Team gets the branch and puts it into the pit)
Cody: OW! It landed on my hand!
Ambrose: Ouch. Sorry 'bout that.
Magnolia: Okay Cody, climb up quickly, I don't want to lose this one.
(As Cody climbs up the branch, the Wacko Whales pass by)
Aaliyah: Suckers!
Jared: We got this in the bag!
Ambrose: Sorry to spoil your fun, but we were neck and neck with the Maggots until Cody got caught in a trap… They've probably won right now.
(Camera flips to Maggots)
Corwin: Oh yeah! First place! The finish line is right ahead! Go team!
Satchel: I knew we would win this one!
Kaelyn: I guess we are going to win now.
Blaineley: All this running is ruining my toenails!
Kaarina: We'll help you fix them later, just hurry up!
(as Blaineley speeds up, a stone wall rises from the ground. Blaineley turns around and runs right into it!
Kaelyn: Oh my gosh, are you okay?
Kaarina: That looked as if it hurt a lot!
Satchel: She'll be fine. She better be.
Confessional
Corwin (shakes head): Wow… Just, wow. Right at the finish line too.
End Confessional
(Camera flips to Seagulls and Whales)
Ambrose: Come on team, let's move by!
Jared: You won't be able to beat us!
Ambrose (whispers to Magnolia): You move on ahead, I'll slow them down.
Magnolia: Okay! Guys, keep moving, Ambrose's going to take a detour!
(Ambrose goes over to Whales, Seagulls push forward)
Ambrose: Hey guys!
Aaliyah: What are you doing here? You're the enemy! Go back where you came from!
Ambrose: Woah, chill! Jason, you don't look so good, you okay?
Jason (wheezing): I have asthma!
Ambrose: Well, sorry about this!
(Ambrose activates trap, steps out of the way, trap hits Jared)
Ambrose: See you later! Sorry about that Jared!
(Ambrose runs off, Whales stop to help Jared)
(Ambrose catches up to team)
Cody: Hey look! The Maggots haven't won yet!
Macaria: We still have a chance! Move it!
Confessional
Ambrose: Looks like Blaineley fell into a trap… Too bad, so sad.
Bridgette: Lucky break for us! I wonder what Ambrose did to slow the Whales down?
Magnolia: I plan to win this thing, but I'll need help. I think Ambrose can be that help. Maybe.
End Confessional
(Satchel helps Blaineley up)
Satchel: There, finally!
Corwin: Thank god, let's win this-
Ambrose: HAHA WE WIN!
(Seagulls cross the finish line)
Corwin: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Satchel: How?
Confessional
Cody: WHOO-HOO! Victory!
Satchel: How did we lose? I just don't know anymore…
Kaelyn: We could have won if we weren't so overconfident and entered the stretch faster.
End Confessional
(Maggots cross the finish line)
Kaarina: At least we're not last!
(Chris arrives on scene)
Chris: But you're still losers! But who will be the ultimate loser? Find out when we return to another episode of Total! Drama! Revenge of Pahkitew Island!
(Come back)
(Camera flips to Crazy Cows)
Sabra: Ugh… we're so far behind.
Don: Yeah, this sucks… Our team is a bunch of losers, we'll never win at this point!
Everyone besides Don: Hey!
(Camera flips to Wacko Whales)
(Whales cross finish line)
Jared: Finally! At least we didn't get last place! And nobody was too hurt!
(Jason collapses)
Noah: I beg to differ…
Jessica: Help him!
(Chef and interns come and escort him to medical venue)
Chef: This kid won't last long on this show…
(Crazy Cows finally arrive at Cabins)
Silas: Finally!
Chris: Cows! You guys are the losers! Meet me at the campfire! If you get a marshmallow, you're in! And if you don't, you are out, and can never, ever, EVER, return!
Confessional
Ambrose: Though I don't think Chris is going to bring back anyone this season, I won't listen to that final statement…
Silas: I don't believe him. I feel as if somebody always returns on this show.
End Confessional
Chris: This year, you will vote by placing a coin on the selected person's "voting stage". Each person has a "voting stage". The "voting stage" is where we will count up the number of coins on each stage. The person with the stage with the most coins loses! Voting time!
(Crazy Cows cast votes)
Chris: And the votes are in! Silas, Jack, you are both safe.
Silas and Jack: Yes! (highfive)
Chris: Each of you three remaining people received at least one vote… And the loser is… DON!
Don: Well guys, it's been a terrible stay. Where do I go now?
Chris: This year, we have a brand new elimination system! It's called the Plane of Shame!
(Really old and rusty plane arrives on scene)
(Don boards plane)
(Contestants head back)
Chris: And that's it for this episode of Total, Drama, REVENGE OF PAHKITEW ISLAND!