Disclaimer: I own nothing.
I wonder when it started.
There he stood. Holding the microphone like it was a lover, like it was his precious Yuki.
His purple eyes were filled with all those emotions he could never hide. Love mostly, but also sadness. Looking at him fills me with longing, but his voice is my tormentor. He's slightly husky from singing so much, that only makes it more seductively perfect.
I wonder when I started looking only at him.
His hair sticks to his head from sweating so much. I know I can't have him, and that only makes watching him so much more tempting, so much more enjoyable, I must take an awful lot of pleasure in pain. I must be masochistic. He's Yuki Eiri's and I know it, can't change it for I know it would tear him up inside.
I wonder when he became my every conscious thought.
When he looks at me with those eyes filled with admiration I feel as if I'm dying. When he cries my heart bleeds for him. When he smiles he's my sun. Every time he speaks his Yuki's name my soul twists in agony. His love for that man is so obvious, who am I to feel the same way about him? I crave for him, and I hate myself for it.
When did he become my addiction?
He is made of music, the personification of music. He breaths it, moves on it, exists of it. He makes me sing, he makes me want to become one with the music, just like him. He inspires me to no end. Thinking of him lyrics of love and obsession come to me like a never ending stream.
When did he become my muse?
The answer to all this is simple, the first time I heard him sing. I think Tohma knows, but he's the only one.
No, that's not true, Yuki Eiri, he knows too. I told him, in a drunken moment, I might have begged him to give Shuichi to me, he only looked at me in disgust. He had every right.
I wonder when I started loving him.
I don't deserve him, but I want him anyway. This has to stop.
-Ryuichi Sakuma
This is the letter that was found in the apartment of the Rock legend Ryuichi Sakuma.
He himself was gone, nobody has heard from him since.
It is believed that the one that he said he was so very much in love with was his colleague and rival Shuichi Shindou. The aforementioned singer doesn't want to comment on the matter.
-Fragment out of 'Ryuichi Sakuma, a biography of a music legend' by R. Brown.
A/N: Phew… That was a heavy drabble. I really like Ryuichi x Shuichi but in this story I really could not think of a happy end T.T. tell me any errors I without a doubt made. Review and receive my eternal gratitude.