Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi, but I do own this messed up story. ;)
He tried to pretend that what he was doing was okay.
But it wasn't.
Ignoring that thought, he trailed his spider-like fingers up her sides, which made the girl gasp in pleasure.
And he pretended that the gasp was higher in pitch, like hers.
He let a smirk form on his lips, trying to tell himself that he was okay, and that he wasn't thinking of anyone else, and he was only thinking of the girl in front of him. And while he told himself this, the voice in the back of his mind screamed that it was false. But he did wish that it were true. He truly did. But he couldn't forget her. He had tried and failed, and now he had to live with it. Though, he did feel bad that he could never love the girl underneath him. He felt bad that instead of seeing her thick, rope-like, black hair, he saw auburn ringlets instead.
He bit his lip to quiet the demons raging inside of him.
The girl underneath him smiled sadly up at him, knowing what was going on in his messed up mind. She wasn't stupid, and Eli knew that. Imogen knew that when it was just the two of them, and he'd get that distant look on his face, he was thinking of her. The girl before herself. But she didn't say anything, and for that, Eli was forever grateful.
Pretending that the skin that he was touching was paler, he kissed her hip bone. He pulled her shirt up slightly, pretending that there were more curves, and kissed up her stomach.
"I love you, Clare." He whispers, and the girl underneath him cringed.
"I'm Imogen, Eli. Imogen, not Clare." She says, but knows that it won't do any good. This happens a lot and she's used to it. He feels bad that she's used to it, but that's how it is.
"I know." He replies simply, because he in fact, knows. And he wishes that he didn't.
He sighs and pulls her shirt off, pretending that the lacy black bra that she was wearing was a plain blue one. Because blue looked fantastic on her. And he pulls off her bra, wishing that her breasts were smaller. He winces at the sudden thought of her naked body and quickly strips off the rest of Imogen's clothing and hovers over her, he in only his boxers.
"Do you want to take those off?" She whispers slyly, tugging down on the waistband of the boxers. And he feels his heart clench because She would be too shy to ask that. So he pushes Imogen's hand away. He pulls his boxers off by himself and throws it on the ground of the messy room. She smirks at him and he feels something warm in his stomach for her. And he realizes that he may not love her, but he does appreciate her.
He kisses her and she moans into the kiss, and he pretends that the moan is sweeter, like the one that has been stuck in his mind. And she whispers his name and he pretends that her voice is silky, rather than husky. And Imogen rakes her fingers down his back, making him shiver, because she had longer nails.
He feels a sickening feeling in his body when he thinks of her, so he pushes into Imogen. She gasps, but for the most part she keeps quiet, and he finds himself wanting the whimpers that she used to give him. He wants her teeth sinking into his skin, creating a crescent- like shape on his flesh. He wants the sweet kisses that she would gently place on his shoulder. And above all, he just wants her.
But he can't have her.
So, he pushes harder into the girl underneath him. Because he's in pain and he wants someone else to feel his pain. Because he's suffering and he wants someone else to suffer with him. Because he can.
Her neck strains back as she comes down from her high, and her eyes open up and he catches a glimpse of her brown eyes. They're very pretty, kind of like chocolate milk, but he wants blue crystals looking back at him. He wants innocence staring back at him.
"I love you, Eli." She whispers and wraps her hand in his hair. And he places a kiss on her check and leans down to her ear.
"I love you too, Clare."
"I'm Imogen, Eli. I'm Imogen." Her voice cracks and tears form in her eyes, and he hates that because she's never cried before. She's not supposed to cry.
He tucks his head in the crook of her shoulder, pretending that he can see a mole on her collar bone, in the same place that she had one.
"I know." He replies simply, because he in fact, knows.
And he has no excuse for what he does, but he can't forget the blue-eyed girl.
Lmao. Dear lord, this was supposed to be a one-shot about Adam and Eli.
...That didn't happen.
Sorry for all the depressing stories...I don't mean to, but they just come out depressing. I'll try to write happier things;)
Oh! This is my 30th story on here! :)