"Dear sir or madam, it our sad duty to inform you your closest living relative died in an unexpected bank error on the fourteenth of last July. However, he had left you a sum of no less than fifteen million shuckles in his shuckle account" Shuckled the shuckle.
"I would like to transfer these shuckles into your shuckle account within the next fourteen business days, before the shuckle auditor does a re-shuckling of our shuckle repository and finds these shuckles to be unclaimed. On arrival of the shuckles I will shuckle up with you and we will split the shuckles fifty-fifty, in accordance with basic shuckle law"
"If the shuckles are not shuckled in the before mentioned business days the shucking will shuckle these shuckles into a government account to be shuckled towards other shuckles, we're sure as a proud libershukian you would perfer to see the shuckles that are rightfuly shuckles to remain unshucked to such shucks. The shuckles should shuckle their shuckles in shuck shuckle shucle schucle. Do I make myself clear?"
"No Ash, I believe you are high" His mother told him. "We talked about this, you can't keep coming back here. We're all scared"
Ash slapped her across the face and she dropped like a shuckle. "The shuckles are shuckle. Do you shuckle?"
His mom wept, great greasy tears pouring from her shuckles onto the craigy shuckle below. Ash placed the soul of his shuckle on the back of her shuckle and pressed until sweet fermented berries poured from her virgin shuckle holes.