Mine. Always and Never.

A/N- I do not own Twilight. Nor do I own Sin City. Please don't sue me! Read And Review! Thanks!

My warrior woman. My Valkyrie. You'll always be mine, always and never. Never. The Fire, baby. It'll burn us both. It'll kill us both. There's no place in this world for our kind of fire. Always and never.

Leah's POV

I sit on the edge of the bed waiting for you to text me the address. I knew what I was doing was wrong, but if you didn't care then why should I?

It had been 3 years since I had seen you. Felt you. Tasted you. As casual as we pretended to make this seem, we both knew the purpose of this sudden contact.

There was a need for closeness that only the other knew how to fill. A primal side that is only unleashed when that certain person draws it out of you. With me you never had to be careful. You could hurt me and I could pretend like I didn't care. I was good at that.

There would be no one to stop us because no one would ever know. I slip out of the house after he leaves. There is no need for false excuses.

I get in my car and drive the 45 minutes to the little motel just outside of nowhere and find the room quickly. I called as I parked so there would be no need for me to knock. I knew you would smell me before you saw me anyway.

You greet me at the door.

You hug me like you missed me and the in truth I know you have. I have missed you too. But I will never say it. She has you, but she isn't me. She is just your soul mate. The one you returned to after our bitter and painful goodbye. That was the goodbye that left you fighting her wars and me fighting the urge to run back to you. I never could.

3 years.

Sure, I have found love again, but it's not like him. His kisses aren't as urgent and while the love making is good it's not at the levels that leave the wolf inside me satisfied. He isn't you and deep down I think he knows it. He will never be my Alpha.

There are no lights on except for the bathroom. I momentarily think you can't find it in yourself to look at me.

"Leah." He whisper my name and I swear it's like I'm hearing it for the first time.

"Jake." I return your name as hushed as he says mine.

I walk into room and pretend to take no notice of her scent on him. I sit at the table and grab one of the room temperature beers that is sitting there.

"You need alcohol just to get through seeing me Jake?" I say only slightly amused.

"No, I just thought that it would make you more comfortable." That's Jacob. Always looking out for his Beta.

I figure now is as good a time as any to see where his head is.

"So why now? It's been 3 years? I asked candidly. I was never anything less than bold, no reason to be shy now.

I watch as he runs his fingers through his hair as he searches for the right words to say.

"I guess I wanted to know why you left. Why you never called. I just want to know why you left…me."

"You know why Jake. There are too many ghosts in La Push. Too many reasons not to stay. I needed to leave Jake. You have Ness, I hardly doubt you missed me at all." I knew those words were lies the second I said them.

The mention of her name starts to put that crack back in my heart that I had thought long since healed. God I have never been more wrong.

"I heard you found someone." Was he fishing for an answer? Was that genuine pain I briefly saw flash across his face?

"Yeah. His name is Derek. He isn't so bad." I say truthfully enough.

"Do you love him?"

"I love him enough to stay with him." He winces at my words.

"Its not like I have any other options Jake." My truthfulness is starting to flow easily now. It had always been easy to talk to Jacob. Word Vomit.

"Leah, let's not talk about this. Can't we just be two friends catching up? You know I can't help what happened."

I knew he meant those words. I guess the idea of a secret rendezvous got the better of me. With my luck I should have known better. Leah Clearwater never gets what she wants. My own thoughts forming against me to set me up to fall.

"Well, Jake I am alive. You are alive. My life doesn't suck as much anymore and I'm pretty sure that I am relatively somewhat happy." I stood to leave. "It was great seeing you again Jake. Hit me up in another 3 years."

I reached the door slower than I wanted to. I guess part of me wanted him to stop me.

Right on cue, he did.

The searing heat that was surging through me took me back to the only time we had made love. Before her. Before I left in the middle of the night without warning or a clue to where I was going.

My breath hitched.

"Leah, please don't leave me again." He was pleading with me.

"I have to Jake, there is nothing left for me here."

"Leah, LOOK AT ME!"

"I can't. Please just let me go. This was a bad idea."

"Leah, I LOVE.."

"Don't. Just don't. You may love me Jacob but it's not as much as her. It's not enough."

I had gotten over crying over this fact a long time ago. Just another thing I had been trying to forget.

"I know that." That hurt more than I thought it would, "but just for tonight let me pretend that I do. I haven't forgotten about that day either Leah. How beautiful you were. How beautiful you still are." His voice was barely above a whisper now.

"Tonight and never again. After this you let me go Jacob. Don't try to find me. Just let me go."

His lips were on mine once I finished. Every fiber in my being screamed and burned for him. It was the hope of this touch against my skin again that kept me going all these years.

There was no need to be gentle. Super human strength and healing powers had their advantages.

"Mine. Always and never." He whispered

He reached for me and tore my shirt down the middle. Taking me in his arms, he threw me on the bed. His mouth exploring every inch of me he could find. Ripping and pulling my clothing like it was offensive to our current situation.

My mind drifted to the Lauryn Hill song I had heard on the way over.. "When it hurts so bad, when its hurts so baaad. Why's it feel so good?"

He was hurting me. We both knew it but right now it felt to good to stop. I need to feel something. Anything.

We didn't speak.

I let him have me.

I let him move his hand over my body and leave fiery trails in his the wake of his fingertips.

I let him lick, suck and kiss every part of me he could reach until my legs shook and I was panting for him to be inside me.

I'm lying here.

Naked.

Exposed.

He is staring at me as if he taking all of me in.

Absorbing me with those beautiful brown eyes.

"Leah…"

"Jake, don't say anything. It hurts too much."

He kisses me again.

Sweetly this time.

I can't handle sweet. I want my body to feel as bruised and broken as my heart does right now.

He catches my need for pain and draws from his own.

His fingers ram into me harshly. There are no sweet words of readiness or warning.

I feel his body tense up as its pulling back to her.

I don't care.

In this moment he is mine. She cannot have him.

HE tickles my walls with his large fingers, massaging the most sensitive part of me.

The thrusting motions his hands and my soaking core makes a gushy, sucking like sound. I'm soaked.

The spot on the sheets underneath me tell my story.

My body reacts. My back lifting off the bed and arches into you.

He feels like home.

He licks his fingers; engraining my taste to memory.

He takes off what is left of his clothes and joins me on the bed.

I want to move but I can't. I'm too high of his scent and my first orgasm.

I burn his body into my brain.

Beautiful Jacob with his handsome face, his perfect smile, and the body and soul of a warrior. A true Alpha Male.

Mine. Always and never. The fire would burn us both.

He crashes into me.

Pounding away the hurt, the loss, and the frustration of never having me again. He grabs me so hard I know there will be bruises. I can hide those easy enough. They will heal faster than my heart will anyway.

I'm crying now.

But only on the inside.

I cry for the pleasure of it all and the pain that will soon follow.

Crying for the face I have to put on when I return to Derek.

Crying because as soon as this is over, he will go home to her and make love to her like she is the only one who matters to him.

In life's own little fucked up way, she is.

I'm falling.

I dig my nails into him drawing blood.

Wanting him to hurt as much physically as I do emotionally.

They will heal quickly but I will make new ones.

He starts to speak "Shhh. Don't." I'm begging him not to talk.

His words have too much power over me but I know all confessions of love are in vain.

His thrusts become harder now.

Both of our bodies beg for release.

We fall over together. Riding out the waves of our orgasms until the last sparks fade and we are left breathless.

This is not the time for cuddling and the after sex sighs and glowing.

You keep your promise not to speak as I get dressed in what is left of my clothes and make my way towards the door.

I fight the urge to look back.

I'm finally leaving you in my past.

I close the door.

I hear a muffled cry.

"I love you Leah. I'm so sorry."

"I just wish it was enough Jake."

If I hurry I can take a shower and make dinner before Derek gets home.