(Bella's POV)

If there was one thing that I was absolutely aware of, it was that I was completely shattered inside. I knew that I was beyond recognition and it shown just as noticeably on the outside. The past six months had left my life in shambles and each new day viciously battered at whatever was left of it. I was vulnerable in every single sense of the word and I knew I wouldn't last much longer if I didn't find something to cling to.

I thought I had found a something, or someone to hold on to only to be cast away just the same. My stronghold was Jacob Black; my best friend. He had revived me after so many months of darkness after Edward left. I used to think of him as the sun in my world of darkness at the time. But now, he left too. He joined the gang he used to spurn down in La Push with Sam Uley. I was once again left to wonder what was wrong with me and why everyone continued to leave.

As I lay in bed and thought about Jacob and dare I say Edward, I openly invited every memory I could think of. I thought of those months before Edward left. I thought about the moment he left me in the forest and I had tried to follow him. I thought about how Sam Uley found me, and after four months Jake began to come into my life and save. I also thought about last week, the last time I saw Jacob. Before he decided that he didn't want me in his life anymore. Every recollection that came stabbed a dagger through my heart and twisted it. Enlarging the hole in my heart every moment I thought about them, especially Edward. I don't remember falling asleep, but I do remember that I cried all night… even in my dreamless sleep.

Until Tomorrow – Paramore

I Climb, I Slip, I Fall
Reaching for your hands
But I lay here all alone
Sweating all your blood
If I could find out how
To make you listen now
Because I'm starving for you here
With my undying love and I
....I will

Breathe for love tomorrow
Cause there's no hope for today
Breathe for love tomorrow
Cause maybe there's another way

The next morning I woke up with my arms outstretched, searching for Edward, on what used to be his side of the bed. I was aware, as I was every morning for the past six months that I was laying there alone. I felt the beads of sweat on my brow and I buried my head and began to weep. I cried his name over and over again into my pillow. "Edward… Edward… Edward…" I knew he couldn't hear me but part of me hoped that he could and could hear my undying love that I was professing. My tears slowly dried and I sat up. I took a deep breath, breathing for love tomorrow. Hoping Edward would come back and love me, but I knew for a fact that there would be no hope for today. Today… I would be numb and I would be exposed.

I eventually got out of bed, after my breakdown, and walked to my closet. I never bothered dressing up for school anymore; I didn't have a reason to. I grabbed the first pair of jeans I could find from my closet and a red t-shirt. I went to the bathroom, brushed my teeth, put my hair up, and headed downstairs for breakfast.

Charlie was already there with his coffee, reading the paper. "You're mom called again."

I looked up at him, there was no personality in my voice, "Oh yeah? What'd she say?"

"She said she wanted you to call her. She's worried about you. You don't sound happy in your e-mails anymore and she knows you're not telling her the truth about you being 'fine'. She asked me about Jake but I didn't know what to tell her. How are things with Jacob?"

At this point I had grabbed some cereal out of the cabinet, poured the milk, and was in the process of getting my spoon when I realized he wanted an answer. "Um… well dad, Jake turned out like everyone else. He just ended up leaving. He won't answer my calls and neither will Billy."

"Just give it time Bells, I know it's hard but it'll work out."

I sighed and just wanted to be done with the conversation. At least at school, no one would talk to me about Jacob or Edward and would pretty much leave me be.

"Yeah, maybe your right," but I knew better. It wasn't going to be fine. I would end up alone in more ways than one.

I glanced at the clock and decided I could leave for school now and get there before I had free time to let my mind roam where I didn't want it to go.

"I'm going to be late for school dad, I better go. I'll see you later."

"Bye Bells." He voice was filled with sadness and I left wishing I was a better actress.