A/N: Set sometime between Seasons Three and Five. It doesn't matter.
It was just a regular night, out slaying vampires. No cults, no demonic rituals, no apocalypse looming…just vampire slaying. Just a regular night in Sunnydale.
Buffy and Willow were together on the other side of the cemetery, tackling a large group of fledgling vampires that had come out of graves en masse – the two girls had already taken care of the sire, who had apparently been trying to build some kind of an army. Idiot. He should have known that it wouldn't work. Not in Sunnydale. Not with the Slayer around.
It never ceased to amaze Xander how new vamps would come to town and not realize the Slayer was around. Surely word had spread to most, if not all, of the Underworld? Wasn't that why Spike came in the first place?
They came without a clue. And the Scoobies helped Buffy take them out.
"Wow!" Xander laughed breathlessly, dodging under a flailing swipe from the fledgling he was facing off with. "You hit like a—"
Xander broke off. Like a girl? No way. Not with Buffy around.
Like a nerd? Hello, magic-using Willow, soul-restorer and all around pretty badass Wiccan.
Like a wimp? Xander had been able to dust vampires, even back in high school. He wasn't as much of a wimp now, but it had only been a few brief years from that time.
Like an old man? The G-man was getting older, but he wielded a mean sword, could spar with Buffy, and had who knew how many tricks up his sleeves from his adolescence.
Suddenly, Xander realized that he needed to come up with a new insult.
"Like a what?" the fledgling attacking him growled, trying to take another strike at him while he was distracted. It failed to hit.
Xander got a flash of inspiration from Anya.
"Like a…bunny!" he said.
The fledgling paused in the middle of his next attack. "What?" he asked. "That doesn't even make sense—"
That was as far as he got before Xander's stake stabbed him through the heart, and he dissolved with a scream and liberal amounts of dust.
"Well, obviously you haven't met Anya," Xander muttered, brushing dirt off himself. "She would think that it was a grave insult. Or maybe a compliment to your ferociousness. It's hard to tell with her…"
Distant shouts came from the other end of the graveyard, and after quickly scooping up his stake from the ground, Xander jogged off in that direction.
I really need to come up with new insults, he thought dejectedly.
Fin.