Jeff- *playing with Barbies* Ken, I want to go for a ride! Alright, Barbie,
Let's take the bright pink Jeep!
Matt- *shakes his head* I'm not related to him.
Lita- Are you sure?
M- *glares at Lita, then at Jeff*
J- Oh, Ken, don't drive so fast! I'm scared! Don't worry, Barbie, I'll keep you safe.
L- *giggles*
J- Lita, come play with me!
L- Okay! *skips over to play with Jeff*
M- Lita! Don't encourage him!
J- *sticks his tongue out* It's not my fault that she likes me more than you, Matty!
M- *storms out of the room, slamming the door behind him*
Christian- Whoa! Watch out!
M- Sorry, Christian.
C- Wow, you look kinda pissed.
M- Lita just abandoned me to play Barbies with Jeff.
C- You can't be serious.
M- I'm serious.
C- *is doubled over in laughter*
M- Grrrrrrr……….
C- Sorry, Matt, but it's just kinda funny to imagine Lita playing Barbies. Jeff….well……
M- Yeah…
C- Well, I'm gonna go hang out with Edge. You wanna come with?
M- I'll do anything if it gets me away from Jeff and his Barbies!
*There is a high-pitched scream from inside the room. Matt and Christian look at each other and walk quickly away.*
J- Barbie's dead. Silly Ken. He drove too fast and killed her.
L- Now what?
J- I was getting bored with them anyways. Wanna paint my nails for me?
L- Sure!
J- Yay!
Edge- Hey, man!
M- Hey.
E- What's goin' on wit you?
C- Jeff and Lita are playing Barbies.
E- *slight pause* Dude, that is SO Jeff. But Lita?
M- *shakes head* I think she's lost her mind.
C- I'm surprised that you haven't lost yours with all the time you spend with Jeff.
M- Me, too.
*There is a knock at the door. Edge opens it.*
E- Hello?
*Kurt Angle runs in.*
Kurt- Help! Stone Cold is chasing me! He wants me to drink beer!
C- So?
K- So? So? SO? You want me to ruin myself by drinking beer? I don't think so! I drink milk!
C- It wouldn't hurt you to take a sip of beer.
K- Yes it would! It would.
M- Kurt, get a life.
K- I have a life, you little country bumpkin. Oh, it's true!
C- Kurt, you totally reek of weirdness.
K- *glares at Christian*
*There is another knock at the door. Kurt looks scared. Christian answers the door*
Stone Cold- Where the hell is he?
C- Where's who?
S- What?
C- *glares*
S- Where is the son-bitch?
C- Kurt?
S- Who else would I be talkin' 'bout? Gimme him!
C- *pauses* No. Why should I?
S&UnseenCrowd- Cuz Stone Cold says so!
C- *to the crowd* Where did you guys come from?
UC- Actually, we were just leaving.
C- Good. *to Stone Cold* I don't care what you say. *slams door in his face*
*They hear him lumbering away, swearing at them*
K- Thanks, Christian!
C- No problem!
*Another knock at the door*
E- *looking a bit annoyed* What do you want?
Rock- Have you seen the Rock's fuzzy pink bunny slippers?
E- *stares blankly at the Rock for a second* Have I seen the Rock's what?
R- The Rock's fuzzy pink bunny slippers. They look like this. *Holds up a picture*
E- A. I think you have some major issues and B. No, I haven't seen your slippers. *slams door in the Rock's face* I hope that that was the last visitor.
K- *looking around him* Say, do you have any milk?
E&C- No, Kurt.
K- Are you sure?
E&C- Yes, Kurt.
K- But I want milk. Are you positive?
E&C- Positive, Kurt.
K- Oh. Darn it. *goes to sit in the corner. All others stare at him*
M- You okay, Kurt?
K- Milk…must have milk…
M- *blinks and slowly backs away, realizing that he is wearing a cow-print jacket*
C- Whoa…
*There is another knock at the door. Edge looks pissed*
M- I'll get it. *Opens the door* Hello?
Trish- Did I leave my bra in here last night? I can't seem to- *stops* Whoops, wrong room! *rushes away*
M- *closes the door* Slut!
C- Who was it?
M- That slut, Trish.
E- *makes a yucky face* Eww!
*Everyone laughs*
C- Yup.
*Someone else knocks on the door. Matt answers it again.*
J- Matty! Save me! *leaps into Matt's arms, crying*
M- *looks confused. Hears laughing and look out the door into the hallway to see Lita, holding a big furry mask*
L- *giggles* Jeff, why'd you run away from me?
J- *screams and buries his head into Matt's neck*
M- Damnit, Lita, how many times do I have to tell you not to scare Jeff?
L- *giggles*
M- *slams the door in Lita's face* Aw, my poor Jeffy. *rubs Jeff's back*
J- Oh! Matty! Looky! Lita painted my nails sparkly!
M- That's wonderful Jeff.
J- They're pretty.
M- Yes, they are. Can you get out of my arms now?
J- *tightens his grip* No! I'm still scared!
K- Milk……
J- What's wrong with him?
C- He's going through milk withdrawal.
J- *slowly* Oh….. *looks confused* Why?
E- Jeff, you totally reek of stupidity.
J- Hey! That's……Matty, what does that mean?
M- Jeffy, I think you need to stop hitting your head so much.
J- Oh. Okay.
K- Must have milk. *is rocking back and forth*
J- Matty, he's scaring me.
M- Me, too.
E- Me, three.
C- Maybe we should go get him some milk.
K- Milk? Did somebody say milk?
C- No, Kurt.
K- Oh, darn it….*bursts into tears*
E- *looks scared* Good idea…I'll go get it! *bolts out of the room*
C- Bitch.
*Knock on door*
C- *opens the door and glares*
Vince- *holding up a large, lacy black bra* Have you seen Trish?
C- Uh…Vince…It's just a thought, but I don't think that you should be walking around with that…
V- I've got to give it back to Trish! She left it in my room last night.
C- Um, she went that way. *points down the hall*
V- Thanks, Christian! *rushes off down the hall*
C- *blinks* Alrighty. *shuts the door*
M- Who was that?
C- Vince……he had the slut's bra…
M&J- *blink*
K- *still rocking back and forth*
*Beating on the door* Help me! Let me in! Hurry!
J- *rushes out of Matt's arms to open the door, opens it, screams, and slams it shut again.*
M- Jeff! *runs to the door and opens it. A frantic Kane rushes in*
Ka- He's after me! Help me! Hide me!
C- What's wrong? Who's after you?
Ka- The Rock is!
M- Why?
Ka- I accidentally stepped on his fuzzy pink bunny slippers. I mean, it's not my fault he left them on the floor in the lobby!
*Voice in the hall- Kane! Bring your candy ass out here! I'ma lay the Smackdown on you and your bunny killing feet!*
Ka- *runs into the bathroom and they hear the door lock*
J- *laughs*
M- Shh……
*pounding on the door*
M- *opens the door* Yes?
R- *looks around. Damnit, he's not here! *stalks off*
M- *shuts the door*
J- Ohh…The big, bad Rock is after Kane……scary, scary!
K- Must…have…milk…Must…have…milk…
Ka- *comes out of the bathroom* Thanks, guys. I'm gonna go hide in Taker's room now. *leaves*
J- The big, bad Rock is gonna get you, Kane! Scary, Scary!
*Voice in the hall- Dude! This totally reeks of awesomeness!*
C- That sounded like Edge. Let's go see what's he's talking about!
*They all go out into the hall (except Kurt) and see Val Venus stumbling around with an arrow through his chest*
E- Doesn't this reek of awesomeness?
C- Dude!
M- Whoa…
J- *giggles* He's gonna die, just like Barbie did!
E- I've got Kurt's milk. Let's go give it to him!
C- Alright, good idea!
*They go into the room, ignoring Val's cries for help*
E- Kurt, I've got something for you!
K- *looks up hopefully* Milk?
E- *nods* Yuppy!
K- MILK!!!!!!!! *jumps up and grabs the milk, then drinks it as fast as he can*
E- *grins*
K- *leaps into Edge's arms and starts kissing his face all over* Thank you, Thank you, Thank you! I love you so much! Milk! Yay!
E- *looks scared* Um…Yeah! *pushes Kurt down*
K- *singing* Milk! Milk! Milk! Milk! Milk! Milk! Milk! Milk! *dances around the room*
*Knock on door*
K- *opens the door* Hello? *looks down, confused*
Iguana- Hi!
K- What the…?
*The little green iguana walks in*
I- What's up, guys?
E- *screams like a girl and leaps into Matt's arms* Mommy, protect me!
M- I'm not your mommy!
E- *starts crying*
C- Edge, what's wrong?
E- *sniffles and refuses to move from Matt's arms* He was chasing me earlier. He's mean and scary!
I- *evil little smile* You were so much fun to chase. I think tha- OW! FUCK! What the…?
*Everyone looks up to see Jeff holding a knife and a squirming green iguana tail while giggling*
M- Jeff, what the hell is your problem?
J- *still giggling* I just wanted to see if it would keep moving. Hehehe! It did!
I- Damnit, that hurts, you bastard!
K- Jeff, lemme see it! *takes the tail from Jeff and starts to giggle like a schoolgirl* This is so cool! *They both double over in laughter*
E- Matty, save me from the evil little green thing that talks!
M- Don't worry, Edge, he won't hurt you.
C- *looks strangely at Edge and Matt. Edge's arms and legs are wrapped tightly around Matt, who is staring at him.* Um…Guys?
M&E- What? Huh? Oh…
C- Major weirdness.
E- *still clinging to Matt* No kidding.
*There is a knock at the door*
E- Oh, I'll get it! *leaps out of Matt's arms and skips over to the door, almost stepping on the iguana.*
I- Grrrr……
E- Hello?
Salesman- Hi, I'm here today to offer you some products.
E- Since when do hotels have door-to-door salesmen?
SM- Since I found out who was staying here.
E- Huh?
MS- Anyways, I'm here to try and sell you our wonderful hair dyes.
J- *screeching* HAIR DYE? *flies to the door* Hair dye? I love hair dye!
SM- *evil smile* Well, now, I guess you do. But that purple hair of yours is in bad need of a touch-up. What colors would you like?
J- Um…blue! And green. Oh, and purple and red! Do you have orange? I want orange, too. Oh my god! You have that awesome color of teal that I love! I'll take five of those!… *After purchasing 20 boxes of hair dye, he shuts the door*
M- What a waste of money.
J- Here's your wallet back, Matty.
M- *lunges at Jeff*
C- *stops Matt* Don't hurt him, Matt. Please? We don't want to see Jeff's blood.
I- Yes, we do!
E- What the hell are you still doing here? *pulls out bow and arrow and shoots the iguana*
C- Dude, why do you have a bow?
E- *gets all red* Um……Uh……
M- Oh my god! Val was killed by an arrow!
E- It wasn't me! I swear it wasn't!
M- Oh. Okay!
E- *turns around and grins like a maniac. He picks up the iguana, pulls out a lighter, set's the iguana's body on fire and throws the flaming carcass out the window*
K- *giggles*
E- *does the same thing with the bow*
J- Matty, I'm scared of Edge…
M- Don't worry, Jeffy. He's harmless. I think…
*Knock at the door*
C- *opens the door* Hello?
Author (Vicki)- Hey, guys, this story really needs to end. *stops and stares at Christian* Damn, you are really hott…
C- Yeah, I know. And I speak European.
A- *swoons*
C- *catches Vicki and carries her away to where they live happily ever after with their full time maid, Kurt, and their charming, multi-colored, poetry-writing pet, Jeff*
Matt- *shakes his head* I'm not related to him.
Lita- Are you sure?
M- *glares at Lita, then at Jeff*
J- Oh, Ken, don't drive so fast! I'm scared! Don't worry, Barbie, I'll keep you safe.
L- *giggles*
J- Lita, come play with me!
L- Okay! *skips over to play with Jeff*
M- Lita! Don't encourage him!
J- *sticks his tongue out* It's not my fault that she likes me more than you, Matty!
M- *storms out of the room, slamming the door behind him*
Christian- Whoa! Watch out!
M- Sorry, Christian.
C- Wow, you look kinda pissed.
M- Lita just abandoned me to play Barbies with Jeff.
C- You can't be serious.
M- I'm serious.
C- *is doubled over in laughter*
M- Grrrrrrr……….
C- Sorry, Matt, but it's just kinda funny to imagine Lita playing Barbies. Jeff….well……
M- Yeah…
C- Well, I'm gonna go hang out with Edge. You wanna come with?
M- I'll do anything if it gets me away from Jeff and his Barbies!
*There is a high-pitched scream from inside the room. Matt and Christian look at each other and walk quickly away.*
J- Barbie's dead. Silly Ken. He drove too fast and killed her.
L- Now what?
J- I was getting bored with them anyways. Wanna paint my nails for me?
L- Sure!
J- Yay!
Edge- Hey, man!
M- Hey.
E- What's goin' on wit you?
C- Jeff and Lita are playing Barbies.
E- *slight pause* Dude, that is SO Jeff. But Lita?
M- *shakes head* I think she's lost her mind.
C- I'm surprised that you haven't lost yours with all the time you spend with Jeff.
M- Me, too.
*There is a knock at the door. Edge opens it.*
E- Hello?
*Kurt Angle runs in.*
Kurt- Help! Stone Cold is chasing me! He wants me to drink beer!
C- So?
K- So? So? SO? You want me to ruin myself by drinking beer? I don't think so! I drink milk!
C- It wouldn't hurt you to take a sip of beer.
K- Yes it would! It would.
M- Kurt, get a life.
K- I have a life, you little country bumpkin. Oh, it's true!
C- Kurt, you totally reek of weirdness.
K- *glares at Christian*
*There is another knock at the door. Kurt looks scared. Christian answers the door*
Stone Cold- Where the hell is he?
C- Where's who?
S- What?
C- *glares*
S- Where is the son-bitch?
C- Kurt?
S- Who else would I be talkin' 'bout? Gimme him!
C- *pauses* No. Why should I?
S&UnseenCrowd- Cuz Stone Cold says so!
C- *to the crowd* Where did you guys come from?
UC- Actually, we were just leaving.
C- Good. *to Stone Cold* I don't care what you say. *slams door in his face*
*They hear him lumbering away, swearing at them*
K- Thanks, Christian!
C- No problem!
*Another knock at the door*
E- *looking a bit annoyed* What do you want?
Rock- Have you seen the Rock's fuzzy pink bunny slippers?
E- *stares blankly at the Rock for a second* Have I seen the Rock's what?
R- The Rock's fuzzy pink bunny slippers. They look like this. *Holds up a picture*
E- A. I think you have some major issues and B. No, I haven't seen your slippers. *slams door in the Rock's face* I hope that that was the last visitor.
K- *looking around him* Say, do you have any milk?
E&C- No, Kurt.
K- Are you sure?
E&C- Yes, Kurt.
K- But I want milk. Are you positive?
E&C- Positive, Kurt.
K- Oh. Darn it. *goes to sit in the corner. All others stare at him*
M- You okay, Kurt?
K- Milk…must have milk…
M- *blinks and slowly backs away, realizing that he is wearing a cow-print jacket*
C- Whoa…
*There is another knock at the door. Edge looks pissed*
M- I'll get it. *Opens the door* Hello?
Trish- Did I leave my bra in here last night? I can't seem to- *stops* Whoops, wrong room! *rushes away*
M- *closes the door* Slut!
C- Who was it?
M- That slut, Trish.
E- *makes a yucky face* Eww!
*Everyone laughs*
C- Yup.
*Someone else knocks on the door. Matt answers it again.*
J- Matty! Save me! *leaps into Matt's arms, crying*
M- *looks confused. Hears laughing and look out the door into the hallway to see Lita, holding a big furry mask*
L- *giggles* Jeff, why'd you run away from me?
J- *screams and buries his head into Matt's neck*
M- Damnit, Lita, how many times do I have to tell you not to scare Jeff?
L- *giggles*
M- *slams the door in Lita's face* Aw, my poor Jeffy. *rubs Jeff's back*
J- Oh! Matty! Looky! Lita painted my nails sparkly!
M- That's wonderful Jeff.
J- They're pretty.
M- Yes, they are. Can you get out of my arms now?
J- *tightens his grip* No! I'm still scared!
K- Milk……
J- What's wrong with him?
C- He's going through milk withdrawal.
J- *slowly* Oh….. *looks confused* Why?
E- Jeff, you totally reek of stupidity.
J- Hey! That's……Matty, what does that mean?
M- Jeffy, I think you need to stop hitting your head so much.
J- Oh. Okay.
K- Must have milk. *is rocking back and forth*
J- Matty, he's scaring me.
M- Me, too.
E- Me, three.
C- Maybe we should go get him some milk.
K- Milk? Did somebody say milk?
C- No, Kurt.
K- Oh, darn it….*bursts into tears*
E- *looks scared* Good idea…I'll go get it! *bolts out of the room*
C- Bitch.
*Knock on door*
C- *opens the door and glares*
Vince- *holding up a large, lacy black bra* Have you seen Trish?
C- Uh…Vince…It's just a thought, but I don't think that you should be walking around with that…
V- I've got to give it back to Trish! She left it in my room last night.
C- Um, she went that way. *points down the hall*
V- Thanks, Christian! *rushes off down the hall*
C- *blinks* Alrighty. *shuts the door*
M- Who was that?
C- Vince……he had the slut's bra…
M&J- *blink*
K- *still rocking back and forth*
*Beating on the door* Help me! Let me in! Hurry!
J- *rushes out of Matt's arms to open the door, opens it, screams, and slams it shut again.*
M- Jeff! *runs to the door and opens it. A frantic Kane rushes in*
Ka- He's after me! Help me! Hide me!
C- What's wrong? Who's after you?
Ka- The Rock is!
M- Why?
Ka- I accidentally stepped on his fuzzy pink bunny slippers. I mean, it's not my fault he left them on the floor in the lobby!
*Voice in the hall- Kane! Bring your candy ass out here! I'ma lay the Smackdown on you and your bunny killing feet!*
Ka- *runs into the bathroom and they hear the door lock*
J- *laughs*
M- Shh……
*pounding on the door*
M- *opens the door* Yes?
R- *looks around. Damnit, he's not here! *stalks off*
M- *shuts the door*
J- Ohh…The big, bad Rock is after Kane……scary, scary!
K- Must…have…milk…Must…have…milk…
Ka- *comes out of the bathroom* Thanks, guys. I'm gonna go hide in Taker's room now. *leaves*
J- The big, bad Rock is gonna get you, Kane! Scary, Scary!
*Voice in the hall- Dude! This totally reeks of awesomeness!*
C- That sounded like Edge. Let's go see what's he's talking about!
*They all go out into the hall (except Kurt) and see Val Venus stumbling around with an arrow through his chest*
E- Doesn't this reek of awesomeness?
C- Dude!
M- Whoa…
J- *giggles* He's gonna die, just like Barbie did!
E- I've got Kurt's milk. Let's go give it to him!
C- Alright, good idea!
*They go into the room, ignoring Val's cries for help*
E- Kurt, I've got something for you!
K- *looks up hopefully* Milk?
E- *nods* Yuppy!
K- MILK!!!!!!!! *jumps up and grabs the milk, then drinks it as fast as he can*
E- *grins*
K- *leaps into Edge's arms and starts kissing his face all over* Thank you, Thank you, Thank you! I love you so much! Milk! Yay!
E- *looks scared* Um…Yeah! *pushes Kurt down*
K- *singing* Milk! Milk! Milk! Milk! Milk! Milk! Milk! Milk! *dances around the room*
*Knock on door*
K- *opens the door* Hello? *looks down, confused*
Iguana- Hi!
K- What the…?
*The little green iguana walks in*
I- What's up, guys?
E- *screams like a girl and leaps into Matt's arms* Mommy, protect me!
M- I'm not your mommy!
E- *starts crying*
C- Edge, what's wrong?
E- *sniffles and refuses to move from Matt's arms* He was chasing me earlier. He's mean and scary!
I- *evil little smile* You were so much fun to chase. I think tha- OW! FUCK! What the…?
*Everyone looks up to see Jeff holding a knife and a squirming green iguana tail while giggling*
M- Jeff, what the hell is your problem?
J- *still giggling* I just wanted to see if it would keep moving. Hehehe! It did!
I- Damnit, that hurts, you bastard!
K- Jeff, lemme see it! *takes the tail from Jeff and starts to giggle like a schoolgirl* This is so cool! *They both double over in laughter*
E- Matty, save me from the evil little green thing that talks!
M- Don't worry, Edge, he won't hurt you.
C- *looks strangely at Edge and Matt. Edge's arms and legs are wrapped tightly around Matt, who is staring at him.* Um…Guys?
M&E- What? Huh? Oh…
C- Major weirdness.
E- *still clinging to Matt* No kidding.
*There is a knock at the door*
E- Oh, I'll get it! *leaps out of Matt's arms and skips over to the door, almost stepping on the iguana.*
I- Grrrr……
E- Hello?
Salesman- Hi, I'm here today to offer you some products.
E- Since when do hotels have door-to-door salesmen?
SM- Since I found out who was staying here.
E- Huh?
MS- Anyways, I'm here to try and sell you our wonderful hair dyes.
J- *screeching* HAIR DYE? *flies to the door* Hair dye? I love hair dye!
SM- *evil smile* Well, now, I guess you do. But that purple hair of yours is in bad need of a touch-up. What colors would you like?
J- Um…blue! And green. Oh, and purple and red! Do you have orange? I want orange, too. Oh my god! You have that awesome color of teal that I love! I'll take five of those!… *After purchasing 20 boxes of hair dye, he shuts the door*
M- What a waste of money.
J- Here's your wallet back, Matty.
M- *lunges at Jeff*
C- *stops Matt* Don't hurt him, Matt. Please? We don't want to see Jeff's blood.
I- Yes, we do!
E- What the hell are you still doing here? *pulls out bow and arrow and shoots the iguana*
C- Dude, why do you have a bow?
E- *gets all red* Um……Uh……
M- Oh my god! Val was killed by an arrow!
E- It wasn't me! I swear it wasn't!
M- Oh. Okay!
E- *turns around and grins like a maniac. He picks up the iguana, pulls out a lighter, set's the iguana's body on fire and throws the flaming carcass out the window*
K- *giggles*
E- *does the same thing with the bow*
J- Matty, I'm scared of Edge…
M- Don't worry, Jeffy. He's harmless. I think…
*Knock at the door*
C- *opens the door* Hello?
Author (Vicki)- Hey, guys, this story really needs to end. *stops and stares at Christian* Damn, you are really hott…
C- Yeah, I know. And I speak European.
A- *swoons*
C- *catches Vicki and carries her away to where they live happily ever after with their full time maid, Kurt, and their charming, multi-colored, poetry-writing pet, Jeff*