Well, I was wondering what would happen if a random idiot (Or not such a random idiot) bought every card in the history of Duel Monsters (and more) and then challenged Yugi. So I wrote this story.
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Sublime vs. Ridiculous
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Yugi Mouto stepped into the stadium, hearing the crowds scream his name. He looked across the field and saw his opponent. The man resembled Kaiba, but instead of a business suit, he was wearing a T-shirt and jeans. He had an absurd smile plastered on his face. Meanwhile, twenty-five feet above them, a voice blared from the announcer's box.
"And the contestants have entered the stadium! It's the King of Games, Yugi Mouto, against the self-described Seto Kaiba's Idiotic But Equally Rich Moron Of A Brother, Skibermoab, or Skib for short! Who will triumph?"
"I will!" called Skib from his place. "You're going down, Yugi!"
"That's strange. Kaiba never mentioned a third brother. Although, with a brother like he was described, he probably didn't want to admit they were related." thought Yugi. Then a bell rang, signaling the start of the game. Yugi went first. (YLP 4000, SLP 4000)
"I summon Obnoxious Celtic Guardian in attack mode." The familiar green-armored warrior appeared on the field (Atk 1400). "And I'll set a facedown."
Skib laughed.
"You think that'll be enough? I play Polymerization to fuse my Blue-Eyes into Blue-Eyes Ultimate Dragon!" The enormous three-headed dragon roared at Yugi as it was summoned to the field.
"Next, I'll sacrifice him to summon Blue-Eyes Shining Dragon!" Blue-Eyes Ultimate screamed with pain as it shattered, and the metallic-looking Blue-Eyes Shining Dragon took it's place (Atk:3000). "And he gains 300 attack points for every Dragon in the Graveyard! (Atk 4200) Now, use your special ability to destroy Yugi's facedown! Shining Nova!" Shining Dragon exploded, taking Yugi's Spellbinding Circle with it. Yugi frowned.
"Why would he destroy my Spellbinding Circle? Doesn't he know that Shining Dragon wouldn't be affected by it? And now he's wide open." Yugi's thoughts were interrupted by Skib calling. "I set a Trap Card."
"Why would he tell me that it's a Trap Card?" Again, Yugi was interrupted, this time by the announcer. "And Skib makes an incredibly stupid…" Skib glared at him. "Uh… I mean strategically brilliant move! Yay Skib!" Skib clapped with delight. "Your turn Yugi, as if there's anything you could do!"
Yugi smiled. "I draw!" He looked at his card. "Perfect! I play Polymerization to fuse Berfomet and Gazelle the King of Mythical Beasts to form Chimera the Flying Mythical Beast!" The two monsters fused, forming a monster that resembled a winged, two-headed lion (Atk 2100). Now, Obnoxious Celtic Guardian, attack! Silver Blade Slash!" Obnoxious Celtic Guardian jumped across the field and slashed at Skib.
"Activate Trap! Gift Card!" Skib's Trap Card flipped up, showing a picture of a wrapped present. "Take that Yugi!"
Yugi grinned as his Life Points rose to 7000. Skib's eyes went wide. "Why didn't my Trap Card do anything!"
"It did exactly what it's supposed to. It gave me 3000 extra Life Points." Skib went pale.
"You mean…"
"My attack still goes through!" Celtic Guardian completed his slash, and Skib stumbled backward (SLP 2600). Celtic Guardian jumped back to Yugi's field, a satisfied expression on his face.
"Now, my Chimera, attack!" Chimera flew across the field and delivered a powerful strike to Skib (SLP 500). Skib did something unexpected. He sat down and cried.
"You can't attack me! I'm rich! And it's my turn!" Skib drew and immediately stopped crying. "I play Superhero Force! It's an Ultra-Rare card that lets me summon all five of the original Elemental Heroes to the field. So come on out!"
Avian, Bubbleman, Burstinatrix, Clayman, and Sparkman all appeared in a flash of light. Skib smiled happily. "Now, all of you, attack Chimera the Flyer Beast Thingy! Since their attack points add up to more than his, he goes bye-bye! Hooray!" The Elemental Heroes flew across the field at Chimera. Yugi was confused.
"That isn't how it works! You just ordered your monsters to attack me one by one!"
Skib was doing a victory dance on the other end of the field. "Yay me! Yay me! Yay…wait, what?!" Chimera was currently in the process of destroying all the Heroes. "No, wait! Come back! I changed my mind! Stop attacking, stop it, stop it!" Chimera finished off Bubbleman and spat out Sparkman's helmet, which bounced once, then exploded into pixels. Skib screamed as his Life Points dropped to -4700. "How is this possible? Life Points can't go into negatives!" Then a voice came out of Skib's Duel Disk.
"Actually, I can. When you told your underlings to create me, you expressly told them you wanted it to be capable of going into negatives, so you could see how much you lost by. In this case, you lost by 8700 Life Points."
"Is that bad?" asked Skib weakly.
"Yes, that is very bad."
Skib burst into tears, and didn't stop crying until he was forcibly removed from the stadium. Then everyone in the bleachers stood up. Yugi looked at them and saw they were all identical to Skib. One by one, every person in the bleachers started crying. Even the guards and announcer transformed into Skib and bawled as loudly as everyone else. Yugi twitched in pain as the noise penetrated his skull. Then….
DINGALINGALINGALINGALINGALING!!!!!
Yugi sat up straight, breathing hard. He looked around.
"It's okay. No Skib. No crying. Just a nightmare. All because of your alarm clock." Yugi got out of bed, got dressed, and ate breakfast. After breakfast, Grandpa seemed rushed.
"What's wrong, Grandpa?" Yugi asked.
"We have to be ready soon! You have a match in an hour!"
"With who?"
"I don't know much about him. He's some guy named Skib who kinda looks like Kaiba."
Yugi screamed and fainted.
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Kehehehehe….twist ending!