A/N: Hi! This is a one-shot for randomgirl18's contest. It tells about the break-up in New Moon from Edward POV. I worked hard on this, please review ok? :] ( I never realized this before I started writing fanfiction instead of just reading it, but reviews make the author feel good, and I think if you're doing a chapter story, it really helps with updating faster. Now I feel bad for never reviewing people's stories before lol) By the way, I know this is WAY shorter than 4,000, which was the word limit, but where I ended it just felt like the right place to end it. Looking back at it, I guess it sounds a little weird, but it just came out that way, and at the time, it sounded right. I don't know, I'm weird like that I guess haha. Wow, sorry for the super duper long A/N, haha. –Lily1497
Word Count: 2,158
I listened as Bella's thunderous truck drove down the road towards the house. She parked next to me and stepped out, her bag on her shoulder and her hair blowing a little in the slight breeze. I strode over to her and took her bag, pushing it back into the truck.
Bella watched me with an expression in her eyes that I couldn't quite put my finger on. Like she knew something was wrong, very wrong.
I took a deep breath and said, "Come for a walk with me." I forced out the words, praying that I sounded nonchalant enough. This was going to be excruciatingly hard. I ran everything I had to tell him in my head as we walked towards the trees. I stopped.
I leaned against a tree, keeping my face smooth, remote, in control.
"Okay. Let's talk."
I took a deep breath, preparing myself. I can do this, I thought, For Bella.
"Bella, we're leaving."
She didn't look the least bit surprised, or shocked, or hurt. Maybe this would be easier than I'd thought. Not easier to leave, that would be harder than ever, but easier to make her believe. Believe I didn't care for her; love her more than anything I'd ever known.
"Why now? Another year-"I cut her off.
"Bella, it's time. How much longer could we stay in Forks, after all? Carlisle can barely pass for thirty, and he's claiming thirty-three now. We'd have to start over soon regardless."
We stared at each other, and I had to remember to be nonchalant, unfriendly even, if I had to. I couldn't slip up. I had to do this.
Suddenly her face changed, horrified.
"When you say we-"
"I mean my family and myself."
She shook her slowly and a few minutes passed before either of us spoke.
"Okay, I'll come with you." Oh, how I wished she could. But I had to be strong. I had to do this, for her. For Bella.
"You can't, Bella. Where we're going, it's not this right place for you." With me was the wrong pace for her.
As if reading my thoughts, she said, "Where you are is the right place for me."
"I'm no good for you, Bella." I'd been trying to tell her that, right from the very beginning, but my selfish side had won over.
"Don't be ridiculous. You're the very best part of my life."
"My world is not for you." I pushed away the thoughts about Alice's vision, James and Victoria, Jasper losing control.
Again seemingly in sync with my thoughts, Bella said, "What happened with Jasper, that was nothing, Edward! Nothing!"
"You're right. It was exactly to be expected."
"You promised! In Phoenix, you promised that you would stay-"
"As long as that was best for you."
"No! This is about my soul, isn't it?" she yelled. "Carlisle told me about that, and I don't care, Edward, I don't care! You can have my soul. I don't want it without you- it's yours already!"
I realized I was doing enough, she still thought, knew I loved her. I had to do this. I shouldn't have interfered with her life, she deserved better. A sudden sense of determination came over me. I had to do this. She was the only thing that mattered right now, the only thing that mattered ever. I would do anything for her. I could do this. I had to do it right. Make her believe my words, my lies.
"Bella, I don't want you to come with me." I watched her carefully, trying once again to hear her thoughts. Once again, they were silent. I longed to know what she was thinking, what she was feeling. But then again, maybe it was better that I couldn't her. I didn't think I could've held my resolve if she was hurt, betrayed, probably resentful.
"You…don't…want me?" If I could cry, I would've right then and there. It was impossible for me not to want her, every second for the rest of eternity. It nearly destroyed me to say the simple word, to hurt Bella. But I forced it out.
"No."
She looked into my eyes, searching for the truth. I had to remember to keep my expression calm, uncaring. I gazed into her eyes too, knowing this would be the last time. Never again would I see her deep, warm chocolate brown eyes, never again would I caress her soft face in my palm or hold her in my arms.
"Well, that changes things." Her voice was calm. Maybe she would be over me sooner than I thought. I couldn't take it anymore. I looked away from her. Bella. My Bella.
"Of course, I'll always love you," What was I saying? I quickly patched up my slip. "…in a way. But what happened the other night made me realize that it's time for a change. Because I'm tired of pretending to be something I'm not, Bella. I am not human." I looked back to her face and spoke the only truth I'd said so far.
"I've let this go on for much too long, and I'm sorry for that."
"Don't." Bella whispered, her eyes pleading with me, burning into my face. "Don't do this." I stared at her, trying to gain back my determination.
"You're not good for me Bella." I had to hurt her, and it killed me, ripped through my whole body like a fire. I just barely managed to keep my calm, vacant expression.
She opened her mouth, and then closed it. I could tell I'd hit a nerve and I struggled to keep myself in control.
"If…that's what you want." I nodded; afraid I would blurt out the truth again. I had to make her promise me though. I couldn't go on if anything happened to her. I almost shuddered.
"I would like to ask one favor, though, if that's not too much."
Her face became intense, almost determined. I could see she was more than willing to carry out whatever my favor was, and I couldn't help it. My face contorted in pain, regret, longing to stay with her, not to hurt her. I quickly pulled myself together though. I was being selfish.
"Anything."
I focused my gaze on her, staring deep into her eyes, trying to communicate how much this meant to me.
"Don't do anything reckless or stupid. Do you understand?" She nodded.
I backtracked quickly though. I had to make this work. I had to make Bella safe, no matter the cost to me.
"I'm thinking of Charlie, of course. He needs you. Take care of yourself, for him." She nodded again, and whispered, "I will." I relaxed slightly. She'd promised, I'd seen the look of determination in her eyes, and I knew she would keep this promise. As long as she didn't get hurt, or worse, I could do this. It would be the hardest thing I ever had to do, but I could do it.
"And I'll make you a promise in return. I promise that this'll be the last time you'll see me. I won't come back. I won't put you through anything like this again. You can go on with your life, without any more interference from me. It will be as if I never existed." I struggled to make myself say the words that would end all happiness, all meaning.
She began shaking violently, and I very nearly blew the whole thing by hugging her and comforting her. I covered up my concern by saying, "Don't worry. You're human- your memory is no more than a sieve. Time heals all wounds for your kind."
"And your memories?" she choked out.
"Well," I wondered what I should tell her. "I won't forget. But my kind… we're very easily distracted. I forced myself to smile; it felt like bursting into laughter unexpectedly at a funeral.
I stepped back. "That's everything, I suppose. We won't bother you again." A strange look crossed her face.
"Alice isn't coming back." She breathed. I shook my head, watching her reaction.
"No. They're all gone. I stayed behind to tell you goodbye."
"Alice is gone?"
"She wanted to say goodbye, but I convinced her that a clean break would be better for you."
"Edward, you can't do this." She'd said.
"It's the only way."
"No! It's not." She crossed her arms stubbornly.
"This is none of your-"
"It is too my business!" Alice yelled. Jasper was there in an instant.
"Alice, listen to me. I'm going to tell Bella you left with Jasper to Denali. She glared at me, and said in her thoughts, "I at least want to tell her-"
"No!"
"Why not?" she said out loud, starting to get angry again.
"Because I-I can't just tell her we're leaving, she'll want to come, I have to make her…" I paused, hesitating. "…I have to make her believe I… don't… love her. She has to think that, it's crucial. She has to get over me."
"You and I both know Bella and she won't-"
"She will. She's human. It's in her nature for all wounds to heal with time." She shook her head and walked away with Jasper, turning slightly to look over her shoulder at me as they stepped out the door. I could see in her eyes, hear in her thoughts that every ounce of her disapproved of this. I looked away.
I pulled myself out of my thoughts and prepared myself. I wasn't sure if I could do it, not in a million years would I unless Bella's life, her safety, all depended on it.
I took a deep breath. " Goodbye, Bella."
"Wait!" she reached for me, her face panicked. I held her wrists and touched my lips to her forehead. I wanted to wrap my arms around her, tell her everything was going to be alright and it was all a joke. But I gathered every bit of strength I had and said, "Take care of yourself." And then I left. I ran faster than I'd ever run before, willing myself not to turn around and go back to her. It was like there was some sort of gravitational pull, trying to bring me back to Bella.
I stopped, about ten miles away. I decided I should go leave a note for Charlie, in case Bella searched for me in the woods. I shuddered at the thought, but I knew I could go back and guide her out of the forest. With her sense of direction, she'd get lost easily, and there wasn't anything I could do about it. I growled in frustration and doubled back, heading for their house. I avoided the area where Bella would be by now, knowing that if I saw her again, I wouldn't be able to leave.
Once I was done writing the short note, I remembered telling Bella, "It'll be like I never existed." I sighed. That included reminders. I headed up to her room and collected the CD, the tickets, the photos. Reminders. I was just about to leave, out the window, when I stopped short. I had a strange urge to leave something with her. Not exactly a reminder. Just something of me that would always be with her, whether she knew it or not.
I took out the things again and hid them under the floorboards. Then, pulling together all the strength I had again, I took one last glance around the room. Bella's room. I breathed in her scent, feeling the burn for the last time. I couldn't take anymore, my determination was slipping, and I needed to leave, now.
I hurried out of the house, and ran with all my might to rejoin Carlisle and the others. While I ran, I thought of Bella. Her hair, her eyes, her voice, the way she laughed, her fragile figure, her soft, warm skin…
As I left Forks, Washington for the last time, it felt like something inside me just died.
