A/N: Hi hi dears readers. Here's a quick Kuroshitsuji fanfic. I had to write this after I've watched the Kuroshitsuji Red Valentine Seiyuu Event, specifically the part when Sebastian was talking about his loneliness after Ciel was gone. That was sad T_T. Anyways, hope you like it. Sorry for possible many grammar errors, English isn't my first language.
Oh, reviews are like chocolates, I can never get enough of them. In other words, if you like it leave a review. ^^
Just one more thing. Kuroshitsuji isn't mine. If it was it would be yaoi.
This is not good.
This is not how things should have been.
For how many times I've had this same thought in all these years?
Since that one day, when I took what was rightfully mine, thoughts like this have been taking over my mind.
I am a demon, eating souls is just a normal thing to me.
I've never hesitated; I've never had second thoughts about it.
There was no reason for me to do so; humans were only food to me.
Those foolish, egoistical creatures. They were all the same, so boring.
At least that's what I've thought, until he appeared.
Calling me, in pure desperation.
A soul that desired a power stronger than anyone else's.
A small boy that turned his back to light without hesitation.
A rare, delicious soul, which would be mine.
Humans were boring, but this one was completely different.
Being with him was annoying, but at the same time was so pleasant.
Watching his struggles to keep himself alive was so amusing.
Being with him was fun, teasing him was even more.
I've learned to admire that little boy, an admiration I've never had for anyone before.
It would be good if things stopped there, but they didn't.
I could feel a bond between us being formed with each passing day.
A bond that was far beyond the bonds of a servant and master. Demon and human.
Something that I couldn't explain what it was, something I couldn't understand.
Something that could never last.
Once his revenge was completed, everything would be over.
And for me, this would happen in a blink of an eye.
I still remember that day, when the time came for me to take what I've worked so hard for.
And even thought I was hesitating, that's what I did.
I'll never forget the look in his eyes; I'll never forget his final words to me.
Those words only served for me to realize something.
I wasn't ready to do it. I wasn't ready to take his soul.
I wasn't ready to let go of him.
Who would ever think that someday I would admit such a thing?
I've never needed to do so; I've never needed to think twice.
But now, only this time, I've regretted that I didn't.
If I had, I would never have taken his soul.
My hunger was gone, but now…now my life was empty.
There's no one for me to protect.
There's no one left for me to care for.
There's anything in my life anymore.
Sometimes I go back to the place that now was only ruins.
That only place that I ever had pleasure to call home.
I would just stay there, remembering those days.
When I was with him days would pass in a blink of an eye.
But all days felt like an eternity, now that he was gone.
I've lost my will to make contracts, no matter how delicious a soul could be, they would never be like his.
I've lost my interest in evil doings, they could be fun, but nothing could amuse me and please me like being with him did.
I've lost him, the only thing that I've ever cared about.
I've lost everything, even myself.
I kneel down in front of his grave, the one I've made for him.
For so many times I've came here.
Every time I would bring him a couple of the white roses that he liked so much.
I would just sit in front of his grave, and talk with "him" for hours.
I would tell him so many things.
Tell him about my regrets, about my life after he was gone
Tell him about how I've truly felt about him, something that I could never tell him.
At least not until it was too late, when he couldn't hear me anymore.
But I would always tell him, in front of this grave.
Hopping that maybe, somehow, he could hear them.
"Do you still remember what you said to me back then?"
Because I still remembered it like it was yesterday. I'll always remember it.
Sebastian…thanks for everything…
I love you. Farewell…
Those words kept repeating themselves in my mind, ever since that day.
If only he knew I had the same feelings for him…
"I just wanted you to know…that your feelings were never one sided."
Even if it sounded absurd, it was the truth.
I've always thought that it was impossible for a demon like me to have feelings.
It seems that I was wrong.
It's sad that I have realized this when it was too late.
"Forgive me for being too late."
When I say this, I feel a painful sensation on my chest.
And this pain will stay here, for eternity.
I'll have to live on with it, with this feeling of regret inside of me.
I'll have to live on this lonely, purposeless life.
I'll have to live on without him.
But I still had the hope that this wouldn't last forever.
And someday we would be able to see each other again.
"But don't worry, someday we'll meet again."
No matter how much time it would take, I would wait for this day.
I have all the time in the world.
"This I promise you, my lord."
These were my last words to him.
I've turned my back, leaving this place for the last time.
I didn't had intentions of coming here again.
Because next time we meet it wouldn't be like this.
I wouldn't see only his grave. I would see him.
That's the hope I've kept inside of me.
Until then, I'll keep on living.
I'll keep living, only with your memories.
But they're enough for me to go on.
Until we meet again.
