A/N So I was watching HSM the other day and I had a weird moment where I realised that Chad and Ryan were meant to be so I decided to write this fanfic because of all the feels. It will get kind of angsty in a while, but for now it's kind of innocent.

Hope you like it, please leave a review/ comment!

Disclaimer: I do not own HSM. If I did "Chyan" would be together.

Ryan couldn't stop thinking about Chad. Ever since that baseball game, he felt his stomach flutter whenever Chad was around.

That baseball game.

Chad would probably deny it, but there was definitely sexual tension in the air that day. He loved when Chad danced, because Chad was so much better than he believed. And then, Chad suggested that they change clothes as a sign of good sportsmanship (whatever that was). The feeling of Chad's clothes on his skin... It had just made this little "thing" so much worse.

Not that he could tell anyone about it.

Ryan had always known he was gay. When the other boys talked about girls and how 'hot' they were, he just didn't feel anything. He could see they were pretty, sure, but he just didn't want to be with any of them like that. Not the way he wanted to be with Chad.

No one knew he was gay. Well, he hadn't told anyone, but it wasn't exactly hard to guess. Ever since he was little he had wanted to play with dolls and to play dress up with Sharpay. For his 5th birthday he had asked for a pair of dress up high heel and a matching handbag. He wanted to tell people, but he was terrified of how people would react. He wouldn't be able to handle the looks, the whispers, the rumors.

He knew he couldn't hold it in much longer though. Keeping silent was slowly eating Ryan emotionally. Even Sharpay had noticed a change in his mood, and she rarely noticed anything except herself. Ryan knew he had to tell someone, and even though he didn't want to, the only person he could tell was Kelsi, his best friend of 9 years. It wasn't that he thought she'd judge him, or react badly- with Kelsi it was the complete opposite. She would want him to do something about it, like telling Chad, and that definitely wasn't a good idea. Even if Chad felt the chemistry, he wouldn't admit it. None the less, Ryan had to tell someone so Kelsi it was.

Ryan was nervous asking her to meet him in the auditorium, but that was where he felt most comfortable- near a stage and a piano.

"But- Ry, why are you so nervous? And what do you want me in the auditorium for? Did you want to run a number or something?" Kelsi had asked, looking confused.

"Yeah.. umm... something like that. Just meet me there, ok?" Ryan had mumbled before walking away.

All through classes that day Ryan found his mind wandering and he couldn't focus on anything. Even in drama, which was his favorite class, he couldn't stop fidgeting and Mrs. Darbus had to call for his attention 3 times- a record for him, and not in a good way.

The end of the day came much too quickly for Ryan. He felt his stomach flutter and his palms begin to sweat as he walked to the auditorium with his bag slung over his shoulder. He felt slightly relieved when he arrived and he saw that Kelsi was running late, but he knew that it wouldn't be long. He sat down at the piano while he was waiting and he began to randomly press the black and white keys lightly, before forming the notes he was pressing into chords.

When your day is long and the night

The night is yours alone

When you're sure you've had enough of this life, well hang on

Don't let yourself go

Everybody cries and everybody hurts sometimes.

Ryan put everything he had into the words he was singing, and he felt the emotions and the pain pour out of him. Everything he couldn't say, he sung through the words of R.E.M.

He had just reached the second verse of the song when he heard footsteps behind him. Looking around, he saw that Kelsi had arrived, and she motioned to him to keep singing, so he did. 3 verses and choruses later, he played the last chord, and as soon as the sound faded he felt Kelsi hug him from behind.

"That was wonderful, Ry. But... What were you singing about?" Kelsi asked, looking confused again.

"Well... That's actually what I called you here to talk about."

Ryan swallowed nervously. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. But- no- he really did need someone to talk to.

"I'm gay," he blurted out.

"That was what you wanted to talk about? No offense, Ry, but I've known that since we were 7 playing dress up and dolls together. It isn't exactly a big shock."

"Y-you knew?" Ryan gasped. He felt both relief and terror at the same time- what if other people had guessed?

"Yeah, I did, but I didn't know if you were ready to talk about it. Have you told Sh...anyone else yet?" asked Kelsi, raising her eyebrows.

"You mean Sharpay? No, I haven't told her yet. Ugh, why did this happen to me? Why did I have to be different?" Ryan said, running his hands through his hair.

"Ry... would you seriously want to be normal? You're so much better as you are. I probably wouldn't be here listening to you if you were 'normal'," Kelsi replied.

"You DON'T UNDERSTAND. People will look at me weirdly, they'll whisper about me, call me names. I won't be able to take it." Ryan could feel himself getting more and more worked up.

"Ry- Ry- stop. You need to stop doing this to yourself. Being honest, I think most people have guessed by now, and those who haven't don't care. And- if they do act weirdly- just ignore them. Because you're so much better than them," said Kelsi, hugging him again.

"That's not all though, Kels. I like someone. Someone who will probably never like me back. I can't tell him, I couldn't face getting rejected. I don't know what to do, it's eating me inside."

"Ry... who is it? You can trust me, I promise," said Kelsi.

"It's... it's Chad."