Zoë

"Cap'n? Can I have a word?" Zoë asked simply. The captain had his head so far down in the engine that you couldn't see him from the shoulders up. Kaylee was somewhere in there as well, nothing but her feet sticking out the bottom; they were having a heated discussion on the state of the compression coil. "Sir?"

"Mite busy at the moment Zoë." Mal said without taking his head from inside the engine's carapace. "As you can see Serenity ain't feelin' too good and needs attention."

"And I told you what her problem is Cap'n!" Kaylee said, her voice muffled by the bulk of the engine. "She needs more than spit and tape now. That coil could go at any second. We need a new one!"

"Well we ain't got no new one." Mal said, finally pulling his head away from the hodgepodge of wires and metal. "Fix her up as best you can. When we make port you might be able to get a new one." At Kaylee's gleeful squeal he held up his hands even though she couldn't see them, "I said: Might!"

"Sir?"

"What do ya need Zoë?" He asked as he faced her, dusting off his hands as he did so. He took in the look on her face and froze for a second. Since The signals release Zoë had been more distant, but the look on her face was something akin to the grief she had kept hidden, as if something had caused the hard shell of hers to crack. He wondered if someone had said something about Wash. "Come on up to the bridge with me. I gotta check and see if Badger's contacted yet."

She followed him in the silence of the trained soldier he knew her to be, but there was something off about it, an uncharacteristic shift about her gait. When they stepped on the bridge, River stood and, smiling broadly at Zoë, departed on dancers feet. Mal plopped down and swiveled the pilot's chair so that it was facing his First Mate.

"So what'd ya need to talk bout?"

She stood there rooted to the spot before sighing heavily and walking over to the copilot's chair. She sat down heavily and stared off into the black. They sat there for about five minutes before she found her voice again.

"You asked me once why I married Wash." She began, and Mal started to tell her she didn't have to talk bout it when she cut him off. "No, I have to get this out. I never gave you an answer. At that time I don't think I knew my own self." She paused again, still staring out into the black. Then she swiveled to face him and he saw the raw emotions play across her face; Grief, hate, anger, regret. They were all there, but so was love and a kindling of hope. "It took me loosing him to finally figure it out.

"I married him because he made me feel alive again. He brought laughter back into my life. Made me love again" A tear slowly slid down her face and Mal started. Never in all their years of friendship had he seen her shed a single tear; it scared him more than the whole hoard of reavers did. "Now that he's gone, I can't feel any of those things anymore. He took all those things with him. Some days I can't help but hate him for leaving me."

"You know he ain't left ya yet Zoë." Mal said leaning against the console, not knowing a way to comfort his friend.

"No, I know. What did River say the other day? A spark?" Zoë said, smiling now, beaming in a way Mal had never seen her do. He began to realize where this was going and sat back, no longer worried his First Mate was gonna off herself. "'A spark in the black.' That's what she said."

"So when does the newest Washburne get here?" Mal asked, a grin on his face.

Zoë laid her hands over her still flat stomach and knew that if her Mister was here, he'd be grinning from ear to ear, trying to pick out Dino names for the baby that wasn't even there yet. "Seven months."

Just then River skipped in holding a piece a paper gingerly in her hands. She quickly handed it to Zoë and skipped back out, not giving either of them a chance to say anything. Zoë flipped the paper over and saw herself and Wash sitting at the table, the others, including the Shepherd, standing behind them. Between the couple was a small bundle with wispy red hair and caramel colored skin dotted with freckles. She clutched the paper to her chest and wept, letting go of everything that she had held in for the last month.

The Captain felt now would be a good time to escape so he ducked outta the bridge, feeling that finally things were beginning to get back to normal... And then Jayne's voice floated in from somewhere down below, followed by the eery giggle of River's.

"Gorramit crazy girl! I done told you I ain't a ruttin' girl now back off it before I have ta show ya!"

Yep. Mal thought, opening the hatch to his bunk. Everything's back to normal.