Title: I only want to go home

Author: S3ab3ar

Genre: Short story, slight angst.

Rating: PG

Summary: InuYasha is left to pick up the pieces of his life.

Author's notes: Written for one of the theme sets of the 30 kisses LJ community. Theme #23: I only want to go home.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters, etc of InuYasha and nor do I get any compensation for this work of fiction.

Part I:

There were times Kagome tested his patience.

And there were times he felt bad for losing his patience with her.

InuYasha understood what it will be like once Kagome decided to live in the feudal era with him permanently. He knew what he was getting himself into and he was just fine with that. Yet…

InuYasha sometimes forgot Kagome wasn't like the girls here. She never lived a rural life before. She lived in a time where everything was accessible due to the advancements of technology and running a household was not equivalent to running a household in the feudal era. Kagome was learning how to farm, cook and bake from scratch, hunt, gather and fish for food, perform chores that required skills she did not have as well as survive the elements. He knew he needed to be understanding of her lack of knowledge in these sorts of things.

And, he was, despite the small frustrations here and there. ("Start a fire from scratch. Here, use these stones. No, don't use that lighter-thing. Do it like this."

"But why, this lighter still has a lot of fluid left."

"Because you won't always have this thing around, got it? Stop being hardheaded and do it this way, already."

"Alright, alright! Sheesh.")

Although, InuYasha never treated her the way most youkai and human men treated women of this time period; he was fair and respected her as a person. He did not demand Kagome to be his little housewife, but he expected her to eventually learn how to wash laundry the way they do here, prepare meals from the vegetation she gathered and animals hunted to make their lives easier. InuYasha, unlike many others, assisted her with these tasks.

Luckily, Kagome was a fast learner as well as eager. Kagome learned the basics of farming, but she never really bothered to plant a little garden considering her lifestyle was pretty nomadic. They moved around a lot and depended on bartering to acquire greens, flour, eggs and milk to cook. After, Kagome became pregnant they settled in a quaint village. InuYasha tended to the three cows, two goats and a small coup of chickens while she focused on taking care of the baby most of the time.

That was basically what their life turned into.

And, sometimes, when she was alone, Kagome wandered off to sit by the river. She stared aimlessly at the water for hours. The visits to the river became more frequent after their first child was born. InuYasha often snuck out behind her to see what she was up to and he couldn't really figure out what was going on with her.

One day, InuYasha went to see Sango. He left Kagome to rest in their hut. She wasn't feeling too well to go out and decided to sleep in. InuYasha left with the baby in a makeshift sling. Whenever InuYasha carried the baby in the sling he would stop crying; which he did not mind carrying him around.

"I think there's something wrong with Kagome."

"Why do you think that?" she asked, taking the baby from the sling and changing the baby's diaper. "Has Kagome said anything?"

"That's the thing, she hasn't said much of anything. All she does is stay quiet and sit by the river near our hut and stare. I don't know if she's depressed."

"She is probably having a hard time adjusting to this new life as a mother. A lot of women become emotional when they have a baby. I witnessed a lot of women in the village go through that right after they have a child."

"I hope she gets better soon. Sometimes she barely pays attention to our son," he said, feeling a bit glum about it. He was at a loss and had no idea how to make it better for Kagome.

"Give her some time and a little space. She will bounce back. This is Kagome we are talking about," Sango said, optimistically. "She always comes back."

InuYasha tried to take her word for it.

He had a bad feeling about all this and the powerlessness of not being able to help Kagome and improve the situation at hand really gutted him.

This continued on for a few more weeks.

InuYasha was starting to lose faith in what Sango had told him. He was slowly beginning to feel worn down as well, but he maintained a headstrong outlook for his son, otherwise no one be up to par to take care of him.

And, just when he thought things could not get any worse, Kagome disappeared.

Out of thin air.

InuYasha searched from the ground up and as far as he searched on, he was limited to look any further with a small baby in tow. She left them without a trace. No indication, no note, no warning, nothing.

What hurt more from all this was Kagome's abandonment of their baby.

InuYasha was forced to look for a wet nurse to breastfeed the baby. It was a bit difficult taking into consideration not many human women were willing to do such a task for a half demon child. Luckily, Kaede assisted in locating a young woman with enough heart to help out the poor infant in the meantime, until Kagome decided to return.

InuYasha felt angry and hurt by Kagome's actions. He expressed no remarks on the matter at hand to anyone. He just hoped this whole mess will sort itself out soon.

Several days go by and no sign of Kagome returning back in sight. InuYasha's hope slowly was starting to dwindle away.