He is The Doctor. He is a little crazy (a lot if you ask Clara), he barely has control over his limbs, and his favorite meal is fish sticks and custard. He has been accused of being oblivious, and yes, he is. But he is also extremely observant (when it suits him).
He remembers every conversation he's ever had with Clara Oswald, all three versions of her that he's met. And it's odd, because he'll notice things. Like the way she chews her lip when she's not paying attention and she's lost in her thoughts. Or how her lips quirk up into a smile when he's giving a timey-wimey explanation.
And when he notices these things, it scares him and not in the way River scares him, where it feels like he doesn't know a damn thing about his own life. No, Clara Oswald scares him in a new way, a not entirely unwelcome way for that matter.
So naturally he pays close attention to the Impossible Girl, trying to figure out why she's so impossible. And when he observes her, he notices troubling things. He notices the way she smiles at him when she thinks he doesn't see and then he notices the way it falters and the brightness in her eyes dims as she looks at him. He frowns when it happens, but says nothing.
He notices the way she gets overenthusiastic at times, like she's hiding other, darker feelings. And he wants to say something, he desperately does, but it feels as if he's prying. She's only been his companion a few months, maybe she isn't quite comfortable with him yet, he tries to justify why they don't really talk about things that matter.
But he's desperate.
He's desperate to know why her eyes dim and why her smile disappears.
He's desperate to know every detail about her life. He needs to know.
But she is guarded and he is guarded and they are a perfect match. But maybe too perfect since neither one will pry, neither one wanting to give up their secrets.
So they keep travelling and he keeps noticing. Her eyes keep losing that sparkle when he's around, and he does everything in his power to see her smile, to see her dimples, to hear her laugh. And as he does this, he finds himself smiling more genuinely, laughing more, and living more.
At times he thinks that he doesn't need to know the secret to his greatest mystery, he's content with the way things are. But the one mystery that never leaves his mind is he faltering smile.
He asks her if she's happy and her answer is always, 'Oh yes! Very!' so he leaves it.
One day, he decides, one day he will ask her about her fading smile and dimming eyes.
But today, as Clara slips her tiny hand into his and intertwines their fingers before saying 'Geronimo' with a quirked eyebrow and jumping out of the TARDIS, today he will enjoy he company and remind himself to not fall in love with his Impossible Girl, his Clara.
A/N: Erm, so this is my first go at writing The Doctor, so any and all feedback is quite appreciated. It's sort of based on 'He Said, She Said' when Clara mentions having to trick herself into not falling in love with The Doctor, but it's more his side of things. Happy reading! :)