Author Commentary: All righty, my pretties, I don't know much about Dragon Ball Z other than the fact that my two ten year old brothers and one eight year old brother watch it and that this god of a television program takes up space on the DVR that can be used to record Dr. Phil (yes, I thoroughly enjoy Phillip McGraw and his "sermons" on important topics that affect America and the rest of the this big, beautiful world.) Also: pretend that all the countries are locked in a room the size of a small camper. Another note: all the countries are guys. Even if they aren't guys in the anime, they are in this fan-fiction, bitches.
Rating: M. Why? For language; rape; weird shit; and cannibalism. The "language" is censored in dialogue because I felt like it. And I had to use OpenOffice's spell-check to find out how to spell "dialogue" (I spelled it diloge).
Warnings: Strangeness;OOCness; Rape (?); Cannibalism; and Weird Shit
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
America looked over at this younger brother. "Hey, Canadia dood, could u take off ur pants &..."
Canada turned around and looked at America with crazy red eyes. "F*** NO! U MOTHERF***ING A**HOLE! I WILL NOT TAKE OFF MY PANTS AND ALLOW YOU TO RAPE MY A**HOLE FOR MONEY!"
"It... wasn't... even... for... money..." America grinned.
At that moment, shit went down. Canada yelled something that was really fucking strange and then became... A MOTHERFUCKING SUPER SAIYAN (fourth wall: I PROBABLY FUCKING MISSPELLED SAIYAN!)
America gasped and stepped back. "HOLY S***! OH JESUS! OH JESUS CHRIST! OH JESUS FRUITCAKE CHRIST! OH—"
"SHUT THE F*** UP!" Super Saiyan Canada demanded. "WHY THE F*** WERE U ACTING THAT LIKE THAT?"
America pointed behind Canada. "THERES F***ING BBQ CHICKEN!" America ran over to eat the "fried chicken."
Russia—who wheeled the BBQ chicken into the room—waited until America had devoured a good portion of the "chicken" before telling America what is was. "America, can I tell you what it is?"
America—with a mouthful of "chicken"—nodded his head.
"It's BBQ Mongolia."
America's eyes widened. He then spit the Mongolian BBQ from his mouth at the speed of fucking lightening—no joke. "IMMA F***ING CANNIBAL!"
China came out of nowhere. He looked at America and said, "B****, u must die!" China then beat America to death with his dick. Five seconds after the beating, China died from exhaustion.
Germany—being the Nazi-pervert that he is—fucked China's dead body. Russia freaked out and raped Germany's mouth.
"Yay!" Latvia cried, looking at Estonia and Lithuania happily. "Russia didn't do anything 'bad' to me!"
"LATVIAAAAA!" Estonia cried as Russia raped Latvia.
Lithuania—out of shear horror—fainted. Latvia began screaming for Russia to stop "tearing up his asshole."
Canada began to laugh at Latvia. Then, Germany decided to fuck Holland, against Holland's will (rape). Canada—who harbored a deep, secretive love for Holland—went all Kamehameha on Germany's ass. Germany was (literally!) blown away. Blown away into a wall. A brick wall. With spikes sticking out of it.
Russia offered a red, chunky drink to a shaken, probably knocked-up Holland. Holland gladly took at drink.
"Do you know what the drink is?" Russia asked.
Holland shook his head. "Nope, but is does taste nice."
Russia grinned evilly. "It's blended Goku brains."
Holland vomited on the spot. Canada went kaioken on Russia's ass. Russia is still alive though... but just barely.
Pakistan began shooting everyone. Or... trying to shoot everyone. He was a terrible shot.
"THE DIRKA CANT SHOOT!" America teased. America was then shot in the arm by Pakistan. America then hit the ground.
Pakistan pointed his gun up at the ceiling. "This is the best day since 9/11!"
"Pakistan!" All the "stan" countries and Northern Africa and some of the Yugoslav countries and Albania moaned.
"JIHAD!" Pakistan yelled as he ran away. He then ran into a spike on the brick wall. But he did not die. He just bled. A lot. And screamed. Screamed like a girl.
Serbia began raping Bosnia. Herzegovina flipped out and tried to save Bosnia from the butt-fucking of a lifetime, but failed and was raped by Montenegro.
Canada screamed something really fucking loud and really fucking stupid and splattered Serbia and Montenegro's guts all over the wall.
Japan—who just noticed Canada—started to fangasm. "Oh my God! I didn't know that you were a Super Saiyan! I rove you!" Japan threw his arms around Canada. And Canada approved.
"Russia!" Lithuania screamed, after waking up. "Why is there this dead guy on the floor?"
Russia pointed at Vegeta. "That dead guy?"
Lithuania began to flail his arms. "Yes! That dead guy!"
"I stabbed his eighty-seven times in the chest." Russia smiled. "That is why he is dead."
"Why did you do it?" Lithuania demanded.
"Because I am Russia," Russia began. "And Russia does as he wishes."
Denmark; Finland; Greenland; Iceland; Norway; Sweden; and Switzerland discussed having an orgy but decided not to after they found out the Norway had gotten AIDS from Iceland and that Switzerland was a dirty slut who had gotten AIDS; gonorrhea; and syphilis from Austria, Germany, and Bavaria and had given them to Iceland when Iceland was raped by Switzerland.
Canada's Super Saiyan powers wore out and he died. That's what everyone thought. So, Russia decided to grind Canada up into hamburger meat. Come to find out: Canada was still alive! By the time that Russia had found out that minor detail, there wasn't much of Canada left. So, Russia "finished the job."
Russia then made Canada Burgers and forcibly feed them to: Georgia (the country, not the state); Ukraine; Moldova; Belarus; Armenia; Azerbaijan; Kazakhstan; Uzbekistan; Turkmenistan; Kyrgyzstan; Tajikistan; Estonia; Latvia; Lithuania; Poland; Hungary; Albania; Bosnia; Herzegovina; Serbia; Montenegro; Macedonia; Romania; Slovakia; Czech Republic; and North Korea.
North Korea nuked Russia's ass and everyone lived happily ever after.
THE END
