Ok so a few days ago I saw some prompt on tumblr about Prompto and Noctis sexting in the car while trying to keep a straight face, and somehow the idea stuck with me so I eventually had to do something about it because this is exactly the kind of ridiculous shit I live for.

But then again I had no idea what I was doing because while I'm perfectly able to read/write smut with a straight face in a room full of people, actual sexting would probably make me explode with embarrassment (much like Noctis here). Also I'm the kind of person who writes entire words when texting, so, yeah, that's how I wrote this as well.

So, uh, yeah… this is probably a bit weird, and I hate my writing, but it needed to come out and it distracted me from all the feels I have and the other story my brain is trying to make me write while making me super sad about this game all over again.

Sorry for rambling this much... hope you'll enjoy this story anyway. Please bear with me, English is not my first language, but I'll be happy to correct any mistakes.

The afternoon was coming to an end but Ignis had assured them they would be able to reach the outpost before sunset. They had just spent way too many days in the wilderness, always camping and fighting monsters, now even Gladio was happy about finally spending the night at a motel.

The drive had been going on for a while though, and the cheerful chatter from the beginning had been replaced by a comfortable silence. Ignis was focused on the road, occasionally taking a sip of coffee. Gladio was reading, and Noctis was leaning against the door, dozing a little while looking at the landscape through barely opened eyes. Looking back at his friend, Prompto sighed and put his camera back in its case, before taking his phone out.

[Prompto] I'm bored.

[Noctis] Shocker.

[Prompto] You sleeping?

[Noctis] Yep.

[Prompto] Should have sat in the back. Could have been your pillow ;)

[Noctis] Sure. Very low-key.

[Prompto] Still more discreet than the way you chose to wake me up that last time^^

[Noctis] Well, did they wake up?

[Prompto] Bless Gladio's snoring, I guess.

[Noctis] Especially when someone shrieks like a girl.

[Prompto] I did NOT shriek. It was a very manly gasp caused by a very sudden awakening.

[Noctis] Complaining?

[Prompto] Oh no, I wouldn't dare criticize His Highness' surprises.

[Noctis] Good. Maybe I'll do it again then.

[Prompto] I'm interested.

[Noctis] Or maybe you could surprise me.

[Prompto] Now I wish you were asleep on me ;)

[Noctis] With Specs and Gladio in front. So romantic.

[Prompto] Maybe they'd have stopped to gather ingredients. No use waking you. So, obviously, I had to stay.

[Noctis] Obviously.

[Prompto] You know how Ignis gets with his cooking, they could be gone a loooong time.

[Noctis] No.

[Prompto] What?

[Noctis] No. We're not doing that.

[Prompto] What, Gladio isn't reading your messages, is he?

[Noctis] Still. He's awake. And so is Specs.

[Prompto] They'll never know if you can keep a straight face… ;) ;)

[Noctis] Prom, I'm the King of straight faces. You, on the other hand, are not.

[Prompto] Maybe, but Gladio can't see me and Ignis doesn't really pay attention to me.

[Prompto] Also, you teased me first.

[Noctis] Teasing is one thing. What you're suggesting is… weird.

[Prompto] Embarrassed to write down all the lewd things you want to do to me?

[Noctis] … Shut up.

[Prompto] Tell you what^^

[Noctis] No.

[Prompto] I'll do the writing. You work on your straight face.

[Noctis] No.

[Prompto] If we get to the outpost without them noticing, I'll do anything you want...

[Noctis] …

[Prompto] Anything.

[Noctis] ...

[Prompto] Nooooooct :'(

[Noctis] I'm considering it.

[Prompto] :)

[Noctis] I hate you.

[Prompto] I'll take that as a yes :)

Noctis sunk a bit in his seat and closed his eyes for a second, sighing softly. This was an utterly stupid idea, but - damn it - that last time Prompto had mentioned earlier had been like ten days ago already. They hadn't slept at a motel since, and never dared do much in the tent with the others literally inches away, so they always ended up more frustrated than anything. At least, when they slept at motels, Ignis and Gladio were in a different bed, but even then they had to keep it quiet. While the secrecy could be exhilarating - and was often a game between them - sometimes being so close to each other day and night without being able to really do anything could be most infuriating.

So yes. Of course his curiosity was piqued. Of course some part of him wanted to see how far this could go before one of them made a ridiculous face or sound and blew their "just best friends" cover.

Or, you know, before they just had enough of it all and start making out in the car.

Realizing his phone had been vibrating a few times in his hand, he glanced down at the screen where several messages from Prompto were waiting and had to swallow hard.

Ok, those were unusually detailed messages.

Was he trying to write a fucking erotic novel or what?

Shifting in his seat, he tried very hard to focus on the moving landscape instead of the mental images Prompto's messages had triggered in his brain.

Of course, that bastard knew of his most sensitive spots. He loved to drive Noctis crazy by ghosting his fingers over his sides for excruciatingly long minutes because he knew that it would light his skin on fire (which he often did when they were camping and Noctis couldn't get a satisfying revenge - or a satisfying anything, for that matter). He loved to hear Noctis swallow back groans whenever his mouth would linger on that particular spot just above his collarbone, licking and sucking at the flesh as much as he could without leaving a mark.

And that was still way before they got to the good part.

Great. Apparently his brain refused to cooperate and kept replacing the scenery with graphic images. He glanced at his vibrating phone again, swallowing once more before biting the inside of his cheek.

[Prompto] Noct?

[Prompto] Are you at least reading?

[Noctis] Very eloquent.

[Prompto] ;)

[Prompto] How's that straight face of yours?

[Noctis] …

[Noctis] Fine.

[Prompto] I'll have to do better then ;)

Noctis lifted his eyes to look briefly at Prompto. His friend's face was turned away from him, but he could definitely see that his neck was a few shades redder than usual.

And no, he was absolutely not thinking about running his tongue along the exposed skin and making Prompto moan like that as he moves to suck on his earlobe.

Nope. Not thinking about that at all.

[Noctis] You seem a bit flushed. Sunburn?

[Prompto] …

[Prompto] Smartass.

[Prompto] I'm not done with you yet.

And Prompto launched himself into a very detailed description of how he'd like to undress Noctis and explore every inch of his skin slowly, very slowly, only leaving out the area that his friend would most like him to touch until it drove him mad with need.

And then more on how exactly he'd take care of that need.

At which point Noctis didn't know whether he was about to combust with embarrassment - seriously, how could Prompto write all that without dying - or if was actually going to end up grabbing him to make out in the car, all caution be damned, because honestly, having his mouth on Prompto's and pressing their bodies together would feel so fucking good right about now.

Then again, seeing as most of his blood had apparently deserted his brain, maybe he shouldn't trust this kind of instinct and try to calm down instead. Maybe.

He knew Prompto was certainly grinning like an idiot, and he hated that it was actually ok for his friend to react just a little at what was going on - because, like he said, the others weren't really looking at him. Noctis, however, couldn't possibly ignore the fact that Ignis would occasionally throw glances at him through the rearview mirror, nor the fact that Gladio was sitting right next to him.

He suddenly wished he could turn all the heat coursing through his body into an elemental grenade so that he could get rid of it easily.

Or, you know, just throw one at himself so that he wouldn't have to deal with this situation.

[Noctis] Alright just stop.

[Noctis] You made your point.

[Prompto] What point?

[Noctis] I don't know.

[Prompto] You ok back there buddy? ^^

[Noctis] Shut up.

[Prompto] They haven't said anything yet. I could go on.

[Noctis] No.

[Prompto] You know… you're not the only one having a hard time here.

[Noctis] That… was terrible.

[Prompto] It was awesome.

[Prompto] Also it's true.

[Prompto] Man… I hope we get to the motel soon.

[Prompto] Those guys are bound to go somewhere right?

[Prompto] Leave us alone.

[Noctis] Not helping.

[Prompto] You could just pin me against the door.

[Prompto] I'd be at your mercy.

[Prompto] Utterly helpless in front of you.

Noctis stopped looking at his phone because he really didn't need Prompto's words to help his mind conjure up many mental images of what exactly he could be doing to his friend in that situation, and how Prompto's face would look like, how his skin would taste like, how- Stop.

Noctis closed his eyes hard and pinched the bridge of his nose but couldn't stop himself from taking a shuddering breath.

Which, of course, was enough for Gladio to react.

"Are you ok there Noct?"

"Fine. Tired. Headache."

"Again?" asked Ignis, glancing at Noctis in the rearview mirror.

Noctis took a deep breath, hoping his voice would be steady enough to speak in actual sentences.

"Not like with Titan. Just need an actual bed for once."

"We'll be at the outpost in a minute, want me to get you some medicine?" Ignis enquired again.

"I'm fine."

"Alright then. I'll get you something healthy for dinner later."

"Sure," Noctis replied briefly, closing his eyes again in hope that they'd leave him alone.

Of course, it was less than thirty seconds before he felt his phone vibrate again.

[Prompto] I won ;) ;) \o/

[Prompto] I'll be waiting for my reward^^

[Noctis] We only established what you would do if I won.

[Prompto] But you didn't win. So now you have to do anything I want.

[Noctis] I never agreed to that.

[Prompto] Nooooct :(

[Prompto] You're no fun :(

Noctis was about to write back when Ignis pulled over and said something about securing accommodations. Gladio stretched his arms next to him, and Noctis quickly put his phone down and went back to pretending to sleep.

"So, Gladio, any plans for tonight?" Noctis heard Prompto ask.

He wondered how the hell his friend managed to sound so normal while all he could think about was having his way with him right now on the hood of the Regalia.

Maybe he wasn't the King of straight faces after all.

Or maybe it's just that Prompto usually talks and fidgets a lot, so any kind of special ...excitement could probably pass off as relatively normal behaviour.

"Probably hanging out at the diner, gathering some intel about the local hunts. And preventing Ignis from explaining to the chef how to make his menu healthier."

Prompto laughed cheerfully at that.

"What about you?" Gladio asked then.

"Oh… I don't know. Guess I'll take some pictures around here. Also someone needs to look after His Sleepiness over here."

The next thing Noctis felt was Gladio elbowing him.

"Hey!"

"Don't fall asleep yet, Highness, I'm not carrying your royal ass to bed and I don't see Blondie here managing that."

"Hey!" It was Prompto's turn to protest.

Noctis shifted in his seat, grumbling. Fortunately, he didn't need to answer as Ignis was returning with keys in his hand.

"I'm afraid there weren't any room available for the four of us, so we will have to split."

Seriously. Noctis clenched his jaw at that, but managed to remain still, eyes closed, his breathing regular in spite of his racing thoughts.

"Well I'm not sharing with any of the kids. Between the one who kicks and the one who snuggles into anything warm, I'd never get any sleep," Noctis heard Gladio complain next to him.

"Hey, that was only one time!" Prompto retorted.

"Yes, because I never let you sleep next to me after that."

"Nevermind," Ignis sighed. "Prompto, please make sure Noctis actually gets to the room and doesn't spend the night in the car. I'm going to get us some supplies."

"Right behind you," Gladio added before stepping out.

Everything went silent for about a minute, after which Noctis tentatively opened his eyes and saw Prompto smiling at him with a playful glint in his eyes.

"Share a room with me?" Prompto said, winking at Noctis who merely groaned in response before grabbing the key from his friend's hand and storming out of the car.

Prompto followed him, laughing.

"So, separate rooms, uh?"

Ignis sighed deeply before taking another sip of his drink.

"I simply cannot deal with horny teenagers tonight."

"You know they're not teenagers, right?"

"They may as well be."

"Do they really think we're that stupid though?"

"I believe they think they're that smart."

"So, how long do we keep pretending not to know? There's only so much fake snoring I can do."

"Just long enough for us to figure out how to get the most fun out of it."

Gladio snorted, and clinked his glass against Ignis'.

"You know, Iggy, you're sneakier than you look. I like that."

They had barely stepped inside the room that Noctis had turned around and pushed Prompto up against the door, effectively closing it. Their bodies crashed into each other, lips colliding with force and hands urgently fumbling with clothes.

Prompto moaned into Noctis' mouth as he deepened the kiss and snaked his hands underneath his friend's shirt, doing that thing with his fingers ghosting over Noctis' skin, and Noctis hissed, breaking the kiss to bury his face in the crook of Prompto's neck.

"Fucking touch me already," he groaned, fingers digging into his friend's back.

"You didn't win the game," Prompto answered teasingly.

Noctis answered by grinding their hips together and briefly nibbling Prompto's earlobe before breathing hard into his friend's ear.

"Tell me you don't want this, I dare you."

Ok, so… I hope you enjoyed it and that it wasn't too weird! I had a lot of fun writing this, so I guess at least there's that.

That little bit between Gladio and Ignis isn't technically supposed to be read as Gladnis, but I guess you can if you want. I mainly imagine them being very much done with Prompto's and Noctis' dorkiness and wanting to have some fun at their expense.

I love these guys so much though, this isn't even funny.

Please come talk to me about FFXV, my tumblr is also Yuneyn and I need people to scream about this game with.