A/N: I'm in season six of Buffy and couldn't help writing this. Please don't put spoilers in the reviews! This takes place right after S6 E6, but before S6 E7. Thanks, and please review!
Buffy, Dawn, Willow, Tara, Xander, Anya, Spike, and Giles were teleported into seats in a small theatre room. Spike and Buffy immediately stood up, ready to face the danger in the room.
"Buffy, what's going on?" Dawn's voice waivered.
"I'm not sure, Dawnie," Buffy responded.
"Relax, I'm not going to hurt you," a feminine voice said, the voice seemed to be coming from speakers at the front of the theatre. "I just want you guys to react to something, let's say the next episode of your life. Just sit down, and after forty five minutes, more depending on how much you talk, you'll be back in your life. Okay?"
Spike sat down, and Buffy glared at him. "What? It's not like we can bloody do anything, we don't know where she is!" She sighed and sat down, huffing slightly.
"Oh, and every time one of you talks, the show will stop."
Act I
Open in Buffy's bedroom, morning. The words "Once More, With Feeling" splash across the screen in the style of an old movie musical.
"Okay, what's going on?" Xander asked in a rhetorical manner.
Cut to the graveyard, night. Buffy walks along, looking around. Suddenly she begins to sing!
BUFFY: (verse one)
Every single night, the same arrangement
I go out and fight the fight.
"Well, yes, that's your job," Anya smiled.
"Anyone else wondering why Buffy is singing?" Xander asked. "Is it a regular thing, Buff?"
"No," she huffed, "I have no idea what's going on."
Still I always feel this strange estrangement
Nothing here is real, nothing here is right.
"Buffy-" Giles started.
Buffy shushed him.
A vampire appears from behind a gravestone, rushes at Buffy. She spins him around, continues singing.
BUFFY:
I've been making shows of [punch] trading blows
Just hoping no one knows [kick, grabs vampire and throws him behind her]
That I've been going through the motions
"What's up, Buffy? You know you don't have to hide anything from us," Willow said.
Walking through the part.
Buffy pulls a stake from her jacket pocket. The vamp attacks her from behind and she stakes him without looking back.
BUFFY: Nothing seems to penetrate my heart.
Xander tried to hold back a laugh, but Giles and Willow had concerned looks on their faces. Tara put her hand on Willow's.
She resumes walking and singing.
BUFFY: (verse two)
I was always brave, and kind of righteous.
Now I find I'm wavering.
We see two vampires and a demon gathered near a tree. There's a person tied to the tree. The vampires see Buffy and attack.
"That's a lot of demons for one patrol," Giles noticed.
BUFFY:
Crawl out of your grave, you'll find this fight just [punches a vampire]
Doesn't mean a thing. [punches second vamp]
VAMP 1:
She ain't got that swing.
The vamp punches Buffy and she goes down. A sword is stuck in the ground beside her. She lies there on her back. Sound of crickets chirping.
BUFFY: Thanks for noticing.
"Buffy?" Dawn, who was sitting next to Buffy, Buffy shook her head.
She continues lying there as the two vamps and the demon begin to do a dance.
VAMPS AND DEMON:
She does pretty well with fiends from hell
But lately we can tell [Buffy gets up and grabs the sword]
That she's just going through the motions
DEMON:
Going through the motions.
Buffy pulls Vamp 1 away, cuts off his head with the sword.
VAMP 2: Faking it somehow. [Buffy pushes him aside, stabs the demon]
"Maybe we should talk about this," Giles suggested.
"No, guys! I'm not okay with this, everyone watching my life, we don't need to talk about anything!"
Spike just glanced down. Would he be singing too?
DEMON: She's not even half the girl she- [looks down at his wound] ow.
Xander snorted.
The demon falls over. Buffy continues walking, holding the sword.
BUFFY:
Will I stay this way forever?
Sleepwalk through my life's endeavor?
She uses the sword to cut the ropes that are tying the person to a tree. The person comes around the tree trunk and we see it's a very good-looking man.
HANDSOME GUY:
How can I repay-
BUFFY:
Whatever.
She turns away, tosses the sword aside and continues walking.
Spike tried to hide his grin. It wasn't just him Buffy was rejecting.
BUFFY:
I don't want to beeeeee...
[walks up onto a raised platform ringed by statues, stops]
Going through the motions
Losing all my drive.
I can't even see
If this is really me
And I just want to be-
Vamp 2 attacks her and she stakes him. He explodes into dust which forms an artful cloud, obscuring Buffy from view, then clears as she sings the final word.
BUFFY: Aliiiiiive.
"Oh, Buffy, you are alive!" Willow said.
"I know, Will," Buffy smiled softly at her.
End of song "Alive." Wide aerial shot of Buffy standing amidst the gravestones.
Cut to magic shop, day. The bell jingles. Buffy enters.
GILES: (O.S.) Good morning, Buffy!
"Thank heavens I'm not singing," Giles breathed a sigh of relief.
We see Willow and Tara standing by the counter. Giles in background.
WILLOW: Oh, hey, did Dawn get off to school all right?
BUFFY: (distracted) What? Oh, uh, yeah. I think so.
Buffy walks farther into the store. We see Xander sitting at the round table holding a donut in each hand.
XANDER: Respect the cruller. And tame the donut!
Anya passes by en route to the counter.
ANYA: That's still funny, sweetie.
"It's meee!" Anya squealed.
Anya goes behind the counter. Giles looks in the box of donuts, takes one out, takes a bite.
BUFFY: So, uh, no research? Nothing going on? Monsters or whatnot?
Giles and Xander shake their heads "no," continue eating donuts.
BUFFY: Good! Good. (awkwardly) Uh, so, did anybody ... uh ... last night, you know, did anybody, um ... burst into song?
"Straight to the point," Tara said, squeezing Willow's hand.
Giles stops chewing. Everyone stares at Buffy for a moment.
XANDER: Merciful Zeus!
Willow, Tara, and Anya rush over. Everyone talks at once.
WILLOW: We thought it was just us!
GILES: Well, I sang but I had my guitar at the hotel…
Spike laughed into his hand at Giles.
TARA: It was bizarre. We were talking and then it was like-
BUFFY: Like you were in a musical!
TARA: Yeah!
GILES: That would explain the huge backing orchestra I couldn't see and the synchronized dancing from the room service chaps.
WILLOW: We did a whole duet about dish washing.
ANYA: And we were arguing and, and then everything rhymed and there were harmonies and the dance with coconuts.
WILLOW: There was an entire verse about the cous-cous.
XANDER: It was very disturbing.
[The above is everyone talking at once.]
GILES: (to Buffy) What did you sing about?
BUFFY: (pauses) I don't remember. But i-it seemed perfectly normal.
XANDER: But disturbing. And not the natural order of things, and do you think it'll happen again?
"I bet ten Giles is going to 'look into it,'" Xander said.
"I'm not giving away any money, of course Giles is going to research something!" Anya said.
GILES: I don't know. I should look into it.
Xander smirked.
WILLOW: With the books.
TARA: Do we have any books on this?
"I can't believe I'm missing this, is Spike going to sing?" Dawn asked, excited.
Everyone looked at Spike. "Bloody hell, I'm not going to sing!" Spike shouted.
"If you say so…" Dawn grinned.
XANDER: Well, we just gotta break it down. Look at the factors before it happens again. Because I for one-
[Giles begins to sing, interrupting Xander.]
GILES:
I've got a theory
That it's a demon
A dancing demon!
No, something isn't right there.
"This is so weird," Xander facepalmed.
WILLOW:
I've got a theory
Some kid is dreamin'
And we're all stuck inside his wacky Broadway nightmare. [Tara doing "jazz hands"]
Willow squeezed Tara's hand.
XANDER:
I've got a theory we should work this out.
ANYA/TARA/WILLOW/XANDER:
It's getting eerie, what's this cheery singing all about?
XANDER: [jumps up]
It could be witches!
Some evil witches! [sees Willow's and Tara's expressions]
Willow and Tara laughed at their on-screen selves.
Which is ridiculous, 'cause witches they were persecuted,
Wicca good and love the earth and woman power
and I'll be over here. [sits]
Buffy giggled, and Spike looked at her lovingly.
ANYA: I've got a theory! It could be bunnies!
Silence. The others just stare at her. Sound of crickets chirping.
Dawn giggled.
TARA: I've got a-
Suddenly the tune changes to a frantic hard-rock beat with electric guitar and a roving spotlight that waves crazily over Anya.
ANYA: (shrieking a la Alanis Morissette)
Bunnies aren't just cute like everybody supposes!
They've got them hoppy legs and twitchy little noses!
And what's with all the carrots?
What do they need such good eyesight for anyway?
[playing air guitar]
Bunnies!
Bunnies!
It must be bunnies!
Fireworks go off all around her, then the smoke clears away. The others continue simply staring.
No one said anything.
ANYA: (back to original melody)
Or maybe midgets.
WILLOW: (quickly sits down beside Giles and opens a book)
I've got a theory we should work this fast.
WILLOW/GILES:
Because it clearly could get serious before it's passed.
Giles gets up, starts to climb the stairs to the loft.
BUFFY: I've got a theory. It doesn't matter.
"What are you talking 'bout?" Willow asked.
Giles pauses, turns back. Everyone looks at Buffy.
BUFFY:
What can't we face if we're together?
What's in this place that we can't weather?
Apocalypse?
We've all been there.
The same old trips
Why should we care?
Some glanced worriedly at Buffy, Spike shrugged, she was right.
ALL EXCEPT GILES:
What can't we do if we get in it?
We'll work it through within a minute.
Buffy looks at Giles throughout this. He watches her too and finally joins in.
ALL:
We have to try
We'll pay the price
It's do or die
BUFFY:
Hey, I've died twice.
Buffy shrugged and smiled. "It's true." Spike slouched more in his seat.
Giles smiles, comes down off the ladder.
ALL: What can't we face if we're together?
GILES: (descant) What can't we face...
ALL: What's in this place that we can't weather?
GILES: ...if we're together...
ALL: There's nothing we can't face.
ANYA: (sits) Except for bunnies.
End of song "I've Got A Theory."
XANDER: (sits) See, okay, that was disturbing.
"That man," Xander pointed to himself on the screen. "Is one funny guy."
WILLOW: (sits) I thought it was neat.
BUFFY: So what is it? What's causing it?
GILES: I thought it didn't matter.
BUFFY: Well, I'm not exactly quaking in my stylish yet affordable boots, but there's definitely something unnatural going on here. And that doesn't usually lead to hugs and puppies.
"They are nice boots," WIllow said thoughtfully.
ANYA: Well, is it just us? I mean, is it only happening to us? (Buffy turns away) 'Cause that would probably mean a spell or-
Buffy goes to the door, opens it. The bell jingles.
Cut to the street. A man (BTVS writer/producer David Fury) stands in the street holding a shirt in a dry-cleaning bag.
DAVID: (sings) They got ... the mustard ... out!
"That's… really great.," Xander said.
We see a whole crowd of people standing in dance formation holding dry-cleaning bags. They do a synchronized dance, waving the clothing around.
CROWD: (sings) They got the mustard out!
Buffy turns back into the store, closes the door.
BUFFY: It's not just us.
Cut to later. Dawn enters the store wearing a huge smile.
"Yay, it's me! Finally." Dawn grinned.
DAWN: Oh my god. You will never believe what happened at school today.
Reveal the rest of the gang sitting around the table looking at books.
BUFFY: Everybody started singing and dancing?
Dawn looks disappointed.
Shot of Willow and Tara whispering to each other.
DAWN: So, you guys too, huh? (walks closer)
XANDER: So what'd you guys sing about?
DAWN: (sighs) Math.
Xander sighed. "How I don't miss math."
Dawn puts down her backpack, sits on a stool by the counter. We see Willow whispering in Tara's ear.
TARA: (loudly) Tha-That's right! The, the volume. The text.
GILES: What text?
WILLOW: The volume-y text. You know? The, the (mumbles) report.
"They aren't talking about text," Anya whispered to Xander.
XANDER: The what now?
TARA: Oh, there's just a few volumes back at the house that deal with mystical chants, bacchanals.
Dawn glances at the counter, sees a necklace lying there.
TARA: It might be relevant.
WILLOW: Yeah, we could, um-
GILES: Well, I'm a hair's breadth from investigating bunnies at the moment, so I'm open to anything.
Dawn furtively picks up the necklace and puts it in her pocket.
"Dawn!" Buffy scolded.
"You have to pay for that," Anya said.
Dawn shrugged nervously.
WILLOW: Great, we'll, uh, go check it out and uh, we'll give you a call.
TARA: Yeah, this could blow the whole thing wide open.
Cut to Willow and Tara walking through a park. It's sunny and beautiful. Green grass, blue sky, etc.
TARA: Do we have any books at all at home?
"Ah hah!" Xander smiled. "Tara and Willow, you bad girls,"
"I told you," Anya shot a knowing look towards Xander.
WILLOW: Well, who wants to be cooped up on a day like this? The sun is shining, there's songs going on...
A couple of young men walk by and look at Willow and Tara as they pass.
WILLOW: ...those guys are checking you out.
TARA: What? (turns to look) Wh-What are they looking at?
WILLOW: The hotness of you, doofus.
Buffy smiled at the couple.
TARA: Those boys really thought I was hot? (looks back at them again)
WILLOW: Entirely.
TARA: Oh my god. I'm cured! I want the boys!
Tara makes like she's going to run after the guys. Willow grabs her and pulls her back. Tara giggles.
Spike sighed, as long as the camera was off him.
WILLOW: Do I have to fight to keep you? 'Cause I'm not large with the butch.
They stand underneath a tree, leaning on a wooden railing.
TARA: I'm just ... not used to that. They-they were really looking at me?
WILLOW: (fondly) And you can't imagine what they see in you.
TARA: I know exactly what they see in me. You.
Song: "I'm Under Your Spell"
TARA: (verse one)
I lived my life in shadow
Never the sun on my face.
It didn't seem so sad, though
I figured that was my place
Now I'm bathed in light
Willow kissed Tara on the cheek.
[walking out from the shade, lifting her face to the sun]
Something just isn't right
I'm under your spell
How else could it be
Anyone would notice me?
It's magic, I can tell
How you set me free
Brought me out so easily.
Dawn shrugged. "I don't see what's so bad with everyone singing and dancing, it's cute, it's romantic…"
Pan across a little stream with a bridge over it. Willow and Tara are on the bridge. Tara takes Willow's hand and they walk off the bridge onto a path, holding hands.
TARA: (verse two)
I saw a world enchanted
Spirits and charms in the air.
Tara makes a gesture with her arm and sparkles appear, following her hand with a little tinkling noise.
TARA:
I always took for granted
I was the only one there.
Willow makes some even more impressive sparkles with her hand, ending in a small shower of sparks surrounding them both. They smile at each other.
TARA:
But your power shone
Brighter than any I've known.
Tara spins away from Willow. We see a small pond at the edge of the grass. Tara begins to dance.
Spike wasn't paying attention, instead thinking about Buffy and if she would sing about him.
TARA:
I'm under your spell
Nothing I can do
You just took my soul with you
A couple of young women are on the grass sunbathing in the background. They get up and begin dancing in sync with Tara.
"I wonder what those women were thinking," Tara pondered.
"Probably about how cute you are," Willow put her head on Tara's shoulder.
TARA:
You worked your charms so well
Finally, I knew
Everything I dreamed was true
You made me believe.
SUNBATHERS:
Ahhh, ahhh, ahhh (etc...)
Willow and Tara spin around in each other's arms. Suddenly they are in their bedroom. They sit down on the bed and look lovingly at each other. The music and background "ahh, ahh" continues.
TARA:
The moon to the tide
I can feel you inside
I'm under your spell [lies down on the bed]
Surging like the sea [Willow leans over her, smiles]
Wanting you so helplessly
I break with every swell [Willow moves downward, disappears out of shot]
Lost in ecstasy
Spread beneath my willow tree
You make me complete!
Tara's body slowly rises up and hovers over the bed.
"That's kind of… weird," Xander thought.
TARA:
You make me complete
You make me complete
You make me...
Cut back to the magic shop. Everyone still looking at books.
XANDER: I bet they're not even working.
"Oh no, they've got us," Tara giggled.
BUFFY: Who now?
XANDER: Willow and Tara. You see the way they were with each other? The get-a-roominess to them? I bet they're- (glances at Dawn, catches himself) Singing. They're probably singing right now.
"He was right, even if that wasn't what he was going to say," Willow said.
GILES: I'm sure Willow and Tara are making every effort.
XANDER: Oh, yeah.
BUFFY: Xander.
DAWN: Buffy, it's okay. I do know about this stuff. Besides, it's all kinda romantic.
BUFFY/XANDER: No it's not!
DAWN: Come on! Songs, dancing around. What's gonna be wrong with that?
"I don't think it's bad either," Tara said.
Cut to the Bronze. It's dark. A man is tap-dancing across the floor. Cut closer and we see that his expression is scared and desperate. He continues dancing and suddenly bursts into flame, screaming.
He falls to the floor in front of a pair of feet in red shoes and red pants.
Pan up to reveal a demon in a red suit, with red skin and a pointy chin.
SWEET: That's entertainment.
Blackout.
"So… Maybe it's not so good," Xander grimaced.
"Yeah! That guy is just ashes!" Anya said, still perky.
A/N: So that was the first act. Now, please review, favorite and follow! I promise- it will make me update faster. Also, anything you'd like to see? Some more Xander x Anya? Willow and Tara? Spuffy? Want me to add in any more characters? Constructive criticism is very welcome, any way I can make people more in character? Thanks!