The Great Hall was crowded. Nearly every student was there to have breakfast before their classes started. The ceiling of the Hall mirrored the sky outside. It was clear blue with a few fluffy clouds decorating it.
Teddy put down his hand, which was holding a piece of parchment. An owl had delivered it a few moments ago, and with it disrupted the discussion Teddy was having with Richie, his friend, about Victoire. The letter was a short note from his grandmother about something Teddy really didn't like. As if in trance he stared into space. He wasn't focusing on anything – it was just an empty gaze. Nevertheless, his eyes found something to glance at, or rather said someone particular at the Gryffindor table. Teddy saw black hair and dark eyes, that he had known nearly his whole life. Yet suddenly he saw them differently. He saw James differently. After the summer, Teddy couldn't think of James as his cousin anymore. At once Teddy had stopped to wish he was related to the Potters.
James looked up and his eyes met Teddy's. His smile came easily unlike Teddy's. "James is not haunted with wrong thoughts as I am," Teddy thought still staring at James, who waved at him and looked away immediately.
"Teddy, what's wrong?" asked Richie, waving his hand in front of Teddy's eyes.
Teddy shook his head to get rid of his thoughts. "Nothing. Everything's perfectly fine," he forced a smile onto his face.
"Are you sure?" Teddy nodded. "So… Why did your hair turn red?"
Teddy startled and grabbed a strand of his hair, which was too short to pull into his sight. Yet he believed Richie and calmed down to change his hair back to blue.
"I'm just…" He held up the letter, which was still in his hand. "I got… er… well, interesting news." Teddy couldn't tell his friend the truth. He probably wouldn't understand. Besides he was still thinking Teddy dated Victoire – like his grandma.
Richie gave Teddy a questioning look, but Teddy pretended to not see it. He wasn't feeling like talking about it. Instead he took another bite of his toast and tried to stop himself from looking to the Gryffindor table again. He managed to keep himself back for five seconds until he heard a familiar laugh – James. Once again Teddy felt disappointed James was sorted into Gryffindor and not Hufflepuff. If James was a Hufflepuff, Teddy could sit next to him right now at laugh at his jokes. Look directly into those beautiful hazelnut eyes. Touch the dimple that showed up on James' face whenever he was grinning.
"Merlin, I should stop having such thoughts. James is my godfather's son. He has always been like a cousin to me. He sees me just as his cousin," Teddy tried to convince himself.
He then looked down sighing deeply. He realised, he was still holding the letter and put it away into his pocket.
"Eat up," Richie said. "We need to leave in a moment."
Teddy took a look at his grandfather's watch, which has belonged to his mother before him, and nodded. Richie was right. They had only ten minutes until their Herbology class would start. Teddy finished his toast and took a big gulp of pumpkin juice. Richie already stood up to leave the Great Hall. Teddy followed his example, but he couldn't make it without taking a last glance at James.
"Would you pass me the jam?" Warren asked James, while they were sitting at the Gryffindor table during breakfast.
"Get it yourself! It's right next to you!" James exclaimed annoyed. He hadn't slept well after the miserable Quidditch training yesterday. Right now he wasn't in the mood to quarrel with his friends.
"Merlin, James relax."
James rolled his eyes and looked away. He didn't know why he was in such a bad mood. It couldn't be just Quidditch. He didn't want to talk with anybody. The only thing he really wanted right now was to be left alone. He moved his scrambled eggs around his plate. His appetite seemed to be gone, too. He was fed up with the day even before it had actually started.
Suddenly James felt as if someone was watching him. Why? Why couldn't everyone leave him alone? Angrily he looked up to see that the person, who was watching him, was Teddy. At once James calmed down. Seeing Teddy's friendly face made James breathe easier. All the anger and frustration disappeared immediately.
James couldn't help himself but smile at Teddy when the boy's hair turned red. He had to every time he saw him, even though he knew he shouldn't be affected by Teddy like that. He waved awkwardly at Teddy and looked away.
Teddy had always been there. His face was familiar to James the same way his parents' faces were. He had admired Teddy his whole life until he realised it wasn't mere admiration he felt towards Teddy. No, admiration wouldn't give him this flattery feeling in his stomach. It had to be love. Not familiar or platonic love. James had romantic feelings towards Teddy. It took him a long, long time to admit this to himself. Nevertheless, he only saw it as the first step to overcome his feelings. After all, Teddy was dating Victoire. There was no possibility he would be interested in someone he saw as his little cousin.
"Earth to James," Margie said.
"Leave him alone. He's a diva today," Warren snorted.
"At least he's not a diva permanently like you," Margie countered.
James laughed out loud. It sounded way too loud. Yet it freed him from his thoughts and feelings. Sometimes a good laugh was everything someone needed.
"Have you finished your Transfiguration essay?" Margie asked after James finished laughing.
James shook his head. "Haven't found anything on the transformation of inanimate into animate objects. And you?"
"Same problem. Want to go to the library together?" Margie was leaning over the table.
"Yeah, sure," James could need some help.
"A hot date?" Warren laughed. Margie and James looked at each other before bursting into laughter.
"Mate, I'd rather date you," James said. Although he meant it, he knew Jeremy would understand it as a joke. He was affirmed when his friend started to laugh.
James felt like being watched again. This time he didn't look up. James liked to see Teddy, but him looking back at James was weird. James was then constantly reminded that he was doing something wrong. Instead he looked down at his plate. As his mood was better now, his appetite was back, too. Seeing Teddy and thinking about him always helped. He is James' ease of mind.
James finished his breakfast and waits for his friends to get ready. They had to go to the dungeons in a moment as their first class would be Potions. Yet Warren and Margie were discussing their weekend plans. This could last forever. James looked away from his friends and saw Teddy turning towards the exit. James tried to remember the way Teddy was walking. Burn it into his mind as it made him grin.
Today's classes were finally over. Teddy was glad. The whole day he wasn't able to concentrate. He had to think about his grandma's letter. He read it over and over again, until he knew it off by heart. Yet it didn't help him to decide how to tell his grandma the truth. Why was this so hard?
Teddy left the Charms' classroom together with Richie. His friend was in a good mood although their teachers were only talking about their NEWTs today. Richie was excited with the idea of graduating school, which right now freaked Teddy out. People were expecting things from him. Things he wasn't sure he could do.
Teddy told Richie an excuse to leave him. He needed to be alone. He went to the library. It would most probably be jammed, but also silent. Teddy would be finally able to think about everything.
He entered the library just to see James sit there with a girl. Dammit. He turned away and sat down at an empty table. He pulled out his grandmother's note from his pocket and kept reading it over and over again.
"There you are."
Teddy startled when he heard Victoire's voice. Quickly he put the note away.
"Yes, here I am," he answered not knowing what else he could say.
"I haven't seen you the whole day. Have you been hiding?" Victoire asked.
Teddy shook his head. "Why should I, Vic?"
"You're different today."
Teddy looked down at his hands. "We –" He sighed.
"What is it Teddy?"
Teddy clicked with his tongue. "We have to stop doing this." He looked up into Victoire's eyes. "Everyone thinks we're dating. We need to tell them the truth."
"Teddy… To know that I was lying to her, will break my mum's heart. I can't tell her the truth."
"Do you want to live a lie for your mum? It has been fun, but it'll have an aftermath. I can't do it anymore." Teddy stopped for a second and grabbed Victoire's hand. "You're my best friend. But we need to officially break up. No more fake relationships."
Victoire's face was serious now, she realised that Teddy really meant it. "What happened, Teddy? I thought you wanted to do that."
Teddy nodded. "As I said it has been fun. I mean remember the two months when we were actually dating? It was weird and awful. Pretending to was much more fun. Furthermore, guys stopped harassing you and asking you out. You seemed happier. That's why I kept doing it. Our families were happy, too."
"So everything was fine- Wait, have you met someone new?" Victoire's face lit up with interest.
Teddy snorted. "No, no. I haven't met anyone new." James was nobody new. Besides, Teddy wasn't doing this because of James. "I just think our families put too much hope into this. If we keep doing this, we will have to marry one day."
"Merlin!" Victoire was too loud what made the librarian shush at them. "Teddy, you're right. I haven't thought about that."
"Neither have I. Until today," Teddy let go of Victoire's hand.
"Should we just tell everybody we lied?"
Teddy shook his head slowly. "No, that will break not only your mother's heart. We will break up. Pretend we fight or something like that."
Victoire was staring at him for a moment before standing up. "How can you do this to me, Edward Lupin?" She screamed as loud as possible and stormed away before the surprised librarian could ask for silence.
The shock made Teddy turn his hair orange. He then swallowed hard. She has nearly given him a heart attack. "Merlin, Vic's good," he thought trying to hold his laugh back. After a few seconds he was able to calm himself down. One problem gone. One more to go. He stood up to leave the library. He couldn't think here anymore as everyone was staring at him. He had to be alone to figure out everything.
"I found something," Margie said looking up from the book she was currently reading. "To transform an inanimate object into an animate one, a witch or wizard has not only to change the objects appearance but also to breathe new life into the object."
"Isn't it obvious?" James asked.
"Of course, but at least it's a source we can name."
James nodded and started to write it down. "We could add that it's a difference between making the object animate on its own and controlling it to move," he added.
"Source?" Margie asked.
James looked up grinning. "Mr. James Sirius Potter?" His smile died when he saw Teddy walk in. James watched him sit down at an empty table.
Margie sighed making James look at her again. "I'm still five inches short."
James measured his parchment roll. "Four inches," he mumbled and looked at Teddy once again. He was staring at a piece of parchment. James could read his face without problem. Something was bothering Teddy. James should just excuse himself for a moment and check on –
"You're lucky your handwriting's that big," Margie disrupted James' thoughts.
"What?" James needed a second to realise what Margie was talking about. "Oh, yeah. Yes, I am." James wanted to stand up when he saw his cousin Victoire walk over to Teddy. As his girlfriend, of course she would be the person to cheer him up. Disappointed James moved around on his chair. He could see that Teddy was not comfortable but he didn't know why. James made himself look away from Teddy and Victoire trying to give them some privacy. So he looked at Margie, who was watching him.
"What is distracting you?" she asked.
"I'm not distracted," the moment James said those words he knew Margie wouldn't believe him. "It's nothing important," he tried to convince her.
Still Margie gave him a doubting look. "Is it about -?"
"Shush," James interrupted her and took a look around to see if anybody was listening to them. After he was sure no one was in hearing range, he nodded. Margie attempted to turn around but stopped at once. Instead she bent over the table. "What is he doing?" she asked.
"Talking with Vic. It seems, they have a problem."
Margie grinned turning around a page. "Maybe they'll break up," she whispered with a smirk.
"Don't say that," James looked over to Teddy who grabbed Victoire's hand. "They are the perfect couple."
Margie rolled with her eyes. "No, they're not. There's no such thing as a perfect couple."
"You mean, besides me and my broom?" James laughed and the librarian shushed at him.
"Rather besides you and Teddy," Margie whispered barely hearable.
"Ma-"
"It's okay. I'll leave it now. Keep reading, Romeo," Margie turned one more page around. "Or is it Juliet?"
James hit her with a parchment roll, that was lying next to his hand, before he started to read again.
"Merlin!" James could hear Victoire call out and took a look at the couple. Something was wrong. James wished he could hear what they were talking about, yet they were sitting too far away and speaking with hushed voices. "Isn't there a spell that would allow me to listen to them?" James asked himself, just in the second Victoire stood up and started to scream: "How can you do this to me, Edward Lupin?!"
James' cousin stormed out of the library. Teddy was staring after her while his hair turned orange. It nearly looked like James' mother's hair. Teddy breathed out visibly and his hair was blue again. Still he seemed startled and troubled. James realised he was staring at Teddy, as nearly everyone in the library, and looked away quickly. Yet from the corner of his eye James could see Teddy stand up and leave the library.
James stared at the book lying in front of him without reading. When he finally looked up he found Margie watching him. "What are you doing?" she asked James.
"Er- my homework."
"Why aren't you doing what you're supposed to?" Her lips became smaller with every word what meant that she was angry with him. Yet James didn't get what she was talking about. He just looked at her confused.
"Goddammit, James. Go after him. They broke up. It's your chance," Margie talked calmly, but James could see that she wasn't calm at all.
"No," he shook his head. "I shouldn't do that."
"James fucking Potter," Margie hissed. "I ship the both of you for years. I'll bloody kill you if you don't go after him right now."
James was confused once again. "Ship-," the look Margie gave him made him stop immediately. "She's right," he thought instead to himself. As quickly as possible he begun to pack up his stuff.
"Leave it. I'll take your bag with me to the common room," Margie said. Her tone was friendly again.
James stood up trembling. He walked towards the exit but then he turned around having second thoughts.
"Go, get him, Tiger," Margie mouthed soundlessly with a grin.
James left the library. There was no clue where Teddy has gone to. But James knew exactly, where he would find him.
Teddy sat down on the grass and looked up. Fluffy clouds were covering the sky above the Whomping Willow. Teddy leaned against a tree and closed his eyes. He should write a reply to his grandmother, yet he didn't know how to put everything on his mind into words. How should he tell the woman who raised him he wouldn't do any of the things she expected from him? How should he find words for a message that'll probably break her heart?
Teddy opened his eyes and watched the Whomping Willow move lazily in the sun light.
"Hey." Teddy looked up when he heard James' silent voice.
"Hi," he replied and looked down on his hands. The dry leaves on the ground crackled when James sat down next to Teddy. He didn't say anything. He was watching Teddy. James knew exactly it would be the best to stay silent to make Teddy talk. And he was right. After a few seconds Teddy felt like he had to say something. "Vic and I broke up."
James nodded. "I know. I've been there. That's why I came here."
"How did you know, where I am?"
James smiled looking at the willow, too. "You have once told me it's one of your favourite places. That you come here when you need to think because-"
"It feels like dad's here," Teddy finished James sentence.
Once again none of them was saying anything. One could clearly hear the wind moving the leaves and birds singing. "Why did you break up?" James disrupted the silence.
Teddy sighed loudly. He was up to tell James a lie when he realised he wanted James to know the truth. He pulled out his grandma's letter and handed it James. Teddy looked away while James unfolded the parchment. Yet then turn to James and watched him read the letter. Teddy observed James' hazelnut eyes move as they read the words Teddy knew by heart.
Teddy,
I've talked with Harry. He said he'll keep a spot open for you in the Auror Office. You'll be able to become an Auror like your mother. Although I have already talked with him, you have to write Harry about it, too. Don't forget about it, love.
I have also found your mother's engagement ring. I think it'll suit Victoire. Think about it.
Love, Gran
James put the letter down. "So you broke up because your grandma wants the both of you to marry?" he asked after a moment.
Teddy nodded. "Reading this, I realised I can't stay with Vic. It would eventually end in a marriage and I don't want to marry her."
"But you've been happy together, weren't you?" James asked. The second he said those words, he regretted them. He should rather talk Teddy out of the relationship, not help him save it. Yet luckily it didn't seem as Teddy would change his mind. He snorted loudly. "Jamie-," he paused for a moment. "We've never really dated."
"What?" James couldn't hold himself back and grinned widely. Teddy saw his grin, which made him smile, too. "About a year ago," Teddy started to explain. Even those few words made him already feel as if a great weight fell from his shoulders immediately. "A Slytherin, Ruben Nott, kept asking Vic out. He has been very persistent and Vic wasn't feeling good about it. So one day when I was fed up with the whole thing I told him to leave her alone because we were dating. From that point on he drew back slowly, still watching us. And suddenly everyone seemed to know even our families." James felt bad hearing this. He was the one telling everyone his family about the rumours about Teddy and Victoire. He was hoping they would end it. "They've been so happy about it. So we decided to try it out. But it has been weird. Suddenly we couldn't talk with each other anymore. Not like before. It got worse with every day," Teddy hid his face in his hands and sighed. "We decided to be just friends again. But I still wanted to protect her from Nott, so we kept pretending. Our families grew fonder of the idea and it was nearly impossible to break up."
Teddy finished his story and James was not sure he has been happier before. He felt like flying and eating chocolate cake and joking around with his friends at once. Yet at the same time he also felt guilty. He was happy because Teddy felt bad. This wasn't right.
"Gran's letter was a wake-up call. Now we'll pretend we broke up. And, Jamie… You're the only person who knows the truth. I need it to stay like that, okay?" When James looked up he saw Teddy's face full of sorrow.
"Yes, of course. You can trust me," James assured him at once. Yet Teddy's face didn't change. "There's something else," James stated after a second. Teddy nodded and pointed at the letter. James looked down at it not understanding what was wrong with it.
"Grand says I can be an Auror like mum," Teddy whispered.
"Isn't it good news?"
"It might be. But I don't know if I want to become an Auror. I don't know what I want to do after school!"
"So what?" James shrugged with his shoulders. "You can take some time for yourself to find out. Travel. Try out some jobs."
Teddy looked up surprised at James. "That is actually a good idea," he said. "But gran…"
James nudged Teddy with his elbow. "She'll understand. And if not, I got your back."
"Thanks," Teddy smiled at James thankfully. For the first time since the summer he looked him directly into his hazelnut eyes.
"Of course! You always got mine. Now it's time to repay my debt."
"Debt?" Teddy asked not knowing what James was talking about.
"Do you remember my 5th birthday?"
It had been a hot August day. Teddy was already seven years old; and in his opinion too old to attend a birthday party for a five-year-old, but his grandmother made him go. He was spending much time with the Potters anyway, and he liked it most of the time. Yet he wished he could rather spend the day with the boy he just met, when he accompanied his grandmother to the elementary school to enlist him for his first schoolyear. Richie Carter, a young wizard like Teddy, was there with his father Richard Senior to get enlisted, too. They liked each other on the first sight. After Teddy got to know that Mr Carter has known his dad from Hogwarts, he liked the Carters even more. Nevertheless, he had promised James to come to his birthday party before he met Richie, and he had to keep his promise.
It was too hot to have a party outside, so they celebrated inside. At least until James opened his first present. It was from his parents. His very first broom. Of course it has been just a toy broomstick, that would rise only high enough for the child to fly around. James wanted to try it out immediately making the whole party go outside with him.
James swung his leg over the broom and kicked off from the ground… too hard. Yet the broom, that was made to stay near the ground, did not fly high, instead it gave a jerk to the right and crushed into a young tree, that Harry planted when James was born. James fell off the broom, which flew off on its own. At once the child started to cry. Ginny made her way to James slowly. She wanted to help him up, but she knew she shouldn't do it immediately. James had to learn that wanting to fly equalled the possibility to fall. Yet before she could reach her son, Teddy was already there hugging her weeping child.
"It's okay, Jaime," he whispered into James' ear. "It was just an accident."
James clutched at Teddy's t-shirt. "I'll- I'll ne- never sit on a broom again!" he shouted through his tears, what made the little Lily, who was only one and a half years old, cry, too.
Teddy let go of James, who was still holding him. "I'll not hear anything like this from you," he scolded James. He then stood up pulling James up. James let go of Teddy looking surprised and scared at him. Teddy had never before talked with him like that. Yet Teddy ignored James' look and walked towards the broom. He picked it up and brought it into position. "Come here," Teddy pointed at the broomstick.
James kept staring at Teddy for a moment, but then he walked over to him.
"I think we can leave the parenting to him," Ginny whispered to Harry while cradling Lily, who won't stop crying. Harry nodded and they returned to the house, where it had been way cooler.
Teddy watched his godfather go away. "Sit on the broom," he then said to James.
"But, I'll fall again."
"You won't," Teddy assured him. "I got your back. And even if you fall I'll catch you."
James was convinced by the warm look Teddy gave him and nodded. He sat down on the broom, but kept his feet on the ground. At least until Teddy put a hand on his back to support him. James kicked off from ground, this time more carefully and started flying around.
"That's awesome!" he exclaimed and turned around to face Teddy. But he wasn't directly behind James, but a few feet away. He had let go of James. Instead he was standing in the middle of the garden and watching James. "I love it! Thank you, for making me do it," James shouted as he circled around Teddy.
"You owe me, kiddo."
"Yes, sure I remember. But I never thought, you'd take that seriously."
James rolled his eyes. "What is my second name?"
Teddy laughed out loud for the first time today. "Merlin, now I have to be careful with what I say around you."
Although James knew Teddy was joking, he felt a pang. "No," he whispered looking down. "You can always speak freely around me."
Teddy stared at the ground, too. His heart was beating faster, yet he didn't know what to say. He bit his lip. Suddenly he felt James' fingers on his own. Teddy wasn't sure what this meant, yet he liked it. Allowed it. Intertwined their fingers. He looked at James, who was staring in the opposite direction. Teddy could see that James was blushing and it made him smile.
"Jamie," he whispered. "I want you to know, that I always got your back."