THE OTHER SIDE OF ME
A Hannah Montana Fan Fiction
Hannah Montana – as we all know – has two sides. But did you know about her third? That's what her song, "The Other Side of Me", is about! C'mon you fucker, you know it to be true. She not only has two lives, but fucking split-personality syndrome. She will one day – after sucking all her fan's tiny schlongs – show a side of her that all those crackers who watch this Goddamn show will flip out over. That is, before they DIE.
Apparently everyone found out Miley Cyrus' phone number. When the police searched her house after her death, they found sketches of a small man with a paper bag over his head. The text underneath said, "IMMA FUCKIN' KILL YOU!" All her fans – that were still alive – were stunned. They knew her only to be that sweet little girl that was on Disney Channel and couldn't ever hurt a fly. Most people, like me however, were not surprised, and rather content. We had wanted to rip her eyes out for too long now. It was about time.
This is the story about how she turned into an insane serial killer and how her death occurred. Please read and review.
The first signs of Miley's insanity were seen on November 26. She walked into a grocery store and bought 8,000 packs of brown paper bags, 40 pairs of scissors, and more black pipe cleaners than a South African super orgy. People were surprised to see this, and they didn't know where she was going with it. But that hideous grin of hers told civilians something had to be wrong.
When she went home, Miley went straight to her room and nailed the door shut. Her father – also known as Billy Ray Cyrus – tried to get through the door using everything he could...including a chain saw. Nothing seemed to work.
One week later, her door opened. The FBI was standing outside, wondering why the fucking hell she would lock herself in a room for that long. Instead of seeing Hannah Montana, out poured nearly 1 million tiny paper bag men with every weapon you could ever imagine. They killed FBI squad, and moved along to the many houses of those fans that wouldn't stop calling her cell phone.
The attack was horrid, gruesome, and not to mention gory as fuck. It was worse than any war in the history of the universe. All the poor, stupid whores that called her were tracked down by the angry paper bag men...and killed. Even the fans that didn't call ended up dying. All the Disney Channel celebrities tried to join in and help, but were pulverized as well. Paris Hilton died too. :D I, along with the rest of the world, laughed as we watched it on the news. Even the News Anchors were laughing their asses off.
It took months to find the 14-year-old murderer. But, when they did, she was sniped by the FBI. Her body was experimented on to find a cure for HIV/AIDS. Disney was sued and ended up going out of business – for GOOD. Poor Walt...
And, since there were no more Hannah Montana fans, the world was happy. Now, people moved on with their lives, not having to cringe every time Disney showed up when they flipped through channels. The world was a better place. [:
Now wasn't that just Helluva Tasty? It's better than yours. Believe it or die bitches...