Sunday Morning
Childish laughter filled the air and the smell of bacon and eggs frying filled the senses of everyone in the house. The lone figure in the bed grumbled and turned to face the direction of the smell. Tangled up in warm, soft sheets released a sigh and in his chest an alien feeling bubbled up inside of him, happiness.
"Severus", an angels voice called from behind the closed door. "Breakfast is almost ready and you have to get up because you promised Harry you would help him with his potions assignment."
Why should I help the Potter brat, especially at potions?
He's my son, why wouldn't I help him
Severus got up from the bed and walked to the adjacent bathroom.
He looked into the mirror and saw a man he did not recognize. He still had the same greasy hair and beaked nose but all the wrinkles and added stress lines were goan. His mouth showed lines that provided that he could actually smile and have done it more often. However his eyes broke the image of a content man, they were still full of bitter sorrow.
This is not real, it's just a dream
His inner mind told the truth but his body still got ready as if for the day. He got dressed and made the bed, all without magic, and exited the bedroom.
As he walked along the walls of the house his mind conjured up, Severus looked and studied every picture. The pictures showed a stranger's life of could've beens. Pictures showing them together in childhood, full of innocent love for each other. Pictures showing them at Hogwarts together, a Slytherin and a Ravenclaw, all the way up through seventh year. Finally there were pictures of there wedding, with her in a white dress looking more beautiful than ever and him looking at her like she was the whole world and smiling like a lovesick fool.
These moments never happen, she choose him, not you and you killed her.
Severus payed the voice no attention, to absorbed in what might of been. As he walked down the stairs he saw more pictures of what could've been his life. Pictures of his children, a boy with his dark hair and hey dark eyes and a little angel who look exactly like her mother.
They are not real, you don't have anyone
He saw toys on the ground and found himself smiling at them.
The brats don't know how to clean up after themselves, why should I feel happiness because of it?
Because they are her children, my children and I love them.
He saw and felt all the domesticity the house, no his home offered and felt content.
He could never feel that emotion because he doesn't deserve to after what he did to her
Severus reached the kitchen door and hesitated before opening it.
If I open this door i'm only letting myself feel more pain. I know it is not real and that I don't even deserve to dream about happiness with her, but why can't I stop my hand from moving towards the door handle.
He grasped the door handle and with a forlorn look was about to release it when a siren's song hit him.
"Severus come on we're all waiting for you."
"Come on dad we can't start without you."
Severus was weak to resists the temptation and he grasped the handle and pulled the door open.
I will take a moment of a dream if it meant being with her again because it's better to fool myself than having to live in the reality of her not with me.