A/N: None of these characters belong to me. All are the incredible work of Ms. J.K. Rowling.

"ARGGHH"

Her yell of frustration echoed through the room, reverberating in the high ceilings of the library. Sirius, upon hearing the cry, paused and sighed to himself – bloody Evans.

He strode into the dusty room, weaving past the shelves stacked high with books; the very sight of Sirius Black in the Library caused Madame Pince, attempting to scrub some profane drawings off the Library walls, to plunge straight through the brick in shock.

He rounded one last cluster of shelves to find a red haired girl sprawled on the faded carpet before him. She was lying face down, one fist slowly thumping the ground and the other curled tightly around her wand. In front of her was a charred book, smoking ever so slightly.

Sirius stuck out his hand and cleared his throat. Lily Evans looked up slowly and ceased her rhythmic beating of the floor before grabbing the proffered hand and hauling herself upright.

"Thanks." She muttered, not looking at her rescuer but at the burnt book. "Damn. It's James's."

Sirius rolled his eyes "So? I break his stuff all the time." And as if to prove his point, he took a quill out of his pocket and snapped it.
"See? He won't care."

Lily gave Sirius the sort of look that made him feel as if he should make sure he hadn't sprouted another head in the past few seconds. "Of course he'll care; he gave it to me for my birthday last year. All James Potter does is care and analyse every little thing I do!" she sighed, her exasperation clear, walking past Sirius and smacking him across the shoulder as she went.

"Ouch. And I suppose you have something of a point there but just explain and I'm sure the shit-fit he throws won't be too bad." Sirius set off after Lily. "Actually, what did happen? I assume you were trying to get the extra Charms credit?"

"Yeah, Flitwick gave me the most horrendous spell. I was looking it up and sort of muttered it under my breath and then, well -"

"Nice one, Evans, real smart"

Lily blushed and shot her companion another angry look. "What the hell has been up with you these past few weeks? You've done nothing but sulk and glare and it's pissing us all off – James included" she spat.

"Oh been having cosy chats about me with him, have you?" Sirius shot back, equally as angry.

"So what if we have? I thought you wanted me and James to stop fighting. Sorry things aren't going as quickly as you wanted but I have to take this at my own pace."

Sirius smoothed out his face, forcing himself to banish away his frown. "Yeah, you and James is exactly what I want. I guess the whole 'Merlin, she's talking to me! Do you think she blah blah blah blah blahs' talk is sort of getting to me. And you're right, this book thing is going provoke much analysis – no one's sleeping in our dorm tonight."

"Sorry, I guess." Lily smiled to herself. "But, haven't you always had to put up with Lily-talk?" she asked, somewhat self-consciously.

Sirius shrugged "Not as much as you'd think. He knew you weren't interested, thought you were a lost cause. I suppose we all did. Never saw this change of heart…" He snatched her book and pulled a soppy face, making Lily laugh and reach to grab it back.

Sirius handed the book back with a grin that was so close to not being forced; he fell at the last hurdle, however, and had to work at keeping his eyebrows scowl-free.

The pair wandered in silence; the lack of conversation was not awkward, just a reflection of the relationship Lily and Sirius shared. They moved in the same friendship circle, each thought of the other as one of their closer friends despite both finding one another incredibly frustrating.

Whilst she recognized his loyalty and humour, Lily Evans believed Sirius Black to be something of a twat. He was, of course, undeniably gorgeous but did he know it. The way he treated his adoring fans was, quite frankly, appalling (although they were a bunch of vapid bimbos). He put simply no effort into his school work and the way he strutted round the castle sometimes made Lily want to punch him.

Sirius, until Third Year, had called Lily 'Little Miss Stick-Up-Her-Arse' – Arsey for short. She was everything he despised in a person: intelligent, demanding, and boring and had a major superiority complex. She answered every question in class and was constantly scolding James and Sirius for messing about in class. Fourth Year and they became of better acquaintance however, Sirius still found her presence rather grating. When James pronounced his love for the flame-haired girl at the end of the year his best friend merely commented "Fit, yeah, but a bit of a pain in the arse. We're going to have to work on teaching her the whole 'letting-your-hair-down concept'."

This said, the pair had become friends and shared laughs and midnight adventure. They knew each other well-enough to enjoy a comfortably silent walk in one another's company.

Sirius paused as they reached the Entrance Hall. "Not hungry, Evans?" he remarked.

The Hall was full and the sounds of laughter and chat spilt from the room but Lily stood halfway up the stone staircase, clearly on her way back to the Common Room. She shook her head.

"I hope you're not avoiding James," Sirius sighed. "I swear to you, he'll let it go soon enough. Attention span of a Pygmy Puff that boy…"

Lily smiled at the comparison before saying "No, it's not James. I just don't feel like the conversation tonight, you get me?"

Sirius pondered this for a moment. "Yeah, I know what you mean. We're anti-social buggers you and me, aren't we Red?" He sniggered to himself. "So, you are hungry then?"

"Nothing too bad. I've got some chocolate stashed away up stairs, I think. Finger's crossed Alex hasn't got to it."

"It's Alex, of course she has."

The pair exchanged grins.

"Well, if you want food and no social pressures, then I know just the place Evans…"

The elves swirled around them, barely brushing their toes as Lily and Sirius perched one of the few workstations not covered in platters of food. Sirius had lounged out across the counter and took up more than his fair half while Lily sat cross-legged in one corner, her eyes full of wonder and her hands full of chicken legs.

"I can't believe you've had access to these kitchens for years and not one of you told me!" Lily spoke her words round a mouthful of food. "This is like my own personal HEAVEN." She groaned. The elves around her feet squealed excitably and began to bow deeply in her direction, lavishing yet more food upon her in gratitude for her compliments.

"Many thank yous, Madame; we elves is so kindly glad for your words!"

"Some gammon?"

"Some pie? Chicken and fresh thyme!"

"No? Perhaps some afters, miss? Cake or tart or crumble?"

Watching the spectacle that Lily's meal had become, Sirius felt his lips curve into his first genuine smile for weeks. The girl was squirming and giggling, trying to refuse the offerings of her new-found followers as politely as possible.

"Ooh! Sirius, make them stop!"

Now Sirius Black did not often admit he was wrong but maybe, just possibly, the introduction of this girl into his best friend's life would not have such an adverse effect on their friendship.

"Hey, little guys. Let the lady have some peace. 'Cause, you know, James won't want you anymore if you gain ten pounds. He's so shallow like that." Sirius shooed the elves away and shot a wink at Lily, who grinned gratefully before stretching out onto the counter in a similar position to Sirius's.

"Thank you… For talking to me the other day about James. You're right; I was pissing around and acting stupid. I'm so glad I've just cut all that now – me and James, well, we're really getting on. Even better than the start of the year. Next time he asks me out, I'm going to say yes." She began speaking quietly, Sirius almost missed her first few words but by the end of her speech Lily was speaking with determination and belief. Sirius listened in silence.

"Sirius? I'm not lying, I can't mess him around anymore. I won't change my mind; you can tell him all of this."

"I believe you."

And, suddenly, it all came flooding back to him. Sirius Black did not often admit he was wrong because, mostly, he was right. Yes, it all came flooding back, all the reasons why he had spent the last couple of weeks with an angsty scowl on his face.

James and Sirius, Sirius and James; those two names followed each other from people's lips more often than any couple. They were brothers and best friends and partners in crime. Sirius couldn't remember a time he'd ever had to ask James what time they were going to meet, or if James was free that day. He had unlimited access to the boy and he wasn't prepared to let that go.

Women would never last, family would never last – if anyone knew these things, it was Sirius Black. The girls flocked around him, sheep from whom one would never hear an intelligent word or witty comeback. Girls' who wanted a pretty man on their arm and fantastic sex.

And family? Don't even talk to him about family. What had they ever done for him except bully him and isolate him and make him feel like a freak? You're not supposed to feel alienated from your own family. No one there had even tried.

At eleven years old, Sirius Black had lost almost faith in the human race. Then he met James Potter.

In something of a daze and rush of ill-feeling, Sirius had managed to make it back to the now deserted Common Room. Lily smiled at him, unaware of his sense of malaise.

"I'm up here then." She said, gesturing up the staircase leading to the girl's dormitories.

A million thoughts rushed through Sirius's head. A quick glimpse of an image, too fast for him to see or properly comprehend. He had to act. He couldn't just sit by. One part of his head that had somehow managed to retain its sanity was screaming at him. He didn't want to do this. But he had to. No one had to do anything.

His lips were on hers, moving fast and furious. He felt nothing but the urgency, urgency, urgency. Sirius wrapped his arms around her waist, his strength preventing any resistance on her part. A small and childish voice inside of him wondered if she should be fighting more.

His fingers tangled themselves in Lily's flame coloured tresses and wished James was in his place.

The pair, still entwined, tumbled on to one of the crimson sofas. Lily had given up all struggles now; she had never been kissed quite like this. The heat engulfed her entirely. The world may have been spinning, everything may have been upside-down – but Lily Evans knew what she wanted.

The guilt, he found later, was not like a knife nor was it a slow burning sensation. It was a wrench, a gut-strangling jerk every time he saw James's face. In fact, the guilt-wrench could hit at anytime, anywhere. It replaced his alarm that morning, a gut punch of remorse to see the day in.

Sirius laid there in his boxers, under his Gryffindor courageous-red covers, sweating. His mind filled with images of last night, what he had done and how he had hurt the one person on true importance to him.

He'd done just what all those back-stabbing bitches, with whom he unfortunately shared blood, said he would. Sirius Orion Black had betrayed his best friend and his best friend's soul mate.

He had manipulated Lily, a girl he knew adored James. Someone who would make him monstrously happy. Sirius had capitalised upon her inexperience with sex and love; he knew she would have been the girl that all of the Sirius-types would pass by. He also knew that she'd be the one they'd kick themselves about later.

James would never harm Sirius if he discovered that night of (it could not be described as passion for Sirius took no pleasure at all from the night and doubted Lily did either) sex. He would find some way to blame himself and things would never be the same.

Not 'never-be-the-same' as in, having to adjust to timetabling Lily into Marauders time, but 'never-be-the-same' as in losing James forever.

Sirius faked slumber as his dorm-mates arose and waited until he heard them shuffle down to the Great Hall for breakfast before agonising some more. When he had eventually reached a level of composure he deemed fit for the public eyes of Hogwarts, he too made his way to the Hall.

When he arrived, Sirius found that Lily had not yet left her dormitory. He took this as a bad sign. If I eat quickly enough, I won't have to see her until Monday, he thought grimly, attempting to find some sort of positive.

However, he had only just battled his way through the chorus of greeting from his friends and found a seat when he spotted a red-haired girl weaving through the crowd, clutching a charred tome.

She halted next to James and he turned around with a smile on his face that promptly caused around ten successive guilt-punches in Sirius's stomach. Lily, on the other hand, looked as though she was holding back tears. James placed a comforting hand on her arm. She would not sit down.

Please, don't tell him. I promise, I never meant for it to happen. I will forget all about it. I know you love him. Please, don't tell him.

"James. I burnt your book, the copy of A Midsummer Night's Dream. I was trying to do Flitwick's charm." The girl paused and took a deep, composing breath as her walls began to tumble down. Sirius relaxed. Of course. She loved him. She, like Sirius, could not tell him but could only express her true and deep regret.

"Oh God, I am so so sorry." Was all Lily could manage before James manfully steered her to some place much quieter much to the confusion of their friends. Sirius answered them in the only way he could.

"She loves him, you know."

A/N: I really loved working on this and tried really hard with it; all reviews are so much appreciated!