Author's notes: I thought about this last night, and then wrote it down! Amazing, huh? So anywho, enjoy this hopefully mildly humorous story. Well, it's actually not funny at all. But, whatever...

Just sayin'.

Also, the title seemed like a good idea before I wrote the story, but it does

In a Pickle about Pants Pockets

Carole Hummel-Hudson was in the laundry room doing some, well, laundry. Kurt was back from Dalton, a rarity, and she had decided to do his laundry for him because she thought he needed some "him" time. He was never alone, especially in Dalton. She dumped his blazers, shirts, pants and socks onto the ground before him. She decided to do a grey wash first.

She searched the house for all other grey items of clothing, and returned to the washing machine. She began to check the pockets of all the clothes. She had broken a total of 4 washing machines because Finn had left ridiculous things in his pockets, causing them to break them. Those things were, 8 rolls of quarters, a screw driver, a bag of nails, and a tiny bottle of ketchup, in that order.

But this was something different. She found something that she hadn't found before. And she had found everything from tiny-dinosaurs to charm bracelets in dear Finnegan's pockets. It was like a tiny haberdashery. For the record, she didn't actually know where the charm bracelet came from, it was just there. But this...

This was something else.

And it wasn't even in Finn's pocket.

It was in Kurt's.

She'd always thought him so sweet, young, innocent. Just look at how baby-faced he is! It's adorable! He's like a five foot ten eight year old. She never really expected to find a condom in his pockets. Well, not a condom. Six of them. One in every pair of pants. Why would you need one in every pair of pants? At least he was being safe... She laid everything she had found on a counter top beside the dryer. She didn't know why Finn would ever need eighteen pokemon cards on his person at any one time, especially since he was seventeen, but... that's Finn for you. And a yo-yo. What was he doing with a yoyo?

She called Burt to the laundry room and gave him his pocket treasure. He caught a glance of the other objects, and his eyes narrowed when he saw the condoms.

"Who owns those?"

"Finn."

"Finn?"

"Yes, Finn."

"Do you want me to talk to him?"

"No, it's fine. Really. I've already given him the "talk."

"Are you sure they're Finns?"

"Positive, now skedaddle, and call Kurt."

Burt strode away and yelled at Kurt to get his pocket treasures. That's what she always called them, "pocket treasures". She chuckled to herself and checked on the washing. Another fifteen minutes left. Kurt sashayed into through the door behind her.

"Hi Carole."

"Kurt..."

"Something wrong?" He cocked his head to one side.

"Are these yours?" She asked, showing him the offending acticles.

His face paled. All the color left his cheeks and he became almost as white as the linoleum floor on which they were standing. His mouth slowly opened, and closed again. He gulped, really loudly. She bit the inside of her cheek to stop herself from giggling.

"So, are they yours?"

"Yess...Don't tell my dad! Please!"

"Why shouldn't I?" she chuckled.

"Because he'll kill him!"

"Are you sure?"

"I pretty sure he'd castrate Blaine with his bare hands...oops!" his hand shot up to his mouth and his eyes widened.

"Blaine?"

"Forget I said that."

"Not a chance. What's he like?"

"Sweet, caring, amazing singer, great sense of fashion, curly brown hair and he plays the guitar."

"Sounds nice."

"He is."

"Goes to Dalton?"

"He's in the Warblers."

"And he's gay...?

"Yes."

"Oh, okay. Be safe sweetie."

"...is that it?

"What it?"

"This conversation. I mean, my dad would ramble on for hours at a time preaching about not letting him "pressure me" and then launch into a long awkward talk on gay sex. And I nearly die of embarrassment each time, because he chooses to use the most awkward and formal words, and it's just awful because he's my dad..."

Carole laughed. She told him that this conversation was awkward enough without that. Kurt flushed scarlet.

"Thanks Carole... love you."

"Love you too, sweetie."

And with that he scampered out of the washing room and down to the basement, whipping his phone out of his pocket to answer an incoming call before he even reached the stairs.

I love Carole. She should be given more lines in the show! And I think there should be loads of Kurt-Carole scenes. You better be reading this, Ryan Murphy!